An Illicit Gentleman

                       Chapter Nineteen

 AJ laid sleeping in his bed, his blankets draped across this lower half just below the bandage on his chest.  He had been sleeping for a few hours, he and Eve went to bed shortly after Kevin and Brian left.  The conversation between Eve and Brian was short but at least they talked and Brian did it with respect.  He even apologized to both of them for how he reacted to them.  Slowly he rolled over his arm reaching out for her but his fingers felt nothing and the discovery that there was nothing next to him started to wake him up.

Lifting his head up and opening his eyes as he tried to adjust them to the dark, he looked around the bed and didn’t see her anywhere.  “Eve?” AJ mumbled as he slowly sat up thinking maybe she was in the bathroom.  When he felt himself awake enough he looked at his bathroom door, open and no light on.  Sluggishly he climbed out of bed and grabbed his robe that was on the floor.

When he got to the top of the stairs he stopped and listened, he could hear mumbling coming from the living room.  He made his way down the stairs and into the room expecting her to be watching TV but she wasn’t, the TV wasn’t even on.  Instead what he saw was the broken woman he saw at her place weeks ago, his liquor bottles sat empty on the coffee table and floor, and Eve sat against the bottom of the couch mumbling to herself.  A half bottle of vodka in her hand, one that AJ knew was almost full when he went to bed in fact all the bottles scattered around his living room were full when he went to bed.

“Eve?” AJ said as he started to approach her.

“Shhh.” She slurred and then swallowed back a gulp of the liquor.  AJ slowly sat down beside her.

“Why are we being…”

“Shhhh!” She snapped and she looked at him this time.  Her eyes were soaked, red, and her nose was the same colour.  “Too many voices.” Eve whispered looking away.

“Voices?” AJ said disconcerted.  “Eve what voices?”

“Their voices.” She whispered as she looked at him again.  “Their voices, I hear them when I’m sleeping, they won’t go away.”  Eve began to cry again and she took another shot from the bottle her hand shaking so bad she could barely hold it to her lips. 

“Who are they sweetheart?” AJ said as he felt himself wanting to cry.

“Mats.” Eve choaked out.  “I know it’s him now, I know which one he was, I hear him whispering to me.”  She went to take another drink but AJ stopped her and took the bottle from her.  “I tried; I tried to ignore them, all day long I can hear them, telling me..”

“Eve stop.” AJ said gently taking her by the arms.

“I need some Coke, you can get some right, that will help, that will make them go away, you’ll get me some right?” Eve asked her face almost filled with a false hope.

“Eve I don’t think that’s a good idea.” AJ said and the pain on her face told him she didn’t like the answer.

“I wish he would have shot me.” Eve muttered.  “I don’t want to be here anymore, I don’t want this pain, I don’t want see their faces anymore.  I just want it to end all of it, I can’t fight anymore, and it’s never going to be ok.” Eve cried.

“Ok, this stops now, come on.” AJ said as he stood her up.

“What are you doing?” She asked wobbling as she got up.

“You need to sober up, let’s go have a bath.” AJ said as he started to walk her to the hall.

“I don’t need a fucking bath!” She shouted as she pulled away.  “I don’t need a bath.” Eve repeated as she started to cry again.  “I don’t...” She dropped to her knees and AJ was right there beside her.  He pulled her into his arms and held her as she sobbed.

“It’s alright sweetheart.” AJ whispered as he held her, gently rocking her, trying to calm her.  He held her until her crying stopped but her grip on him didn’t loosen.  “Let’s go ok?” 

Eve lightly nodded and AJ gently pulled her away and stood them both up.  He walked her up stairs and sat her down on his bed and then went into his bedroom bath to start the water.

“Ready?” He asked as he walked into his room.  Eve just nodded as she stood up and walked into his bathroom.  AJ helped her into the tub and sat down next to it.  As she lied there with her eyes closed, he gently scooped up some water in his hand, pouring it on her shoulders and neck.  Every once in a while he would softly brush the back of his fingers down her cheek.  She laid in the water, staring at the wall, her eyes lost and her mind somewhere else.

  “Let’s go to bed ok?” AJ said to her when he felt the water cooling.  She turned her head looking at him and nodded slowly.  He stood up and helped her out of the tube, dried her off and wrapped her in her robe.

AJ pulled the blankets down and let her crawl in and then he followed.  He hadn’t even lied down before she had latched herself to him.  Laying on his back he pulled his blankets over them as he wrapped her in his arms and as he lied there with her he found himself softly singing too her, hoping, maybe that would make the voices go away.

He didn’t sleep much that night, every time he fell asleep he was awaken by her movement, wondering if she was leaving to go have another drink, or maybe something worse.  When he realized the sun was coming through he carefully got out of bed and went down stairs.  AJ stood in the doorway to his living room, looking at the bottles everywhere. It wasn’t anything new to him, he had made a mess like this a few times but the thing that was on his mind was how Eve was last night and what she had said.

Walking around the room he picked up the bottles and tossed them into a garbage bag, when the room was clean and the bag was half full he took it out back.  He came back into the kitchen and looked at the time, he wondered if Kevin would be up and decided to call him.

“Hello?” Kevin answered into the phone.

“Hope I didn’t wake you.” AJ said as he sat down at the island with a coffee.

“Nope been up for an hour or so.” Kevin replied.  “Everything ok?”

“Not really.” AJ said as he looked at the cream swirling in his cup.

“Is it Eve?” He asked.

“Yeah” AJ answered.   He then proceeded to tell him what had happened last night, what he had awoken too.  AJ then told him how scared he was now, wondering if she’d do it again and what if he didn’t hear her next time.  He couldn’t stop himself from crying as his feelings finally came out. 

“You need to talk to her Alex, then call her doctor and go from there.” Kevin said as AJ wiped his eyes.  “You need to get rid of the alcohol too.”

“I know.” AJ said quietly.  “She asked me last night to get her…” He paused and then just sucked it up.  “She asked me to get her some coke last night and I know it has to stop for me now, I don’t want to put her in danger, in that position.”

“Get her the help she needs and then we’ll worry about you.” Kevin said as AJ wiped his eyes again.

“I’m gonna go now, get my head straight before she wakes up.” AJ said as he drank the last of his coffee.

“Alright man, call me ok?” Kevin said before they said good bye and hung up. 

AJ took a deep breath and headed upstairs to his room.  He sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at the woman sleeping.  Slowly he crawled in beside her, his eyes never breaking from her.  She looked peaceful and he brushed her hair from her face to get a better look at her.  Her eyes slowly opened and she moaned as she grabbed her head. 

“Morning.” Eve said as she turned her head and looked at him.

“Morning.” AJ replied as he sat up on his arm.  “We need to talk sweetheart.”  She looked at him and he was pretty sure she started running the events of last night through her head.  “Have you told your doctor?”

“About?” She asked and he wondered if she was trying to play dumb.

“About the voices you keep hearing.” AJ said as his fingers slid through hers.  Eve laid there in silence as her eyes drifted to the blankets.  He took that as a no.  “You should call her.”

“I’m fine Alex really, just had too much to drink.” Eve said as she slowly sat up.

“Eve last night was way beyond too much to drink.” AJ said.  “I’ve been there sweetheart I’ve been rock bottom…”

“Rock bottom? Geez Alex calm down.” Eve said as she got out of bed.

“No.” AJ replied getting up.  “No way, you scared the hell outta me last night.” AJ said stopping her before she walked into the bathroom.  “I didn’t sleep at all because every time you moved I thought you were getting up to down some pills or do something stupid.” Eve rolled her eyes and sighed.  “Evelyn I love you, I think I’ve shown by now I’d do anything for you but sweetheart, you need help, this is hitting you much deeper than you’re letting on and your doctor can’t help you if you’re not honest with her.  I can’t help you if you’re not honest.”

“Alex.” Eve sighed.

“You know I’m right.” AJ said as he made eye contact with her.  “Please Evie.”

Her eyes closed and she took a deep breath.  “Alright, I’ll call her.”

“Thank you.” AJ said as he pulled her into his arms and held her tight.  Slowly she wrapped her arms around him.  “Are you hungry?” He asked as they pulled away.

“Ugh no, just want some Orange Juice.” Eve said squishing her nose.

“Ok.” AJ said with a light smile and he walked her down to the kitchen.

They talked as they sat in the living room, him with another Coffee and her with an Orange Juice.  When she had finished he got her on the phone with her doctor, who at no shock to AJ wanted to see Eve right away.  So they both got dressed and left to go downtown.  He waited outside like he always did and she went right in with her psychiatrist. Page after page turned and he read story after story.  His attention was taken away when he heard some shouts from inside the office.  He looked over at the secretary who just lightly smiled at him and he got the feeling she was use to it.  Then the doctor’s door flew open and Eve came barging out.  She walked right past AJ and out of the waiting area.  AJ stood up as the doctor walked over too him.

“She needs to go to a hospital.” She told him.

“A hospital?” AJ said kind of confused.

“She needs intensive therapy.” The woman said.  “At least for a couple of weeks, maybe a month.”

“Ok.” AJ said with nod.  The woman left and went to her secretary’s desk.  He walked out of the waiting room and down the hall, he sighed relaxed when he saw Eve sitting in a chair in the hallway around the corner by the elevators. 

“I’m not going.” She said before he sat down, before he could even say anything.  “I’m going to some damn nut house.”

“It’s not a nut house Eve.” AJ said as he took her hand.  “It’s a place where they can keep an eye on you and help you get through this.”

“I can’t be away from you for that long.” She said as she looked at him.  He lightly smiled at her and kissed the back of her hand. 

“You have to be or you’ll never get better, this goes way beyond me sweetheart.  Last night if things had gotten any worse, if I hadn’t of woken up I really think you would have hurt yourself.”  AJ told her.   “That scares the hell outta me.  I don’t want to lose you, defiantly not like that.”  Eve moaned and ran her fingers through her hair.  “Besides, I need to get myself straight too.”

“You?” Eve replied confused.

“If I really want to be there for you, help you through this, because the hospital will not be the end of it, it won’t magically fix it and me drinking and doing coke is not going to help you either.”  AJ told her.  “We’re both going to have to clean up and do it right.”

Eve laid her head in her hands and started crying.  He slid his hand across her back and she reached up wrapping her arms around his neck.  “I know you’re scared Eve but you have to do this.  You don’t want to feel the pain anymore and I don’t want to see you in pain anymore.”

“I’ll go but not today.” Eve said quietly as he sobs calmed.

“Ok” AJ said as he pulled her away.  “We’ll go let the doctor know, then we’ll spend the day together do whatever you want, alright?”

“Alright.” Eve nodded as she wiped her eyes.  AJ lightly smiled as he helped her clean up her tears.