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Dear Ma,

I'm writing to you because I had the strangest dream last night. It was so real I swear I could feel it happening. You're going to think I'm crazy and maybe I am, I feel it now that I'm awake, but just incase the dream was true, I can't ignore it.

I dreamt of the creek. You know that creek that runs out back of our property? You know that spot, where the root of that one tree makes the perfect seat to watch the sunset, where the water turns to liquid gold before your very eyes when you sit there? I dreamt of that spot. And it was the weirdest thing, ma, because I could hear the cicaidas and the water and feel the breeze on my face but I knew I wasn't there. It wasn't me I was dreaming about being there and I realized it was a girl that was there.

She was so pretty, ma, this girl. She had hair the same color as mine, and eyes like mine, and a nose and jawline like mine. She was so sweet, so perfect. And I stared at her and I loved her with all of my heart, and I just wanted to tell her so, but I couldn't because I wasn't there.

I know you don't like it when I talk like this, about the Leukemia and about the possibility of tomorrow never actually coming for me. I know that it bothers you, and I understand why. If I were in your shoes, I cannot imagine how I would feel. I cannot imagine how terrifying it would be to hear my son talk about things like death. But it is coming ma, whether it is a comforting thought or not. And I worry about the family I will leave behind - I worry about Leighanne and Baylee, and you and Dad, and Harold and Kevin. I worry about Nick and Amanda. I worry about everyone that I know and love.

But right now I'm worrying about someone else. Someone who may not even exist. I'm worrying about that girl.

If the doctors are wrong - if the treatments have not made it impossible - if it turns out that Leighanne is pregnant and that girl I dreamed of does exist... I need for you to make sure that she gets the enclosed letter to her from me that I've included in the envelope I've sent you... Don't lose it. Please. I need her to know how I felt looking at her as she sat there by the creek in my dream. I need her to know the things that I can't tell her.

I pray that I will live long enough to tell her myself, but just incase, please see that she knows I love her.

Sincerely,
Brian