"MOM! MOM! MOM!"
I sat up in bed, blurry-eyed and disoriented but attuned to the distress. The same thing had happened every night for the past two weeks. I faintly noticed the smell of newly painted wall as I rolled out of bed and headed towards the door. By the time I hit the hall, the screams had faded, replaced by sobs.
Joshua was sitting up, his face muffled in a pillow. I hovered in the doorway, blocking the weak stream of light that had been coming in from the hallway. I took a few steps in.
"Go," he mumbled.
"You know I'm not going to tell you it gets easier," I said. I crouched down next to the mattress. Joshua lifted his head slightly, propping his chin into the soft feather pillow.
"I hate this," he whispered.
"I know."
"I keep hoping she'll come to me. Like Rosie's mom did. Like your wife did."
The sorrow in his voice killed me. It was amazing how fast my life had done a 180. I was on the other side of grief now, but it didn't make the side I had wallowed in for so many years seem any less real. I scooted myself up on the bed and wrapped my arm around his shoulders.
"She's here for you whether you realize it or not," I said.
He didn't answer. I could almost hear his heart crashing against his rib cage. As his breathing slowed, I thought he had gone to sleep sitting up. I shifted slightly. That's when he spoke.
"When's Rosie getting out of the hospital?"
"Next week."
"Are you going to marry her?"
His question caught me off guard. I stared down at my shadowy left hand. "You think I should?"
"Yeah."
I smiled.
"Yeah," I repeated gently.
"I think I should, too."
"There's my boys."
Rosie had a strong grip on the metal bars framing either side of her. She looked up, her blonde hair askew, and smiled as Joshua and I entered the PT (Physical Therapy) room.
"Your cheering section's back," I said with a grin. "You ready to get outta here today?"
"More than ready," she said with a slight gasp. "I need real food." She glanced at Joshua.
"Grilled pineapple sounds good to me. What about you?"
He gave her a weak, watery smile. "Sounds terrific."
It had taken no fewer than three doctors and the physical therapist to get Rosie to wear the prosthesis and get up for the first time. The threat of weakening the remaining part of the leg so badly that she'd never be able to walk again pushed her to grit her teeth through the first few days of agony wearing the prosthesis. Now, two and a half weeks later, she was walking.
Joshua hung back as he always did, but I walked to the end of the bars and used my arms to swing me back and forth. Rosie's walk was slow and I could tell it still hurt like hell, but she smiled, watching my body act like a human pendulum.
"So, if you keep working this hard," I said lightly. "I'd say you're going to have your dancing feet back in no time."
She laughed. It wasn't a laugh up to her usual standards yet, but she was getting there. "I think my dancing days are over."
I shook my head. "They can't be. I can't do our first dance alone."
Rosie took another step closer to me. She had a habit now of watching each step. Her head snapped back up. "What first dance?"
I studied her precarious position and realized I was setting her up to fall flat on her face if I did what I wanted to do at that exact moment. I stopped swinging and just smiled.
"Your welcome home dance, of course."
The excitement that had been creeping into her eyes faded. "Oh, well...I'll be lucky to do a nice stagger to the couch," she said with a little laugh. "God, I feel eighty."
"You don't look eighty."
She blushed. I saw the PT guy give a nod of agreement. The flood of jealousy that coursed through me wasn't enough to punch him out, but it was enough to realize that I was on the right path. I just had to find the right time.
As Rosie made her way to the end of the bar and I pulled her to me, I felt the ring box press into my leg.
I would wait until we were home.
"It's just like I imagined. They've done so much work."
"Close your eyes," I said. "What do you hear?"
Rosie's eyes fluttered closed. She leaned her head back against the couch. "Waves."
"Mm-hmm. And?"
"Seabirds."
I took the opportunity to sink down next to the couch on one knee. I gave Joshua a thumbs up. He nodded.
"And?" I creaked the ring box open.
"And?" she repeated. "It just sounds like the beach. I can't wait--"
"Neither can I," I interrupted.
She opened her eyes. She looked up first by instinct. Then she looked down at me. Her eyes honed in on the ring in the box. Shocked is the only way I could describe her expression.
"Rosie Tal--Tal---Talika," my tongue wouldn't roll over her last name. I'm sure I looked horrified. She leaned closer. "hominganoka," she finished with a laugh. I smiled.
"Carter's so much easier to say," I reasoned. I plucked the ring out of the box. I cleared my throat, twirling the pretty diamond around.
"Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
She looked confused. I took her hand.
"Robert Frost poem," I said. "But it sums my life up perfectly. When I met you, I had reached a fork in my life. I had been going down a dark road, but you made me choose a different way. A better way. With everything we've been through in this short time, I want to make sure that we keep traveling the same road. You've made all the difference in my life. And I...I would be honored if you would take this ring and agree to be my wife."
A tear welled up in her right eye. She batted away and wiggled her hands in the air. "I won't cry, I won't cry," she chanted. She laughed again, a weepy, happy laugh. "Are you sure?"
"I'm surer than sure. And I even got permission."
I turned and looked at the stairs. Joshua's face peeked in between the large wooden slats of the rail. I gave him a thumbs up; he returned the gesture.
"Josh," Rosie said softly. "We're a package deal."
I turned back to her and saw her hand held out towards me. I took it gently. "I know you are. I consider this good practice for when I become a dad."
Rosie laughed. She began to cry in earnest as I slipped the ring on her finger.
"Damnit, I'm not usually such a...a...girl," she complained. I slid up on the couch, pulling her into me. Her teary face looked up at me.
"You're every bit a woman," I said. "No matter whether your fishing, saving baby turtles, or..." I lowered my voice even more, aware that Joshua was still listening. "running your nails down my back."
She shivered as I kissed her. Her arms wrapped around my neck. The tip of my tongue touched hers and for half a second I feared being yanked into a flashback. But the flashback didn't come. My heart began to pound in excitement as realization sank in.
The ghost of my life with Lauren had released its grip on me. I knew I would never forget the love that Lauren and I shared. I would never stop loving her. Yet, at the same time, I was excited to be making new memories. Life wasn't going to be easy, not with Rosie's recovery and a damaged teen, but both of those hurdles were just a reminded that life does go on.
And I couldn't help but believe that the best was yet to come.
