“Hey guys,” a raspy, much-missed voice called to the pair slumped on the lounge couch.

“AJ,” Brian said, sitting up and rubbing his face. “Howie, hi.” He nudged at the blond figure next to him. “C’mon, Nick, company.”

Nick blinked blearily, frowning as he tried to remember where he was and what was happening. A quick glance brought him fully awake.

“Hey, when did you get here?” he asked slowly. “What time is it?”

“Just now, it’s a little past noon,” AJ provided. “We brought lunch.”

“Figured you might be tired of hospital food by now,” Howie added.

“Thanks,” Brian said gratefully. They moved to a small round table by the window and sat down together, the first time since the accident. The bags of food were opened and distributed as they tried to catch up.

“Howie,” Nick said as he chose a french fry from the pile, “you feeling better? That’s a nasty looking bruise on your forehead.”

“The medicine kills most of the pain, but I have kind of a headache that won’t go away. It’s annoying.”

“But you got some rest, right?” said Brian.

“Yeah, that stuff puts me out like a light,” he sighed. “I hate feeling out of control.”

“Better than feeling all that pain,” AJ reasoned.

Howie nodded agreement, though he didn’t look pleased.

“How’s Kevin? And where’s Kris?”

Brian put his drink down and said, “The surgery last night took nearly two hours, and he’s been in ICU since. Kris is up with him, he hasn’t woken up yet.”

“But it’s been…” A slight pause as he did the math. “What, 17 hours?” Howie said, his voice full of concern. “Why hasn’t he woken up? Was the surgery-“

“The surgery went fine, the doc said they found two places they had to fix…”

“But,” AJ said when he fell silent.

“But,” Nick continued, “his fever hasn’t broken yet. They don’t know why, they’re trying all kinds of stuff now. They said he was stable, whatever that means.”

“He can only have one visitor at a time,” Brian explained. “Kris won’t leave, she’s as stubborn as he is.”

“How’s she doing?” AJ asked with a frown.

“She’s exhausted, worried, and scared to death.”

Silence settled on the four for nearly a minute.

“Lot of that going around,” Brian said as he stared at his paper napkin. “We’re going to try and convince her to go home for a few hours, but I doubt she’ll do it. I don’t think she’d rest at all.” He rubbed at his eyes, realizing how tired he still was. “How long are you going to hang around, D?”

“He’s not supposed to be up at all,” began AJ with a pointed tone.

“As long as I feel coherent,” Howie cut in. Then his voice dropped a bit. “Which might not be too long. I wanted to see how everything was going here… I…”

Brian reached over and touched him on the arm. “You need to take care of yourself, Bro. When Kev wakes up, he’ll need to see you’re okay.”

Howie gazed into sincere blue eyes for a moment, then looked away. “I guess.”

AJ and Brian exchanged worried glances.

“He won’t blame you,” AJ said quietly. “You know that. It wasn’t your fault.”

Howie bit his lip, then met his friend’s glance. “But maybe-“

“Maybe nothing,” Brian said firmly. “From what the cop told me, the night of the accident, it was your calling 911 so fast that made the difference. You did what you could, and that’s what matters. Kev-“ He stopped as his voice caught. “Kevin lost control of the car because of the slick roads and the circumstances. Period.”

Howie didn’t reply, but seemed to be considering the words. It was a start.

Nick crumpled up a sandwich wrapper and tried a shot at the trash can nearby. He missed by a good two feet. He got up with a sigh and retrieved the balled paper, dropping it where it belonged with a disgusted frown.

“I need to take a walk,” he said, not looking at his friends. “I’ll be back in a while.”

He was gone out the door before they could say a word.

*******

Nick hadn’t planned on going anywhere particular; he’d just needed to get some fresh air. He couldn’t tolerate the hurt, pained expression on Howie’s face, nor the concerned one on AJ’s. Brian’s eyes held a constant anguish… it had been too much. He knew it was babyish, to walk out like that so abruptly, but the air had seemed so heavy, so thick with despair.

He found himself at the elevators. Almost automatically he entered one and punched the button that led to the last place of refuge he’d found. Moments later, he stepped onto the Neonatal floor.

After a second’s hesitation he walked down the hall towards the nursery. He stood before the glass, and counted. Now, there were only nine tiny babies, all bundled up and in various states of rest. They all looked alike to him, different only by their pink or blue caps. Slowly, a small wistful smile transformed his face. This was life, new life. These little ones had so much ahead of them… their entire future. They had no worries, no concerns to cloud their minds or trouble their thoughts.

He looked closer, and saw each bassinet had a last name attached to the front.

Jeannie… could one of these babies be hers?

He bit his lip in thought. He couldn’t tell which were new ones and which had been there before; he had no idea what her last name was, so that didn’t help either.

“Which one is yours?” came a sudden voice from his left, making him jump in reaction.

“Mine? Oh, no, it’s not mine,” he said quickly to the nurse beside him. “I… I’m not sure. Someone I know… she was in labor yesterday…”

“What’s her name?” she asked. He realized for the first time that she was dressed in colorful scrubs.

Nick blushed in embarrassment. “I only know her first name. Jeannie.”

The nurse thought for a second. “Let me check for you,” she said kindly, not seeming fazed by his admission.

The woman went through the nursery doors and, after a minute, returned.

“Jeannie Stephens,” she supplied. “That’s her daughter, the third from the right.”

A girl! “Is she okay and all?” Nick said, peering at the sleeping figure. God, so tiny…

“The baby is doing fine,” she said. “Both she and Ms. Stephens will be staying here a few days, so they can get some rest.” The nurse looked at the wide-eyed young man and smiled. “I think Ms. Stephens can receive visitors, if you would like to see her. She’s in room 404.”

“Oh, thanks,” he said belatedly. He watched the baby for another moment. “She’s so… small.”

The nurse laughed softly. “Yeah, they usually come that way.”

Nick ducked his head sheepishly, realizing how stupid he’d sounded. “Thanks,” he said.

He glanced around and saw a sign pointing the way to the room section in question. With one final look towards the baby, he turned and walked the short distance to Jeannie’s room.

He knocked softly and came in when he heard her summons. The look on her face when she saw him was one of surprise.

“Hi,” he said shyly, offering a smile.

“Nick, hi,” she said, sitting up carefully. “I didn’t expect to see you!”

“I’m still waiting for news on… ah, my friend,” he said, coming a bit closer. “How are you doing? How did things go?”

“It was rough for a while,” she confessed honestly. “But today is much better.” Her eyes lit up. “It was all worth it, though… I have a beautiful baby girl, a daughter! Oh, Nick, she’s perfect.”

He grinned. “I saw her,” he said. “They showed me which one she was before I came to see you. You’re right, she’s beautiful. But… man, she’s so small!”

“She didn’t feel small yesterday afternoon,” Jeannie commented wryly. At Nick’s blush, she laughed. “It’s okay, I won’t give you details.” She leaned back into her pillows. “Sit for a second, it’d be nice to have some company.”

He noted a complete lack of flowers, balloons or cards that decorated almost every other room. He drew up a chair near the bedside and said, “You haven’t had many visitors yet?”

She sighed. “Nope, don’t expect to. Like I said yesterday, I’m going solo on this one.”

Nick frowned; he didn’t want to pry, so he didn’t ask details. Instead, he said, “Have you named her yet?”

“I had it all planned,” she said. “Lauren Renee, remember? But the moment I looked at her face, I knew it wasn’t right.” She gave a small smile. “The name Elena Lynn came to me in a dream last night, and it seemed perfect.”

“Elena Lynn,” Nick repeated slowly. He nodded. “That’s beautiful. Almost musical, you know?”

“Thanks,” she said, beaming.

“Um,” he said after a moment, “is there anything you need? Anything I can get you, or the baby?”

“What do you mean?” came the puzzled question.

“Well, you know… stuff. Babies need all kinds of stuff, and if you’re alone…” he began awkwardly.

“Oh, Nick,” she said, her eyes filling with tears, “that’s so sweet of you. But I’m fine, I’ve had almost nine months to plan things out. I’ve got plenty of things for her. And you’re wrong,” she added as she gave him a wavery smile. “I’m not alone. I’ll never be alone, not with Elena in my life.”

He looked at her face and saw truth and strength there. He swallowed against sudden emotion and said, “She’s one lucky kid.”

“Thanks,” she whispered, sniffling a bit. “But I’m the one that feels blessed.” She reached out a hand towards him, which he took at once. “I’m glad you came.”

“Me too.”

She took a steadying breath. “We’ve been talking about me all this time,” she said. “What about you? You look about as bad as I felt yesterday. How is your friend doing?”

“I… don’t know for sure,” he said. “They had to operate on him last night, but he still hasn’t woken up yet. Kev-“ He stopped, realizing his mistake. He wasn’t supposed to reveal any information other than what management had approved.

“No, that’s okay,” she said when he fell quiet. “I had guessed it was one of your group. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone about it.”

“We’re not supposed to say anything,” he said apologetically.

“I was more interested in how you were doing, anyway,” she declared. “I imagine there are a ton of people taking care of him, but you... This is a real tough time for you, I can see it.”

“Yeah, it is,” he admitted. “This is bigger than anything I’ve ever had to go through...”

“And you’re scared, and unsure, and don’t know what to do next,” she finished. “Yeah, I know exactly how that feels, believe me. But you know what? You just have to keep moving forward, no matter what happens. No one has all the answers, we can only have faith it’ll all work out like it’s supposed to. If I let the fear of uncertainty take over, I’d never get out of this bed.”

He looked into her steady hazel eyes. “But you will, because Elena needs you.”

“Yes. Just like your friends need you. It’s not about having all the answers, it’s about never giving up and always doing your best to deal with what life dishes out.”

He allowed a small smile to curve his lips. “Wow. You sounded just like my Mom there for a second.”

At that, she laughed. “It’s a mystical wisdom thing that all mothers possess once they’ve had a child. It’s a level of knowledge that no man can achieve.”

“Sure it is,” he said, laughing in turn. “But… it does make sense, I’ll give you that.”

She gave his hand a squeeze and released it. “You’re gonna do fine, Nick. Just hang in there, do what you can, and don’t dwell on the things you can’t change.” She suppressed a yawn.

“Look, you need your rest,” he said as he stood. “I’ll stop by later, if that’s okay. I need to get back to the guys now.” He hesitated. “And hey, thanks,” he said in a quiet tone. “For the advice, and everything.”

“No problem. Take care, okay?”

“Yeah, you too.”

He left after she settled back down and closed her eyes.

*******

By the time he arrived back on the ICU floor, he felt ready to face whatever came. Like Jeannie had said, no one could expect him to have answers; it was a very liberating thought. All he could do was his best.

Brian was the only one in the lounge when he came through the door.

“Hi,” Nick said as he ran a hand through his hair. “Howie and AJ go?”

“Yeah, Howie started falling asleep not too long after you left,” came Brian’s reply. “Strong medicine. They’ll be back tonight, after dinner.”

“Good,” he said as he sat down.

“Where’d you go?”

“I took a walk for a bit, then I visited a friend,” Nick answered simply.

When no further explanation came, Brian raised his eyebrows in speculation. “A friend?”

“Yeah,” he said. “Bri, when you were a kid, did your mom ever tell you that it was important to succeed, to win?”

Rather than point out how odd the question was, Brian gave it some thought. “No, she never did. She always told me that the most important thing was trying, and doing my best.”

“And that it was okay not to have all the answers?”

“Yeah.”

“Huh. Maybe she’s right, it is a mom thing,” he mumbled.

“What?” Brian said, thoroughly confused.

“Never mind. Hey, how about we go kidnap Kris and make sure she eats lunch? We can tell her that Kev would be pissed if he knew she wasn’t eating.”

“Well, okay…”

“We can get one of those chef salad things down in the cafeteria, women always eat that stuff.” He shrugged; it was another mystery why women were so in love with lettuce. “We can bring it back to her. That way, she only has to be gone for a little while.” He stood and stretched.

“I guess that would work,” Brian said. “Ah, you feeling okay, Nick?”

Azure eyes looked over. “Yeah, I am. C’mon, let’s go. Kris needs us to take care of her now.”

“Right,” Brian said as he followed his younger brother out of the lounge. He didn’t understand the abrupt shift in attitude, but he wasn’t questioning it. He was only glad for the change.

*******

AJ and Howie arrived at the hospital just as evening visiting hours began. When they went to the ICU waiting lounge, Nick was there, but the person with him wasn’t Brian.

“Kris!” AJ called, surprised and happy to see her. He wasted no time crossing the floor and embracing her in a huge hug, the parcel he’d been carrying dropped without a second thought.

“Hi Aje,” she answered, giving a slight chuckle as he practically picked her up off the floor.

He released her as Howie came near.

“Hey, Kris,” he said, much more subdued than his brother. He stopped short of physical contact, unsure what to do.

She looked into his hesitant brown eyes and spoke softly. “They told me what happened,” she said. “Thank you, Howie, for what you did. They tell me your quick response might have saved his life.” She moved forward and hugged him tightly. After a second’s pause, he returned the gesture.

“I…” he began, then strengthened the embrace. “Kris, it all happened so fast, I…”

“Howie, don’t,” she said, stepping back a bit. “I see the guilt in your eyes, and it doesn’t belong there.”

Her sincerity touched him, nearly making him lose what little control of his emotions he had.

Gently she reached up and pushed back a little bit of hair, studying the ugly purple bruise there. “You didn’t escape scott-free, I see. You must be hurting, too.”

For a moment he wasn’t sure which kind of hurt she meant, then decided that it didn’t matter. “Yeah, but I’ll be fine.” He looked at her pale skin and drawn features. “You don’t look like you’ve had much chance to rest.”

“I didn’t want to leave Kevin,” she said. “But Brian wanted to visit for a while, and insisted I get a change of scenery.”

“What you really need,” AJ interjected, “is a hot shower, a change of clothes, and a decent nap.”

“Mmm… that sounds wonderful, but there’s no way I’m leaving this hospital,” she said.

He presented her with the parcel he’d dropped earlier. “Clothes, sundries, and necessaries, at your service, Ma’am,” he said in an overdone British accent.

“How did you-“

“I never reveal my methods,” he said with a dismissive gesture.

“You can take a hot shower in the Resident’s area,” Nick said. “I can take you there.”

“But-“

“Only take you a few minutes, and as soon as you’re done we can come back here. By then maybe Brian will be done his visit, okay?”

She looked at all three faces, each so full of concern. Knowing she couldn’t argue, and thinking how good a hot shower sounded, she reluctantly nodded her agreement.

*******

Twenty minutes did wonders for Kristen’s well-being; Nick could see the difference at once. She told him that although she was still tired, at least she felt clean and refreshed. He tried to talk her into catching a short nap on one of the available beds but she refused, and he let it rest. At least she had eaten dinner and gotten a shower… that was a major accomplishment in his book. Besides, she could always get catnaps in Kevin’s room if she had to.

They arrived back at the waiting lounge to find Howie dozing on the couch while AJ had a solitaire game spread out on the table.

AJ nodded his approval at the change in Kris, and the two sat down with him. They talked quietly for a while, letting Howie get some rest.

Brian came in soon afterwards, glad to see everyone there. Sighing heavily, he walked over to the small refrigerator and retrieved a bottled water.

“How’s Kevin?” AJ asked as he joined them at the table.

“His fever is getting worse,” Brian said tightly. “He was…” He stopped, his voice catching.

“What?”

“He was beginning to become delirious. They made me leave because they were going to try a new procedure.”

“Delirious!” Kris cried. “Why hasn’t the fever gone down yet? When someone gets-”

“Whoa there,” Brian said at once. “They said his fever isn’t as high as it was before the surgery, which is good. They’re working real hard on him, Kris, we all just have to have faith.”

“I want to go to his room,” she declared unhappily as she sprang to her feet. “I need to be there…”

“You need to be right here,” Brian countered. “They won’t allow anyone in there right now. They promised me that someone would come talk to us as soon as they had news. We need to let them concentrate on Kevin right now.”

She bit her lip. AJ stood up beside her and draped his arm across her shoulder.

“Come on, let’s sit where it’s more comfortable.” He steered her to the couch, sitting them both down so she was nestled between him and the still dozing Howie.

At the sudden movement, Howie groggily came awake. When he saw Kris there, he shifted a bit to give her a bit more room, but she surprised him by moving closer. When she leaned her head on his shoulder, he felt a warmth and a protectiveness come over him. Carefully he put his arm around her, drawing her closer. His features relaxed as he caught AJ’s approving nod a second later.

Brian looked over not two minutes later and couldn’t help but smile. Howie was sound asleep, with Kris in a similar state next to him. AJ had stretched his legs out and had leaned back as well, but whether he was dozing or not was a mystery because of the sunglasses hiding his eyes. He shared a look with Nick, one of amusement despite the overall situation. He gathered the cards from the table and quietly shuffled the deck, knowing it might be a long wait.

*******

Almost two hours passed before a familiar figure came into the room: Dr. Meyers. She looked incredibly tired.

“Doc?” Brian said, not able to guess at the news she might have.

“I’ve just come from Kevin’s room,” she said, loudly enough to make both AJ and Kris stir. When Kris moved, Howie woke as well.

When the doctor had their attention, she continued. “His fever spiked a while ago, and when he entered into delirium we tried a new approach.” She paused and shook her head. “He’s proven to be quite a challenge.” She glanced back up to find five anxious sets of eyes on her. “The good news is, his fever’s finally broken,” she said.

“Is he awake?”

“Can we see him?”

“Wait… if that’s the good news, what’s the bad news?”

She turned her attention to Brian, who had asked the last question. “The fever’s broken, and his temperature is slowly going down to normal, but he hasn’t shown any sign of waking yet. During his delirium, even though we restrained him, he did pull a few stitches that had to be re-sutured. His motions misaligned some of the clamps around his leg brace as well, but that’s easily fixed. Our worry now is his state of response… or, lack thereof. There are indications of a very deep unconsciousness.”

“Can’t you give him something to wake him up, now that the fever is gone? Some kind of drug or something?” Nick asked, apprehension in his voice.

“This one, he’ll have to do on his own. We can’t force him awake; it’s his body’s way of healing. Pumping him full of stimulants would be risky and dangerous.”

“Doc,” Brian said slowly, “with all that fever, and the delirium… what about brain damage?”

Kristen gasped, her face paling at the very idea.

Dr. Meyers held up a hand at once. “The EKG and CAT scans we’ve done don’t indicate any brain damage. He’s been monitored very closely. One good sign was the fact he was talking clearly during his delerium… of course the content didn’t make sense to us, but the words were succinct and the sentences had definite structure. If his temperature goes down another degree, we’ll move him out of ICU and back into his regular room.”

“But what if something happens, wouldn’t he be better off in ICU?” Kris asked, her eyes wide.

“As long as his fever is down, there’s nothing we can do but wait until he wakes up. He’s out of immediate danger, and for that, his regular room is fine.”

“Can I see him now?” she asked in a slightly calmer voice.

“Yes,” the doctor said with a nod. “I’m thinking we’ll be moving him within the hour. You can stay with him until then.”

Kristen left the room with the doctor while the others gathered close. The four Boys bowed their heads as Brian said a quick, but heartfelt, prayer of thanks.

Now, it would be up to Kevin.

*******