"Rosie, I didn't--"
She thrust my pants up towards me, fiery tears igniting her eyes. "I know you didn't mean to," she said. "I just can't do this anymore. I lay in bed at night and the sound of you screaming her name floats down the hall and fills my room. I can't even enter your bedroom without you getting uncomfortable because she still might be there in spirit. And now I'm going to have to live with the knowledge that anytime we have sex, it's always going to be her you're thinking of. Don't you realize what this is doing to me? You're killing me, Nick. You're killing me."
She gasped for breath, her hand sprawled across her abdomen as if she was about ready to double over. I shook my head, the denial still keeping its strong grip on me.
"No," I shot back, pressing the wadded up pants to my crotch. "I don't realize that I scream in my sleep. As for you entering the bedroom, that's why we're moving. Everything else is going to take time, but I'm working at it. I'm working hard. Because I love you."
She shook her head, slipping her sweatshirt on over head head even as I pleaded with my eyes.
"Nick< I love you too," her voice cracked and she took a deep breath. "But, I've coddled you for months. Tito warned me I was biting off more than I could chew and--and I think he might have been right."
I was trying to keep the panic at bay, but I knew it was a losing battle. "What are you saying?"
"I'm saying," she paused, sliding her slender legs into her exercise pants. "I want to go home."
"We will be going home. Our home. It will make everything better."
Her hair shielded her face. The lack of eye contact spoke volumes. "I'm going back to my home. I miss Tito. I miss everybody. I need my family. This was just a young, dumb girl's reckless adventure. I thought I was going to cure you, but I was wrong. I'm not supergirl. You're better, but you've got such a long way to go and I just don't think I can handle it. The emotions I feel are too strong. They're scaring me.
"If the emotions are strong then that's reason to stay," I said, a hard edge creeping into my voice. "If you go, I'll--"
"You won't," she said firmly. "If there's one thing I know about you, it's that you won't do that."
"I can't lose you too," I begged. "Please."
When she finally looked directly at me, I suddenly realized that the impishness I loved had somehow disappeared from her. I wasn't sure when it had happened, but her devil-may-care attitude had vanished. She was shrouded in maturity, a maturity that must have developed with her innate need to take care of me...
And my epic failure.
"I'm sorry," she whispered. "But I need to do this. Maybe...maybe someday..."
She trailed off and I think both of us knew that if she walked off she wasn't going to return.
My little stowaway was setting herself free.
The ghost of you and me
When will it set me free
I hear the voices call
Following footsteps down the hall
Trying to save what's left of my heart and soul
"Nick, it's been a week and you still haven't returned my call. I went over to the new place but it's empty. You there? Pick up."
Beep.
"Nick, it's Brian again. AJ told me he can't get ahold of you. He tried going over to your old place but you didn't answer. Your cell is dead too. We're getting worried."
Beep.
"Hey, it's D. I just heard you've gone MIA. Why am I always the last to know this stuff? Where are you?"
Beep.
"Man, it's Drew. What happened to me getting to meet your new girl? Why aren't you answering your phone? You're such a shit head. Get back with me."
Beep.
"This is Melody from your doctor's office. You've missed your last three appointments. Please call back as soon as you get this message. Thank you."
Beep
I pressed my cheek farther into the white cotton pillow. Time had gotten hazy again. My body had curled in on itself, fetal position style. The beep had disappeared more than four minutes ago and yet it seemed like it was still going off.
Over and over and over...
"ROSIE, NO!"
My eyes snapped open. I had fallen asleep. My mouth was open, my lungs exploding. I gripped the sheets, my eyes caked with days worth of sleep.
And there she was.
There they were.
Rosie and Lauren. A mismatched pair if I had ever seen them, both surrounded by an odd glow. Rosie's face sparkled with the mischief and careful spirit that had drawn me in like a moth to flame. Lauren stared at me with loving, caring eyes.
They both began to walk out of the room.
"NO!" I screamed.
My body uncurled itself and I hurled myself to the ground. My palms burned as they slid along the rug before I scrambled to my feet.
A haze fell over my eyes, but I swear I could hear them talking.
"Sure you don't want to fish?" You obviously know how, Nicky."
Remind me again why I married you?"
"Take me to bed."
"I love you."
I was halfway towards the stairs when my foot caught on a crappy rug. I slammed back down to the ground, landing hard on my chest.
"Nick."
I looked up, my blood running cold. Lauren. Rosie was gone, but Lauren was still there. She knelt down next to me and it was all I could do not to reach out and try to touch her even though the ghostly aura around her told me it would be impossible.
"I miss you so much," I moaned. "I miss both of you."
"It's too late for me," she whispered. "Nick, I don't want you to waste your life. Please, baby. There are people here that need you."
"Like Rosie?"
She didn't answer right away and I feared she would fade away before I could hear her voice again. Finally she let out the softest of sighs. It felt like an air conditioner being turned on directly above my head.
"You need to go to her before it's too late."
"Too late?" The tone of her voice scared me more than the idea that I was talking to a ghost. "What do you mean?"
The glow became much more intense and the clearly defined images of her began to dissolve.
"Go," she whispered. "Love again..."
"And GO."
Suddenly my body jerked. I sat straight up in bed, my soaking wet hair plastered to the back of my neck. I rubbed my face, feeling the long hair of beard and mustache growth that had developed from my lack of grooming. The sun was pouring through my window.
"It was just a dream," I whispered.
"Just a dream."
At that exact moment, the phone rang. I let it roll over to my answering machine again. After my recorded message played, AJ's voice came floating through the room.
"Dude, it's J again. You and Rosie didn't go back to her little island did you? God, I hope not. I just heard about the earthquake. Place is a fucking disaster. If you die, I'm going to kill you. Give me a FUCKING call back, NOW."
Beep.
It took my brain half a minute to digest the actual message. When I did, I slapped at my nightstand, finding the TV remote. I clicked on the TV, my fingers barely able to press the right numbers for CNN. The minute I landed on the channel, I saw the picture...
And I knew.
"Honolulu was hit with a 6.5 earthquake this morning. Sand Island, which lies at the entrance to Honolulu Harbor was at the epicenter. A small tourist stop, it has been almost completely destroyed. Aftershocks have already been reported."
"Crews are on the scene searching for any survivors. So far, only three have been found within the shops on the coastline. Stay tuned to CNN for--"
Click.
