As we made our way through morning rush hour traffic, another wave of nausea hit me. I reached in my purse for a peppermint. The only saving grace I had in the last two weeks since morning sickness had hit full strength. Well, all day sickness. This morning, however, I wasn’t sure if it was that or the fact that I would be facing Nick for the first time since I had told him in Canada that he was Jackson’s father.
“Just breathe,” the woman sitting beside me in the car uttered. “Everything will work out.” Melanie said. Once I had gotten the custody papers from Nick, I had immediately called my business attorney who told me that he was completely unequipped to handle custody matters. He had, however, passed me along to one of his friends who was apparently one of the best, albeit most expensive family law attorney’s in New York City. Nick had apparently found the other one, and we were on the way to his lawyers office to hopefully mediate an arrangement. Both of our attorney’s were sensitive to the fact that we did not want this to play out in the press. Neither one of us wanted a huge court battle so we had agreed to attempt mediation with a retired judge who would help us come to an agreement. I did not want to keep Nick from seeing Jackson – I wouldn’t have told him if I did. But I did want the transition to be smooth and I wanted us to be able to work together to ease him into it.
I knew it would be a big adjustment for me as well, since I had never had to “share” my child with anyone and every time I thought about, I got sick to my stomach. I wanted it for Jackson though – he needed his dad. We pulled up to a large, steel and glass building in downtown Manhattan. The driver opened the door for us and helped me out. As I stepped on to the curb, I saw Nick walking in to the building with Lauren at his side.
I looked over at Melanie “there he is,” I said pointing that way. “He has his girlfriend with him, will she be involved with this as well? I thought this was between us?” I didn’t need any further complications at this point.
“No, I’ll discuss with James and Judge Howell, but it will just be the two of you in there to discuss the matters, because we are dealing with a minor, everything will be sealed.” I nodded. The cool, crisp New York air fluttered through my hair. I took a moment to breath in and exhale, not sure where my emotions would take me once I was inside. As we stepped in to the lobby, I saw one of the elevator doors shutting with Nick and Lauren inside and sighed with relief.
We got in to our own elevator and Melanie turned to me. “Now remember what I said, Whitney, let me do the talking. Nick’s attorney may try and ask you questions directly, but for the most part, don’t respond. I’ll let you know when you can respond. Judge Powell is a very fair man, and he will make his decision in the best interests of Jackson. I’m pretty sure he already has in mind what he’s going to do based on what he’s read from our briefs.”
I nodded. “I trust you, Mel. I just don’t want him to think that I want to keep Jack away from Nick – I just want Nick to be aware of the issues surrounding his health…” Mel stopped me.
“I’m on it,” she said. “I’ve already submitted a statement from Dr. Glassman. He’s more than willing to meet with Nick and discuss his medical issues.”
The door to the elevator opened right into the lobby of Nick’s attorney’s law firm. I saw a rather large receptionist desk with Nick standing off to the side of it, Lauren clinging to his arm. I looked away so as not to make eye contact. I still hadn’t spoken to him since that day in Toronto. The receptionist must have already called for Nick’s attorney because a tall, distinguished looking man came out from the door behind her desk. I saw him greet Nick with a handshake and turn towards Melanie.
“Mel…” he said extending his hand. “Always a pleasure,” she returned the handshake and took me by the arm. “James…my client, Whitney Raine,” he shook my hand as well. “So are we ready? Judge Powell is already in the conference room. Would anyone like any coffee?” he asked kindly. I shook my head.
“James,” Mel said looking at him pointedly and nodding toward Nick and Lauren. They seemed to exchange a non-verbal understanding. I saw him walk over and speak to Nick quietly. Nick nodded and whatever was said, Lauren did not like it. She turned on her heel and stalked out to the elevator. Nick ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. Before we made eye contact I turned an followed Melanie back to the conference room.
We walked in and there was a kind looking older gentleman sitting at the head of the conference table. I felt at ease immediately, although I was still nervous. I sat down in one of the large, leather executive chairs next to Melanie. I could tell by the pile of papers, that Nick and his lawyer were sitting directly across from us. They seemed to be having a last minute discussion out in the hallway. He came in and sat down across from me. For the first time, I made eye contact with him. The sadness in mine, reflecting in his. He was wearing a dark, navy suit and a red silk tie. Even after all of this, the man still took my breath away. I nervously shifted in my chair and faced Judge Powell who had begun shuffling some papers.
“Good morning, everyone…” he began. Melanie pushed her chair back so that she could turn to talk to me, but pay attention to Judge Powell at the same time. “I’ve taken some time to read over the briefs prepared by both lawyers. I do understand, based on both of your careers, that discretion is of the utmost importance here, and I want to stress s to both of you that as long as I am involved in this matter, I will not tolerate any leaks to the press on this. I want you both to agree before we move forward that the most important matter here is the well-being of your little boy.” Nick and I both silently nodded. Tears began to form in my eye and I blinked them away. Mel handed me a tissue from the box that had been set out.
Judge Powell continued. “I’ve read the history here, and I want to set some ground rules as we talk today. I don’t want anyone to bring up the past. We are all going to agree that we are going to move forward from this point on, and develop a cohesive support system for this child…” he looked at both of us as we again nodded. In some ways I felt like I was being scolded, however, I probably deserved it a little.
“Melanie, would you like to start – I see that you sent the offer over to Mr. Carter’s attorney – you can set out what you are proposing and we can begin mediating it from there…” he motioned to her to begin.
“Certainly, Judge Powell,” Melanie started. She handed out copies of the proposal. “The first thing I want to make clear is that Ms. Raine in no way wants to prevent Mr. Carter from seeing the child. However, as we discussed in the brief there are several issues which need to be addressed before the child is permitted to visit with him. The child has not been told that Mr. Carter is his father. Ms. Raine would like both her and Mr. Carter to discuss this with him, in his own home and ease him in to this transition. Second, the child has a very serious illness, and Ms. Raine is requesting that Mr. Carter meet with Jackson’s doctor to discuss his medical history and what he should expect, what the child can do and what he can’t do before the child goes with him for visitation. Finally, until the child is familiar with Mr. Carter, Ms. Raine would like to request that Mr. Carter allow Jackson’s nanny to accompany him – who has already agreed, to ease the transition. Ms. Raine understands that Mr. Carter has a hectic schedule so she’s agreed to be flexible with visitation when Mr. Carter comes in to town provided he has an appropriate place to keep the child. That’s all I have…” Nick glanced over at me with a surprised look on his face.
At that moment an intense wave of nausea hit me. I looked at Melanie, and motioned that I had to leave. I stood up with my hand over my mouth making my way quickly out the door. I saw Nick stand, but his lawyer put his hand on his arm. The receptionist quickly pointed to the bathroom and I went in and promptly threw up. I leaned up against the stall for a second trying to settle myself down. I finally made my way out and ran some cold water in the sink, splashing a little on my face. I went to walk out of the restroom and saw Lauren sitting in a chair in the reception area. She looked over at me and sadly shook her head. I didn’t envy her position in this at all. The receptionist held up a glass of what appeared to be ginger ale. “Honey, this will help you – it helped me tremendously when I was pregnant – she winked at me. I heard Lauren gasp as I turned around, seeing her raise her hand to her mouth. I closed my eyes and winced. Nick had obviously not informed her of this. How the receptionist knew, I had no idea – unless had typed up the briefs. I walked back in to the conference room and sat down. I had no idea what to say to Nick and if I should even warn him of the shit storm he’d be walking into when he got back outside. She’d find out eventually, I rationalized.
“Are you okay, Ms. Raine?” Judge Powell inquired as I nodded my head. “Very well…does Mr. Carter have any objections to what they are proposing?”
Nick’s lawyer leaned forward and began. “Your honor, we feel the offer is reasonable. Mr. Carter is willing to work with Ms. Raine and he agrees they should tell the child together. He would like to be able to take the child to either Nashville or Los Angeles at some point for an extended vacation…”
Melanie interrupted him. “Judge Powell, at this time – my client will only agree to Nashville and only if the doctor clears him for travel. We’d also like Mr. Carter to discuss with Dr. Glassman what medical facilities are available in that area should the child need immediate treatment.”
“Mr. Carter has already spoken to doctor’s at St. Jude’s in Memphis who have agreed to work with Dr. Glassman should the need arrive.” I looked over at Nick in shock. He’d really researched this. I felt relief wash over me.
“I’ll draw up the agreement for your review…” Melanie began when James interrupted her.
“We do have an additional issue that we have not discussed…” he began. Ms. Raine is several months pregnant with Mr. Carter’s child.
“I’m aware of that, James. “ Judge Powell stated. “However, until Ms. Raine gives birth Mr. Carter has no parental rights…”
“Nick is the….” I began but Melanie immediately interrupted.
“I agree, Judge Powell….we can table this matter for further discussion at a later date. If the child is Mr. Carter’s, Ms. Raine will have no issue with visitation…” she stated, as I looked at her strangely. She knew this child was Nick’ – I didn’t understand why she had said that. I saw Nick whisper something to his lawyer, who whispered back and patted him encouragingly on his arm. Nick ran his hands through his hair, clearly not agreeing with what his lawyer said, but nodding anyway.
“Very well,” Melanie said standing up, offering her hand to Judge Powell. “I’ll get my office to draw this up as soon as possible. At this point, I believe Mr. Carter and Ms. Raine can make arrangements to discuss this with their son…” she said as she snapped her briefcase closed. “You have her information?” she asked looking at Nick, who nodded.
I followed Melanie out with Nick and his lawyer trailing behind him. Lauren was not sitting in the reception area. I walked over to Nick. I looked up at him and met his gaze. “I need to tell you something,” I said as he looked down at me. He was standing so close I could smell his cologne. Gravity. He looked tired. “When I came out here earlier and rushed into the bathroom, your girlfriend was here. The receptionist acknowledged that I was pregnant and I heard her reaction.” I saw him wince. “I’m guessing she didn’t know…” I trailed off. He shook his head no. “I am sorry, Nick… I really…”
Nick interrupted. “That’s not important now.” He said curtly. “I’ll deal with it. Can we figure out a time that I can come over and meet Jackson. I’m in town until Saturday and I would like to do it sooner rather than later so I can spend some time with him. Besides, I need to meet with his doctor as well.” I nodded.
“I’m really exhausted right now. Can we make it tomorrow night?” I asked him and he nodded. “I’ll text you the address..” I said as I made my way toward the elevator. I got in, and Melanie pushed the button to go down. As the doors were closing, I met Nick’s gaze one final time. The depth of emotion emulating from them pulled at my heart. I hope I was able to emotionally survive the next several days.
