AJ sat at the kitchen island, the curtains along the big glass doors swayed as the gentle breeze outside blew in through the screen.  He took a sip of his coffee as he stared outside, his mind going back to the night before.  Nadia had fallen asleep after they had started watching the video of AJ’s first birthday after they had found Chelsea.  He woke her up and helped her to her room and after saying goodnight AJ went back downstairs and cleaned up. 

Now it was the next morning and Nadia was still sleeping when he woke up, so he came downstairs made a coffee and was soaking in the morning.  His thoughts from the night before still swirling around in his head but were interrupted by a knock on the door.  Setting down his mug he walked out of the kitchen, down the hallway and to the front door.  He looked out the peep whole and his whole body became tense and on guard when he saw Kevin and his brother Jerald on the other side.  Slowly he opened the door, only a couple of inches and looked out at them.

“What?” He asked staring right at Jerald.

“I want to see Nadia.” Jerald said not hiding his attitude.

“Well she’s sleeping.” AJ replied.  “Come back later.”

“You’ll be at the hospital later.” Kevin replied. 

“Exactly, come back later.” AJ said as he went to close the door but it was stopped.

“Man, don’t start shit.” He heard Kevin say as he looked out the opening of the door and saw Jerald stopping it from closing.

“I want to see Nadia.” Jerald replied.

“And I told you no.” AJ snapped.

“She’s family I have the right to see her.” Jerald replied with anger.

“And I’m her Father and I’m saying no.” AJ snapped back.

“Alex” Kevin sighed.

“No, he comes up here every fucking time starting stupid drama shit, he can’t just except things the way they are, he can’t except the fact that Chelsea is happy, and I’m not going to have him start shit with Nadia!” AJ snapped again.

“You can’t even take care of yourself how the hell you going to take care of a fourteen year old girl.” Jerald yelled.  “What is that girl going to do when you decide to go out drinking again, when you decide life is getting to damn hard!”

“Fuck off Jerald.” AJ mumbled.

“Yeah, yeah truth hurts doesn’t it Mclean.” Jerald scoffed back.  “Let me guess it’s different this time? Different like it was when we found Chelsea, you said then you would never hurt her and you did…”

“One fucking time, one fucking time I fell from the wagon!” AJ snapped as he opened the door wider.  “You don’t’ know me, you don’t know what we’ve been through, fuck Jerald you don’t even know Chelsea anymore because you’re so blinded with your hatred of me you can’t see past your god damn nose!” AJ yelled. “You weren’t there to console her when you would show up, attack me, attack her and then leave.  You weren’t here to see her cry because someone she saw as a brother made her life, her wedding planning, or anything good that happened in her life a living hell because they weren’t happy with the way shit turned out.”

“Alex” Kevin said quietly.

“No fuck, I’m not done.” AJ snapped quickly.  “I’m sorry I’m not as saint like as you, I’m sorry I never had a Dad who gave a shit about me, I’m sorry I hurt Chelsea when I started drinking again, I’m sorry I wasted all those weeks going out to bars and hotels when I could have been at home with her but the only one I need to apologize to is Chelsea, not Tim, not Kevin and certainly not you!!” AJ yelled.  “I lo…”

Kevin interrupted him. “Alex.” He said again but AJ didn’t flinch.

“No, let me say what I have to fucking say, he can show up at my house and attack me, he can show up at the hospital and attack me but I can’t say shit to him.” AJ snapped at Kevin and then looked back at Jerald.  “I love Chelsea with everything I am, I loved her when we were sixteen/seventeen and I love her just as much even more now! And I love that girl upstairs more than you will ever know, she is so much her Mother as she is me and I will protect her with every last breath I have.  You have no right to her especially after all the shit you put Chelsea through, a woman who is supposed to be a sister to you.  Until you show me that you can keep your hate for me, your fucking attitude in check and act civil around me, don’t ever come knocking on my fucking door again!” AJ yelled and slammed the door close.

“God damn fucking people always trying to tell me how to live my fucking life.” AJ snapped as he spun around and then stopped dead.  “Nadia.” He choked out as he saw her standing at the bottom of the stairs.  She stared at him for a minute and then took off back up the stairs.  “Nadia wait!” AJ shouted after her as he flew up the stairs, skipping steps trying to get to her quicker.  But as he reached the top of the stairs her saw her door slam shut.  He walked over to it and knocked.

“Nadia?” He called through the door.

“Go away!” Nadia shot back from behind the door.

“I’m sorry if I upset you, it’s just Jerald…”

Nadia interrupted him.  “GO AWAY!!” She screamed and AJ closed his eyes resting his head against the door.  He stood there for a moment angry at himself and angry at Jerald.  When the door didn’t open he sighed and walked down the hall to his bedroom.

Flopping his body down onto the side of the bed he grunted with anger and frustration, he looked up as he took a deep breath and then he eyes fell to the bathroom door.  His eyes etched in pain as he heard the echo of him shouting at Chelsea to open her eyes, then everything from that day came rushing back and he broke down as he looked away.  Putting his head in his hands he started to cry.  Keeping it together for Nadia was hard and he thought watching the video’s last night would help but he wondered if it made it worse.  Wanting to hold her, wanting to hear her laugh again, feel her lips against his again, and see her blue eyes looking back at him.  He could feel someone watching him, looking at him, he knew it was Nadia but he was to upset to even look at her right now. 

“I’m sorry” Nadia’s voice spoke up.  “I’m not really good with confrontation and yelling and all that stuff.  I like shut down and just don’t wanna deal with it.”

He wiped his eyes on his sleeve and sniffed with a light smile.  “Just like Chelsea.” AJ choked out.

“Yeah, after seeing that I kind of figured.” Nadia said as she walked over to him and sat beside him.

“I got a wee bit of a temper.” AJ replied as he started to calm down.

“Are you still drinking?” Nadia asked.

AJ answered her quickly and truthfully. “No, no I haven’t touched anything in weeks.  Jerald always throws that in my face, even if I hadn’t fallen off the wagon he’d still bring up my drinking years ago.”

“I guess it was bad huh?” Nadia said.

“Yeah, it’s kind of why I worry about you so much; I know what it’s like trying to find yourself when you’re young like that, wanting to know who you are and everything.  I can’t imagine what you’re going through finding out the person you thought was your parent isn’t.”

“Sometimes it’s confusing but I’m trying to look at the up side.” Nadia said and AJ looked at her. She spoke again with a shrug. “Like I said Helen and I never seemed to click, I thought it was me, maybe I did something wrong, maybe I wasn’t what she had wanted, wasn’t the daughter she wanted.  But now I know why we didn’t click and I have a chance to find out who I am, who I really am.  Like last night finding out I’m a klutz because of you.”

AJ lightly laughed.  “And your smarts you get that from Chelsea.”

“And you’ve made it easier.” Nadia said, it shocked AJ and he looked at her.  “You have.” She said with a nod.  “Not treating me like I’m some fragile china doll or getting all over protective of me, smothering me.”

“I’m glad you’ve given me a chance to be in your life, I want to be your Dad, I know Chelsea wants to your Mom, get the chance that was taken away from us.” AJ told her.

“Yeah” Nadia nodded.  “When they first told me that Helen wasn’t my Mom I thought you two had just given me up, like not wanted me but then I heard the whole story and talked to you and heard about Chelsea and everything she had been through.  I realized you guys did want me and after thinking my Mother…well Helen didn’t want me in the first place, that feels good.”

AJ smiled at her and then took a deep breath.  “Well did you wanna grab some breakfast and then go see Chelsea.”

“Yeah” Nadia nodded.

AJ stood up with Nadia and walked her to the door as he made sure his eyes were finally dry.  Then something happened that shook his world of a split second, Nadia turned around and hugged him, her arms wrapped around his waist and her head rested against his lower chest.  At first he hesitated and then wrapped his arms around her.  When she let go he watched her walk down the hall into her room, the door closing behind her. Slowly a small smile crept across his face. That felt good.