"What if she asks about her leg?"
"Let me handle it."
"What if she doesn't want to see you?"
Joshua and I were standing outside Rosie's hospital room having a last minute discussion. I crossed my arms at the last question and sighed loudly.
"I'm not going to go there," I said honestly. Joshua shrugged.
br> "Okay. But you know Rosie."
Yes, I did know Rosie. I knew her proud side, but I also knew her soft side. And I hoped that her softness would trump her pride.
My heart began to pound as I pushed open the door. Joshua ducked under my arm and entered first. He began a slow shuffle towards the bed. I followed behind him.
She was pale, but beautiful. I relished in watching her even breathing. She was housed in one of those horrendous hospital gown. Angry bruises dotted her arms. The cut over her lip was stitched; heavy gauze was craddling the empty space below her right knee.
Joshua reached her first. He pressed his hand over her own hand draped across her chest. I made my way around to the other side of the bed and pressed my hands into the mattress. I leaned down and pressed a kiss to her cheek.
The moment my lips left her face, her eyes fluttered. She seemed to be struggling to come up from the depths of whatever world had previously held her. She let out a gasp, her upper body almost lifting off the bed. Her hand sought Joshua's and her eyes opened in emerald glory.
"Rosie," Joshua whimpered. He lowered himself across her chest, tears splashing onto their entwined hands. Rosie looked down at him in confusion. The confusion deepened when she looked up and saw me.
"Where am I?" she asked in a hoarse whisper.
Joshua was still crying so I ran my thumb along the skin I had just kissed and reminded myself I was the strong one this time around.
"There was an earthquake," I said gently. "You were in the restaurant cooking in the kitchen."
I stopped there, waiting. Her eyes rolled slightly as if she was trying to rewind events in her mind. "I was making pancakes," she said. "The ground began to shake and a pan fell and hit my lip."
She moved her hand away from Joshua and he straightened up, wiping his eyes with the back of his hands. She touched the stitches and shivered. She looked at Joshua.
"Are you okay?"
He nodded, unable to speak. He looked at me desperately. Rosie's head rolled back in my direction.
"How did you--"
"I heard about the earthquake and got here as fast as I could," I said. "I needed to make sure you were okay."
Rosie almost looked ashamed at her next question. "Was I?"
She had yet to look down. I took her hand; she didn't pull it back. "You're going to be fine," I said gently. "But you had a lot of injuries. The restaurant's completely gone. The stove fell on you."
Her eyes widened. "The stove..."
I pressed my palm into hers. "I crawled into the rubble and found you. The rescue team got you out and we're all at the hospital in Honolulu. They had to take our your gallbladder. And...and your leg was trapped under the weight of the stove. They did what they could, but the aftershocks were making the whole thing too dangerous and we just needed to get you out. You needed some major surgery on your right leg."
The doctor had warned me that the pain block was still holding fast in her right leg. She wasn't aware of her loss because she couldn't feel it. But she could see. I watched as her eyes trailed down her body. When she got to her leg she began to scream.
Her eyes rolled back in her head.
"This will have minimal effect on your quality of life. There isn't much that amputees can't do that everyone else can. As I was telling Nick and Joshua, the place of amputation gives you a lot of options."
The doctor held a large chart aloft, pointing out different things with the tip of his pen. I could tell Rosie was only half-listening. She hadn't let go of Joshua's hand since she had woken up. Her grip on the boy had only tightened when she learned that Tito was gone. Her eyes had developed that haunted look that had lived in mine for years.
I hated it.
"Our plan is to let you rest up for a couple days so that the incisions from your gallbladder surgery heal. Then I want to get you fitted for a prosthetic and get you on your feet. After that, it's been arranged for you to fly out of here and finish all recouperation in California."
"California?"
The doctor looked at me. I looked down at Rosie.
"There's tsunami watches, aftershocks, and everything else here. Resources are being stretched too thin here. I want you to get the best care we can get you."
She didn't answer. Instead, she pulled Joshua closer. He pressed his head into the crook of her neck. She wrapped an arm around him.
"I'm not leaving him," she said firmly.
"You don't have to," I said. "He's coming with us. This is a package deal."
The doctor glanced at the three of us and folded up his chart. "I'm going to give you all some more time to visit," he said gently.
Rosie didn't answer. I watched as she began to stroke Joshua's hair. I sank down next to the bed and propped my chin in my hand.
"I should never have let you go," I said. "Rosie, I know you might not believe me, but I love you. You leaving tore me apart like you can't imagine."
Again, nothing. I licked my lips.
"But it was the best thing you could have done."
That got her attention. She looked at me and I saw that she hadn't expected me to say that.
"If you hadn't left, I would never have realized the role you had in my life. Lauren," I stopped for a second, the words I had held in for years finally coming out. "Lauren's dead and I can't bring her back. I loved her once and I'll always love her. But my heart still keeps on beating and it's only beating for you. I can love again and I need you to be the woman that I share that with. You brought me out of the darkness and now it's my turn. This," I motioned towards her leg. "is just a minor shower in the course of life. But the sun's going to come out again and I want us to feel its warmth together."
Tears filled her eyes. "Nick, are you sure?"
"Surer than I've ever been," I promised.
"But I'm..."
"You're Rosie. And you'll always be Rosie."
"He's all we got Rosie," Joshua added softly. "And he saved you." Some might have misconstrued his statement as desperation, but I could tell that there was more to it than that. He looked over at me with respect. Rosie glanced between the two of us. Her eyes settled on her leg. She reached for my hand and squeezed it tightly.
"I'm still here for a reason," she said, almost to herself. "Mom told me it'd be you."
Before I could ask her what she meant, she gave me a weak, but genuine smile.
"Let's make it count."
