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“Mommy, you look like a princess…” Jackson was running around my room chasing our cat as I got ready for a night on the town.  Not just a night, the night.  The last two weeks had flown by and tonight was the first time I was going to see Nick in over eight years.

 

"Thanks, little man,” I laughed as Giovanni put the finishing touches on my hair.  I wasn’t wearing it wavy as I had years ago.  My long, auburn hair was cut into long, flowing layers.  I had finally gotten it to the length I wanted.  Giovanni was the head stylist for all my shows – I trusted him implicitly and he knew how important tonight was.

 

“You look amazing if I don’t say myself,” he laughed as he ran shine oil through my hair one last time.  “Chrissy did an excellent job with your makeup as well.”  She had smoked up my eyes and grazed a hint of pale pink lipgloss over my lips.  I was wearing a tight, black off-the-shoulder tube dress with a rhinestone choker and earrings.  Black, thigh boots completed the look.  I ran my hands through my hair one last time and looked at myself in the mirror.  I hadn’t dressed like this in years.  It was actually kind of refreshing. 

 

I heard my cell ring and knew it was Lila, I picked up and could tell she was already at the club. 

 

“The concert should be over right about now,” she said.  I sent a limo for you, it should be downstairs right now.  “Are you ready for this?”

 

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” I said shakily.  The butterflies in my stomach belied my words.  “I have to be…”

 

“Well, I’ve told you for years, it’s about time he should know about Jackson,” Lila informed me.

 

“Mmmmmmm, don’t worry Li, everything will work out as it should, I’ll see you in a few – I can come in the back, right?” I asked her again.

 

“Yeah, come in the back – Nick and Howie are making their entrance through the front – so he won’t see you until you’re ready.  From what I understand they’re going to do a warm up with the crowd, Nick’s going to DJ and maybe sing a song or two off his new solo stuff, other than that – they’re just going to hang out.”

 

“Okay, sounds good…I’ll be there in about half an hour,” I hung up.  As I walked through my apartment I stopped quickly in my office to look at a few things.  My desk calendar caught my eye and I quickly counted again as I had been counting over and over the last couple of  days. 

 

I smiled softly to myself.  The stars were aligning.  One last glance in the mirror, final instructions to Meg for the evening and I was downstairs getting in the limo.  As we drove downtown to the club, I allowed myself to relax and take in the sites of my beloved city.  I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. 

 

I instructed the driver to pull up to the back.  I could see that there was a small red carpet out in front and a crowd anticipating the arrival of Nick and Howie.  I had walked enough red carpets over the last couple of years – I wasn’t missing anything.  I walked in through the back and familiarized myself with the club.  Lila quickly walked up to me and handed me my pass.  She had a headpiece on and was barking instructions at someone.  I could tell she was in work mode.

 

“There’s a roped off area off to the side, you can sit back there.  Anything you want or need is on the house, I’ll try to find you in a little while once I get the guys in and the show rolling.” She said as I made my way over to the small VIP area.  There were several fans in there that had probably paid a lot of money to be there.  I walked over to the table in the far corner, in the shadows and sat down.  I drew a couple of curious looks, probably because I was by myself – but I didn’t care.  I was glad no one had recognized me.  A waitress came over and took my drink order.  It was obvious she had already been told my tab was on the house.  I had already had a couple of glasses of wine at the house.  I knew I would need something to calm my nerves.  I ordered a vodka and cranberry and sat back to wait.

 

As the waitress was bringing over my drink, I heard the music ramp up and the crowd start to go wild.   They were here.  My heart began to race and my hands began to shake.  I took the glass from the waitress, chucked the little cocktail straw out of my drink and threw it back, taking it down in three gulps.  Classy, I thought to myself.  I set it down on the table and motioned the waitress for another one.  “Get ahold of yourself, Whitney,” I thought to myself. 

 

One of the girls in front of me started to scream.  “There they are!!!” she yelled as her and her friends jumped up and down in excitement.  I looked up and there was Nick, followed by Howie – and a very, very tall brunette.  “That’s Howie’s wife…” I thought to myself, but any hopes of that were dashed when Nick leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the lips.  “Oh my God…” I thought to myself.  In all of my plans, all of my plotting – I hadn’t thought to factor in another woman.  How could I have been so stupid?  This was Nick after all. 

 

Nick and Howie moved up to the second floor DJ booth and began working the crowd.  I took the moment to stare at him from the shadows – momentarily forgetting my other problem.  After all these  years, he still took my breath away.  When I had left him in that driveway – I hadn’t realized it then, but I was leaving a boy.  He had turned into an amazingly, beautiful man.  His features which eight years ago were considered striking had been refined and sculpted over the years.  The years had been good to him.

 

“You ready for this…” Lila slid into the seat next to me.

 

I turned to her, “are you kidding? He’s here with another woman.  I hadn’t even thought about that.” I said to Lila as the waitress set my third cranberry and vodka down on the table.  Liquid courage.  “There’s no way I’m getting close to him.” I said running my fingers through my hair.  Nick was now spinning Everybody on the floor and the girls were going crazy.  I looked around but didn’t see the woman that Nick was with. She must be up in the booth with him. There was no way this was ever going to work.

 

“I’ve got you covered,” Lila said interrupting my thoughts.  She grabbed my hand.  “I just met her, she’s pretty uppity and I think she likes the fact that she’s here with Nick – I’m going to distract her once Nick gets off the DJ table.  There’s a small room behind the DJ booth upstairs.  Go wait behind the stairs and I’m going to go talk to Nick and her.  I’m going to bring her downstairs and when you see him head into that room, follow him….” She led me towards the back stairs leading up to the DJ booth.  Music was pounding in my ears, the strobe lights flashing around the room somehow calmed my senses.  I felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest.

 

I watched from downstairs as I saw Lila go in the booth.  She went up and whispered in Nick’s ear for about thirty seconds.  I could see him nodding and talking back to her in an intense conversation.  She patted his arm and moved over to the girl.  I sunk back in the shadows as I saw her walking back down the stairs with the brunette.

 

“There are a tons of fans that want to meet Nick Carter’s girlfriend,” I could hear her explaining.  Do you think you could take a few minutes to do some pictures with them?” She looked over towards me and mouthed the word “GO!!!”. 

 

I quickly ran up the stairs just as I saw Nick walk out of the DJ booth and down the short hallway.  He had his cell phone up to his ear.  He walked into the small room that Lila was talking about.  I saw him try to flip on the light, but it didn’t work. He walked over to the small window  - the only light coming into the room.  “Hey man, the promoter said you had an urgent issue about our appearance in the morning and that I need to call you – nice that you’re not answering…” He said.  I saw him shut his phone off and continue staring out the window.  Probably enjoying one of his first moments of quiet of the day.

 

He still hadn’t heard me as I stood silently watching him in the pale glow from the window.  I wasn’t even sure I was going to be able to find my voice.  I stepped towards him, his back still turned to me.

 

“Nick….” I said softly as he turned around, instant recognition registering on his shocked face.

 

“Whitney….,” he whispered hoarsely – his eyes filling with tears.

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