Nick dropped his bags tiredly in Howie's living room after the evening security detail let him in. It was almost three in the morning, and as expected, the whole house was dark and quiet. It was a welcome respite from the noise in Baltimore, that's for sure. He was glad to be home.

After that conversation he had with Tasha, he'd made quick arrangements to get back to California that same evening. Five days in Baltimore WAS too long. He needed to come home to his family, his son.

During the six hour flight, he'd thought about little else other than what he was going to do with Tasha next weekend. He needed to tread carefully, he’d already put his foot in his mouth once today. He planned to sign on to be her manager, before AJ or Howie got wind of her. She was pure unadulterated talent, and it was a wonder she hadn't been signed to a label before now. Nick could see platinum albums and Grammy nominations in her future. He needed a plan to make her say yes.

How he chanced upon Tasha's performance was pure coincidence. He'd been filled with thoughts of his wife since he'd arrived in Baltimore, and his emotional visits to her grave didn't help any. He'd wanted to escape the memories of her, and their short time together, and the only way he thought of doing it was by drowning himself in alcohol. It worked before. It should work again.

But when he'd stepped into the lounge, and heard Tasha's beautiful voice, he was mesmerized. In an instant, it felt like he was home again, her voice warm, full and inviting. He'd stayed for all three of her sets because he didn't want to lose that warm feeling. He didn't want to know anything else.

The next four days though, was enough time to gauge whether Nick had really wanted her to audition for the other guys. She definitely had the talent. Kevin and Brian would see that right off. AJ and Howie would see her dark hair and soulful eyes and Nick was sure that those alone could convince them that she was right for the label.

Nick…well, Nick just wanted to show her off to the world.

Taking off his coat, he made his way quietly up the stairs and found the boys' room. Opening the door slightly, he spied a restlessly sleeping James on his race car bed. Straining his eyes against the darkness, he looked around some more until he found the small dozed form of his little boy.

Nick's heart leapt to his throat as it did every single time he saw Matty. God, he'd missed him. Five days away from him was too long. He'd missed the hugs, the kisses and his trusting eyes.

Walking inside the room, he sat beside his bed and touched his pink cheeks.

Beside Matty on the bed, Leigh stirred.

"Nick?" she called out drowsily, opening one eye and seeing her friend's tired smile.

"Hi Leigh," he greeted quietly. "Sorry for waking you.”

She rubbed her eyes open and sat up, "No problem, Nicky. Did you just get in?"

He nodded. "Thanks for taking care of the little guy for me."

She smiled. "He was an angel, honey. No need to thank me.”

“Was he having problems sleeping? Is that why you’re staying with him?” He was concerned as he brushed his son’s hair away from his face.

Leigh laughed. “No, Howie’s snoring was in fine form tonight, I needed to get away. Do you want me to set up the guest room for you?"

Nick shook his head. "I can sleep here with Matty, if that's okay."

She gave Nick a small smile and dropped a kiss on Matty’s forehead. "You got it. See you in the morning."

With that, she got up and made her way to her room. Nick stood to take off his clothes. Leaving on his boxers, he made his way around the small single bed and pulled the covers away so he could slip in beside the sleeping child.

It didn’t take him long to get comfortable. As soon as he'd pulled Matty close to him, the boy had automatically rested his head against his father's chest. Moments later, Nick was lulled to sleep by Matty's soft breathing.

**********

“You’re late.”

Tasha looked up to her father’s frail form sitting by the window of his room as she closed the door behind her. It was early Saturday evening and she was almost an hour late for her weekly visit at the Johns Hopkins Cancer facility where her father had been staying for the last year.

Tasha straightened at the reprimand. “Happy birthday, Dad. I brought presents.”

He didn’t even turn around, his attention caught between the setting sun and the activity in the park across the street.

“My birthday’s not until next week. Get your dates right,” he said gruffly.

“I—“ Tasha cleared her throat to help stop the impending onslaught of emotion. “I know, Daddy. But I won’t be in town next week so I thought we could celebrate today.” She pulled up a chair next to him. “And I made your favourite – red velvet cupcakes.”

He looked over, first at her then at the cupcakes on her lap. He turned back to his people watching. “I’m not hungry.”

“Dad, you need to eat something. Your nurses said you haven’t been touching your food this week and…”

The next thing she knew, an arm sliced through the air and knocked off all the cupcakes on her lap to the floor. “I said, I’m not hungry.”

It took all of Tasha’s inner strength to not answer back or display any form of emotion. Her dad was gripped with the most unique of brain tumors and it had slowly stripped away the happy easygoing personality he was known in Washington for. As she picked up the flattened cupcakes off the floor, she couldn’t help thinking about the dad she knew growing up, the one who was always there for all her school plays, the one who introduced her to his friends as the love of his life. The one who, until she moved away to college at 18, would kiss her forehead good night every night.

This man in front of her, the perennially angry man who she didn’t even know anymore, did not resemble the gentle loving father she grew up with. And although it broke her heart to check her father in the Cancer Care facility, there was no other way to save him. It didn’t hurt that her father’s collective influence in Washington as the recent White House Counsel got them a spot in a program that had a waiting list 20 years long.

“So Dad,” Tasha continued conversationally as she wiped the remnants of the cupcakes with a paper towel. “I found a copy of that movie, ‘Glengarry Glenn Ross’? Remember that? You loved that movie,” She looked up at him and smiled. “I thought maybe we could watch it tonight while we have dinner.”

“Where are you going?” he asked roughly.

Tasha looked up to see an angry fire in her father’s eyes. “Where?”

“Next weekend. Where are you going?”

Tasha smiled sheepishly. “Oh. Just to California, Dad. I booked a show Saturday night in Malibu. It pays a bit of money so I couldn’t say no.” She brushed some of his hair off his forehead. “It will help us with your hospital bills. And maybe getting us closer to buy back the house from the bank.”

He grunted. “That house is cursed.” Turning away again, I could feel more of the anger simmering close to the surface. “Your mother died in that house.”

She stopped herself from sighing. “I know, Dad, but that house has been with our family for generations. We have to at least try and buy it back.”

The look he shot her was full of venom. “Don’t try to whore out in California. I’ll find out if you do.”

“Dad…”

“And those earrings make you look like a slut. Take them off.”

Her fingers automatically touched the teardrop diamond earrings she was wearing and closed her eyes. It was the same pair he had given her on her graduation from university eight years ago. She remembered how his eyes sparkled as she put the brand new pair on.

“You look just like your mother, baby,” Jeff Callaghan hugged her tight, ignoring the fact that they were in the middle of a crowd of amused onlookers. “Those earrings are perfect on you.”

“Clearly I get my fantastic taste from you,” Tasha laughed. “I love it, and I love you.”

He pulled away and wiped his own tears. “Whatever did I do to deserve a daughter like you?” he said gently, and kissed her forehead. “And remember, it doesn’t matter how many boys you love. I’m always going to be the one who loved you first.”

Tasha slowly took the earrings off and put them in her pocket. Steeling herself for a long night of animosity from her father, she put a smile on her face. “It’s a good thing I have more cupcakes in my bag. Now who wants dessert early?”

*********

"Morning, Janie," Nick smiled at the older woman as he walked into the executive offices of Millennium Records. "That lipstick looks delish on you."

She smiled, her dark brown eyes shining with warmth. She’d long ago become immune to Nick’s flirtatious ways. "Hello, Nick. How was Baltimore?"

"Too cold for me," Nick grinned. "Kevin in there?"

She nodded. "Kev and Brian have been waiting for you. I'll buzz you right in."

He nodded in thanks and strolled through the heavy oak doors as soon as he heard the security buzzer go off.

It had been the first time he showed his face in the office after a week of “vacationing” in Baltimore. And knowing how Kevin was, Nick was expecting him to bitch out a storm. But he was prepared. He'd spent the last two days resting and playing with Matty. He had enough stored good humour to get him through the day, at the very least this meeting with Kevin and Brian.

"What up, dudes!" Nick greeted cheerily. "How're my brothas doin'?"

Kevin stood up from behind his table and gave him a warning look. "Nickolas…"

"Baltimore was great, I had a freaky time," Nick managed a hollow laugh as he glimpsed Brian's look of reproach. "Thanks for asking."

"You look pale." Brian said out of the blue.

"Too much of Baltimore gets to you this way. I'm good." Nick dropped himself on the sofa beside Brian. "So, how're things?"

"Nick, I have a bone to pick with you." Kevin said with a frown. He walked around the desk to stand a few meters in front of Nick.

"Don't you always, huh, old man?" he commented, raising an eyebrow.

"Billy's going apeshit, man. You left his album hanging."

"That's all? I already talked to him yesterday. We're resuming recording this afternoon."

"How come you weren't answering my messages?"

"I left my mobile at home, dude. Chill. I'm here now, aren't I?" Nick smiled. "And I have good news for you guys."

Kevin frowned. "I'm not done, Nick."

"Sure you are. I talked to Billy, his album's coming along as scheduled, and I'm getting back on the job this afternoon. What else could be wrong?"

"What's the good news?" Brian asked, more curious than he should be.

Nick's smile lit up his whole face. "I found her."

Brian blinked. So did Kevin.

"Found who?"

"Our next Grammy award winning artist."

"Huh?" Brian said, looking at his cousin.

"Her name's Tasha Callaghan and she's a singer at the Carlton Lounge. In Baltimore. Can you believe it? Who finds talent in Baltimore? She has the most amazing voice…"

"Hold on, hold on…" Kevin held up his hand and sat down on the chair in front of Nick. "You were in Baltimore five days and already you want to sign this…Tasha?"

"She's amazing, Kev, you should hear her."

"I'm not going to Baltimore to check her out, man." Brian shook his head.

"Neither am I. There's too much work to do."

Nick grinned. "That's the beauty of it all. She's coming here."

Kevin was surprised at the excitement in Nick's voice. "When?"

"Next weekend. I asked her to sing at the Showcase. Isn't that cool?"

Kevin glanced at Brian then Brian at Nick. The cousins looked pleasantly relieved. "Nick, we haven't heard you THIS excited over anything in a long time." Kevin remarked quietly, leaning against the armrest.

"Trust me, when you hear her sing, you'll be as crazy about her as I am." Nick announced, his voice turning serious. "And there's another thing."

Kevin and Brian looked at him expectantly.

"I want to manage her."

Brian's eyes bugged out instantly. "What?!"

Kevin frowned. "Did you just say manage?"

Nick stared at them with feign hurt. "I feel the love, guys, seriously."

Brain shook his head. "Sorry, Nick, but you've kind of taken us both by surprise today. First you say you want to sign up an unknown lounge singer, then in the next breath you say you want to manage her. And it's only Monday morning." He held a hand over his chest dramatically. "What've you got planned for tomorrow, huh, buck-o?"

Nick grinned. "You're a nut, Rok."

"Nick," Kevin interrupted, his brows furrowed with worry. "Are you sure about this? That you want to do this? You haven't tried managing an artist in…"

"Three years, since my wedding, I know." Nick's eyes darkened with emotion. "I know I said I was getting out of managing and performing for a while, but Tasha's special. I want to help her out every step of the way."

"Why?" Kevin was suspicious by nature, so it wasn't surprising for anyone in the room to hear his caustic tone. "Are you sleeping with her?"

Nick frowned at his accusation. "Don’t be an asshole, Kev."

"So you aren't?" Brian asked in turn. "Because if you're only doing this because she's a great lay, then…"

"Shit," Nick cursed, standing up, "Stop treating me like a randy teenager for a friggin' minute and trust me, alright?" He tossed a DVD on Kevin's lap. "THAT's my proof, Richardson. Watch that and you both will understand what I mean."

Nick then turned and made his way to the door.

"Nick," Brian stood up as he called out to his best friend. "We trust you, but we're your brothers too. We're only looking out for you."

Nick turned to Brian with a frown. "I'm thirty-one going on fifty, Rok. With the way my life's been, no one can look out for me better than I can. So just leave me the fuck alone."

With that, he slammed the door behind him.

**********

"Daddy?"

Nick looked up from his place in front of the piano and ran a quick hand in front of his tired eyes.

He smiled. "Hey there, munchkin." Nick lifted his eyes to give a curious look at Damon, the Compound’s senior security guy and Matty's occasional ‘nanny.’ "Anything going on, Damon?"

The huge black man just shrugged and nudged Matty inside the studio. "He wanted to see you. Go on, little guy, I'll wait for you outside."

Matty didn't hesitate to waddle straight into his father's open arms. Nick hugged him tightly as he pulled him up on his lap.

The two-year-old giggled. "Daddy tickles."

Nick rubbed his stubbled chin against his cheek. "Whatcha laughing at, huh, dude?" He then dropped a kiss atop his head. "Had your lunch?"

Matty nodded. "Samich and I-cweam. Damon give." He held up a little finger and touched Nick's nose. "Daddy eat?"

"I'm not hungry, little man. Daddy's okay."

"Daddy eat I-cweam?"

Nick smiled. "Maybe later, dude. I'm working right now. What did you and Damon do all morning?"

"Tendo."

"Nintendo?"

He nodded excitedly. "And books."

"Damon read you books?"

"And Cookie Monster and beach." Matty gave his father a proud grin. "Matty ride boat!"

Nick laughed and hugged Matty tight. "That's cool, dude."

"I rock?" he asked in his little boy voice.

Nick nodded and smiled wider. "Yes, bud, you SO rock." He turned his body so both of them faced the piano keys. "Wanna hear what I'm working on?"

Matty nodded as if in understanding.

So Nick obliged, and started playing ‘Scream,’ a song he'd written a few years back, when he'd lost his wife.

Nick started to hum, not trusting his voice to sing the words that were too much a part of his soul. It was a song about loving, about holding on and never letting go.

And most importantly, it was a song about remembering.

Faith. For years now, whenever he closed his eyes, it was her face he saw. She took over his dreams and conscious thought, and lately too, when he'd look down at his son's face, he remembered Faith's pert little nose, and her soft blond curls.

Faith's laugh was more like a childish giggle, and whenever Nick heard it, he couldn't help but laugh with her. Her wide blue eyes kept no secrets and showered him with more love than he thought he deserved. Her hugs were addicting too because she'd hold onto him so tight, he felt they were one. She'd always smelled of mint and cookie dough, tempting him sometimes to the point of madness.

"Daddy sing?" Matty spoke loudly, cutting Nick from his thoughts.

"Huh?"

Matty leaned and dropped his little hands on the white keys. "I pay, you sing?"

Nick shook his head, but kept his smile. "Nice try, buddy, but Daddy don't sing no more, remember?"

Matty frowned for a minute. "Howie sing?"

Nick nodded. "Yep."

"Bri-bri sing?"

"Uh-huh."

"Kewy sing?"

"Oh yeah."

"Unca C sing?"

"Sometimes, sure."

"Daddy sing?"

Nick shook his head and sighed. "No, Matty, Daddy doesn't sing anymore."

"Matty sing?"

"Matty can sing ALL the songs he wants to," Nick answered with a laugh. "Wanna sing for me, big guy?"

Nodding his blond head enthusiastically, he shouted, "BARNEY!!!"

"Alrighty then!" Nick placed his fingers on the key, and started the chords to the 'I LOVE YOU' song.

"Hey!!!" a loud familiar voice shouted from the doorway behind them. "Y'all are starting the party without me?"

Father and son turn and see Matty's uncle drop his overnight bag on the floor and grin.

JC Chasez, formerly known as a fifth of NSYNC, is now known in the Carter household as Uncle C, Matty's favorite uncle. He was Faith's older brother, and therefore truly family.

"Unca C!!!" Matty jumped down from Nick's lap and ran giggling into JC's arms.

"Hey there, you little monster you," JC growled as he picked up his nephew and threw him up in the air. After catching him, he pulled her close to him and gave him a tight hug, the stubble from JC's day old beard tickling Matty's cheek.

"C! Ticko!" Matty giggled, throwing his arms around JC's neck.

Nick shook his head and stood up. "Welcome home, C," he greeted with a nod. "How was Europe?"

JC looked up, blue meeting blue. "Boring as hell, bro. Elton John was a royal pain in the A-S-S." To Matty, he said, "Didja miss me, Matty?"

The little kid nodded. "I missed you this much!" He extended his arms to his sides.

JC's eyes widened dramatically. "That much? Aww, man, I missed you too. I got you a bunch of stuff from my trip. Wanna see?"

He grinned a toothy grin. "Where?"

"It's with Damon outside," JC announced, putting him down.

"Me go see?" Matty asked, poised to run. "C come?"

"You go ahead, I need to talk to Daddy."

"Kay, bye Daddy!" Then he broke out at a run out the door.

JC turned his attention back to his brother-in-law. "Matty's gotten bigger, Nick. You should’ve warned me."

Nick nodded and gave him a half-grin. "He surprises me everyday too. Come 'ere and gimme a hug."

JC walked on over to Nick and put his arms around the taller man warmly. Whether Nick admitted it or not, he missed JC's presence around the compound. They'd grown to be good friends since he met Faith, and he trusted the man with his life. He WAS family after all.

"Gawd you're scrawny," Nick grumbled. "Those English not treating you good?"

"I missed the Mickey Dees," JC chuckled. "Somehow tea and scones don't do it for me."

"Did you and Elton finish the soundtrack on time?" JC had been away for three months to help produce the soundtrack to Sir Elton John's new animated film.

"Just barely. The man is a nutcase, remind me never to produce for him again."

"He's British, and he's a genius." Nick reasoned matter-of-factly. "That's explanation enough."

"How was Baltimore?" JC countered softly, his brows furrowed with concern. "I talked to Mom yesterday and she said you were over there for a while.

Nick hesitated. Talking about Faith was still a sensitive subject, especially now that he'd recently visited her grave.

"Did you have a nice visit?" JC prodded, unwilling to let him retreat within himself again.

He nodded, much to JC's relief. "I hung out with Karen and Roy for a few hours. We talked about Matty a lot." Then he grinned. "They're coming down here to visit for Thanksgiving, by the way, so if you want to disappear, I gave you fair warning, dude."

JC smiled. "Nah, Mom's on my case enough about still being single. I don't want to give her more ammunition by pulling another disappearing act for the holidays." He regarded Nick with concern still. "Are you okay?"

Nick's blond head nodded. "It's good, C. I just need to get out of this funk, you know?"

"And I have just the thing, bro." JC put an arm around Nick's shoulders. "Do the words ‘ARKHAM CITY for PS3 pre-release’ mean anything to you?"

Nick laughed as he got what JC meant. "Dang, man, if you brought me home one of those, I'll kiss the ground you walk on, dude."

"Then start puckering up, man, I'm your new best friend." With a laugh, JC pulled on Nick and made their way out the studio.