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Chapter Three

On Brian's birthday, Nick woke up to the sound of the dial tone humming in his ear. Amanda had given up at some point, and he'd been left with nothing but the persistant drone. He reluctantly cut the line, and put the phone, silent and still, back down on the mattress beside his pillow. He folded his hands over his chest. The room felt strangely silent.

Sixteen years ago, little beknownst to everyone else, he and Brian had first mentioned the idea for the road trip on the phone when he'd called to wish him a happy birthday. It'd been a marvelous trip - all the stops, all the sights - Nick smiled as he recalled Brian's fear at the bungee jumping in Colorado, and his response when he hit the ground in Nebraska after skydiving.

He was relishing his little reminiscent moment when the phone rang and he looked at the caller ID and saw Littrell on the display. Irrationaly, he picked up the phone and said, "Dude I was just thinking about you," before he remembered.

"You were?" Bree's sweet voice carried through the phone lines across the miles, so much like a female version of Brian's - just slightly higher, like Brian when he did his impression of Leighanne, almost. "What about me?"

Nick felt his stomach twist. He'd meant he'd been thinking about Brian, not Bree. He paused, "Just - you know - thinking," he stammered the words out. He felt like he'd swallowed his tongue, and an awkward sort of silence fell between them.

"I have a question," Bree said.

Nick shook his head, trying to reinstate control over his mouth. "You do?" he asked.h "What's that?"

"You know my dad's Bible? The one you gave me?"

Know it? Nick knew it well. He'd spent those five years that it'd been in his posession reading and rereading the notes Brian had written in the margins, reading and rereading the various journal entries, reliving the past over and over again, until he'd realized that it wasn't helping him to let go of Brian - something Amanda had pointed out during one of their many arguments on the subject - and he'd given it to Bree. The only other person in the world he trusted to revere it the way he would.

"What about it?" he asked. A fear trickled through his senses - she didn't lose it did she? he worried.

"I was reading it last night and I found this note about someone named Piper. Baylee didn't know who it was, and I didn't wanna ask my mom and - well, you knew my dad the best of everyone, really."

"Piper's eagle," Nick mumbled quietly.

"Yeah, that's it," Bree agreed, excited. "What's that?"

He felt his heart clench in his chest. He rolled onto his side in the bed and hugged his pillow. "You probably don't remember Amanda?"

"Your girlfriend?"

"Fiance," Nick corrected her. He paused. "You were like six when she left."

"I think I do a little," Bree said, "Is she Piper?"

"No," Nick answered, shaking his head, "No, her brother was Piper. He brother had died from Leukemia, too. Before --" he couldn't bring himself to say Brian did, and he wavered a moment, then hastily finished, "-- before we met her."

"So how did my Dad know about Piper? And what's Piper's eagle got to do with it?"

Nick took a deep breath, "Well, Amanda told us about Piper and your Dad obviously really understood the situation because he was going through it back home and ---"

"Back home?"

"We were on a road trip."

"A road trip?" Bree's voice climbed in excitement. "To where?"

"I dunno, across the country. The eagle thing was this eagle we saw in the Grand Canyon..."

"The Grand Canyon," she gasped, "Wow. So why is it Piper's eagle?"

"Piper loved eagles, and Amanda saw this one eagle and, I dunno, it was mostly a her and Brian thing, but you know. I think it was like this sign that - yanno, like Piper was... in a better place or whatever." Nick bit his lip.

"That's really cool," Bree said reverently. "It totally makes sense why he'd write that in here with the verse now." She ran her fingers over the text. She was sitting on the floor of her room, leaning against the wall by the window again, the Bible on her lap. She stared down at his hand writing, a smile on her face. "Thank you for actually telling me about him," she added.

"Why wouldn't I?" Nick asked.

The question reminded her of Baylee the night before. "Because nobody else will tell me about him," Bree said.

Nick raised an eyebrow. "Your mom and Baylee don't talk about him?"

"Not really."

"You deserve to know," he murmured. "He's your dad."

"I know," Bree agreed.

"He was a good man, he deserves better than to be forgotten."

"I know."

Nick had sat up at some point during the conversation and was now cross-legged on his bed. He stared at the crap that was strewn about the room - all the things Amanda had written since she'd left ten years ago. He drew a deep breath, "Can I talk to your mom?"

"Yeah," Bree agreed, a bit let down. She'd been hoping that Nick's response would lead to him telling her about Brian - not commanding her mom to. "Hold on."

"Thanks."

Bree got to her feet and carried the phone down the stairs, following the smell of Pinesol. She found Leighanne on the couch in the living room, hugging the cushions. The bucket of cleaner on the floor by the coffee table, rubber gloves, a sponge, and a bottle of Pinesol on the table top. She inched into the room. This was a bad day to hassle her mom too much - it being Brian's birthday and all. Leighanne was on her back, staring up at the ceiling though, not asleep, so Bree said quietly, "Mom?" When she didn't respond, Bree tried again, "Mom?"

Leighanne looked up at her daughter. "What?" she asked, her voice stoney. She stared at her daughter's features and saw nothing but Brian standing there, her heart breaking because she couldn't really see Brian.

"Nick's on the phone, he wants to talk to you," Bree said, waving the phone in her mother's direction.

Leighanne's eyes saddened. Nick. He was the only thing worse than remembering Brian, the only thing worse than being her was being Nick. Nick, who'd relied on Brian far longer than Leighanne had, whose life had revolved for so many months around his best friend, whose world had fallen apart even worse than Leighanne's had in the wake of Brian's death. He'd lost his best friend, his bandmates, his girlfriend... Nick was alone. At the very least, she had Baylee and Bree. She held out her hand, and Bree placed the phone into it. "Thanks," Leighanne muttered.

Bree nodded and retreated from the room, but hovered just outside of it, around the corner, out of sight. She wondered if they'd talk about him, if she'd be able to overhear Leighanne say something interesting about him - something that she'd never known before. She pressed herself against the wall, her palm splayed out on it, and waited.

"Hello Nick," Leighanne said into the phone, her voice struggling to stay whole.

"Hey," Nick's voice was gentle. "How're you doin'?"

Leighanne sighed shakily, "I'm - well, you know. Okay." She paused. "How are you?"

"I'm --" Nick cast another glance around the room and decided it'd be better not to tell her wallowing in self pity like I have been for the past sixteen years, especially given what he was about to ask of her. "I want Bree to come spend a couple weeks with me."

"Excuse me?"

"Bree," Nick said, "I want her to come spend a couple weeks with me."

Leighanne sat up. "It's school time, are you crazy? She can't miss that much school."

"So transfer her, get her homeschooled, get her a tutor," Nick argued, "You know how to do this stuff, you did for Baylee all those years. Stuff like that is so much easier now. They have high school online for crying out loud."

Leighanne didn't know how to respond. She knew sending Bree to Nick's house was, parentally speaking, a terrible idea. But at the same time, she imagined being able to leave the house herself, to get out, away from the memories that haunted her around Bree, around the house. She could go and visit Baylee in Orlando. She could go to the beach. Her heart raced. She couldn't send Bree off to go be with Nick for two weeks, that was crazy. Nick - who was currently on probation! Nick - who probably was drunk or about to be! Leighanne shook her head, "Nick, I'm sorry, but -"

"Sober, right now," he stammered, "I swear to you. I won't drink a drop in front of her. Not a drop."

"You say that because you can't see the - the resemblence."

"Please, Leighanne," Nick begged, "Tell me what I gotta do to get you to agree to this and it's done."

"What did she tell you, that I'm some kind of ogre?" Leighanne asked.

"No," Nick replied, "But I just - I wanna talk to her. I wanna tell her about Brian."

Leighanne's heart stopped at the name. The name had become taboo. She shuddered and closed her eyes. "Why?" she demanded, "Talking about him doesn't bring him back."

"In a way it does," Nick answered, "His memory."

Bitterness welled up in her throat, bitter and sour. "I don't want a memory," she snapped.

"That's all that's left," Nick snapped back.

Leighanne felt tears searing the edges of her eyes. She looked around the room, thought about the silence she faced when Bree wasn't around - about the comfort that the idea of seeing Baylee again offered her. She hugged the cushion to her chest. "How soon?"

"I can call the airline now," he answered.

Leighanne took a deep breath. "Do it."