Chapter 1

            "Hey Baby it's me. Busy tonight?" When I hear the voice on the other end of my phone, my heart races a tiny bit. Then I remember it's not what I want it to be. But it's all I've got, so I plan on keeping it.

            OK, let me go back a little bit. Ever heard of being friends with benefits? That's what I am with AJ. We've been friends forever, then one night, a drunken game of truth or dare ended with us in bed. When we woke up, neither of us felt awkward about it so it just kept happening.

            That was four years ago. Sure, we've both dated. He's supposed to be engaged, but occasionally, we get together and have some fun. But more than that, we're really good friends. I talk to him almost every day. Anyway, getting back to the phone call, I say, "Sure, what did you have in mind?"

            He chuckles wickedly and says, "How about dinner and a movie?"

            I say, "Sounds good to me. Want me to meet you?"

            He says, "Nope. I'll pick you up in twenty."

            He hangs up before I can respond. Twenty minutes? Damn him!

            When he knocks on the door, I'm looking at myself in the floor length mirror in the bathroom. I probably won't get to see him again before the holidays so I decided something other than jeans is in order.  I barely had time to take a 5 minute shower, thanking God I shaved earlier that evening.  I decided to wear a short, denim jumper with a pale pink blouse underneath it.  Since it's AJ I'm going out with, who needs panties or a bra? Not me. It is rather chilly for late September so I grab a sweater, just in case.

            When I open the door, he's standing there, a cigarette hanging in his mouth and his cell phone up to his ear.  I hear him say, "Dammit, just leave me alone, ok? I'm not dealing with this tonight. Good bye!"

            When he hangs up, I say, "Everything ok?"

            He nods and steps inside, placing a sweet kiss on my cheek. I sigh as he walks by me. He says, "I don't know, but I don't want to talk about it now."

            I turn to him and say, "If you're sure...you just seem really upset and you never enjoy the movie when you have something on your mind."

            He takes my hand and says, "You know me too well. That was Ro."

            I sit down and pull him down beside me. He puts his cigarette out in an ash tray as I say, "What's going on?"

            He lays his head back and says, "She's not sure she wants to get married."

            My heart rate doubles but I keep my face emotionless and say, "Why?"

            He says, "I don't know, some kind of bullshit that even when we're just hanging out, my mind is somewhere else.  Well hell, we've spent the past two months going over HER wedding dress, the flowers SHE wants, where SHE wants to get married. Yes I'm bored with it because I'm not needed in the plans."

            I feel my heart sink and I say, "Maybe she thinks you don't really want to marry her, AJ."

            He says, "If I didn't want to, I wouldn't have asked her. I just can't get into the planning part of it. I left it up to her and she's not even happy about that either."

            I move away from him and stand up and say, "You want anything to drink?"

            He shakes his head no and says, "I just don't understand her problem. I thought women loved to plan weddings. I thought she'd be happy if I let her do whatever she wants."

            I turn my back to him to hide my feelings and say, "Maybe she wants a little effort on your part to make it feel like you're as into it as she is."

            He growls and says, "Well I'm not. I mean, I want to marry her, but I don't want to plan it. What should I do?"

            I say, "AJ, how long have we been friends?"

            He sighs and says, "Years. Years and years. You were my first crush, then we hit the big time and you became the only person in my life who didn't want to be my friend for the money. You're the only true friend I have."

            My heart melts at his words. I say, "Then trust your friend. Rochelle wants you to be involved in some way. If you really hate the planning process, tell her that. Be honest. Did you do that?"

            He says, "No. No, I didn't. You're right, I guess my attitude isn't really the best in the world about this."

            I laugh and say, "AJ, you're such a GUY sometimes. Where do you want to eat?"

            He says, "Let's go to The Brewery. I want a steak."

            I say, "Sounds good, let me get my purse."

            I go into my bedroom and grab my bag. I may want AJ to love me, but he doesn't. I don't want to lose my friend so I'm going to do what I can to make sure he's happy.

            When I turn to walk out of the bedroom, he's standing in the door. I jump and say, "Dammit, AJ you're so quiet. You scared me."

            He laughs and says, "I'm sorry. I just...well..."

            I laugh and say, "Shy around me, AJ?"

            I see the passion in his eyes and he says, "Not before tonight. You look good, Baby."

            I walk up to him and say, "Thank you my dear. Let's go eat. I'm starving."

            When I step up in front of him, he puts his hands lightly on my waist and says, "We could do other things first."

            I have to giggle. Since we started having sex, he's always so cute about initiating it. We haven't slept together in months. I want him so bad I can't stand it, but I also know I have to keep it light and friendly. I say, "Let's go eat, AJ. If you want that, you're gonna need your strength."

            He says, "For you, I have the strength of ten men."

            I lean up and kiss him lightly on the lips. When I pull back, I say, "Food. Let's go."

            He follows me out, saying, "I can't believe you're making me work for it."

            I grab a sweater and say, "Not work for AJ. I'm really starving. If you want it to be good..."

            He says, "Hey, I'm the baddest boy the group's got!"

            I laugh and say, "Yes, I know and you know that is one of my favorite songs. Let's go eat."

            He puts his arm around my shoulder and says, "You're on. Just remember this later when we get back. I want to get into your panties."

            I giggle as he opens the car door and I say, "That should be easy, I'm not wearing any."

            He groans and says, "You lie."

            I wink at him and say, "You'll find out. Let's go."

            When he gets in the driver's seat, he says, "Show me."

            I say, "No."

            He says, "Please?"

            I laugh and say, "No, now let's go."

            He pouts and says, "Pretty please..."

            When I look at him and he rolls his lower lip down, I cave.  I say, "Only if you promise not to smoke for the rest of the night."

            He groans and says, "Come, seriously? You know I love my smokes."

            I say, "I know it's going to kill you one day. I want you to stop forever. Can't you give me one night?"

            He rolls his eyes and says, "Make it worth my while and yes, I will."

            I smile seductively and say, "Promise?"

            With his eyes boring into mine, he says, "I promise."

            I look around and he does the same before saying, "It's safe. Show me."

            I slowly slide my skirt up and when AJ sees I wasn't lying, he whistles and says, "Damn, Celeste, you shaved just for me?"

            I laugh and say, "No, I shave for me. YOU just happen to like how it feels."

            He slides his hand over the smooth skin of my mound causing me to get a lot turned on and he says, "Correction, I LOVE how it feels. Sure you don't wanna skip dinner?"

            I almost give in when the tip of his finger dips inside me. But I stand my ground and say, "Dinner first...please?"

            He leans closer to me and kisses me gently before saying, "I'm having YOU for dessert."