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Author's Chapter Notes:

 

 

"Siberia"

When you come back I won't be here
She said and gently pulled me near
If you want to talk you can call
And no it's not your fault

I just smiled and said let go of me
But there's something that I've just gotta know
Did someone else steal my part?
She said it's not my fault

Then my heart did time in Siberia
Was waiting for the lie to come true
'Cause it's all so dark and mysterious
When the one you want doesn't want you too

I was drifted in between
Like I was on the outside looking in, yeah yeah
In my dreams you are still here
Like you've always been

Oh yeah, my heart did time in Siberia
Was waiting for the lie to come true
'Cause it's all so dark and mysterious
When the one you want doesn't want you too

I gave myself away completely
But you just couldn't see me
Though I was sleeping in your bed
'Cause someone else was on your mind
In your head

When I came back she wasn't there
Just a note left on the stairs
If you want to talk give me a call

My heart did time in Siberia
Was waiting for the lie to come true
'Cause it's all so dark and mysterious
When the one you want doesn't want you too
When the one that you want doesn't want you

My heart did time in Siberia
Was waiting for the lie to come true
'Cause it's all so dark and mysterious
When the one you want doesn't want you too

Siberia, Siberia
When the one you want doesn't want you too

 

Brian sat, by his self, at the round table near the buffet with a plate of food in front of him. He thought about how messy his life had been these last couple of months. Especially the situation with Leighanne. They had been married for a couple of years and everything seemed fine. There was absolutely no reason to doubt that anything wasn’t as it was supposed to be.

He remembered that particular day as if it was a movie. He went out with Nick to have lunch and to record some stuff in the studio at Nick’s place. It was a very productive day with a lot of laughter. He and Nick where friends from the beginning of the Backstreetboys. They had been through so much together. Their relationship was based on trust and loyalty. Nick was the little brother he never had and they grew up together. Nick had been telling him about a girl he had been seeing. He wanted to introduce her into the group.

It was a joy for Brian to see Nick this happy. Nick had been in a lot of drama earlier with his little brother and sisters while the recordings of the Carters took place. He had a lot of unfinished business that needed to be taken care off during that time. It was in that time that Nick and Brian got in an argument that almost cost them their friendship and almost was the final end of the Backstreetboys. Nick had been experimenting with drugs and alcohol. He partied a lot and basically turned his back on the rest of the group. When Brian tried to talk to him about his behavior Nick shouted at him that he wanted to be left alone. Nick yelling at Brian that he needed to f*ck of to go read his bible was the final ingredient to almost destroy a friendship that already lasted for years.

 Brian punched Nick on his nose and stormed out.

After being on non speaking terms for a while Nick came back to his senses he approached Brian to apologize and Brian accepted it. This all happened in the last year.

Back to that day Nick showed a picture of his new girlfriend. Her name was Lauren. He told Brian that she was making him happy. A normal girl who loved him for him and not for his status as a Backstreetboy. He even introduced her to his parents and even his mom loved her.

After the lunch and the recordings they drank a cold beer outside in the garden and Brian decided to go home a little earlier than he told Leighanne he would. He wanted to surprise her and spend a romantic night with her. So on the way back home he bought her flowers from her favorite florist and a bottle of pink Champaign.

He came home and noticed that she wasn’t in the living room or in the garden. The tools of the gardener where all over the terrace as if he’d left in an hurry. He decided to talk to him about the next day.

“Leighanne?” he raised his voice in the hallway. Still no sign. That was weird. Maybe she was upstairs. She probably took a little nap before she started to cook dinner. Maybe he could join her. Brian walked up the stairs, silently.

He opened the  Oakwood bedroom door and  found her in bed with the gardener. At first he thought his eyes played tricks on him. Only the moaning from Leighanne and the gardener quickly got him out of that thought. To make matters even worse, she wore the lingerie Brian gave her last month to celebrate the anniversary of their wedding day.

Like a zombie he’d left the bedroom and headed downstairs. He needed to get away from that place.

He vaguely remembered something about her running after him with nothing more than a sheet covering her naked body shouting and crying that this wasn’t what it looked like and begging him to come back so that she could explain. Well the image of her on top of the gardener, partially naked and all sweaty and moaning in the bed that Brian and Leighanne had purchased right after their honeymoon didn’t need any further explanation.

He grabbed his coat and keys from the dining table and rushed outside to his car. On automatic pilot he drove back to Nick’s house.

Nick was in shock when Brian told him what happened.

“Oh my God, Brian no. Tell me your joking”.

“I’m not, it’s done” tears appeared in Brian’s eyes.

Nick prepared a bed for him in the guestroom and told Brian he could stay as long as he wanted.

That first night Brian didn’t sleep at all. Every time he closed his eyes the picture of Leighanne with the gardener.

The next day and the other days that followed brought him a tsunami of text messages and missed calls from Leighanne.

Brian felt like a zombie. Days turned into nights and sleepless nights into blurry days. He felt hurt. How could she. The woman he loved so very, very much cheated on him. The one guarantee he thought he had turned out to be a big lie.