I rolled over and covered my eyes, shielding them from the bright sunlight as someone very rudely pulled my blinds open.  My head was pounding, my mouth was dry and I felt like total shit.  Bits and pieces of the night started flooding back and I tried to process everything.  Was it a dream?  Some of it?  All of it?  Did I really see Nick?  Did I really do what I think I did….

"You’re lucky you have a fabulous nanny,” I heard Lila say as I looked over at her.  She was already perfectly put together wearing a black pencil skirt and pink button down shirt.  I put my head in my hands.

“Please remind me why I told the doorman downstairs you could come in at any time.” I said rubbing my eyes and trying to get my bearings.  I knew I shouldn’t have been annoyed with her, but I was.  If I woke up, I had to deal with the ramifications of what had happened the night before.  Plus, I hadn’t been hungover like this since college.  I needed to brush my teeth.

“Three words, Whitney…what, the, fuck?” she asked sitting down on the bed.  “I have been trying to call you all night.  You ran out, Nick never did end up doing any solo songs – he stormed out after you left with whoever that chick was barking at him, and poor Howie – I don’t think he knew what the hell was going on.”  That brought a half smile to my face.   Poor Howie, some things never change.

I ran my fingers through my hair and looked over at her.  “Oh, Lila…I don’t even know where to start…” I said getting out of bed.  I pulled a pair of yoga pants on over my underwear and left my lace tank top on.  I pulled my hair up in a loose bun.  I heard a knock on the door and Meg poked her head in. 

“Thought you could use some coffee,” she said smiling, bringing a tray in for me.

“What would I do without you?” I smiled at her.  “At least she loves me…” I said pointedly to Lila.  “Jackson get off to school okay?” I asked Meg who nodded and left Lila and me to finish our discussion. 

“I need to cancel some meetings today…” I began to say to Lila.  I was in no shape to do anything today.

“What’s this?” Lila asked picking up the baby blanket I had slept with the night before.  I grabbed it from her and held it to my chest.  I collapsed over sideways on the bed.  She knew exactly what it was.

“Girl…I don’t even know where to start…” I said trying to figure out how much I really wanted to tell her.  She knew me too well, though.  She’d get it out of me eventually. 

“How about you start from where I took Miss Thing downstairs…” she suggested.

“I guess I was pretty hammered by that point.  I went up the stairs and from what I could gather, you had told Nick he needed to call someone because he had left the DJ booth to go into the room right behind it.” Lila nodded, I continued.  “He was pretty surprised to see me, I’m not even sure he knew what to say – it was pretty emotional.” My heart started beating really fast, reliving the evening before.  The first kiss in over eight years, feeling him so  close to me, being with him again – mind, body and soul.  “I….I got so caught up in it Li, we both did – everything came flooding back – the feelings for him – it was like the last eight years never even existed.  All I wanted was for him to hold me – I couldn’t get enough of him…” My eyes started to mist over.  I could feel a good cry coming on, I tried to catch my breath.  Lila’s expression softened somewhat.  She remembered how much Nick had meant to me.

“So what happened?  Why did everyone freak out and run?  Did you tell him about Jackson?” I shook my head. 

“I was just getting ready to when she walked in…” I began.

“Why should that have stopped you?” Lila asked growing annoyed again.  “I can’t believe after all the planning, orchestrating, everything I did so you could see him…and you don’t even do what you needed to do.”

“LILA….” I said raising my voice.  We never fought, you could tell she was taken aback.  “If you would shut it for a second and listen to me…I could tell you.  The reason I didn’t get a chance to tell him was because his girlfriend walked in just as we got done having sex….”  Lila’s mouth hung open.  “It just happened.  I couldn’t have stopped it if I had wanted to – and to be honest, I didn’t.  But now…I feel like I did all over again all those years ago.  He’s with someone else now – I don’t know how serious it is, we didn’t talk about it – I don’t even know if I would ever even want to start something with him again…” I was rambling. I put my head in my hands, the silence in the room so thick you could cut it with a knife.

After a few minutes, Lila looked over at me.  “You still need to tell him, Whitney…he needs to know about Jackson – he may be able to help…” she said softly.  “They’re still in town, Whitney – go to him.  From what you’re saying, he still loves you.  HE NEEDS TO KNOW.”  Lila had thought from day one that I should tell Nick.  Over the years, she understood why I had never told him – and she always supported my decision unwaveringly.  But I knew how she really felt.  “If you don’t tell him, Whitney – I might…”

“He may not need to know, Lila….”  I said interrupting her.  “If my calculations are correct, I may be pregnant with Jackson’s sister or brother…”