[ - ]
Table of Contents [Report This]
Printer Chapter or Story Microsoft Word Chapter or Story
- Text Size +
Chapter Five

"He's not a he," Eddie said.

"Holy mother of God almighty," I whispered. Charley stood up, dropping the fitness magazine she'd been reading onto the table top. She was nearly as tall as me. It's so few and rare between the chicks that are as tall as me. I snuck a glance down at her shoes, and was excited to see she was wearing flat running sneakers. Sexy. I peeked at her breasts on my way back up to her eyes. "You're my new body guard?" I asked.

Charley stuck out her hand. "Nice to see you again, Nick," she said, "And I can tell by the drool on your mouth that you feel the same."

Drool on my --? Oh crap. I quickly reached up and wiped my mouth. "Again?" I asked as I took her hand.

She made a face and wiped her hand on her cargo pants. Idiot that I am, I'd shook her hand with the same hand I'd just wiped drool off my mouth with. Smooth. "Yes," she said, "Again. Don't you remember me?"

"'Cos you were in my dreams, right?" I asked in a husky voice.

"Charlotte Avery?" she asked, "Tampa Bay Elementry?"

I choked.

Eddie's voice came from behind me, "Old friends?"

"I pantsed him once," she said, smirking.

I wanted to die. Right there, on the spot. Where the hell was Billy the Kid when you needed him? Seriously. He could've busted onto the bus then and shot me and I would've jumped up to make sure he caught me instead of whatever furniture he would've hit instead of me. I stared at Charlotte Avery - my arch nemesis since second grade - and wondered why the hell my six year old self had neglected getting a freaking restraining order. This would not be happening if I'd just been on the ball about such things at an earlier age.

"But they said your name was Charley," I stammered.

"That's what my friends call me," she replied with a shrug. "Charlotte's kinda a mouthful. Plus it sounds too... girly."

"Well, you are a girl," I stammered. Which reminded me. I swung around to face Eddie. "Seriously? You request a new bodyguard for me because I'm being shot at by a psychopath and they send you a girl to protect me?!"

"They said they were sending their best," Eddie replied with a shrug.

"Their best is not a pathetic weakling of a --"

Before I could get the sentence out all the way, I was flat on my back on the floor of the bus. Charlotte-slash-Charley was looking down at me, hands on her hips, like she hadn't done a single thing. "Excuse me?"

Eddie backed up. "I'll um let you guys... catch up..." he said, ducking off the bus quickly. Some manager-slash-friend he is, abandoning me to be killed by Xena Warrior Princess.

"I just - I don't understand why a woman is better than some of the big beefy dudes they've sent in the past is all," I said. I wondered what she'd done to get me on the floor. She'd been so fast that all I'd felt was the shift in gravity as my ass struck the floor.

"I was hoping you'd grown out of being a sexist pig, but I guess not," she said, rolling her eyes.

I struggled to my feet. "I'm not a sexist pig," I snapped. "I just know that chicks don't belong being bodyguards to guys who are being shot at by psyochotic farmers."

"And why not?" Charley demanded, "If we can protect you better than the so-called big beefy dudes can then why not?" She pointed at the door, "From what I hear, your big beefy dudes let a pipsqueak with a gun in here while you were hoofin' his girlfriend."

"I wasn't hoofing anyone," I said, "I was having sex."

Charley rolled her eyes. "The point is, I could take any one of those guys in a heart beat and, like you on the floor there a second ago, they'd have no fricking idea what hit'em."

I rolled my eyes right back. "Please," I said, "The only reason you even got me on the floor just then was 'cos I wasn't expecting it."

"Says the kid whose pants were my tree house flag for like a year."

"I was in second grade," I snapped.

Charley laughed. "Like it makes a difference."

"I work out," I snapped.

Charley raised an eyebrow.

"I work out everyday," I added. I flexed my arm.

Charley studied it a moment. "Impressive," she replied dryly.

"Yeah, that's right," I gloated. "Like I said, you only got me down because I wasn't prepared."

Charley held out her arms. "Prove it then."

"What?"

"You think I'm such a pathetic girl then prove it. Fight me." She stood there, waiting for me to advance.

Her willingness made me uneasy.

"You're a girl," I replied, thinking I'd found my out. "I can't fight girls."

Charley smirked, "Scared are we?"

"No."

"It's okay Nick," she said, "There's no shame in just admitting that a girl could kick your ass." She grinned, "Oh wait. I already did that before, huh?"

"Dumb bitch," I muttered. I decided to go to bed. So I pushed around her and let myself into my bedroom area. "Keep the stupid hillbilly away at least," I said, turning back to look at her. She had a bemused expression on her face. I paused before pulling the curtain shut. "And don't try anything freaky while I'm sleeping."

"I wouldn't dream of it," Charley called. "Nighty-night, snookums."

I yanked the curtain shut and made a mental note to make Eddie send her back.