To say that things had improved since the morning at Marilyn and Alan’s house would be an understatement. Nick wasn’t sure why it hadn’t happened before but ever since they started clearing the air about the little things that were bugging them they’d become comfortable enough with each other to keep doing it.

Rather than letting something build up to the point that it turned into a fight that would calmly tell each other how they felt without fear of judgement. The system was working better than it had in any previous relationship Nick had been in and it gave him hope for their future. If they could continue with total, open honesty he could see them being together for a long time to come.

They weren’t totally out of the woods by any means but he could see the light at the end of the tunnel. There were times though, when Nick remembered the moment at the club when Peggy had told him they had made a mistake, that he wondered if things would inevitably end up that way again. Like it was destiny for their relationship to not work.

As chunks of that drunken night had come back to him, like recollecting a series of dreams, he realized that Peggy had been really ready to break up with him. She had been suggesting taking a break and although it may have been her own alcohol consumption combined with being overemotional he knew there was some real issues at the root of it all.

He was going to work for their relationship though, just like Marilyn had told them they needed to do. He started by making a vow to cut hard liquor out of his life. He would have the occasional beer or glass or wine but there would be no more excessive drinking. There couldn’t be if he didn’t want to wake up one morning and find that Peggy was gone.

In an effort to try and repair any potential damage between her closest friends and her boyfriend Peggy had planned to start arranging outings, kicking off with a round of golf with a bunch of people that had been at the club. Unfortunately, after his little display many of the people Nick had met and others he never got the opportunity to before he was drunk and delirious, including the girls who he had promised photos, declined the invitation.

Regardless, Nick was looking forward to hanging out with Tommy again and his cousin Peter. Because there ended up being an even grouping of four guys and four girls they were splitting up, competing against each other in a made-up tournament. Losers had to buy dinner at the clubhouse after they finished the round. Nick was fairly confident that the guys would take the trophy (if there were one) just because none of the girls save for Peggy seemed particularly athletic.

Staring up at the dark ceiling Nick mentally chastised himself for thinking about the next day’s competition rather than sleeping. Unlike the woman lying next to him in bed he wasn’t the type of person who could fall asleep after sex - he wanted more. Peggy had quickly drifted off as soon as he had returned to his side of the bed but he had been awake ever since, silently wishing that she would wake up for round three. He had toyed with the idea of having a shower since he felt sweaty from earlier but he knew the water would only work to further wake him up. Instead, he opted to count sheep.

Closing his eyes he focused on the sound of his breathing, hoping the rhythm would help him drift off to dreamland. He pushed all thoughts of round three, golf victories and how much coconut cream pie was left in the fridge, allowing his thought to turn to sleep.

His muscles began to relax, giving off the tell-tale sign that sleep was soon to come. In the dark of the night, just as he slipped off into a comfortable slumber, a loud, alarming clap rang through the bedroom. Jostled back into consciousness Nick looked quickly around the room, finally locking eyes with Peggy who seemed to have been woken up by the noise. She dozed off again just as Nick realized what the noise was and he immediately burst into giggles, not able to stop himself. He held his stomach as he laughed hysterically, feeling tears forming in his eyes.

“Nick,” Peggy complained through the noise. “I’m trying to sleep. Why are you laughing?”

“Do you...” he had to stop because the giggles took over again. “Do you know what just happened?”

“Yeah, I woke up because you started laughing. What’s so funny?”

“No,” he corrected with a shit-eating grin. “You woke us both up by ripping a monster fart!”

Peggy shrugged him off, rolling her eyes though he couldn’t see it in the dark. “Shut up, I did not. It was probably one of the dogs.”

Nick sat up, still laughing as he looked down at his girlfriend. “Don’t blame the dogs, this is all on you babe. That was the loudest fart I’ve ever heard. I’m surprised paintings didn’t fall off the walls.”

“Shut up!” Peggy squealed and he could tell from her defensiveness that she was embarrassed. “Have you ever heard yourself? It’s all you do.”

“Mine are silent but violent,” he excused. “That was unreal. It was almost sexy. I’m turned on.”

“Nick, give it a rest.”

He wouldn’t rest though, opting to continue teasing her to the point that she sat up alongside him and turned on the light, giving up on the possibility of sleep. Holding the sheet against her breasts Peggy leaned her head back sleepily against the headboard, hoping that he would eventually stop harping on the issue so they could both get some sleep.

“Why are you so embarrassed?” he asked curiously.

Peggy let out a groan, turning her back to him in the hopes that he would take the hint and stop talking.

“Don’t point that thing towards me.”

“Nick!” she yelled out in frustration, reluctantly flipping to face him. “I’ve never farted in front of you, okay? That’s why it’s embarrassing.”

He chuckled, shaking his head at how silly women were when it came to bodily functions. She had no problem talking intimately about their sex life but heaven forbid he be aware that she, like every other person on the planet, farted.

“So what? I thought it was kind of hot.”

“You did not,” she said, this time rolling her eyes so he could see.

“I did,” he challenged. Moving closer to her on the bed he wrapped one arm around her shoulders, pulling the sheet away from her body with his free hand. “Between that and you being here all naked and sticky from before... wow. Go, go gadget dick.”

This time it was Peggy’s turn to laugh. She leaned up and kissed him quickly, almost impressed by his Inspector Gadget reference. While most women would find him corny at most times she loved his random pop-culture references and cheesy jokes the most.

Blushing she buried her face in the bend of his arm. “I think that’s why it was so loud,” she muttered and Nick raised an eyebrow in curiosity. “My... oh God, I can’t believe I’m about to say this... my skin was stuck together.”

Giggles once again took over, a sound that Peggy would never get tired of hearing since his laughter was one of the things that made him unlike anyone she had ever met. While still laughing he laid her back on the bed, his elbows on either side of her head while his hips settled against hers. His laughter died off and his expression became more serious, a look that Peggy recognized as lust.

“Don’t you want to sleep?” she asked innocently, rubbing her hands up and down his sides.

He shook his head negatively. “I want you.”

Pushing him back, she smiled. “You’re going to have to wait. I need to go to the bathroom.”

He glared skeptically, his face breaking into a small grin. “What are you going to do in there?”

She laughed, pushing at him again until he moved off of her. “I just need to pee, you were laying on my bladder and you’re sort of heavy.”

Nick gasped, clutching his chest and she thought for a split second she might have hurt his feelings by calling him heavy. “You pee? Oh man. Babe, that has totally changed my impression of you. You seem so much less ladylike now that I know you’re a human.”

“Stop being a jerk,” Peggy laughed as she made her way across the room to the ensuite bathroom. “Do something productive like put a condom on or something.”

“Condom?” he complained to the closed bathroom door, knowing it was a lost cause to even try and challenge it though it would never stop him from whining about the inconvenience.

Nick turned to look at his bedside table, frowning at how far away it seemed. The thought of crossing the width of the king sized bed was too daunting so he reached to Peggy’s bedside table, looking inside for some kind of prophylactic. The drawer was, as usual, messy and full of random stuff most of which Nick couldn’t identify. He dug through hair clips and magazines, not finding any sign of the familiar foil wrapper.

Just when he was about to give up he caught sight of a small makeup bag next to a box at the back of the drawer and grabbed it. His eyebrows furrowed as he unzipped the bag and looked inside. Inside was a variety of what seemed like sample-sized lubricants and condoms. With a shrug he grabbed the first one he saw and tossed the little bag next to the shoebox in the back.

His eyes stayed on the bathroom door, anxiously awaiting Peggy’s return as he tore open the foil package, going through the all-too-familiar routine of getting himself protected. Something didn’t seem right though and he looked down, confused by the sight.

“What are you doing?” Peggy chuckled as she turned the bathroom light back off. She had taken the opportunity and cleaned herself up a bit, running a brush through her hair and over her teeth before joining Nick back in the bedroom.

“Did my dick shrink?” he asked rhetorically and she watched him lean over the bed to grab the discarded condom wrapper. “What the fuck?”

“What?” she repeated anxiously, moving to kneel in front of him on the bed. Suddenly something came flying towards her and she pulled back in shock, nearly falling off the bed when she realized it was a condom. “Ew! Don’t throw that at me.”

“It’s not used!” he defended with a dramatic roll of his eyes. He turned the package around in his hand to show her the front, pointing to it with his free hand for emphasis. “Why do you have extra-extra-large condoms? These aren’t even my brand.”

“Where did you get that?”

“From your drawer!”

“Don’t go through my drawer!” she said defensively. She crawled to the other side of the bed quickly, reaching into Nick’s drawer to grab what he had originally been looking for.

“There’s no secrets here, babe.” he reminded her. “There shouldn’t be anything in that drawer that I shouldn’t see. You didn’t answer the question.”

“Ugh!” Peggy groaned, handing him the unopened packet. “Fine. They’re leftovers.”

“Leftovers?”

“From my last relationship.”

Nick blinked a few times as he look in the information, setting the wrapper on the side table. He tapped the new one against his bottom lip in thought. “Okay...ignoring the fact that your last boyfriend needed enormous condoms... why do you still have them?”

“If you’re thinking I need them because he’s coming over here and letting me relive his big dick, you’re wrong,” Peggy deadpanned. “I found other uses for them.”

“Water balloons? Making me feel inadequate? What other uses?”

With a groan Peggy pulled at the roots of her hair in frustration. “You won’t give up, will you?” she grunted. Reaching past him she opened the drawer and reached into the back to remove the shoebox that Nick had seen earlier. Opening the top she tilted it towards him, watching as his eyes grew as big as saucers.

“That’s...” he muttered, unable to find the words to describe what he was seeing. Cautiously he reached into the box, taking the largest of three objects into his hand. He took a moment to look it over, finally reaching for a switch at the bottom that suddenly brought it to life. While a tell-tale buzzing rang through the quiet of the room he looked up at his girlfriend who had been waiting for his reaction. “Why do you even bother having a boyfriend when you have the world’s biggest vibrator in your bedside table?”

“It’s not the world’s biggest. I’ve seen bigger.” she dismissed, grabbing it back from him. She turned it off and put it back in the box, closing the lid with finality.

“Oh, I bet you have. Where did you even get that?”

“I won it at a bridal shower,” Peggy explained with a shrug. “It came in handy while we were apart. I haven’t used it in forever, I’m surprised it still had a charge.”

“Are you for real?!” Nick asked, his voice cracking slightly as it pitched up an octave. He didn’t expect a reply but watched as she gave him another shoulder shrug in response. “Women are filthy! You guys complain about us seeing strippers at bachelor parties while you’re all buying each other giant vibrating dicks? Unreal.”

“Do you want to have sex, or not? Otherwise I’m going to bed because the alarm is going off in a few hours. We have an eight a-m tee time.”

With a grin, he shrugged mockingly before tearing into the packet in his hand with his teeth. “Can you even feel me inside you? Is it just so small you don’t notice the difference?”

Peggy laughed as she laid back on the bed, her hair fanning out on the pillow beneath her. “Yours is way better than any I’ve ever had, I promise. It’s six and a half inches of amazing, baby.”

Nick pretended to look hurt as he once again moved over her, leaning down to leave a lingering kiss on her lips. “Six and three quarters,” he corrected with a smile.

“Sorry,” she apologized, smiling as his lips gently touched hers again. “See? We both have things we consider flaws. I sometimes get gas and you have an average-sized penis.”

Nick scoffed, trying to ignore the intoxicating sensation of Peggy’s foot running up the back of his thigh. “Slightly above average, thank you.”

“Average,” she challenged. “Now shut up and fuck me already.”

“If you insist,” he grinned devilishly, letting himself get lost in her embrace once again.