Chapter 24

December 25th 2008

            I have a daughter. Somewhere out there is my blood, my eyes, my nose, my smile, somewhere there is a piece of Chelsea and me but where I just don’t know.  Is it wrong to believe she’s still alive?  My Nadia, my hope, hope that Chelsea’s Father isn’t as cruel and heartless as I thought.  Did he drop her off at a police station, a hospital, someone’s door step?  He took her away from her mother, was that not enough to fuel his black heart, or did he…Why wouldn’t he, he tried to do it to Chelsea when she was a baby, when her mother carried her he tried to take her life before it even started so why would he think different about his granddaughter.  Is it wrong to believe that I got her Mother back so I’ll get her back too?  I want to know if she’s out there, if she’s happy, healthy…God she would be fourteen years old now.  I have a teenager…her life is truly just beginning at least I hope it is…Hope, that’s what Nadia means, and that’s all I have of her right now.  I understand why Chelsea doesn’t want to look for her.  I mean I know deep down inside she wants too but right now I don’t think she could handle hearing that her daughter is dead…I don’t think I could handle hearing it either as much as I want to know.  It all makes sense now though, why Chelsea clung to me the way she did when they found her, when she came home to us, she needed more than just love, she needed the connection we had, the connection only we shared because of that little baby girl..  Something in the back of her mind, deep inside her knew everything. I have a feeling I’ll be writing in here a lot more.

            Alex.

            AJ put the pen down along the inner spine of the book and sat back on the couch, laying his hand gently on Ozzie’s head.  He wiped his eyes and took a deep breath.  The floor creaked above him and then he heard his bedroom door open.  The steps moved across the hallway and started down the stairs.  The dog under his arm got up from the couch and headed into the first floor hall.  He heard her mumble something as she walked down the hall to the living room.

“Everything ok?” He asked as she walked in.

“Can’t sleep.” She replied as she sat down beside him.  “You too?” She asked nodding to his journal.

“Yeah” He said as she laid against him.  Laying his head on top of hers as she played with his fingers, his eyes drifted to the tree still lit up, presents still sitting under it.  “You wanna open presents?” Chelsea sat up and looked at him.  “I just opened the stuff from Mom and Tony this morning.”

She lightly smiled and nodded. “Ok”

The couple sat on the floor by their tree and they started trading gifts.  Chelsea bought him some new belts, a few vintage t-shirts, a couple of new hats and a new watch.

“I hope it fits ok.” Chelsea said as he fastened the strap.

“It fits great.” AJ replied with a smile as he looked the watch over as it sat in his wrist.  “It’s sweet the way the skull fades into the background like that; do you like your necklace?” He asked as he lied on his side, on the floor.

“Yes, it gorgeous.” She replied with a smile.  He smiled back as he picked up the white gold Aquamarine Birthstone Claddagh Necklace that sat around her neck.

 “I wanted to get it for you when we were in Ireland but then Jerald and Tim made you come home, so instead I ordered it for Christmas.” He told her as he let it gently fall against her chest.

“I wonder if I’m going to have anymore headaches.” Chelsea spoke up.

“We should call Doctor Anuld.” AJ said as he rested his hand on her leg.  “He might have more suggestion on someone you can talk to, help you deal with what happened and help you find the pieces that are still missing.”

“I’m so confused.” Chelsea spoke and AJ saw the agony as her eyebrows frowned.

“Well hopefully talking to a Doctor will help that.” AJ told her as he sat up.  “Until then you got me and I’m not a shrink but if you need to talk I’m here.”

“What about you?” She asked.

“Don’t worry about me.” He told her as he pulled her into his arms.  “You’re the one who went through it all; right now my concern is getting you through this, helping you to move forward.”

There was a moment of silence before Chelsea spoke.  “I hate him.” She muttered and AJ wrapped his arms around her a little tighter.

“Me too sweetheart, me too.” He sighed and then kissed her on top of the head.

The next few of days went by pretty smoothly compared to how eventful the previous days had been.  The hardest part for him was watching her, he’d walk into a room and she’d be there crying, or she spends all night tossing and turning, and was still pretty quiet.  His Mom went home so she and Tony could spend New Years with some friends in Florida. AJ told her that Chelsea had remembered some things but right now they were staying private, his Mom understood. They hadn’t really made any plans for that night, he figured they’d just go out with Kevin but now he decided they needed a night to themselves, alone, just them and no one else, no interruptions. So they thought.

“Uno I win again!” AJ cheered as he tossed down his card on the table and raised his arms in victory.

“You cheated.” Chelsea sighed.

“How do you cheat in Uno?” AJ asked with a laugh as his phone started to ring.  “I’ll get it give you a chance to fix the cards in your favor.” He told her getting up.

“Bite me Mclean.” Chelsea mumbled.

“Later!” AJ shouted from the hallway.  He walked into the kitchen and picked up the phone.  “Happy New Year now what do you want?” He answered.

“AJ its Kristin.” Kevin’s wife said into the phone.

“Hey Kris what’s up, wanna talk to Chels?” He asked.

“No, no, look…” Kristin stopped and it sharpened his attention to her.  “There’s a problem.”

“What kind of problem is Kevin ok?” He asked lowering his voice so Chelsea didn’t hear.

“Kev’s fine, well sort of, see my idiot of a husband got drunk and Jerald over heard him crying about Chelsea.”  She told him.  “Now I think he’s on his way to your house.”

“What?” AJ said as his face and voice become stone cold.

“He’s an idiot I know.” She sighed.

“I gotta go.” AJ said hanging up the phone.  He stood in the kitchen for a moment.  “Fuck, fuck.” He said to himself as he began to panic.  Calming himself or at least trying to he walked into the dinning room.

“Change of plans.” He said as he walked over to her.

“Huh?” She asked as she looked at him confused.

“Grab a sweater, we’re gonna go for a walk.” He told her as he put the cards away.

“A walk?” She asked still confused.

“Yep.” AJ said hoping she would hurry.  “Maybe down at the beach or something.”

AJ walked down the hall and grabbed his jacket as Chelsea put on her sweater.  “Alex what’s going on?”

“Nothing.” AJ replied shaking his head as he grabbed his keys.  “Just had the idea it would be nice to take a walk down at the beach or whatever.” He told her as he grabbed the knobbed and opened the door.  Quickly he hit the alarm and locked the house up as she headed to the car.  As AJ pulled out his car key the sound of someone flying down the street made his heart race.  Just as he got his door opened the car squealed to a halt and Jerald came flying out. 

“Jerald?” Chelsea said confused when she saw him get out of the car. 

“Chels get inside.” AJ told her as he quickly looked over to her.  She looked at AJ confused and then her eyes went wide.

“How did he?...” She started to say.

“Just get inside.” AJ told her.

“She’s not going anywhere.” Jerald shouted as he approached them.

“Jerald stop.” Chelsea said as she hurried around the car but she was too late. She rounded the corner of the car just as Kevin’s brother slugged AJ and he dropped to the ground.  “Jerald!!” Chelsea shouted as she shoved him.  “What the hell is wrong with you!?”

“Him, He is, I’m tired of this Chelsea.  He’s bad news and if getting you knocked up at seventeen wasn’t bad enough.”

“How?” She asked looking at Jerald confused.

“Kevin.” AJ mumbled and Chelsea turned around.  He was standing again; hand over his lip which was now bleeding.  “That was Kris on the phone, Kev got drunk and let it out I tried to get you out of here before he came.”

“Ugh” Chelsea moaned as she stood between Jerald and AJ.

“You’re nothing but a punk, you use woman, just like your Father.” Jerald snapped at him.  AJ went to lunge at Kevin’s brother but Chelsea beat him too it as her opened hand went flying across his face.

“First don’t you ever compare him to his Father!” Chelsea yelled at Jerald as both him and AJ looked at her stunned.  “He is nothing like him. Second I was there too ya know, it was just as much my fault as it was his but you know what Jerald, it’s none of your business, it’s between Alex and Me and no one else.”  She took a breath and then pointed to his car.  “Leave.”

“Chelsea he’s not good for you.”

“I said leave!” She shouted at him again louder than before.  “Leave, don’t talk to me, don’t look at me, I never want to see you again, ever!” Kevin’s brother took one last look at AJ and then grunted as he headed back to his car.  Chelsea waited until Jerald was in the car and then she turned around heading to the house.  AJ walked over and unlock the door, letting her in first and then shutting off the alarm.  He closed the door and then locked it. When he turned around Chelsea was gone but he heard her footsteps thunder up the stairs.  Closing his eyes he took a deep breath and then let it out with a sigh.

He walked upstairs and into the bathroom off of the hallway, he turned on the water and then grabbed a cloth from the towel cabinet.  He ran it under the water and then pressed it to his lip, wincing in pain at the sting.  The blood started to wash away as he stared at himself in the mirror.  He dropped the cloth into the water as he heard Jerald’s words playing back in his head. “You’re nothing but a punk, you use woman, just like your Father.”  His eyes closed as his head dropped trying to push the words out.  They opened again when he felt a hand slide over his; he turned his head and looked at Chelsea standing beside him.

“You ok?” She asked with a frown as she looked at the cut on his lip.

“Yeah” He said with a light smile.  “Kevin hits much harder than he does.”  Chelsea lightly laughed as he picked the cloth up out of the water.  “Are you?” He asked.

“Besides the ass kicking I’m giving Kevin tomorrow, I guess I’m fine.” She told him as she hopped up onto the bathroom counter.  “I don’t know why I cared so much about what he thought.”

“Cause he’s like your brother and you love him.” He touched the cloth to his lip again.  “I hate fat lips.” He sighed.

“You know it’s not true right?” Chelsea said and he looked at her unsure what she meant.  “You’re not like your Father and despite what you say you never were.”  He lightly smiled at her as he emptied the sink.

“Come on.” He said taking her hand.  “I don’t know about you but I’m ready for bed.”  AJ slung her arm over his shoulder and scooped her up in his arms.  She lightly laughed as he carried her out of the bathroom and into their bedroom, kicking the door closed with his foot behind them.