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Leah’s Point of View

I decided to take the day off from work. I wasn’t feeling well. My stomached ached, my chest hurt, and I was feeling downright yucky. I hadn’t slept since Brian went to stay at a hotel. That was three days ago. He wouldn’t answer my calls, texts, or tweets. I know I deserved to be ignored, but I wanted Brian back.

I was sitting on the couch watching Titanic for the fiftieth time. I didn’t feel as bad if I pretended I was crying over Jack and Rose. Crying was all I could do. I was a mess in every way possible. My hair was in a messy ponytail that I hadn’t brushed in days. I was wearing one of Brian’s old BSB shirts. Tissues were strewn across the room. I think I went through at least two or three boxes. Junk food packages littered the coffee table.

My thoughts went from Brian to AJ and back again. I loved them both, but for different reasons. AJ was my past, but Brian was my future. I promised myself to Brian, and it was the one promise I was going to keep. Eden deserved to have a stepfather like Brian. I couldn’t break that relationship. They had something special.

I must have closed my eyes for a bit because when I woke up I saw Brian sitting on the other side of the couch watching me. I looked at him for a few minutes before I said anything. “Bri.”

“Leah, you look like hell.”

“You don’t look so hot yourself.” Brian looked awful. He hadn’t shaved since he left. He was still wearing the same clothes.

“Yeah, well I don’t feel so hot either.” He looked at me sadly.

 “I’m sorry.” Just looking at him made me feel guilty. “I didn’t set out to hurt you.”

“But you did. Not once did you think of me when you were with him, because if you did you wouldn’t have done it.”

“I’m sorry. Things are complicated when it comes to AJ.”

“What’s so special about him all of a sudden?” Brian questioned.

“I don’t know.” I answered honestly. I wasn’t sure myself. “All these old feelings resurfaced. I don’t know if it was because we were on tour or what. The night we slept together he sang our song and I guess I was feeling nostalgic. I know it wasn’t right, but it won’t happen again. I’m really sorry.”

“Would you stop apologizing? I get that you’re sorry. It doesn’t make it any easier on me. How would you feel Leighanne came around and I screwed her?” He yelled at me.

“I’m sor…I feel guilty Brian. That last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you.” I backed away into the arm of couch. I couldn’t be near him when he was angry. “I would be pissed if that fucking bitch ever came back.”

“Well, now you know how I feel. If you would have slept with some random guy, I could have handled it, but AJ. You know how I feel about him.”

“He didn’t cause all of the problems. I made a lot of mistakes. I’m not the same person I was back then. I know you don’t like a lot of things that he did, but he was your best friend at one point.”

“I don’t want to talk about him anymore.” Brian moved closer to me. “We need to discuss us and how to get things back to normal.”

Brian was always in control of every situation. He made sure that things were fixed and back to order in a timely fashion. At times it bugged the hell out of me. I liked to be spontaneous and not have my whole life planned. Brian was the exact opposite. He wanted to know everything in advance and have it just so. We were so different, but they say opposites attract.

“I’m assuming you have a plan already.” I looked at him. He might have been looking rough, but he was still handsome to me.

“I did a lot of thinking these past few days. I know what I want for my future.” He paused. “I still love you even though you betrayed me. I don’t think I can live a day without you in my life.” Brian touched my face. He was so tender, it gave me chills.

“Bri.” I cried. My heart was aching waiting for him to tell me what he wanted from me.

“I still want to marry you. We are going to go through with our wedding plans. I have a some rules that we need to follow in order for this marriage to work.”

“Okay, what are they?” I was hesitant about these rules, but I loved Brian and would do anything to make him love me.

“First off, I don’t want you alone with AJ. Second the only time I want you talking to him is when it’s about Eden. When she turns eighteen, I want you to have nothing to do with AJ.  Third, I want us to adopt a baby. Do you think you can do that?” He asked me seriously. I know he meant for me to follow these rules for the rest of my life.

I could manage rule one. I didn’t plan on being anywhere near him. Rule two I could follow, but I didn’t understand how her turning eighteen would make AJ and I stop parenting her. Adopting a child would be easy. We had been talking about that for a while.

“Brian, I can do all of those, but I have one question.” I rubbed his thigh.

“What is that?”

“How do you expect me to stop all contact with AJ when Eden’s eighteen? I don’t think that’s possible. I mean sure we probably won’t communicate as much, but that is unfair to Eden.”

“Fine. Minimal communication with him.” He agreed grudgingly.

“Another thing. This stays between me and you. I will talk to AJ about the situation.” Brian ordered. It was my job to follows those orders he made. It bothered me a little, but I loved him enough to obey him.

“You need to talk to Nick. He knows about me and AJ. He was going to tell you at the ball if I didn’t”

“You mean weren’t going to tell me?” He face got red and his nostrils started to flare.

“I was Brian, but I was trying to find the right time.” I explained. Once again he was mad at me.

“There’s never a good time to tell your fiancé you fucked another guy.” He screeched at me.

“I’m sorry.” My eyes started to tear up.

“Anyway, do you promise to follow the rules?”

“Yes, Brian. I said I would.”

“Good, then everything will go back to normal starting tomorrow.” He stood up. “I’m going to get a shower and call Nick. I’ll be sleeping in the guest room tonight as seeing how I’m mad again. Tomorrow we start fresh.” With that he walked away and left me alone. What had I gotten myself into?