"I got you a burger."
"I'm not hungry."
"When's the last time you ate?"
"I told you, I'm not hungry."
Joshua was sitting in an orange hard plastic chair, hunched forward, his elbows resting on his knees. His dark hair hid his face. I sat down beside him, my own chair creaking in protest.
"I know you don't feel hungry. I don't feel hungry either. But if you don't eat, you're going to get sick and neither of us can get sick right now. How's the stitches?"
Even though he had put up a fight, I had forced him to get his own injuries checked out. Eight stitches later, he had come through relatively unscathed physically. But not mentally. No one needed to tell me that he was suffering on the inside.
"Why haven't they come out and told us anything about Rosie?" he asked, ignoring my own question.
I looked up at the clock. It had been three hours since we had arrived at the hospital. I knew they had taken her into surgery.
I didn't know anything else.
"I'm sure they don't want to waste time talking to us when they can be helping her," I said. It wsa what I had been telling myself for the last ninety minutes as the waiting became too much even for me.
"She's always been like my sister," Joshua said suddenly. He reached for the burger and I heard crinkling as he pushed back the paper. He took a bite and I followed suit. We chewed silently.
"They didn't deserve this. And this burger tastes like shit."
I nodded. "No, they didn't. Life's not fair. Too many bad things happen to good people."
"Hmm."
I took another bite. I worked my question about my chews. "What do you mean, 'hmm'?"
"I figured you'd say something about how God has a plan or something."
Before I answer, I couldn't help but think the burger really did taste like shit.
"Maybe he does, but that doesn't mean I like it," I said.
ory Joshua nodded his agreement. We polished off the burgers and lapsed into total silence. Joshua draped himself across the orange chair to his left. After about twenty minutes, I realized he had fallen asleep, most likely the exhausted sleep I knew so well.
I stretched out, my head pressing back against the walls. I let my own eyes close. I thought about my dream and Lauren's warning. I had a vague realization that the memory of her didn't cut me as much as it had done even a few days before. My eyes opened again and I looked at the clock.
My pain was now for Rosie.
"Nick Carter?"
My body jerked itself out of sleep. I looked up at a doctor, clad from head to foot in scrubs. I looked to my left and saw Joshua stir.
"I'm Nick Carter," I said. I stood and extended my hand. Joshua sprang to his feet beside me.
"How's Rosie?" he asked.
The doctor shook my hand and then extended his own towards Joshua. The teen hesitated, obviously waiting to hear the answer before deeming the man worthy of a shake.
"She's in recovery. You both should be able to see her in an hour when we transfer her to a room."
With that said, Joshua shook the doctor's hand. I ran my palm along the stubble on my chin.
"How is she?" I asked thickly.
The doctor nodded, prepared for the question. "We worked carefully on the amputation. It could have been much worse. A trans-tibial amputation doesn't usual hinder quality of life. The removal was done below the knee so she can be fitted with a prosthesis and maintain an active lifestyle."
"So what took so long?"
The question came from Joshua, but I have to admit that I had been wondering the same thing. The doctor didn't seem phased.
"We located some internal trauma. We removed her gallbladder as well as fixed a tear in the stomach. Again, it could have been much worse."
Suddenly the tension in my chest lifted. I began to breathe a little easier.
"So she's going to live."
The doctor actually smiled. "The whole thing's a miracle, but yes, she's going to live. I'm going to make sure she's ready to go to recovery, but a nurse will come out and get you when we've moved her to a floor."
"Thank you," I said softly. I watched the man move hit a large metal square with his elbows. The hydraulic double doors wooshed open and he disappeared. I cupped my hands to my mouth and blew hard.
"She's gonna be okay," I said in awe. I lowered my hands and turned to Joshua. "Good news, right?"
I was surprised to see that he had stepped several feet away. He was turned towards the wall, his body hunched. I walked slowly towards him.
"Did you hear what I said? We've got good news."
He didn't answer at first. I saw his chest rise and fall.
"I'm glad she's okay," he said quietly. "But what's going to happen to me?"
He looked ashamed at the fear in his own question. I backed up against the wall, staring directly at him.
"You think I'm gonna let anything happen to you? You and me are in this together. You're staying with me. Rosie and you. Your both gonna stay with me." "Why?"
His confusion surprised me. "Why what?"
"Why would you do that? I haven't done anything for you to like me."
He was dwelling on the boat. Pain was a wicked creature; it made every little bad thing you'd ever done become magnified a thousand-fold. I smiled.
"You wouldn't be a hormonal teenager if you didn't do stupid shit," I explained. "It's water under the bridge."
I thought that would satisfy his question, but he wasn't done. His eyes narrowed and I saw anger spark into his light brown eyes. "Rosie said you didn't really love her."
My mouth went dry. I turned away so he wouldn't see how bad the words hurt. I bent my knee and kicked my filthy sneaker back against the wall lightly.
"I didn't treat her the way she needed to be treated," I said, struggling not to choke up. "But I did love her. I do love her. And if I need to spend the rest of my life proving that, then that's what I'm going to do." I met Joshua's glare. "You've got to believe me. I love her."
We stared each other down. Joshua was the first to back down. I could almost see him processing what I had just said. He nodded.
"You wouldn't have come here if you didn't," he rationalized.
"You're right," I said. I glanced at the clock. We still had a long wait. I stepped away from the wall and touched his shoulder. "In fact, I've got to tell you how I got to you guys."
"You're never gonna believe it..."
