Leah’s Point of view

I entered Eden’s room. She was peacefully sleeping. She looked like an angel.  I couldn’t believe my baby was growing up. Before I knew it she would be dating and going to college. I prayed every night that she wouldn’t make the same mistakes I did. Knowing Eden, she would do just fine with not screwing thing up. She had a good head on her shoulders.

Last night AJ and I discussed that it might be better if I talked to Eden myself.  It wasn’t that AJ didn’t want to participate because it was my idea. Eden wasn’t used to the double parenting from us, and I wanted to have a woman to woman chat with her. There were things I wanted to tell her that I didn’t want to in front of AJ.

“Mom.” She yawned. “What are you doing in here?”

“I was watching you sleep.” I smiled at her.

“You haven’t done that since I was like ten.”

“I know and I missed it.”

“Right now I wish you would leave me alone.” Eden commented and rolled over so she couldn’t look at me.

“I know you’re mad at me, but we need to talk.”

“I’m beyond mad. I don’t want to talk to you or dad. You both disgust me.” She hissed and threw the covers over her head.

“Eden, I wish you would give me a chance to explain. This isn’t easy for me or your dad.” I stated calmly.  I wish she would act like the daughter I knew and loved. I sometimes forgot she was just a teenager.

“Leave me alone.” She yelled from under her comforter.

Yet again, I was going to reason with my fourteen year old. Hopefully I would have better luck this time. She needed to hear me out. “Can you please take the covers off you head and talk to me like the mature fourteen year old you are?”

“No.” Her voice answered with attitude.

I saw her cell phone sitting on the nightstand. I pulled mine out of my pocket and dialed her number. Her phone rang once, then twice. Slowly she pulled the covers off and grabbed her phone. When she did this I pulled her comforter off the bed. She looked at the number and threw her phone across the room. It broke into pieces.

“That was low. I hate you.”

“Eden, you need to hear me out.” I moved onto the bed next to her.

“Fine. Don’t think it will change how I feel.” She leaned against the headboard.

“Someday you’re going to find the man of your dreams. He’s going to sweep you off your feet and that is all you will care about…”

“What does this have to do with you being a cheating slut?” I gave her a look of disappointment, but didn’t say anything.

“Let me finish. I let you read my journal thinking it would help you understand the relationship I had with your dad.”

“Yeah, all I got from it was that you were obsessed with dad, had a lot of sex and got knocked up. I can’t believe you were so stupid to not use protection.” Eden remarked rudely.

“Then you wouldn’t be here and I wouldn’t have to have this conversation. Life has a funny way of giving you lemons. Some people make lemonade, while other let the fruit rot. I chose to make lemonade.” I leaned back on the headboard next to her. “Many people thought it was a mistake to have a baby as a teen. It was hard, but looking back I would never trade you.”

“Mom what does this have to do with you screwing over Brian?”

“You really love Brian, don’t you?” I asked my daughter. Her devotion to him didn’t surprise me. Brian treated her like a princess.

“Mom, he was there for me when dad wasn’t around. He taught me about faith. Brian always made time for me.”

“Oh sweetheart, I know this is hard for you. This has nothing to do with you.” I attempted to comfort her.

“Mom, I love dad. Things have gotten better with him. Brian is like a second dad to me. He’s watched me grow up. Now I won’t have a relationship with him. That saddens me.” Eden confided. Tears were streaming down her face.

“Eden, just because Brian and I are no longer together doesn’t mean your relationship with him has to end. I think he’ll love you like a daughter no matter what. He can still be a part of your life.” I gave her a hug. She held on to me tightly. “Are you willing to listen to me now?”

Eden nodded her head at me as she wiped the tears off her face.

“Your dad and I have always had a volatile relationship. It was always full of passion. We could love each other one minute and hate each other the next.” I smiled thinking back to our many fights. “Things happened that caused us to break up. I still loved your dad after that. I pretend to hate him all these years, but deep down I always loved him.”

“What about Brian? If you loved dad so much, why were you with Brian?” Eden asked snippily.

“Brian came into my life when I thought I was ready to love again. I love Brian, but not in the same way I love your dad. He gave me the courage to love.”

“Mom, I don’t think you know what you want.” Eden got off the bed and picked up her broken phone. It was easier for her to avoid what she didn’t want to hear.

“Eden, life isn’t as easy as you make it out to be. Things get in the way and it’s messy. I didn’t set out to hurt Brian. I’m not that kind of person. Would you rather I be unhappy?” I questioned. My daughter wasn’t the easiest to talk to when she had an idea stuck in her head. I blame her father for that stubbornness.

“Mom you were happy with Brian until you came on tour. I saw things start to change. I told Nick and he told me to mind my own business. I’m just a stupid little girl that doesn’t understand anything.” Her voice rose with each sentence.

“No one thinks you’re a little girl. Eden, I trust you and treat you like the mature young woman you are, but some things aren’t your business.” I explained. I knew she would explode after that observation. I was honest with her.

“Damn it. That’s what everyone always tells me. It’s not your business don’t worry about it”
 She dumped the pieces of her phone on the desk. “It’s my fucking business, too. I live in this house. I have to see you and dad screwing every chance you get. Everything I know is changing and  I fucking hate it. I hate you. I hate dad. I hate everything.” She yelled and carried on. Eden shoved the pile of books off her desk.

“Eden, you need to calm down. Destroying your room isn’t the answer. You can be upset, but things aren’t going to change. Brian and I aren’t getting back together. Your dad and I love each other.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. My daughter was giving me a headache. “You need to stop the attitude. I don’t deserve to be treated that way. Neither does your father. You need to stop destroying stuff.”

“Whatever.” Eden leaned against the wall with her arms crossed. She was in full attitude mode. The teen years were going to be hell.

“As of now you’re ground for two weeks. If you want a new phone you’ll need to pay for it.”

“Go to hell!” She walked in her bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

I was in astonished by Eden’s behavior. I didn’t expect her to be thrilled, but she would have to learn to deal with it. AJ and I were together and it was going to be forever.