The Truth Between The Lies

Copyright 2012

By Rachel

Chapter 16

Aspen

When I got back home, it was very quiet. That worried me. Did AJ kidnap his daughter and run for the border? Why was I letting my imagination get the best of me? If I didn’t trust him, I would have never let him be alone with Reese. Things were spiraling out of control all around me from my sisters, to AJ, to everything in-between. I wasn’t sure I liked this feeling.

AJ was sitting on the couch when I entered my apartment. He just stared at me as I walked in.

“Where’s Reese?” I asked as I took a seat on the chair furthest away from him.

“She’s napping. After you left, I gave her a bath and got her dressed. Then she fell asleep when I was reading her a story.” AJ said softly. My heart was breaking. Clearly, he already loved his daughter unconditionally.

“Thank you.” I could barely get the words out. My mind was a tornado of emotions.

“Are you okay?” AJ moved to the floor in front of me. He placed his hands on my knees. Why was he being so nice to me? I knew he was pissed about my earlier revelation.

“I’m peachy keen.” I grumbled. I wouldn’t let myself cry in front of him. I had to stay strong and not let my resolve down.

“Is everything okay with you sisters?”

I wish he would just get to the point and ask about Reese. I couldn’t deal with all this mindless chatter.

“Not really sure. Jade and Lilly are fine for the moment, but we have so much shit between us. We’ve been hiding stuff from each other for years. My family has always been fucked up. This just proves that it never ends.” I remarked bitterly.  I loved my sisters, but I never realized how different we were. Sure, Lilly and Jade were more alike in everything than I was, but time seemed to put a wedge between us.

“Every family has their issues.” AJ rubbed my thigh. “No matter what, you still love each other.”

“I know we do. It’s just that I’m so different from them. They are beautiful, charming, poised, and everything I’m not. They know how to be flirty and sexy. They enjoy sex.” As soon as I commented about sex, I shut up. I couldn’t believe I let that come out of my mouth.

“You don’t enjoy sex?” AJ looked at me perplexed. I forgot he was the sex god of Backstreet.

“I did once.” I blushed a deep shade of crimson. “I haven’t had a lot of experience when it comes to sex. I did it with Sebastian to please him. It was never about me.”

“What about that one time?” He pulled me to the floor with him. Both of us leaned back against the chair.

“It was with you AJ. I know I was drunk, but I was feeling things I never had with Sebastian. It was the first time…” I looked away with embarrassment.

“Aspen please don’t shy away from me. I want the truth from you.”

“It was the first time I had an orgasm.” My face was flushed.

AJ cupped my chin and brought my eyes up to his. “I’m glad that I was the first man to make you cum.” He placed a gentle kiss on my cheek.

“But you don’t even remember it?” I couldn’t let myself get pulled into his spell. I wasn’t meant to be in love.

“I’m sorry, Aspen. I wish I could remember. I see how much it means to you, even four years later.” He played with my fingers.

“It didn’t mean anything. It was one night.” I pushed my feelings aside.

“Bullshit!” He exclaimed.

“Just cause you’re Alexander Fucking McLean does not make you God’s gift to all women. It was one night. Granted the best one I ever had, but I’ve been over you for years.” There was no way I was going to let him know the truth. Apparently, we had somewhat of an attraction to each other. I wasn’t going to push for a relationship.

“Really? Cause I don’t believe that.” AJ backed away from me. “So, I got you pregnant that night?”

“Yes.” I whispered.

“Why the fuck didn’t you contact me? It pisses me off that you hid it from me.” His voice grew louder.

“How was I supposed to contact you? You’re celebrity. No one would have believed me. I couldn’t just send you a fan letter.” I rolled my eyes. Was AJ really that stupid?

“If you had wanted me to know, you would have found a way.” He grumbled as he got up off the floor.

“And put that into the media. I’m sure it would have looked great to your precious fans that some woman was claiming her baby was yours. No thank you. I value mine and my daughter’s privacy.”  I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to make the tension go away.

“So it was okay for me to miss three years of my daughter’s life. If we didn’t meet yesterday, I still wouldn’t have known.” He yelled at me.

“I don’t know what you want me to do. I’m sorry.” I screamed back.

“I want to be in Reese’s life.” He demanded while pacing.

“I’m not going to keep her from you. She already adores you.” I said sadly. Whenever AJ was around I felt unloved by Reese. She couldn’t help it; she was just a little girl. What if Reese chose him over me? I would end up alone.

“Thank you. I want to be a part of her life. Reese needs a dad. I will help financially, too.” He said seriously.

“You don’t have to. We can set up visitation when you get back from touring.” I looked out the window. The sun was shining, but in my heart it was raining.

“I want more than just the weekends. I’m not going to be that type of dad. I want to be in her life as much as possible. I already love Reese. From the first moment when she ran out of the shop, I loved her.”  He whispered. For the first time in years tears started falling from my eyes. He truly meant it. I felt like shit for keeping him away all these years.

 Reese ran into the living room. “Mommy, you’re back. AJ, you stayed.”

“How was your nap?” I bent down and picked up Reese.

“It was gweat.” She giggled.

When I turned around to face AJ, his face was pale. It was like he had seen a ghost. Something was wrong. “Reese, would you like to have a tea party with you dolls and stuffed animals?”

“Sure, mommy.” She planted a kiss on my face.

“Great. Go get your dolls and animals and bring them in the living room. I’ll set up the table for you.” I let Reese down and she ran to her room. It would take her a while to get what she needed.

“AJ, what the hell is wrong? Are you okay?” He was still pasty looking.

He didn’t say anything, but lifted up his shirt and turned around. On his back was the identical four leaf clover tattoo I had on the small of my back. It even had the saying Feeling Lucky on it.

“Why do you have my tattoo on your back?” I was confused. I started getting Reese’s table ready.

“Aspen, it’s the one thing I fucking remember from that incredible night.” He moved in closer to me, wrapping his arms around my waist. “That tattoo haunted me for months. One day I broke down and drew it. Then I got it tattooed on my back. The guys questioned me repeatedly about it, but I never told them why I got it. I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

I didn’t know what to say. I grabbed AJ’s head and pulled it to mine. The sensation of his lips on mine stirred up feelings I didn’t ever remember having. Something about being wrapped up in him was right. As his tongue entered my mouth, I tried to make my mind shut off. Of course I couldn’t do that. Was I ready to take it to the next level with AJ? Sure there was lustful animal attraction, but I hardly knew him. There was no way I could base a relationship on just sex. I wasn’t that type of woman. Sex was my hang up; there was no way I was going to get over it any time soon.

“Ooh, mommy kissin’ AJ.” Reese said and fell to the floor in a fit of giggles. Luckily she fell on a pile of stuffed animals.

AJ and I broke apart. He had a big smile on his face.  AJ bent down and started placing little kisses all over Reese’s face. She couldn’t stop laughing. Even I had a smile on my face. AJ already loved Reese with all his heart.

I looked at the clock and realized the time. “I hate to break this love fest up, but you need to get to the venue. You don’t want to be late.”

“Shit. I forgot about the show.” He covered his mouth when Reese’s eyes started to pop out her head. “Oops, I didn’t mean to say that. Sorry, Reese’s Pieces.”

“That’s okay. You pologized.” She smiled at him, her blue eyes sparkling.

“Well, sweetheart, I have to go to work. I will come back and play again, if that’s okay with you.” He gave her a hug.

“Pwease come back. I love you, AJ.” Reese reached up and placed a kiss on his cheek.

I wiped the tears fall from my eyes. I didn’t want AJ to see me breaking down. I was happy that Reese loved her daddy.

“I love you, too, Reese.” Then he stood up and walked over to me. His eyes were glassy from unshed tears. “Thank you for giving me the best gift of my entire life.”

“You’re welcome. See you tonight.” I watched as AJ left my apartment.

He slowly retreated down the stairs and ran into Lilly. “Hey, everything okay?”

“Not really, but it’s nothing I care to discuss at the moment.” She put on a fake smile. “Is everything okay with my sister? One of us deserves to be happy.”

“It’s still complicated. I’ll let Aspen fill you in. I’m late. See ya later, Lilly.”

With that AJ was off to the venue and Lilly was off to get ready for the concert with me and Jade. She hoped things would turn out for the concert. She wanted to enjoy time with her sisters and make my birthday special.  She prayed Jade would want it to be a special day.