Chapter 19

“So what did Callaghan say?” Mike said as he sat down across the table from Nick. Keeping an eye on Matty who was sitting in his high chair the other end of the table playing with three-year-old James, he handed the much larger man a plate.

“He told me the FBI shut down three sites that were getting ready to make Tasha’s tapes downloadable. They also have outstanding warrants for two others for violation of intellectual property.”

MIke nodded. “That’s not going to hold them for too long, I imagine.”

Nick downed a big gulp of his beer. “We have maybe a week.”

Howie chimed in from the kitchen a few feet away. “Any leads on who leaked it?”

Nick shook his head. “They’re still trying to locate Belinda, she may have some answers. But apparently, not even the collective power of Washington can pull her out of hiding.”

“How’s Tasha? Is she freaked out? Because I’m honestly still freaked out when I heard about the fire,” Leigh said from her seat next to her son. She was trying to feed him but he was too distracted playing with Matty to pay attention to his mother. “And she hasn’t answered any of my text messages. Is she okay?”

Nick nodded and fought against the urge to go upstairs and figure out what’s taking JC and Tasha so long. “She’s fine. She’s been busy looking after Matty while Damon and I met with the window and alarm folks today.”

Howie put the platters of Mexican food on the table. “I THOUGHT you had new windows. It seemed different.”

“Bullet proof, all of them,” Nick confirmed, handing Howie a plate as he sat next to his wife. “Plus a new alarm system. That bastard is going to friggin’ jail the next time he attempts to do some damage to my property.”

Mike chimed in, “And your woman.”

Nick blinked and dismissed Mike’s statement. “She’s not my woman. She’s a good friend. And I don’t want anyone under my protection to be in any kind of danger.”

He didn’t miss the look Leigh shot her husband.

“What was your news, Mike? Did you hear from the police?”

He nodded. “We need to wait until Tasha’s here. She’ll want to hear this too.”

“I’m here, I’m here!” Tasha said, bouncing down the nearby staircase with JC right behind her. “Sorry, JC and I got carried away talking.”

Nick stood up and pulled the chair out from next to him. “Sit. Are you hungry?”

She walked around him to greet their visitors. Throwing tight hugs to Mike, Howie and a long one for Leigh, she offered James a kiss as well as a hug for Matty.

Nick frowned. Was he imagining things or was she not meeting his eyes?

“Oh thank the good lord for you Doroughs. Mexican food.” JC blew kisses across the table as he sat down next to Matty. “I love all of you,” he declared as he grabbed two massive tacos from the platter in front of him. “You wouldn’t happen to have margaritas to go with these tacos would you?”

Nick sat down as soon as Tasha settled in the seat next to him. “All of this is vegan, C,” Nick announced, just as his brother-in-law was about to have a bite. “Just so you know.”

Comically, the taco that was inches away from JC’s mouth stopped mid-rise. With a frown, JC’s eyes narrowed as he turned to Nick. “Way to kill a boner, a-hole.”

“You had news, Mike?” Tasha asked, keeping the attention on the business at hand. “I hope it’s good news.”

Mike shrugged. “There’s some good and there’s some not-so-good. Which one do you want me to hit you with first?”

Tasha smiled at everyone around the table. “I think we could all use some good news.”

Mike nodded and took out an envelope from behind him. “So the police have a person of interest in custody for the fire this morning.” He pulled out a photo of an unfamiliar man, making Tasha frown.

Nick leaned forward and looked at the photograph closely. “Are we supposed to know who this person is?”

“And what do you mean ‘person of interest’?” Tasha asked.

“His name is Clarence Dare. Someone ID’d him walking down the beach late last night, walking this way. His car was parked next to the boardwalk two blocks down with traces of gasoline in the front seat as well as some other pieces that would make it easy to make that molotov cocktail. The cops are trying to see if his prints match the ones found on the bottle fragments from the fire.”

Nick frowned. “Has he been charged yet?”

“Not officially. He was invited to go to the station but apparently he has an alibi. That’s why he’s still considered a person of interest and not an actual suspect. They can only hold him for 24 hours.”

Tasha was still confused. “But who is he? I don’t think I know him or...” She turned to Nick. “Does he look familiar to you?”

“No.” Taking the photograph into his hands, he showed it to everyone else on the table. “Anyone else recognize this guy?”

Everyone shook their heads. JC looked closer and said, “He does look familiar but maybe he lives around here?”

“That’s the not-so-good news,” Mike said, clearing his throat. “He used to go by another name, one that Tasha might recognize. John Clarence Finkel.”

At that, Tasha’s face lost all color and a panicked look took residence in her eyes.

“Johnny Fink!” JC exclaimed next to her. “I know that dude! He used to manage our NSYNC tours. Timberfro and I used to play poker with him and his wife all the time. He took care of the whole tour operation and his wife handled the PR...you know, booking interviews in each city and stuff.” His smile grew, impressed at himself for remembering. “Oh man, Joey and I tried to sleep with her all the time.”

Nick gave JC a stern look before focusing on Tasha. “Tasha, do you remember who he is?”

She nodded, still looking like she was trying to wrap the information around her head. “I do.” Looking up at Nick, her face was grim, ashen, almost like she’d seen a ghost.

“Who is he?”

“He’s Belinda’s husband.”

*********

Johnny Finkel. Tasha hadn’t heard that name in years and yet it felt like it was yesterday when his name fell like a curse from Belinda’s lips.

“You can’t just leave me, Tash. We promised we were--” Belinda’s hand closed in on Tasha’s arm as she tried to walk away and finally get on her plane to Baltimore. She needed to be with her mother, who was suddenly irreversibly sick.

It took everything in her not to shake it off. “Bee, please, we agreed. This was going to end after the tour.”

“That’s two weeks from now, baby. I can go with you, to Baltimore. Help you through this thing with your mom...”

“Bee, my mother is sick. I can’t...we need to end this now. We talked about this.” Tasha slowly pulled away, eager to get to her gate. “Look, my flight is boarding. Bee, just...we’re done. I’m sorry.”

“I love you, Tasha, I can’t go back to Johnny. I need you,” she clung desperately as Tasha took two steps away. “I’ll do whatever you want. Just...don’t leave me.”

Tasha pulled the other woman close. “Belinda. Listen to me. I have no time for this. I am trying to get to my mother. We were good together but I’m going to Baltimore and you’re still married. It was a stupid fling on a stupid tour. We need to let it go.”

Belinda was incensed. “How dare you. I tell you I love you and all you say is we had a STUPID fling?”

“Bee...please. Can we talk about this another time?”

“No we can’t! You are so selfish, you can’t even think about what your decision is doing to me. I can’t believe I ever thought you felt anything for me.”

“Jesus, Bee, stop with the drama.”

“Fuck you, and fuck your family. I can’t believe I was going to leave Johnny for you. Fuck you.” Her anger made her start screaming in the middle of the airport at the top of her lungs. Tasha had been livid.

Tasha’s palm connected with her cheek sharply. “Don’t you ever talk like that about my family again,” she hissed.

It was the crazed look in Belinda’s eyes that she couldn’t forget. That and her parting words. “At least Johnny Finkel loves me enough to fight for me. Trust me, we will RUIN you.”

“...contacted you at all?” Nick’s voice invaded her thoughts and she shook off the chill that suddenly went up her back.

Tasha crossed her arms over her chest, distractedly. “I’m sorry? I didn’t hear your question.”

Nick leaned closer to her and  touched her goosebump filled arm. “You okay?”

She fairly jumped away from him, his contact on her skin electric. She leaned closer to JC. “Yeah, I, uh. Sorry, I was just surprised, that’s all.”

Mike looked at her curiously. “I’m assuming you’ve never met before.”

She shook her head. “No. We hired Belinda over the phone and she went straight on tour with us without us meeting her husband. They were based in Miami at that time.”

“He never saw a show on the road? No stops in Miami?”

She shook her head again. “We stopped in Florida but only as far south as Tampa. He didn’t make it to any show.”

Nick continued to look at her. “Did you remember something? Is there maybe a connection here that we should know? Outside of Belinda?”

“No, but, uh,” She looked at JC, who gave her a smile of support. “The last time I saw her...she made a threat. Something like both she and Johnny  would ruin me.” She shrugged. “I didn’t think much of it until now because I always thought she got her revenge by leaking those tapes the first time.”

“But now...” Mike urged.

“Now, it’s possible that it’s his turn.”

Nick impatiently turned to Mike. “What do the police know? About this guy.”

“Not much more than I’ve told you. Apparently he moved to the Valley a few weeks ago, from Miami. He lives with a cousin of sorts and it’s that guy that gave him an alibi for early this morning.”

“And Belinda?” Tasha asked in a hushed voice. “Has anyone located her yet?”

It was Nick’s turn to shake his head. “No, I was just telling them before you and JC came down that your dad said there was no luck locating her.”

“Her last known address was still Miami, at least up until two months ago. Then apparently, she filed for divorce from Johnny and moved out.”

Tasha tried to digest Mike’s statement. Was it a coincidence that the divorce timed perfectly with her rising Youtube fame?

Leigh spoke up. “I know what you’re thinking, Tash,” she said quietly. “You think this has something to do with your new singing career.”

“Maybe. The timing can’t be coincidental.” Tasha leaned back against the seat and started picking on her fingernails absently. “I’ve been in hiding for five years and coming back into the spotlight...maybe they had a bigger plan? That they were just waiting to find me?”

Leigh released a sigh. “Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry.” She extended her hand to offer comfort to her friend. “I still can’t believe someone would want to harm you, especially since you’re such a wonderful person.”

Tasha inadvertently laughed--or groaned. She wasn’t quite sure. “Oh, Leigh. Don’t feel too bad for me. I made a lot of bad decisions on that tour. Everything that’s happening right now is pretty much what I expected would happen.”

Leigh looked at Nick and scoffed, “Not everything.”

Nick thankfully ignored Leigh. “JC, how well did you know Johnny and his wife?”

“During the tours, we hung out pretty regularly, me and Johnny. He, uh, would hook me up with whatever we needed. You know.” He gave Tasha a sheepish grin. “But his wife, not so much. I mean, only the occasional poker game. Otherwise, she was a bitch on heels to anyone else on the tour that wasn’t us.” He shrugged. “I always wondered what Johnny saw in her outside of her looks. There was one time she went on a rant and screamed at Faith when she found her on the bus. She didn’t realize she was my sister.”

Tasha noticed Nick’s jaw harden at the mention of his wife’s name.

“You both need to make a statement with the police,” Mike said, his phone already out and calling the police station. “They would want more cause to detain Finkel. Are you both okay with me getting the detectives to come here?”

JC turned to Tasha before answering. “Tash?”

Taking a deep breath, she covered his hand with hers and nodded to Mike. “The sooner this is over with, the better. How soon can they get here?”

“Let me check.” Mike stood up and talked on his phone as he exited the kitchen. “Hi, Detective? It’s Mike from the Carter Compound ni Malibu. I have new information you might be interested in regarding Johnny Finkel...”

As soon as Mike left the room, Tasha started tapping her fingers on the table, distracted by her own thoughts.

The sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach intensified at the thought of Johnny Finkel so close to her. She’d never really thought he was a threat. They were practically divorced when Tasha met Belinda. But something about this whole situation reeked of revenge and Tasha was the unfortunate target.

“Tash.”

She shook her way out of her thoughts and looked at Nick, whose soft voice broke through her concentration. “Yes, Nick.”

“We don’t have to stay here. If you don’t feel safe in Malibu, we can go somewhere else, anywhere in the world. Just say the word.”

Howie nodded. “That’s a great idea, Nick. I think you guys deserve a vacation. Leigh and I have a place in Maui and it’s just five hours to get there. I can get you on the corporate jet in thirty minutes.”

“And my pad in Vegas. We can fly there right away. And maybe get you distracted with the shows and casinos.” JC volunteered. “I hear the Chippendales have a really popular show on the strip.”

Tasha saw Nick give JC a dirty look. “Jesus, JC, know when to shut the eff up.”

Her hand covered Nick’s in an effort to stop the animosity before it started. “Nick. Thank you for the offer but I’d rather stay here, if that’s okay.”

Nick nodded and laced his fingers with hers. “Are you sure?”

She nodded. “I’m positive. The police are on it, you’ve gone to the expense of upgrading security and really, this is home. So if there was any other place in the world that I’d feel safe in, it’s with you guys.”

Nick squeezed her hand even as she tried to move away from his hold.

“And besides,” she added, straightening her back and looking at Nick straight in the eye. “I’m done running away from those two. If they want a fight, a fight is what they’ll get.”

*********

Nick heard the beeping of the new alarm system and waited for the requisite two red lights to stop blinking. According to the security manual, two blinking red lights meant the doors were locked and the alarm engaged. Good.

Checking the iPhone app that allowed him to see all the security cameras around the house, everything seemed clear and quiet. The security guys were doing double duty and he could see some of them on the beach and some by the front door.

2:17 AM. It was late but he couldn’t seem to fall asleep. He had tried to get to bed after putting Matty down finally at 10 but with JC and Tasha doing an impromptu session at the studio, he ended up watching from the engineering booth until they were both done for the night.

Leigh said he was being too protective. “You need to let her do her thing, Nick,” she told him before leaving. “Don’t smother her. She’s already trying not to freak out.”

“I worry, okay?” he said back, watching Tasha and JC huddled in conversation as they walked back to the dining room after seeing the Doroughs off.

“I know but you need to stop giving her mixed signals. She’s trying to protect herself and you’re not making it easy.”

“I’m not trying to hurt her.”

“Baby, you already have. But if you want her to trust you again, you’re going to have to back off and  give her some breathing room.”

“What if she doesn’t want breathing room? What if--”

Howie patted Nick on the back. “Buddy. Stop trying to be everyone’s hero. You’re doing your best. Just let things unfold as they should.” He pulled the younger man in for a hug. “We love you, man. Get some sleep. You look terrible.”

“And you smell like tacos,” Leigh laughed as she went in for a hug, James asleep in her arms. “Don’t forget to change your bandage after you shower.”

Nick gave a fake long suffering sigh. “Okay, MOM.” He hugged her back tightly, betraying the lightness he was trying to show everyone. “I love you guys. Thanks for coming over.”

The Doroughs left when the police did and because Tasha’s nerves seemed a little more overwrought than usual, JC suggested a short jam session in the studio, just to loosen her up. After a few shots of vodka and some freedom with the banjos, Tasha soon started laughing as JC played the piano and both of them did a rousing rendition of Dexys Midnight Runners’ “Come on Eileen”.

Thinking that he was giving her the space Leigh said she needed, Nick didn’t make his presence known in the studio. He just watched...for hours he watched, in one darkened corner as the duo fooled around with a camera and shot footage for a potential YouTube video.

Tasha’s smile drew him in consistently. With JC, she was carefree, happy and as bright as the sun. And, remembering what happened over dinner, with Nick she was tentative, distant and maybe a little cold.

It wasn’t always like this. From her first time in the Compound, he felt he could read her like a book. But now, after the disaster that was their time in Baltimore, all he wanted to do was apologize to her for the rest of his life and...

“Go to bed, Nick.”

He almost jumped and dropped his phone. He didn’t really expect anyone to be here in the dark. Suddenly, a light flashed on his face.

“It’s 2 AM. Whatcha still doing up, boy?” He recognised Damon’s low voice a second after the light was turned off. Adjusting his eyes to the sudden darkness, he found the older man sitting by the couch in the living room.

“I should ask you the same thing. Shouldn’t you be at home right now? You’re supposed to be off duty until tomorrow night.”

He nodded. “I couldn’t leave. Not until the idiot who set the fire is still out there, possibly. I’m staying here, keeping watch.”

Nick gave him a slight smile. “I see I’m not the only one who’s overprotective around here.”

Damon grunted and turned his flashlight back on to resume his reading. “Go to bed, boy. Everyone else has.”

“Yes sir.” After a quick salute, Nick went up the stairs. However, instead of turning left to go to his room, he checked Tasha’s room one last time.

The hallway was dark and no light came from underneath her door, which he expected. What he didn’t expect was that the door was slightly ajar.

Slowly, he walked up to the Marilyn room and opened the door wider, listening for any sound of struggle or just really the sound of anything other than Tasha’s breathing.

Thankfully, after a cursory look around from the doorway, everything seemed good. Tasha was buried deep underneath her duvet, her eyes closed, her hair spread out against the white pillowcase.

On her nightstand, she had an open book, which had been lying facedown. Her phone, however, seemed to be on the floor.

Nick walked into the room to pick up the discarded phone and placed it on her nightstand.

Just as he was about to walk away, he spied some movement underneath the sheets.

“Can’t sleep either?”

He looked up, ignored the way his pulse raced just a little bit faster and saw deep brown eyes staring at him. He smiled.

“I’ve been ready for bed for a good three hours. No luck.” Space, he thought. Give her some space.

She gave him a slight smile as she sat up and opened the light next to her. “I think maybe I got too worked up in the studio to sleep. It’s not the first time I’ve been really excited after a session with JC.”

Nick ended up leaning against the bedpost at the foot of the bed, listening to her sleep-filled voice. “You left your door open. I just, uh, I just wanted to make sure everything was okay.”

She nodded slowly, seemingly noticing the way his hands immediately went inside his pajama  pockets.

“Is everything okay, Nick? You look...uncomfortable.”

He smiled slightly. “It’s just been a long day, and I think you and I need some rest.” Smoothing her duvet, he straightened, getting ready to walk out the door. Her nearness was causing havoc on his mind and his body and he needed out of there before he went mental. “Well, okay. Good night. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Nick.”

Her husky whisper was almost his undoing. “Yes Tasha.” He didn’t dare turn around.

“Did I do anything wrong? To upset you? It’s just...you don’t usually rush away when we’re talking.”

She sounded confused. “No. No, of course not. I’m just trying to give you some space.” He turned around and smiled weakly, noticing how the covers had dropped ever so slightly to reveal her Ramones tank top.Her very tight Ramones tank top.

“I don’t think it’s space I need right now,” she said lightly.

“Do you want me to stay with you tonight?” He heard her laugh unexpectedly so he raised his hands in self-defense. “Hey now. What’s so funny?”

“Sorry. JC asked me the same exact question before he went to bed.” She grinned and shook her head. “Somehow, when he said it, it sounded like the dirtiest come on known to man.”

That startled a smile out of him. “Well, we all know JC is the youngest dirty old man in the universe. How he still gets women, I don’t know.” He paused. “You said no, of course.”

She stayed him with a look. “Come on. I’m arguably smart enough to say no to JC.” Smile. “Arguably.”

“You haven’t said no to ME yet, so your genius is still in question,” he said, walking back to the bed with a devilish glint in his eyes.

Her smile weakened. “Well, you’re not quite as easy to say no to.”

They looked at each other for a few heartbeats before Tasha cleared her throat. “I’m going to say something I’ve been thinking about since earlier this evening. And after I’m done, I want you to think hard about whether or not you want to ask me that question again. Okay?”

Slowly, he nodded.

“I love you. I know that for a fact now. I think I’ve been in love with you since we met. But somehow, tonight, after everything that’s happened, I realized that what I feel for you is more than fireworks, more than a quick tumble in the sack, more than anger after a heartbreak. What I feel for you is that all-consuming ‘I want you in my life forever’ kind of love. The kind that puts up a fight. The kind that you had with Faith.”

Nick felt his mind go blank at her statement. She loved him?

“But I also understand that you need to heal and I get that. I do. But nights like tonight, when things like the fire and crazy people are keeping both of us up, I think we both just need a respite from the confusion of everything and just be together. Nothing complicated. Just...comfort.”

Did she even realize what she was offering him? “I don’t want to hurt you again, Tash,” he told her in a pained voice.

“I know, but nothing hurts more than loving someone who can’t love you back. So we’re good.” She looked at him with a slight smile. “You can walk away, Nick. Or ask your question again. It’s up to you.”

He wanted to run up to her and shake her senseless. Or devour her with his mouth. Or, if he were less messed up, he would tell her he loved her too.

She was beautiful. In the soft light, her wavy brown hair framed her face almost lovingly. Her eyes, bright with emotion, were honest and open. He couldn’t take advantage of all of that. It would make him just like the other people in her life who hurt her. He wanted to be different. He wanted to be...

Her hero. Goddammit.

He turned around and walked to the door before he changed his mind.

Behind him, he heard her softly say, “Good night, Nick.”

It was the hitch in her voice that made him stop with his hand on the doorknob and look back around.

“Tasha.”

Her eyes were on him again, waiting.

“Do you want me to stay with you tonight?” he asked breathlessly. What was he doing? That wasn’t the plan. He was supposed to be a gentleman. He couldn’t take advantage of Tasha and---

But she nodded, the look in her eyes becoming hotter by the second. She slid across the bed and opened the covers as an invitation.

“Nick.” His name on her lips sounding almost like a prayer. “Lock the door and come to bed.”

At that point, he was a goner.

When the lock clicked, Nick turned and walked back to Tasha, making it the longest, most torture-filled march he’d ever taken. He took off his shirt but kept his pajama bottoms on, already visualizing his hot skin on hers.  She didn’t take her eyes off him, almost as if she was memorizing every single part of him. He loved that. He loved that right this moment, he wanted her as much as she wanted him.

No. That wasn’t true. There was no way that she could want him any more than he wanted to rip everything off her right this minute. Her slow smile drove him insane. It was a challenge, he thought. She was testing him and his control.

She raised an eyebrow as Nick pushed the covers almost off the bed, to see her. All of her. He wasn’t disappointed.

Leaning back against the pillows, Tasha’s top stretched against her chest. His eyes followed where it ended and saw the smooth skin of her stomach, the lacy edge of her underwear, and good lord, the curved length of her legs, miles and miles of them.

“Turn off the light,” she whispered as he crawled to her.

He practically growled, “No.” He ran his finger across the top of her breasts lightly, wanting to feel her skin. “I want to see you.”

Her face flushed pink as she licked her lips.

He was on top of her in a matter of seconds, capturing her lips in a stunningly sexy open mouthed kiss. He heard her gasp as his tongue invaded her mouth, coaxing her tongue to come out and play.

He felt her hands on him, impatient, everywhere. But his hands stayed where they were for a while, cradling her face, kissing her until he lost breath, biting her lower lip teasingly then kissing her again like he’d hadn’t had a drink of her in years.

She raised her hips to get closer. And her hands...they started to travel lower.

He caught them and pinned both of them above her head, against the headboard. “Patience, baby,” he said against her ear, his other hand dipping into her panties and touching her already wet sex. She thrust against his fingers and moaned. “Let me--”

He took a surprised breath as soon as her teeth closed in on his earlobe, scraping, lightly licking. “Jesus, Tash,” he managed to say before dropping his head for another hot kiss.

Her hands fought against his hold but he was determined to keep her wanting more. “Keep those hands up, darling,” he said, moving down to drop kisses down her neck. “If you do, I promise it’ll  be worth it.”

Tasha’s eyes closed as she purred.

“You promise?” she asked shakily, not even bothering to open her eyes.

At that, Nick’s thumb brushed against her clit, making her practically come on the spot.

“I do.” To punctuate his statement, he pushed a finger in her, the pressure of it making her gasp and fall back against the pillows.

She was helpless against his touch. Letting go of her arms, his hand pulled down her top to free one breast. Shit. He wanted to devour her whole. As his tongue teased a pattern around her nipple, his thumb continued to tease her clit, feeling the pressure slowly building.

Her breathing became more erratic. “Nick. I can’t...not without you...” Tasha was bucking against his hand helplessly, as his rubbing intensified and the continued in and out motion of his finger made her hips start gyrating.

When he felt her peaking, his teeth scraped her nipple while his hand increased the pressure on her pelvis.

“Tash,” he hissed against the soft side of her breast. She was wild with release, which seemed to go on forever. “You are goddamn amazing,” he breathed as she pulled him up and bit into his shoulder, to keep herself from screaming as she came.

She sighed as she relaxed against him and he collapsed with her on the bed. Entwining one of her hands with his, she opened her eyes.

“You should come with a warning label, Nick,” she said quietly, touching her chest, almost to will her pulse to slow down. “Those fingers were incredible.”

He gave her a wolfish grin and dropped his gaze on her torso. “And I didn’t even have to get you naked.”

With that, he tore through the scrap of lace that held her panties together and tossed them aside. “I can’t promise that in the next round though,” he said as his hand slid against the soft skin of her thigh. “Which starts right...now.”

As he swooped down to capture her mouth in another tumultuous kiss, he vowed to make tonight a night neither of them would ever forget. Reality may interfere once daylight came but right now, in this room, they were each other’s life line, and he’d be damned if he was going to let go of her that easily.