Chapter 7

Tasha couldn’t put the words together if her life depended on it.

“Tash?” Nick peered at her downcast face. “Seriously, you’re freaking me out a little here. What kind of dealbreaker are we talking about? Between a scale of ‘schmuck ex-boyfriend’ and ‘meth dependency’. Give me a general idea.”

She knew he was trying to lighten the mood, but frankly she was embarrassed to be even admitting this to begin with.

“There’s a...video.” She looked over to him hesitantly. “A couple, actually.”

Nick looked confused. “What kind of video?”

Tasha started cracking her knuckles in nervousness. “I was...seeing someone when I was on tour with the Gyros and we were...we were being drunk and silly.”

Nick blinked. “Silly.”

“We taped some things for us, to remember each other for after the tour...”

His eyes were unreadable. “Are you talking about a sex tape?”

“Tapes.” Her face was deep red as she struggled to explain. “We had agreed to stop seeing each other when the tour ended but then I got a call from my father, two weeks before our last show, saying my mother wasn’t doing so well. We cancelled the rest of the tour so I could go home.”

He waited for her to continue.

“I broke it off before I left but there were words that were said. I never meant to hurt anyone. But it wasn’t going to work for us.”

“Why not?”

“She was married.”

“She?”

Tasha nodded. “She was our tour manager. Belinda. We’d been touring for two years and close quarters and all...” She gave him a sheepish smile. “I’m sure you remember how that felt.”

He nodded, seeming to understand exactly what she meant.

“A month after I broke it off, and the day of my mother’s funeral, the videos started showing up on the Internet. Belinda was angry and wanted to hurt me and my family. My dad, he’s in politics so in addition to bad timing, his career was taking a big hit.”

“Was that when you disappeared?”

She nodded. “I moved to Canada...Montreal almost immediately. I figured no one knew me there, while Dad took care of damage control.”

“And you never came back.”

She struggled not to start crying as she remembered her pleas to her father to let her come home, to help him grieve and deal with the loss of her mother. “Not until last year.”

“And in Montreal? What did you do?”

“Odd jobs here and there. Mainly studio work. I was a vocal sessionist for a few studios. Barista. I make a mean latte.”

Nick smiled. “You may have to prove that.”He straightened in his seat. “Why did you come back last year?”

“My dad, he’s…sick. And I’ve been taking care of him for the last year.” She stood up and paced. This story was harder to tell. “He has an advanced stage brain tumor. I found out a year ago, he’d known for a few years now. But we were lucky, he got into a clinical trial at Johns Hopkins where they need him to receive treatments while in residence for 18 months.” She wrung her fingers and dared to look at Nick. “Although the treatment itself is covered by my dad’s insurance, the day to day cost isn’t cheap. And I have no insurance. We’ve pretty much depleted whatever money I had in savings and had to sell the house.”

Nick nodded. “And you work yourself to the bone because you need to pay medical bills.”

“Pretty much.”

“How’s your dad now?”

She shrugged. “He’s there. The drugs are working, I think, to slow down the growth of the tumor. But certain parts of him are different. He’s not who he used to be. But I’m hoping the treatment will give us a few more years together.”

She took a deep breath and sat back down to her seat. “I’m surprised you haven’t started running away yet.”

“Over a few sex tapes and a sick parent? You oversold your secrets, Tash.” He raised an eyebrow questioningly. “Unless there’s more?”

She shook her head. “No, that’s everything.”

He moved his chair closer to her. “My turn then.”

Tasha braced herself for what he was going to say.

“First of all, I’m sorry to hear about your dad. It’s hard watching people you love suffer. I know I’m still trying to get past what my wife had to suffer after the accident and before she died. It’s not easy.” He took her hand. “I’ll do whatever I can to help. Really.”

Her eyes started shining with unshed tears.

“And the big bad sex tapes? You were worried about the sex tapes?”

She nodded.

He shook his head and laughed. “Baby, everyone has sex tapes now. Everyone. I think even me, but the Black and Blue tour was a blur so I can’t be entirely sure.”

She opened her mouth to protest. “I know what you’re about to say but it doesn’t matter who was in the tape with you. Married, single, man, woman, many women. Were there other women?” he asked as an afterthought.

She raised her eyebrow in mild annoyance.

“Right. Not important. Do you know if it’s still floating around on the Internet somewhere?”

She shook her head. “I’m not sure. The two sites that had them took them down when the governor’s office ordered an injunction.”

“Do you have a copy of the tapes?”

She blinked and hesitated. “Yes.”

“Does Belinda still have copies?”

“I know the physical copies she had were confiscated by Dad’s lawyers, as well as her laptop, where her digital copy was. But I don’t think that matters, if it was already on the Internet. I mean, those things stay there forever.”

Nick nodded. “What did your dad’s lawyers do to the copies and the laptop?”

“According to them, my dad burned everything one afternoon in our backyard. They were witnesses. I don’t know for sure because I was already in Canada when they were able to track Belinda down.”

He nodded. “Where are your copies?”

“They’re in a safe deposit box in my bank in Baltimore.”

“And you never tried burning them, getting rid of them?”

She shook her head. “I did but the tapes were a good chunk of my band’s last few days on tour. I’m a bit sentimental and didn’t want to lose it.”

Nick smiled in understanding. “Okay. As long as it’s safe.” He hesitated at the next question. “There aren’t any more rogue...uh...girlfriends, are there?”

Tasha’s eyes widened as she realized what his real question was. “Oh. No. I’m not...Belinda was the only woman I dated. I was young and a bit, um, experimental.”

“Ah. Okay. Boyfriends then?”

“Not since Georgetown. Even then, they were pretty mild mannered. No one as crazy as Belinda.”

He took a few seconds to consider his next question. “Any history with drugs, alcohol?”

She shook her head. “No. Only the occasional drink. Never smoked, no drugs.”

Nick smiled. “Tash, you’re practically a nun. Sex tapes notwithstanding.”

He smiled in spite of her frown. “I think you’re overthinking this whole thing.”

“I don’t think you’re thinking about it enough,” she shot back, starting to get annoyed at how cavalier he was acting.

“Tash, I have one of the best PR teams in the business. This is nothing. You should see what kind of spinning we had to do when I was managing Jenny Lewis. I almost didn’t want to touch that with a 100 foot pole. But she was the darling of the indie set after we were done with her.”

She was curious. “What was the scandal?”

He shook a finger at her. “Nuh uh. I wouldn’t be a good former manager if I told you, now would I? My point is, if I were your manager, nobody would even know about the tapes. Because we’d keep the issue sealed so tightly shut, not even the FBI would find it.”

“But if you were my manager, if those tapes came out, your reputation would be affected as well as mine. I don’t want that.”

Nick blinked in surprise. “This is what you’re worried about? My reputation? Tash, honestly, I haven’t had a reputation to worry about in a while. Under the radar, remember? And besides, it’ll be MY job to worry about YOUR reputation, and not the other way around.”

She leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest. She was quiet for a few moments before standing up and pacing again. “You don’t have to do this, you know. Managing me means managing my life, my baggage.”

He stood up behind her and said quietly, “I’m not going anywhere, Tasha.”

She shook her head. “But if you change your mind…”

“I told you, nothing you say will make me change my mind. And I’m here for you. If we do this together, you need to start trusting that I’ll do everything it takes to make this work for you.”

“But my life, it’s complicated. And my dad...”

He moved to her quickly and gripped her arms. “Hey. Hey. Stop that.”

His face was calm and determined. “I haven’t known you for long, Tasha, but I know you’re dedicated, driven and freakin’ talented. You show as much passion for your music as you do for protecting your family. You deserve all the success we can offer you. A sex tape isn’t going to change that. You will NOT fail, because I won’t let you.” He seemed to steel himself as he said the next words. “I believe in you, Tasha.”

Tasha noticed a telltale cringe from one side of his face. She cracked a smile. She couldn’t help it. “That was the cheesiest----“

He fought against smiling back. “Shut up. I’m trying to give you a pep talk.”

“Did you just ‘Ryan Gosling’ me?” she whispered, unable to hold back giggles.

He opened his mouth then closed it back again. Nick shrugged, giving in to the grin. “I don’t even know what that means.”

“You know, all sensitive dreamy RomCom male lead, happy ending in the third act kind of dialogue.”

“I need to work on my delivery.” He laughed. “It was the cringe, wasn’t it? You saw the cringe.”

“It was hard to miss,” she said, her smile growing wider. “But you sounded sincere. Bonus Gosling points for that.”

“You’re too generous.” He flung open his arms. “Okay. Bring it in. We’re hugging. It’s happening.” He pulled her into his arms and held her for a good minute, and tightly. “This family, we’re huggers, so you need to get used to this.”

She nodded against his chest, amazed at how quickly her smiles came when she was around him.

When they pulled away from each other, she asked “Why? Why me?”

He smiled. “That first night, at the lounge? I saw you and you were singing this song by Bob Dylan, and the lyrics were about love, and was so full of faith, so goddamn persistent…but you sang it with an underlying sadness, like you were grieving because you knew how this story was going to end. But you sang it anyway, because every line gave you just a bit more hope than the last.”

Tasha smiled. “That’s my Dad’s favourite song. I used to sing it to him all the time when I was little.”

He nodded, sadness clouding his eyes. “That was the first song I sang to my wife, on the night we met. Hearing it and hearing your grief made me feel…well, less alone. And the hope in your voice was just contagious. I came in that lounge ready to get rip roaring drunk, but I left with a smile. That was me every single day that week. And that’s when I knew you had something special, Tasha.”

He pulled on her hands and covered them with his. “I want to bottle that feeling up and give it to everyone who’s lost someone, to everyone who’s had their heart broken, to everyone in pain.” He smiled. “You’re made for this, Tash. You owe it to yourself.”

Everything he said sounded so right, so enticing. How can she say no?

“I have to think about all of this, Nick. I can’t just…”

Nick nodded and smiled. “I understand. Sleep on it. Talk to your people. And after what you just told me, I’m going to make a few changes to my proposed contract and give it to you to look at in the morning, okay?”

Tasha nodded. “Thanks for listening, Nick. I’m glad we talked.”

“I don’t know nearly enough, Tasha. But we’ll talk about the rest of it soon. In the meantime, let’s finish dinner so you and JC can get some studio time in. Okay?”

She nodded. “What’s on the agenda for tomorrow?”

“A full day, for sure. Make sure you’re up and ready by 8:30. Leigh Dorough, Howie’s wife, is in charge of the showcase so she’ll be sending wardrobe over very early, so you can choose what you’ll be wearing on stage. And to the photoshoot.”

Tasha blinked. “What photoshoot?”

“Yours. We need professional photos for all talent performing tomorrow. Assuming you don’t have any.”

“Oh my. All that for one show?”

“Not just a show, Tash. It’s the first day of the rest of your life.”