Author's Chapter Notes:
Emjoy!
Nick drove as fast as he could to the hospital. He was sick to his stomach he didn’t know what to feel or how to cope with it all. His daughter was dying and there wasn’t anything he could do about it. When he arrived at the hospital he ran up seven flights of stairs he didn’t want to wait for the elevator nor wait for a million stops. He just wanted to be with Rayna and to see his daughters. When Nick got to Rayna’s room she wasn’t there,” She was supposed to be waiting for me” he thought he walked up to the nurses’ station.
“Hello my fiancé Rayna Johnson was in room 266 and she isn’t there”
“Yes sir she told me to tell you that she went to go and visit the twins the doctor came in and got her just a few minutes ago. The NICU is just up one more floor.” He could only imagine what was wrong now. He was starting to think Rayna was right about Melissa. He ran up one more flight of stairs to the NICU when he got there he saw Rayna and Leighanne in a private room.
“I’m sorry sir I cannot let you in there”
“I am Nick Carter their father”
“Oh I am sorry Mr. Carter Rayna has been waiting for you” the double doors opened and he walked through the doors.
“I am so sorry it took me so long to get here I went to your room and you weren’t there.” He said out of breath,” And Brian is on his way to the airport getting out of New York he should be back in LA later tonight sometime.” He said still trying to recover from all the running he had just done.
“I am sorry I didn’t wait for you Nick the doctor came in and said something was wrong with Melissa so I came up here as fast as I could”
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“He said her organs are starting to slowly shut down organ by organ”
“And there isn’t any medicine or anything they can give her?” Rayna shook her head.
“They have done all they can for her we just have to pray that her body will start responding, and there is one more thing. If by some miracle she does start responding she still has a long road ahead of her she has some kind of a chromosome anomaly and she would require a ton of attention and doctor visits and this anomaly is why her organs were so poorly developed.” Nick didn’t know how to handle the news he wished he knew he couldn’t make his daughter better but he sure wished he could. He felt like maybe he was being punished for something he did or maybe this was just some cruel joke but he knew this wasn’t the case. Nick walked over to Melissa’s bed and took one look at her with all the tubes that surrounded her tiny little body she looked just like her mother brown hair in all even though there wasn’t much of it you could still tell the color. Nick noticed that she had a birthmark on her ankle it almost looked like it was in the shape of an angel he had to take another look at it.
“I just wish there was something I could do did you notice this birthmark?”
“Yes I did and I wish there was something we could do too, but she is comfortable and isn’t in any pain, I promise. All I want to do is just cuddle her and tell her everything will be ok but we can’t hold the babies right now we can only touch them. They have to be about three and a half pounds before we can hold them and five pounds before they can come home with us” Rayna explained,” And then over here we have Madison who seems to be doing just fine. She is eating and going potty regularly so they have hopes that she will be coming home with us in the next month or so.” Nick walked over to Madison’s bed and saw that she too looked just like her mother they were identical twins,” Here is a gown and some gloves if you want to hold her hand she is starting to respond to touch” Nick took ahold of the gown and put it on along with the gloves. He put his hands through the little holes in the incubator and took ahold of her hand his emotions got the best of him and a tear rolled down his cheek.
“Hey there little girl I am so glad you finally made it into this world we cannot wait to take you home with your brother and your sisters.” He said
“It’s amazing isn’t it?” Rayna said.
“Yes it is, we created these two little people. This is all surreal to me is there any way I can touch Melissa or is she too sick to be touched?”
“Your fine” Nick walked back over to Melissa’s bed and once again reached his hand through the little holes and grabbed her hand.
“Hey there Melissa you need to be a fighter we all need you to pull through we all love you very much” Melissa slowly opened her eyes for a split second.” Did you see that? She opened her eyes at me.” Rayna smiled.
“I Saw it she must like her daddy”
“Of course she likes her daddy who doesn’t like me?” But as Nick was enjoying his moment of fatherhood it all came crashing down once Melissa’s machines started beeping the doctors and nurses’ came rushing in.
“What’s going on?” Nick asked in a panicked voice.
“It looks like everything is starting to shut down. We have done everything we can. I am sorry to inform you but without this machine right here Melissa will not be able to breathe on her own.” Rayna walked into Nick’s chest and just cried. This was the end for Melissa Rayna knew this was going to happen but maybe she was just in denial like everyone else and maybe if she had higher hopes and was more optimistic maybe the outcome would have been different?,” She is stabilized for now but you have to consider your options at this point in time. This is a very difficult decision you have to make so I will leave you two alone until you have made your decision. I wish I had better news”. Rayna cried harder. Rayna looked to her right and saw Leighanne in tears and then looked up at Nick who wasn’t crying but just had this sad look on his face maybe he didn’t want anyone to see him cry or maybe he just hasn’t come to terms with her dying? After the doctor walked out of the room Nick and Rayna walked over to Leighanne and went into a group hug.
“I feel like this is my fault” Rayna cried.
“Honey this is no one’s fault there wasn’t anything you did wrong.” Leighanne said trying to comfort Rayna.
“You heard the doctor there wasn’t much that could be done. She cannot stay on life support forever that wouldn’t be fair to her. We would never get to see her crawl, walk or say her first words she would always just be there lying in bed hooked up to machines.” Nick broke the hug and looked at Rayna,” Look at me Ray this is not your fault do you understand me? This is not something that could have been prevented this just happened. We have one beautiful daughter who still need us and two other children at home who need us too. I know this is difficult and it will take some time to get over but we are strong and we will make it through this Ray I promise you” Rayna felt so empty inside she had to pull the life support plug on such a small little child it was hard enough watching her breathe off a machine but having to watch her just slip away?
“I don’t know Nick I knew in my heart this was happening but now that reality is hitting me I don’t know if I can do this” she said sobbing,” How do you just pull the plug on a little baby?” Nick pulled Rayna in close and rubbed her back.
“Rayna this isn’t easy on anyone right now not me, not Leigh, not you or even the kids. I know you don’t want to hear this from me or anyone else but do you want to see Melissa just always lying there helpless?” Rayna shook her head.” Then this is the right thing to do Ray none of us want to do this Ray but this is the way it is and nothing will change.” Rayna knew Nick was right but she was in denial just yesterday she wanted to say good-bye and today she didn’t want to let her go. She wanted everything to be ok. Why did this have to happen to her family? Why did she feel like this was all her fault? Rayna walked over to Melissa’s bed and watched the machine breathe for her. The tubes that surrounded little baby made her heart ache all she wanted to do was to pick her up and hold her and tell her that she was going to get better.
“Mommy loves you Melissa you’ll be in a better place where your aunt can take care of you and where you can always look down on us” she sobbed once more,” We will miss you dearly” Rayna stepped away from the bed and Nick was the next to step up to the bed.
“I love you very much baby girl we will see each other again someday your sisters, brother and mommy and daddy will miss you very much” Nick started to cry he knew this would happen when it was time to say good-bye he never expected to have to say good-bye so soon. Nick walked over to a nurse to tell her to bring in the doctor they all knew this was the best option even though they hated it within minutes the doctor came walking in.
“Once I unplug this machine it will only be just a few minutes and she will be gone and then she will go down to the morgue in the basement until you can make funeral arrangements” the doctor slowly walked over to the machine and unplugged her breathing machine. Rayna couldn’t watch so she buried her face into Nick’s chest and just like that Melissa was gone. This was the most painful experience anyone had ever had to deal with,” There is a Chaplin available if anyone needs him I am sorry for your loss” Rayna, Nick, and Leighanne just hovered over Melissa’s bed and just cried.
“I wish this didn’t have to happen Nick I wish everything was different” Rayna cried.
“Me too but she is in a better place now”
“I know Nick I just didn’t think this would be happening this fast. I guess I will make arrangements tomorrow. This is just so hard for me.” Nick pulled Rayna in for another hug.
“I know it’s going to be hard on everyone and I know I sound like a broken record right now but we will make it through this we will never forget her she will always be in our hearts forever and for always.” Rayna knew this would take some time to deal with the loss of her child how will she do it without Nick by her side? He will be heading back out onto the road soon and she will be with no one but two kids and an infant. Maybe this would be harder than she thought maybe she isn’t ready for any of this after all.
Chapter End Notes:
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