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It had been two weeks since I told Nick about Jackson and the baby in Toronto.  I had tried to call him several times, but no answer.  No texts, no emails, nothing.  I hadn’t heard a word.  To be honest, I didn’t know what to think.  I really couldn’t believe that he would just go on like normal.  I had really thought I’d hear something from him by now.

 

Donnie had called a few times and we’d had some brief conversations.   He was fun and easy to talk to.  He made me laugh.  I was fully aware of all the drama in my own life so I didn’t have any unrealistic expectations.  He was becoming a good friend.  I wasn’t sure if that’s what he thought, though.   I hadn’t offered any information about my relationship with Nick, and he hadn’t said anything.    That led me to believe that whatever Nick was thinking or feeling, he was keeping it within his inner circle, whoever that was now.

He was coming back into town that night and wanted to meet for dinner.  We agreed to meet at a quiet deli around the corner from my penthouse.  I wasn’t dressing to impress, so I had put on an ivory, cotton long sleeved t-shirt and a pair of comfortable jeans.  My stomach was starting to tighten up a tiny bit, but I wasn’t showing at all.  I could tell while putting on my jeans, however, that I would be showing a lot sooner than I had with Jackson.  I threw on old pair of leather boots, kissed Jackson goodnight and made my way to the restaurant. 

I walked in and was shown to the back corner by the host.  I could see Donnie sitting at the table fiddling around on his cell phone.  Twittering no doubt, I laughed to myself.  It really was good to see him.  I didn’t go out much, unless I had functions to go to.  Lila was like a sister to me, but she knew so much about me, sometimes it was nice to just go out with another adult and have a quiet evening.

 

“Hey gorgeous!” Donnie said standing as I walked up.  He pulled me in for a hug and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.

 

“Hi,  yourself!” I smiled as I took off my jacket and sat down.  “It’s nice to see you…how’s everything going?”  I ordered a glass of water, Donnie already had a beer in front of him.

 

“Sure you don’t want anything to drink?” he asked as the waitress walked away.

 

“Nah, I’m fine…” I said smoothing down my hair.  It was below 30 degrees outside, a cool, crisp New York night.  The waitress returned with my water and we ordered our dinner.

 

Donnie began telling me about the tour.  It did seem that all of the guys really got along.  They were selling out a ton of shows.  I was really happy for both the groups.  Donnie started talking about some of the pranks they had pulled on each other.  Most of them involved interrupting each others songs wearing slightly inappropriate clothing.  I thought back to the pranks they had pulled on the tour I had been on and laughed.

 

“It’s been so much fun,” Donnie was saying.  “I had my boys out for a couple days.  My youngest, Elijah, he just had so much fun.  All of the guys have their families with them.  Even Joe’s family – his wife JUST had a baby.  AJ’s fiancée has been there off and on.  I tell you, those two are like twins.  I mean – I’ve never seen two people more made for each other than Rochelle and AJ.  Brian’s wife Leighanne, she took a little getting used to – but I really think she means well.  Then there’s Nick and Lauren…” My ears perked up.  “That kid, I never thought he’d settle down – still not sure he’s going to.  They are off and on all the time.  One minute, she’s threatening to run back to Daddy in LA, the next minute they are happy as clams – I just don’t get it.  I’ll tell you one thing, though…she sticks to him like stink on shit…” Donnie looked over at me.  Imust have looked like I zoned out.  I was trying to let everything sink in.  “Hey…I’m sorry, I’m totally monopolizing the conversation,” he smiled that killer smile at me and winked. 

 

The waitress had put our food down in front of us and I had started to pick at my sandwich.  I looked up at Donnie and smiled shyly.  “Listen, Donnie – I’ve really enjoyed talking to you the last couple of weeks.  You’ve become a pretty good friend, but before this goes any further I really need to be honest with you about something, and I’m not quite sure how you’re going to take it.”  Donnie’s eyes darkened a bit.  He placed his napkin down on the table and looked at me intently.  “I guess you could say I’m guilty of lying by omission.  That day on the plane you asked what I was doing.  I didn’t know you.  There was no way I could tell you what I was really there for, but I can tell you now – I ended up in the same place as you.  I was going to see Nick.” I said, leaning back and crossing my arms.

"Go on,” Donnie said quietly.

I  started telling Donnie the whole story.  How Nick and I had met, the beginning of our relationship, he listened closely, cringing when I got  to the part about Paris.  “What a dipshit…” he began.

I silenced him by continuing.  “Here’s where it gets bad, Donnie.” I said lowering my voice.  I was sitting in a restaurant with Donnie Wahlberg.  It didn’t look like anyone was around, but you never know in New York City.  The walls have ears. 

 

“When I got back from New York, I was devastated.  I literally crawled in bed for two weeks and didn’t come out.  Finally, my friend dragged me to the doctor because I was so pale, I had been throwing up even though I wasn’t eating and I just all around looked like shit.  Turned out I was pregnant….”

 

“Damn…” was the only thing Donnie could utter.

 

“I’m sure you remember how high profile that whole thing was.  Nick was a mess, he was on who knows what drugs, out all night, drinking.  His family had imploded.  Then he did that ridiculous reality show…all I wanted to do was keep my head above water.  Just be the best mother I could, while I was getting my career going.  It was all I could do to keep functioning.  I didn’t want to throw having to deal with Nick in the mix.  I had no idea what I was going to get with him…” I rationalized.

 

Donnie nodded.  “I see why you did it.  Then Jackson got sick?”

 

I let out a deep sigh.  “Yes, I should have called him then.  But I was dealing with so much.  I know that’s not an excuse, but really?  How was that conversation going to go?  Hi Nick, long time no talk – but guess what, congratulations – you’re a daddy!  Oh, and by the way – he’s got a life threatening illness.  Getting Jackson better was and still is my number one

priority.” I said firmly.

 

“Look Whitney,” Donnie said reaching out for my hand.  “You had to do what you had to do…”

 

“There’s more, Donnie…” I said interrupting him.  “When you guys were here for the show at the Garden, I went to the afterparty.  I wanted to tell him, I wanted to see if there was anything we could do together to help Jackson.   We….we ended up in a room together, all alone, and...”.  Recognition slowly spread across Donnie’s face.

 

“Does he know?” he asked quietly.

 

I nodded.  “He knows everything now.”

 

“And?” Donnie responded.

 

“He walked out on me in Toronto and I haven’t heard from him since.” I explained.  “I don’t blame him, I can’t even imagine having something like that laid on me…”

 

“That explains his mood the last couple of weeks…” Donnie stated.

 

“Look, Donnie – I completely understand if you don’t want to talk anymore.  Maybe now you understand why I said it probably wasn’t a good thing to talk to me…”

 

His look silenced me.  “Whitney, I really like you – I’m here for you as a friend. 

My lips are sealed.  I won’t say anything to Carter about what I know.  When he’s ready to talk, I’ll act like I haven’t heard a word.  I also understand the discretion here.  The last thing either of you needs is for this to get out in the rags…”

 

I nodded.  We had finished eating and Donnie had paid the bill.  “Can I walk you back to your place?” He asked.  I nodded.  He helped me put my jacket on. 

 

We walked the half block back to my place.  While the doorman was hailing a cab for Donnie, he pulled me into a gentle hug.  “Take care of yourself, Whitney – I’m going to be checking up on you.  Anything you need, let me know.  If you need to talk, yell, scream, cry – just call me.  Remember, what’s meant to be, is meant to be.”

 

“I will,” I smiled at him.  “Thanks for being a friend.”  He winked at me and got in the cab and drove off.  I made my way upstairs and got ready for bed.  The stress of the last few weeks had really taken a toll, but I slept better that night than I had in a long time.  Just getting everything off my chest was a huge relief. 

 

The next morning, I woke up early, got Jackson ready and walked him to school.  It was starting off to be a great day and I was really motivated to get into the studio and draw.  I walked in the front door, and waved at the receptionist.

 

“Hey, Chelsea – I’m going to go into design mode, please hold all my calls,” I smiled at her as I walked by.  She nodded.  I got into my office, grabbed my design book and started sketching.  I must have been drawing intently because I didn’t even hear the phone buzz.  A knock came at the door and I stood up.

“Chelsea, I thought I…” she stood there with a serious look on her face.

 

“Whitney, I’m so sorry…I tried to tell this man to come back later, but he insisted he see you…” she started to say before she was interrupted.

 

“Whitney Raine?” the serious looking man in the suit asked.  I nodded.  He handed me a large manila envelope.  “Consider yourself served.” He said before turning on his heel and walking away.

 

My stomach turned as I took the envelope.  I was hoping upon hope that this was business related, but deep down I knew before I even opened the envelope.  “Damn you, Nick…” I thought to myself as I began to read the documents.  He was suing me for joint custody and visitation of Jackson.

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