Chapter 23

AJ walked down the stairs groggy from the previous night’s broken sleep.  He walked into the kitchen and saw his Mom and Tony drinking a coffee.  They said good morning and he lightly waved.  He grabbed a mug from the shelf and poured a cup of coffee for himself.  As he sat down he thought about waking up and seeing her spot empty.  He rubbed his head as he felt a headache coming on.

“Has Kevin called?”

“No” Denise replied. 

“I’m going to call him.” AJ said as he got up and grabbed his home phone.  He let it ring and waited for Kevin or someone to pick up but he hoped Chelsea would see the number and answer.

“Merry Christmas.” Kevin said into the phone.

“Huh? Oh yeah Merry Christmas.” AJ replied, not very merry.  “How’s she doing?”

“Quiet, she sat down here with us this morning and watched Mason open his gifts; she’s been up stairs in her room since and that was about an hour ago.”  Kevin told him. “I asked her if she wanted to go home and spend Christmas with you but she said no.”

“She doesn’t want to see me?” AJ asked as his stomach turned. 

“I tried talking to her last night and I tried this morning but she wouldn’t say anything, she got mad at be for bugging this morning.” Kevin explained.

“I don’t understand what I did.” AJ told him as a tear dripped.

“You did nothing, we’ll find out what it is what she remembered.” Kevin replied.  “I’ll try again after lunch.”

“Alright.” AJ replied in a mono tone.  They said goodbye and AJ hung up the phone.

“Alex?” His Mom said and he turned around.  “She’ll come around.”  AJ lightly smiled at his Mom’s effort to comfort him.  “Do you want to open presents?” She asked.

“Sure” AJ sighed as he walked out of the kitchen and into his living room.

“Knock, Knock” Kevin said as he lightly knocked on Chelsea’s half open door.  He saw her sitting on the edge of the bed, her body rocked back and forth and she was sobbing.  He walked around the bed and knelt down in front of her, she was staring at her engagement ring, spinning it around her finger.  “Chels?”  He put his hands on her arms and she looked up at him, shocked like she didn’t know he was there.  “What happened, what do you remember?”  She shook her head, still crying and still rocking even though Kevin had her arms.  “Tell me Chelsea, I don’t care what it is you need to tell someone and you’ve pushed Alex away.”  When he said his friends name she started to cry harder and fell into Kevin’s arms.  Slowly Kevin wrapped his arms around his sister and held her as they sat on the floor.

“It’s too hard.” Chelsea whimpered.

“I know its hard hun but you have to tell someone, look what it’s doing to you, look what it’s done too you and Alex already.” Kevin told her still holding her.  

“I didn’t mean to push him away.” She whispered through her sobs.  “It’s just that when I look at him I see…” Chelsea paused and Kevin felt her hug him tighter.

“What do you see Chels?”

“I see her.” She spurted out before she began to cry again.

“Who?” Kevin asked, slowly he pulled her away and was able to make eye contact with her.  “What do you mean when you look at Alex you see her, her who?”  Chelsea’s breathing began to get heavy like she was starting to panic.

“I…I didn’t know.” She sobbed between breaths. “When my Dad took me, I didn’t know.” He realized the heavy breathing was her trying to calm herself so she could speak.  “I didn’t know.” She told him again her eyes etched in pain and almost a little guilt.

“You didn’t know what?” He asked her as he gently rubbed her arms.

“I was…” She stopped and looked at him.  Kevin looked at her waiting for her to finish as his mind began to put the pieces together, what she said about looking at AJ, who the she was that Chelsea was seeing.

“Oh god Chelsea.” Kevin said as it all came together.  “When did you find out?”

“I was late, then I started too get sick…I don’t know how long it was.” She stopped and closed her eyes before breaking down again.

“You said her, so you had the baby?” Kevin asked and Chelsea nodded.  “Where is…” Kevin paused.  “Where is she Chels?”

“I don’t know.” Chelsea blurted out. “I had her for a couple of days and then one night he came into my room and just took her.  When he came back and she wasn’t with him I freaked out and he just started hitting me and telling me if I survived he might tell me where she was but when I came to...”

“You didn’t remember.” Kevin said as the final piece clued in.

“I don’t know how long I was out for; I still can’t remember where we were hiding, I have no idea if she’s alive or…or…I don’t know.” Chelsea explained to him as she started crying again.  After a moment her head snapped up and she looked at her brother. “You can’t tell anyone Kevin, I don’t want to hear about how young and stupid we were, I don’t need Tim and Jerald finding out, and I couldn’t take what your Mom would think of me.”

“You need to tell AJ hun.” Kevin told her.

“I know.” She replied fighting tears.  “I just…”

“What?” Kevin asked.

“What if he wants to find her, I don’t know what happened to her and I don’t think I could take it if I found out…” She stopped. 

“I’m sure if you tell him that he’ll understand.”

“Kev, this is Alex we’re talking about.” Chelsea said as she wiped her eyes.

“Chelsea I’m sure he’ll understand.”  She took a deep breath and exhaled.  “He’s really worried about you.”  Chelsea looked at him and sighed.  “I can call him, tell him you want to talk, we’ll entertain Denise and Tony, you two can go out to my studio and talk there.”

Chelsea sat there for a minute picking at her nails; she took a deep breath and then nodded agreeing.  Kevin stood up, kissed her on the top of her head and left the room.  He walked down the hall into his bedroom and picked up the phone, dialing AJ’s number.

“Hello?” AJ said and Kevin could tell he was hoping it was Chelsea.

“Hey it’s Kev.” He replied.

“Hi” AJ said his voice dropping.

“Can you come over; you can bring your Mom and Tony.” Kevin said.  “She needs to talk to you.”

“She does?” AJ said a little stunned.

“Yeah man, I finally got it out of her and got her to talk to you about it.” Kevin said with a small sigh of victory.

“Is she ok, what happened?” AJ asked

“She’ll explain it all when you come over.” He told him. 

“Ok, ok I’ll be right there.” AJ said and then he hung up the phone.  Kevin couldn’t help but laugh to himself as he put the receiver down.  He walked back into Chelsea’s room and saw her looking out the window.  “He’s on his way.”

“Ok” She said as she looked back at him and then looked back out the window.  He stared at her for a moment and then turned around.

“Kev?” She said quickly and he turned around.  “Are you disappointed in me?”

“No Chels, not at all, maybe back then I would have been a little, only because you’re a smart girl but none of that matters now, no matter what anyone says.” Kevin told her and she took a deep breath as she turned looking back out the window.

AJ sat in Kevin’s studio, Chelsea sat next too him wiping her eyes, he was in complete shock at what she had just told him.  He ran her words over and over in his head making sure he heard her right. His whole body had gone numb and he wasn’t sure if he was breathing. 

“I didn’t mean to push you away Alex, it’s just that when everything started to sink in and I looked at you, I saw her.”  Chelsea told him and he looked at her.

“S-s-she looked like me?” He asked.

Chelsea nodded.  “She had your nose and your eyes and I’m sure she would have had your smile if…” He put his hand on her shoulder; she looked at him and then wrapped her arms under his pulling herself against him.  AJ didn’t hesitate to fold his arms around her as she started to cry again.  “I’m so sorry I couldn’t protect her.”

“No Chelsea.” AJ said as he pulled her away.  “Don’t you dare blame yourself, this was your Father’s fault all of it.” He told her as he pulled her back against him.  “I know you did all you could.”  And now it was his turn to cry, they both cried as they sat on the leather studio couch. 

“If you need time to deal with this I can stay here with Kevin.” Chelsea told him breaking the silence. 

“What I need is for you to come home with me.” AJ said as he pulled away and placed his hand on the side of her face.  “So we can deal with this together.”

“Where’s your Mom and Tony?” She asked as he wiped her eyes.

“They went to visit some friends they have out here, say hello.” He told her.

“Please don’t tell her.” Chelsea asked him and he looked at her a little confused.  “The only ones who know are us and Kevin, well I’m sure he’ll tell Kris but that’s ok.” She said.  “I don’t want Tim and Jerald finding out, I don’t want Anne finding out so the less who know the better.”

“What…what about if we look for her?” AJ asked.

“No, Alex no I can’t.” Chelsea shook her head.  “I know that’s asking a lot from you but I just can’t deal with finding out that she’s not with some family some where.”  She told him as a tear dripped from her face. 

AJ slowly nodded.  “I understand.”

“You do?” She replied.

“Yes I do.” He told her.  “Not going to lie I want to know but after everything you’ve been through I wouldn’t want to put you through that too.” The couple embraced again and held each other for a while.

“So can I take you home?” AJ asked as he slowly pulled away from her.

“Yeah” She nodded as she brushed her bangs behind her ear. 

They went back into Kevin’s and Chelsea went to get her bag from upstairs as AJ told Kevin she was going home.  He could tell Kevin wanted to say something but his Mom was there.  When Chelsea came downstairs she said goodbye to Kevin, Anne and Kristin and then left with AJ too go home.  As he pulled into the drive way he was glad to see his Mom and Tony weren’t home yet.  He met her in front of the car and wrapped his arm around her waist as they walked to the door.  They were greeted by the dogs and they jumped like crazy at Chelsea.

“Think they missed you.” AJ said with a light laugh.  Chelsea smiled as she gave the dogs some love.  “Why don’t you put your bags away while I let them out?”

“Ok” Chelsea nodded as AJ headed down the hallway with the dogs.  He opened the back door and let them out, stepping outside with them.  They took off and started running around the yard.  He threw their ball around figuring they had been by themselves for a couple of hours a good run would do them good. His mind over whelmed at the thought that he had a daughter and the thought of what happened to her, the only reason he hadn’t spazzed out yet was because his body was still numb. Opening the door AJ walked into the house and the dogs followed, they even followed him to the stairs.

“You two stay down here.” He said pointing his finger at the dogs and they sat on the floor looking at him.  AJ continued up the stairs and walked down the hall to their bedroom.  When he opened the door he saw her sitting on the edge of the bed, he walked over to her and sat down beside her.

“What’s up?” He asked as he turned and faced her, taking her hand in his.

“Still trying to take it all in.” She said as she looked at him.  “Small pieces keep coming back.” 

Wrapping his arms around the front of her and behind her, AJ pulled Chelsea against him and cradled her in his arms.  The couple sat quietly both having thoughts about their daughter.  He closed his eyes as he started to think about what Chelsea went through, alone, young, pregnant and with her Father.  He thought about what she endured during the delivery and thought it was a miracle both of them survived. 

“Hey Chelsea?” AJ said breaking the silence.  She lifted her head and looked up at him.  “Did you get to give her a name?” He asked.

“Nadia.” She told him as she looked back down and nestled into him some more.  “It’s Russian for hope.”

“Beautiful” AJ whispered as he lightly kissed the top of her head.