AJ’s Point of View

I stared at the wall paralyzed. I wasn’t able to move from the pressure in my chest. Eden’s comment cut me like a knife. I knew she was close to Brian, but I never realized he took my place. She wanted nothing to do with me. I understood why. I wasn’t a father; I was just the donor that created her. It wasn’t like that in the beginning; I took care of her because Leah wouldn’t. Sure Eden doesn’t remember those early years. Then Leah got her fucking act together and my bond with my daughter disappeared. It was my own fault I stepped back from her life. Maybe I should remove myself completely from her life. Eden was better off with Brian as her father.

“Age are you okay?” Leah asked in concern. I tuned her out because I wanted nothing to do with her at the moment. I was heartbroken. “Why are you crying?”

“Leave me the fuck alone.” I growled. I hadn’t realized that I was crying. I started to wipe my face with my t-shirt.

“I’m not in the best of moods right now. I’m trying to show some concern, but I see you would rather be an ass.”

“Isn’t that what I’ve always been to you an ass? I am a royal fuckup, always have and always will be. Why aren’t you with your perfect man?” I said bitterly. My jealously had increased since Eden’s comment.

“Brian is far from perfect. If you’re a royal fuckup, then what am I? Oh, yeah that’s right I’m the bitch slut.” She sat down next to me.

“What is wrong with us?”

“I don’t know. I thought after all these years I would get it right, but I haven’t. A week ago, I would have said everything in my life was under control and pretty much perfect. Can’t say the same thing now. “Leah commented ruefully.

“Life sucks.”

“Let’s get out of here for a while. These walls are closing in on me.” She stood up, took my hand and pulled me up.

“Where are we going?” I asked. I didn’t want to go anywhere.

“Who knows? Who cares? Let’s just be spontaneous.” She smiled at me. God, she could make me feel like nothing was wrong in the world.

“Fine. Shouldn’t we tell someone we’re leaving?” I questioned. When did I become so responsible?

“That’s part of being spontaneous. We don’t tell anyone. Everyone is off doing something. Let’s go have some fun.”

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After an hour of walking around, we found a bench in the park. The evening was beautiful with a cool breeze and the sun setting. I would say it was romantic, but I would be the only one participating.

“So now will you tell me what’s wrong?” Leah asked softly. It was like her inner bitch had evaporated. She was actually showing empathy.

“Only if you tell me what’s up between you and Brian.”

“You’ve got a deal, but you go first.”

I started playing with the hem of my t-shirt. It was a bad habit I never got rid of. “Eden told me that she thinks of Brian as her father.”

“Age, I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. Brian treats her like a princess. I knew they were close, but to hear her say it to me just hurt a lot.”  Eden took my hand so I would stop playing with my shirt.

“I’m sorry that Eden said that to you. What brought that comment on?”

“She came in all upset because she thinks there is something going on between you and Brian.”

“Damn that girl picks up on everything.”

“She’s bright and has a lot of common sense. Probably more than the both of us combined.” I smiled knowing how aware my daughter was about people. “I can’t blame her for feeling that way towards Brian. He cares about her and has been around more than I have these past few years. I can only hold myself responsible for her hating me.”

“She doesn’t hate you. Eden just has a hard time dealing with you not being around. Hell, sometimes I think she likes Brian more than me.” She sighed when mentioning Brian.

“What’s up his ass?”

“He’s jealous of you.” She looked at me seriously. I had to laugh. I couldn’t picture Brian being jealous of me. “I don’t find that funny.”

“I do.” I played with Leah’s hair.

“Why? You have so much to offer. Any woman would be happy to have a man like you.”

I scooted closer to Leah. She smelled like apples and vanilla. I could literally devour her neck. I couldn’t be thinking like that. She was getting married in a few months. Leah could make any man go crazy. I wanted to have her in my arms and in my bed. I wanted to lick every inch of Leah’s body and make her scream my name. Stop it, I told myself. I cannot be thinking like that. It was wrong on so many levels, but it seemed so right

“The only woman I want doesn’t feel that way.” I mumbled.

“Age, we can’t keep playing this game. I love Brian. We’re getting married. I’ve moved on, you should too.”  She breathed heavily. I could tell my closeness was getting to her. Leah could tell me she loved Brian until she was blue in the face, but I wouldn’t believe it. I was going to prove that I could get into her skin.

“It’s not a game. I still want you Leah. I never stopped. I’m a different man.” I ran a finger down her arm. She shivered. It was time to make my move. “I’ve changed. Can’t you give me a chance? If it doesn’t work out then you can go back to Brian.”

Before she had a chance to speak, my lips crushed hers. It was a hard kiss. My body pressed against hers. I may not have had sex in forever, but I certainly didn’t forget how to please a woman. Her hands were playing with the hem of my shirt. I snaked my tongue in her mouth. Leah rubbed her chest against mine. Her breasts felt good touching my body. She made me hard, hell harder than when I was just looking at her.

“God, AJ what brought this on?” She smiled at me.

“Leah, you’ve been in my head since you got here. All I want is you fucking me in my bed over and over. This is what you do to me.” I placed her hand on my manhood.

“Fuck.” Leah licked her lips. She was sexy when she was flustered. “This is so wrong.”

“Who’s going to tell? It will be our secret.” I licked her neck as she looked at the stars.

“I can’t sleep with you.”

“I’m not asking you to hop in bed at least for tonight. I just want some hot and heavy making out. Come, on. Please don’t make me beg.” I gave her my best puppy dog eyes. “It will be our secret. I’ll take it to the grave.”

Leah sat quietly for a few minutes. She was contemplating what to do. I gave her a nudge by placing my hand on her back under her shirt and massaging her soft skin.

“I’m going to go to hell for this.” She grabbed my face and kissed me. I was in heaven. I forgot everything else except the woman on the bench next to me. My other hand went to her breast. I slowly rubbed and squeezed it until she moaned into my mouth.

Brian, Eden, and everything else was forgotten. We were so into each other that nothing else mattered. I was right where I wanted to be. I could stay here forever with Leah.