AJ’s Point of View

After Leah left, I went outside to get some fresh air to clear my mind. Tonight was hard for me. Leah was absolutely fucking gorgeous. I wanted her in my arms so bad. At dinner I probably shouldn’t have done what I did, but I couldn’t help myself. I needed to touch her. She didn’t stop me, so I assume that she enjoyed it.

I lit a cigarette and leaned against the hotel wall. It was nice to get away from it all for a few minutes. Watching Brian and Leah be all hugs and kisses was enough to make me sick. I knew I stood no chance with Leah. She clearly loved Brian. Once again, I was going to step back and let Leah be happy. For my own sanity I had to let go.

It was time to focus on Eden. I had made so many mistakes with her. The issues with her on tour made me realize that I needed to take the time with her. I loved my daughter more than life itself. The actions I took when we got back to L.A. really helped. Eden was talking to me; tell me all kinds of things about herself. She was intelligent, caring, sweet, and had a heart of gold.  I couldn’t wait to surprise her with the news that I was moving closer to her.

“J, what are you doing out here?”

“I just needed some air, D” I flicked my cigarette on the ground and grounded into the pavement.

“She looked gorgeous tonight. Did you tell her how you feel?”

“She was breathtaking.” I composed my thoughts. “I haven’t gotten to talk to her for more than five minutes since I’ve been here. When would I have the time to tell her something that important? Plus look how happy she is with Brian.”

“You owe it to yourself to tell her. She may say go to hell or she may realize she still loves you. J, it’s eating you up. You have to get it out, so that you are able to move on.”

“She’s not in love with me. Leah’s proven it many times. There’s no point in even telling her. My focus needs to be on Eden. That’s what really matters.” I told Howie, who looked at me like I was crazy.

“Eden definitely is definitely a priority. I think you’re afraid that Leah will feel the same way.” Howie countered. I think he was trying to piss me off.

“Why would I be afraid?”

“If Leah feels the same way it’s going to cause a lot of pain for a lot of people. As much as you dislike Brian, you don’t want to see him lose everything. J, you know exactly how he would feel if his world came crashing down. You’ve been there.” Howie hit the nail on the head. It was scary but he put my feelings into words I couldn’t. Do I hurt myself by not telling Leah the truth? Would it be fair to for me to hurt so many people so that I could be happy? Howie’s point was well taken, but it still left me unsettled.

“Damn it, Howie. So, I’m stuck either way.”

“No. It’s Leah’s a choice in the end, but she’s got to know that she has a choice.”

“But they are getting married.” I groaned in frustration.

“Take it from me. I was ready to ask a woman I didn’t love to marry me because I didn’t want to hurt her or her family. I was trying to be honorable and do the right thing. Now we are both happy with the way things turned out.” Howie lowered his voice as Nick walked out with some blonde chick. “There’s just something about the way Leah looks at you. She doesn’t look at Brian that way. I think you should tell her. I better go find Sadie.”

I was glad that I had someone on my side. It made it a little easier if I decided to go through with telling Leah. I was sitting on the fence about what to do.

I made my way into the hotel. I flash of red caught my eye. I looked down the hall. Brian had Leah pinned against the wall. His hands were all over her body and their lips were connected. Seeing them like that made my decision easier. I knew I had a snowball’s chance in hell with Leah.

I walked towards the ballroom. Eden was dancing with a boy and was all smiles. It made me want to cringe. My little girl wasn’t little anymore. I sat down next to my mom and watched.

“Is everything okay?” She placed an arm around my shoulder.

“Everything is fine. Who’s Eden dancing with?” I wouldn’t look at my mom. She would see right through my words.

“I’m not sure, but she seemed excited when he asked her to dance.”

I was praying that it wasn’t that punk Xavier. This boy looked closer to her age. He was blonde and tall. Shit, he was like a younger version of Nick. I didn’t like that. I think it was a good thing that I was moving to Atlanta. I would be able to keep all these boys away from my daughter.

“Did you decide if you are going to move to Atlanta?” My mom asked.

“Yes, I’m going to stay and look at houses while Eden is on vacation.”

“Is she the only reason you are moving here?”

I looked at my mom. “Yes, I love Leah, but she’s marrying Brian. My focus is Eden.”

“I’m glad you are working on things with Eden. You can’t convince me that you don’t love Leah.”

“Yes, mom. I love Leah.” I sighed. “I always have and always will.”

Eden walked over. Thank goodness because I was tired of talking about Leah. I was going to respect her wishes of marrying Brian.

“So who was that boy?” I asked curiously. Eden smiled as her face grew red.

“That’s Keegan.”

“How do you know Keegan who doesn’t have a last name?” My mom gave me a small smack. I just wanted to know about this boy.

“His name is Keegan Stephenson. We go to school together.  He was in my history and science class.” She gushed.

“I think someone has a crush.” I teased my daughter. Her face got even redder.

“Daddy.” She shrieked. “He’s just a friend. I mean sure he’s cute in that Nick Carter sort of way, but we’re just friends.

“Oh so you think Nick Carter is cute?” I couldn’t help teasing her. Eden and Nick were close since she was a baby.

“Dad every girl in America has a crush on Nick. Duh!” My mom snickered. I rolled my eyes at her.

“As long as this Keegan doesn’t act like Carter, I’m okay with him.”

“Daddy.” She shakes her head at me. “We’re just friends. There’s no romantic connection even when he kissed me.”

“He kissed you?” I questioned all dad like.

“Just once. It was like kissing Midnight.” I loved how she compared the kiss to getting a kiss from her dog.

“I love you, Eden.” I pulled her into my arms for a hug.

“I love you, Daddy.”