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Leah’s Point of View

After an exhausting day, I was happy to be home. I wanted to order in Chinese and watch a movie. I set my briefcase on the floor by the door and slid of my heels. I placed the mail on the small table next to the door and walked into the kitchen.

“What are you doing here?” I asked in surprise. Brian wasn’t supposed to be home until tomorrow.

“I decided to take an earlier flight home. I missed you.” The look on Brian’s face proved otherwise. He was leaning against the island with his hand folded across his chest.

“I can tell by the happy look on your face.” I wasn’t in the mood to deal with whatever was making him pissy. Most likely it was going to be my fault.

“Who sent you these?” He pointed at the flowers.

“Umm…AJ.” I got myself a glass of water.

“Why did he send you flowers?” Brian expression grew angry. He wasn’t pleased.

“He wanted to thank me for being a good mom.” I took a drink.

“Really?”

“Brian why are you getting so upset about this? They’re just flowers. It’s doesn’t mean anything.” I knew anything dealing with AJ would upset him. I just wanted to forget the about them.

“I don’t trust AJ. After that kissing debacle, I don’t believe that he would just send you flowers for being a good mom.” He explained.

“Bri, that kiss was a mistake. You have no reason to worry about him. I love you. We’re getting married.” I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. “AJ is the father of my daughter end of story. I only have eyes for you”

“I know Leah. It’s just the way he ogles you. It pisses me off.” He played with my hair. “I love you so much.”

“Fine, Brian. I didn’t ask him to send me flowers.” I grabbed the flowers off the counter and threw them in the garbage.  “Does that make you happy?”

“What do you think? Just because I’m less than thrilled doesn’t mean you have to put on a spectacle for me.”

“No matter what I do or don’t do, it isn’t good enough for you.” I sighed.

“That’s not true. Damn it, Leah. This is about AJ, not you and me.” He walked over to me. “We’ve never had problem until now. It’s all because of him.”

“What do you want me to do? He’s in freaking L.A. We’re here in Atlanta. I don’t think he’ll be causing us trouble here. You know he was gracious enough to give you parents a week with Eden. So call him ass or whatever, but he’s not as bad as you make him out to be.” I yelled.

“All of a sudden you’re sticking up for him. I don’t get it.”

“Brian just stop! You sound jealous of him.” I wanted to stop this fight. I was tired of the jealousy.

“I’m not jealous. I don’t give a rat’s ass about him. It’s just you’ve changed since you’ve been around J.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” I waited for an answer, but nothing came. “See you can’t even tell me why.”

“Because it hurts me to even have to say it to you.” His voiced faltered. He caressed my face with his thumb. “It’s everything.”

“Can you be more specific?” I murmured.

“Damn Leah. You’re more sexual when he’s around.”

“What the hell?” I laughed in Brian’s face.

“It’s just a vibe I get when he’s around.  Every time you’re together there’s sexual tension in the room.”

“That’s ridiculous.” Brian was wearing me down. I knew I needed to come clean soon.

“Leah, I feel like we’re growing apart.” He said sadly as he looked at me.

“Brian, I love you and can’t wait to marry you, but this has to stop. AJ is always going to be in my life. You’ve got to accept that or being married is never going to work.”

“Did something happen between the two of you? Cause I don’t understand this sudden devotion to him. For the past five years you never said a kind word about him. Now every word you utter is about how wonderful he is.”

“What in the hell do you think we did, since you’re so sure that something went on.” My head was starting to ache.

“That’s what I would like to know. When you left the tour, everyone started acting weird. Nick and AJ aren’t talking. Something is up and I’m sure it has to do with you.”

“Thanks Brian for putting the blame on me.” I stomped out of the kitchen to the patio. I needed some fresh air. Unfortunately Brian followed me.

“Leah, just tell me the truth. Did something happen between you and AJ?” He gave me an icy glare. I stood there not saying a word. How could I tell him without hurting him and our relationship?

“You not talking says it all. I hope that whatever happened was worth hurting me.” He turned his back on me.

“Brian, I’m sorry.” I cried out. I had to tell him the truth.  He slowly turned around. “I slept with AJ.”

“Why?” It barely came out of his mouth.

Now it was time to explain something I don’t even know if I understood. It wasn’t as easy as just saying I was horny. There was so much more to me sleeping with AJ. I don’t know if I could explain it to Brian.

“I didn’t plan on it happening.”

“But you did it anyway. I don’t know what to say to you.” He looked into my eyes as he talked.

“Brian, I didn’t mean for it to happen. You know I would never hurt you on purpose.” I walked over to him, but he shrugged me away. I know I could never take it back.

“But you did. You did it right in front of my face. That was low.”

“I don’t know what else to say. I’m sorry.” Tears were falling down my face.

“You might be sorry, but you haven’t once said you regretted it. Do you love him?” Brian choked out. That was the one question I didn’t want to answer.

“Yes, I love AJ, but…” Brian cut me off.

“That all I needed to hear.”

“God damn it, Brian. Would you let me finish?” I stood in front of the door so he was unable to leave. “Yes part of me loves him and always will. AJ and I shared a lot of moments together. He gave me my daughter. “

“That’s right he can give you the one fucking thing I can’t.” Brian choked out.

“Brian this had nothing to do with you being sterile. If it did, do think I would be standing here right now. AJ was my first love. He will always hold a special place in my heart. I have no excuse for sleeping with him. It was wrong.” I was trying to make him understand, but I think I was just making it worse.

“Do you love me?”

“Of course I love you. Brian, you make me feel complete. You love me know matter how stupid I am or when I make mistakes. You treat Eden like your own. I love you and still want to marry you.”

“How do we get past this?” He asked uncertainly.

“I don’t know, but I want to be with you. I want to be Mrs. Brian Littrell. We’ve always been able to work things out.”

“Leah, I need time to think. I believe in working things out. I love you, but right now I don’t like you. I’m going to get a hotel for the night. I call you when I’m ready to talk.” He left me outside on the patio. I never felt so horrible in my life. I was a cold hearted bitch. Because of my actions I was in jeopardy of losing it all because of one night.