An Illicit Gentleman

                          Chapter Fifteen

The room was dark with nothing but a small beam of moonlight seeped in.  It was quiet; the only sound was that of AJ as he sat on his couch drinking a bottle of Jack.  He sniffed and wiped his eyes as he put the bottle to his lips and tossed his head back.  Taking two big gulps he pulled the bottle away and set it down. 

Everything was hitting him and hitting him hard.  What happened to Eve, seeing her the way she was, finding out Mats was one of the men involved, and learning how Brian had treated Eve on tour and what it lead her to do.

He turned his head a little and listened when he thought he heard someone coming down the stairs.  Then he heard the small footsteps of bare feet walking across his hallway floor.  AJ looked back at the bottle of Jack as Eve came around the corner.

“What are you doing up?” She asked as she walked over to the couch.

“Can’t sleep so I’m having a drink.” He said as he picked up the bottle.  “It’s the only thing I seem to be able to do.”

“What do you mean?” Eve asked as she sat down beside him.  AJ took another drink from the bottle. “Alex” She said as she took the bottle from him and set it on the coffee table.

“I feel helpless.” AJ said as he looked at her.  “You’re in so much pain and there’s nothing I can do, I’m the one that’s suppose to be able to make you feel safe, and how can I when my own friend…” He stopped and put his head down.  “And Brian…fuck don’t get me started on him.  All I asked was for him to keep his fucking mouth shut and get to know you, could he do that? No.”

AJ reached for the bottle and took two gulps from it.  When he put the bottle down it banged against the wood.  He felt her hand take his again, her fingers drifted between his, but he didn’t want to look at her, if he did he was pretty sure he’d lose it even more.  His arm moved and he felt his hand wrap around the side of her neck.  Slowly he turned his head and looked at her.  Eyes closed she rested his hand there and he couldn’t help but brush his thumb along her jaw line.  She felt so good to touch again, her skin was soft and warm.  Her hair brushed against the back of his fingers as he drifted his thumb lightly down her cheek.

“Do you know how I feel?” Her voice cracked as she held his hand against her neck.

“No” AJ said lightly shaking his head.

“Empty.” She told him as she opened her eyes and looked at him.  “I don’t feel anything and I don’t like being this way Alex.” Eve looked down closing her eyes as a tear dripped from her lashes.  “I feel like I don’t belong anymore, like I’m out of place.”

“Eve” AJ said sadly as he turned to face her better.

“And you’re the only one who can fix it.” She said as she looked back to him.  “You’re the only one who can make the emptiness disappear; you’re the only one who can make me feel something.”

AJ watched her cry not sure what to do, slowly he wiped the tears from her face, and was about to pull her into his arms for a hug when she stopped him.  Her hand lightly but firmly laid flat against his chest and she looked up at him with tear soaked eyes.  He wondered if even a hug was too much for her to handle right now.

“Show me.” She whispered as they looked at each other.  “Show me that I can be loved, that I’m not someone’s thing that can be used and tossed away.  Show me that I can feel again, that I’m not dead, and that I won’t be this way forever.” He looked at her; he didn’t want to push her, even if she was asking him too but he saw the pain on her face, in her eyes.

Then without giving it another thought he leaned into her and kissed her.  All his emotions came running at him at once; it had been a while since his lips were against hers.  Her hand slid slowly down his shirt, her fingers crawled under it and the touch of her finger tips on his skin sent goose bumps all over his body.  When Eve moved her lips from his and placed them on his neck, AJ scooped her up in his arms, carried her out of the living room and up to his room.

Gently he laid her onto the bed and slid in under the covers next to her.  They started kissing again as he let his hand slide down her side to her hip.  Slowly he lifted her shirt and slid his hand around her waist.  He took his time, making sure she had plenty of time to stop him if she needed to but she didn’t.  Eve let him undress her and she let him make love to her.  Now they both lied on his bed wrapped in his sheets. 

“Eve?” AJ said quietly wondering if she was still awake as she slept with her back to his front, wrapped in his arms.

“Mmm?” She mumbled as he lifted his head up.  Gently he pulled her hair from her neck and softly kissed the side of it.  His lips brushed passed her ear and he let the words escape from his mouth.

“I love you” He whispered.  She mumbled and he lightly smiled as he added two more kisses to the side of her neck and the back of her shoulder as he laid his head down on his pillow.

The next morning AJ woke up before Eve and let her sleep as he got dressed.  He went downstairs and called someone to come fix the back door window.  While he was in the kitchen someone knocked on his door and he went to answer it.

“Hungry?” Kevin said holding up a bag of food.

“Starving.” AJ said grabbing the bag and leaving the door open for Kevin to come in.  “Bolt lock it when you close it.” AJ told him as he walked into the kitchen. 

“Ok you bolt lock your door now? With the alarm off?” Kevin asked confused.

“No, but I can’t turn my alarm back on until my window is fixed so the guys can come in and put new alarm wires on it, then get my alarm turned back on.”  AJ said as he pulled a sandwich out of the bag.

“Wait what do you mean get your window fixed?” Kevin asked and he looked at AJ’s kitchen windows.  That’s when he saw the board covering the one near the end of the room.  “What the hell happened?”

“One of the guys broke in last night, went after Eve.” AJ said as he sat down.

“Is she ok, are you ok?” Kevin asked quickly.

“Yeah I think she’s ok, I’m fine, been better if the cops weren’t so damn close and I could of beat the fuck outta him some more.” AJ said remembering punching Mats. 

“Well at least they caught one.” Kevin said with a light nod.

“It was Mats.” AJ said looking at the island.  “It was fucking Mats.” His fist pounded on the marble.

“Like your friend Mats?” Kevin asked.  “Didn’t he introduce the two of you?”

“Yeah, I don’t get it; I didn’t think he would be the one to get all jealous.” AJ said confused on the whole topic.

“Damn man.” Kevin said sadly.  “How are you doing?”

“Last night I was hanging by a thread.” AJ said as he started to eat. 

“And now?” Kevin asked worried.  AJ finished the piece that was in his mouth as he thought about the night before.  “I’m holding on; ask me in a couple of more days.” He said with a light smile.  “But we need to talk about Brian.”

“Yeah I figured.” Kevin said with a sigh and AJ looked at him confused.   “When you told me he talked to her I called him, drilled him to see what he said to her, he told me, and all I gotta say is he may be my Cousin but I can hold him down for you.”

“Thanks.” AJ said with a smirk.

The two talked while AJ ate the sandwich Kevin had brought, he left a chicken salad for Eve hoping she would eat today.  An hour after Kevin arrived he left, letting AJ know he’d be back over later to check up on things, see if AJ needed anything.  He went back into the kitchen and put away the Chicken Salad into the fridge, when he heard a terrified scream from upstairs.  Quickly he ran up his steps two by two and down the hall.  He flew into his room and saw Eve crashing into his dresser but no one was around.  She screamed that someone was on her as she failed her arms around. 

AJ ran over to her, grabbing her arms as he knelt down in front of her.  “Hey” AJ said getting her attention.  Her face was beat red, sweaty and she breathed heavily as AJ tried to calm her down.  “Look Eve see, I’m right here, you’re home, you’re safe.” He told her as he brushed her bangs out of her eyes.

“Home?” Eve whimpered as she started to look around.

“Just a dream Eve.” AJ told her as he placed his hand on the side of her neck.

“It wasn’t a dream it happened.” Eve said looking at him.

“I know” AJ said sadly.  

AJ picked her up and brought her back over to the bed.  He sat on the edge cradling her in his arms, gently rocking himself and telling her over and over that it was going to be ok as she whimpered.  A few minutes later she sat quiet and he slowly pulled her away, thinking she was sleeping but she wasn’t.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.” She said as she looked up at him.

“You didn’t scare me, I’m just worried.” AJ told her as she laid her head back on his shoulder.  “Are you ok now?” He asked and she nodded.  “Can I get you to eat?” She didn’t say anything.  “Please Evie, you need to eat something.”

A moment later she pulled her head off his shoulder.  “Ok.” She agreed.  That brought a little bit of the weight off his shoulders and he lightly smiled as she got up.  He walked her downstairs and sat her in the living room and brought the food to her, thinking it would make it easier if she didn’t see the broken window.

He sat on the couch and watched her eat, thinking, wondering why he woke up this morning thinking she would be ok, that the night they spent together would make everything go away.  Maybe because he wanted it too, he just wanted to see her smile again, too hear her laugh again and too see the spark that they took away. 

“I can’t eat anymore.” She said as AJ sat up.  He looked at the half eatin bowl of Salad.

“Ok” He nodded.  Slowly she stood up and he looked at her a little confused.  “Are you ok?”

“Yeah” She nodded as she turned to look at him.  “Just going to have a bath and get dressed.”

“Oh ok” AJ said with a light smile.  He noticed it looked like she wanted to say something but she turned around and walked upstairs.