Nick’s mouth began to move but nothing was coming out of it.  He’d been caught with his pants down, literally.  I was disgusted.  You’d have to be living under a rock for the past two years not to know who the cantankerous piece of shit was that he was with.  Just looking at her you could tell she was coked out of her mind.  Now that you mention it, so was Nick.  His skin was pasty and clammy, his eyes bloodshot and glazed over.  What the hell had happened to him?

“Who the hell are you?” I whispered.  “I don’t understand…” Tears began to form in my eyes, but I quickly blinked them back.  I was NOT going to cry.  Now way, no how. 

“Take care of your little problem, Nicky” Paris said as she stumbled out on to the balcony.  Maybe she’d fall off of it.  I just stared at Nick, or maybe I stared through him.  I was sick to my stomach and couldn’t even look at him.

“What the fuck, Whit?  You weren’t supposed to be here until Christmas Eve,” Nick spat out.

“Is that your response to this, Nick?  Really?” I seethed at him.  “You don’t have anything else?  How long exactly has this been going on?”

“We met the other night at a club.  Come on, do you really think I would be able to keep it under wraps?” Nick leaned back on the counter.  “I think we’re better suited for each other – she likes the life out here, when you come out here – we never do anything,” he snickered.

“I’m not even getting into this with you,” I seethed.  “Are you kidding me?  We do what YOU want to do, all that clubbing and partying was supposed to be out of your system – are you seriously telling ME I held you back?  Really? Nick, I’m done – you’re not the person I thought you were, you can’t even stand up straight – are you taking drugs?  You look like you’re on something.  Does AJ know what’s going on?” If AJ knew what was going on, it would devastate me – not just the drugs, but the deception.  I knew his loyalty lied with Nick, but really?

“Come on, Whit – don’t be such a prude – it’s just a little blow, no biggie…” Nick laughed as he wiped his nose.  His nostrils red from his indulgence of earlier.  He looked like shit.  How could I have been so wrong and misjudged him so completely?  I had to get out of there.  I grabbed my purse and suitcase, which I thankfully hadn’t unpacked yet.  I saw the keys to his Escalade on the counter. 

“I’m not waiting around for a car, I’m taking your car to the airport.  You and the whore can pick it up tomorrow.” He grabbed my arm.  “Let go of me now, Nick…” I said in a calm, even voice.

“Don’t do anything stupid, Whitney…” he said trying to stand up straight.

“I think you’ve cornered the market on that, Nick…” I said trying to get to the door.  I pulled my arm away.  I could hear Paris laughing on the balcony as she talked to someone on her cell phone, evidently finding this whole scene amusing.  She could have him - I was done.

I composed myself and looked at Nick.  “Don’t you worry about a damn thing, Nick.  I’m going to the airport, getting on a plane and going back to New York.  Then, I’m going to forget everything about you.  You aren’t even worth it.  Maybe there’s a reason you’re family doesn’t come around.  Ever thought about that?” I said, spewing the only venom out of my mouth that I knew would cut him to the bone.  The brief, sobering look in his eyes proved I’d struck a cord.  “Don’t call me, don’t contact me – just stay the fuck away.  You can have that disgusting slut in there.  You two deserve each other.”  With that, I threw my suitcase in the car and pealed out of the driveway, Nick standing there watching me drive away.  I sped down the 405 towards LAX.  All I wanted to do was get on a plane and get home.  Home, I laughed to myself.  Where was that?  For awhile, I’d thought it would be LA, with Nick – but that was a fantasy. 

I held myself together until I got on the plane.  All I remember is staring out the window for the five hour flight back to New York.  I had called Lila and told her I was coming home.  She didn’t ask questions, and I didn’t offer any information – I just wanted my best friend.  I got back to the apartment and without a word went into my room and crawled into bed.  Which is where I stayed for who knows how long – numb, empty, emotionless – until I couldn’t function anymore.  Finally, after two weeks Lila had enough and dragged me kicking and screaming to the doctor, where I found out I was anemic, dehydrated and …five weeks pregnant.