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Chapter One


“Kevin, no, I’m not going home, I’m alright. I’m having fun!”

“Nick, you sound drunk beyond belief, let me head down and pick you up.”

“Why the hell should I listen to you?! You’re not even in the group anymore! Fuck you!”

“Nick-”

He turned off his blackberry, muttering curses as he tucked it away in his pocket. Nick leaned against the bar for a moment, trying to block out what just happened. He didn’t care if Kevin was concerned. All he wanted to do was have fun. He didn’t have a problem. There wasn’t a reason for concern! It wasn’t like he was AJ or anything. Once AJ had gone to rehab, Nick had come under fire from all sides by his band mates, Kevin, Howie, and Brian. All of them thought he was traveling down the same addiction path as AJ.

Fuck them; I just gotta prove them wrong is all.

“What the hell does a guy gotta do to get a drink around here?” He demanded of the poor bartender, who was getting swamped with drink requests. “I shouldn't have to wait, I’m Nick fucking Carter.”

“Oh, you’re the guy who beat the shit out of Paris Hilton.” A voice in the crowd said, he could hear the sneer within the tone. Inwardly, he fumed. That’s how people saw him these days.

“Who said that?! I’ll kick your ass!”

He listened, but there was no answer, and soon enough, a drink was placed in front of him. He downed the shot immediately. It was one of many that night and there were no plans to stop any time soon. Nick felt bitter, it used to be, his name used to get him anywhere. Now, it did nothing but get crude gay jokes, or worse, jokes of abuse. He was reminded daily how far he’d fallen in the eyes of the world, and hated every minute of it.

“Fuck this.” He muttered, walking away from the bar. He smirked at a few girls he saw dancing alone. Recognition lit up in their eyes and they headed his way. Despite everything, he had no troubles being able to attract the women.

Soon, Nick lived it up in the mob of girls dancing around him at the nightclub that evening. He couldn’t even remember which club it was anymore. The night had been a completely blur. He knew he went out for a good time, some drinks with some friends. Friends who he had long since lost track of. Were his friends still there even? Well, he wasn’t sure he could call them “friends” exactly. But he knew they could all hang out whenever he called. And that was what mattered right?

Who cared if Nick had to go into the studio the next morning to finish working on their next album? They were planning on calling it Unbreakable. It felt like such a joke. They already lost a member, so they were already broken!

It wasn’t like it mattered; it wasn’t the same without Kevin. He hated him so much for quitting the group. It wasn’t fair, having him abandon them, abandon Nick like that. He still needed him around. Kevin tried to give him a book, he couldn’t remember the title. All he did was toss it under his bed, who cared what Kevin wanted anymore?

Did it matter?

What did anymore? It wasn’t like his image could get any worse in the press. He knew all about how his looks were being torn apart because of the reality show, House of Carters. What a mistake that had been. His publicist had had a field day trying to drum up anything positive. But between what aired on the show, everything Aaron was saying, his mother, and then just his appearance – not much could be done.

Not that Nick cared.

He didn’t, even if he lurked message boards only to see threads started specifically about how disgusting he was. He didn’t, even if he got several calls from Kevin, checking to see how he was doing. As for Brian, Brian had chosen Leighanne over him years ago. He didn’t care if he was worried. He had his precious Christian solo career to protect; it was why he asked to be blurred out of the reality show wasn’t it?

He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d remembered talking to his former best friend, about anything besides business. Howie would call and check in on him. Or sometimes he’d actually stop by his place. The same could be said for AJ. But Brian, the calls had become few and far between. The visits had stopped completely after the time he’d come during one of Nick’s parties, and saw things Nick hadn’t wanted him seeing. Not that it mattered; Brian had chosen to distance himself by that point anyway. He still had Howie and AJ. They just weren’t Brian. He couldn’t talk to them like he used to be able to with Brian.

It wasn’t the same, no matter how hard he tried.

Not that Nick cared. He didn't care, he couldn't care.

“Oh Nick…” One of the girls cooed, rubbing her hands along his chest as she continued to grind up against his body to the rhythmic beats resounding throughout the club. Her hair was long, thick, and dyed blonde. His typical type. He knew from experience that the leggy bottle blondes were the easiest lays he could ever ask for.

And they always had friends.

And friends meant even more fun times for Nickolas Gene Carter.

He ran his hand along her back, settling on her butt and grabbing it playfully as he pulled her closer. The free hand reached over and grabbed another shot from her friend. He downed it happily. How many drinks was that now? He had no idea. He was using her. They both knew it. He went through this pattern every month. Nick would find a girl for about a month, wine her, dine her, and sex her. He’d keep it quiet from the media, no one would no. And then the next month, he’d be bored and move on. He didn’t want to actually find someone to have a relationship with. That came with a lot of risks. A lot of potential pain that he didn’t want to deal with.

The only thing that killed him was the loneliness sometimes.

Their bodies moved together hungrily to the music. He was tempted to have her right then and there. Who cared if people watched? Their lips met eagerly, his tongue explored her mouth. He was caught up in the pleasure of the moment, the silkiness of her skin, tasting the rum on her lips. Everything else? He just couldn’t care less. That’s what he wanted, for reality to fade, even for a short while.

“I got a little place nearby…” her brunette whispered in his ear, before doing a body shot of tequila from along his neck. He shivered in response. He turned and kissed her just as passionately as he had her friend only a moment before. There were advantages to being famous, even if he was only a D-list celebrity.

Maybe this is a bad idea. He blinked at the voice, one that definitely wasn’t his own. Just because it was distinctly feminine. Nick glanced around, had anyone else heard that? When he couldn’t find the source, he shrugged. It didn’t matter.

“Sounds good to me baby.”’

Right then, everything sounded good.

****

A young woman was sitting on a couch in Nick’s hotel room. He couldn’t see her, if he could, she was sure he would’ve reacted by now. She looked to be the age of seventeen, long golden hair, bright blue eyes, and a very familiar mischievous smile. A light surrounded her in an eerie aura that wasn’t anything else a living person has ever seen. When she was alive, many lifetimes ago, she had been known as Grace Carter.

Now, technically, she could be anyone. But she chose to stick with her old form, wanting that familiarity when she did finally make herself visible to others. For now, she needed to remain unseen. Her eyes drifted over to the other side of the room, watching Nick. Grace hadn’t wanted him to end up here, even though she’d seen far enough ahead to know it would happen. She’d tried to be subtle about it, to catch his attention in ways that weren’t too interfering. That was how He wanted her to go about it at first. Subtlety, to go unnoticed as she affects the reality around her. But she’d also been warned that her new charge wasn’t one to listen.

She guessed the two of them had that in common. They were related after all.

No matter how distantly.

She rolled her eyes, seeing Nick go for another round, fresh from snorting a line of coke with that night’s flavor of the month. Actually, that night there were two flavors. Eager groupies who wasted their lives even more so than Nick did. It pained her to watch and she wanted to stop her, but this wasn’t the night. This night was to observe, to try to slyly influence. She knew what the problem was, Nick didn’t listen. And now with everything in his system, he couldn’t hear her voice at all. She glanced up at the ceiling, talking to it like someone was actually there. If anyone could actually see her, or hear her, they’d think she was crazy, she knew it.

“This isn’t going to work.”

You’ll find a way to make it work.

“Even if I break the rules.”

Silence.

She sighed. “I know, I’m supposed to find the answers myself.”

Her eyes fell on Nick and the women with him. The three were caught up on their coke induced sex high. She shook her head. She could see his soul, the way it screamed for a form of salvation. It always amazed her that no one else could see the pain thriving inside. Did Nick even know what it was to be happy? She wasn’t quite sure. What she was sure of, is that he would be worth the challenge ahead. He had so much potential, and if he wasn’t careful, he was going to lose everything. He could achieve so much, if only he got his life together.

It’s your job to get him to get it together.

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”