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After: You Said Oliver


Nick

I waited until the noise of the dinner party died down and they'd all filed up to their rooms and I wouldn't have to face anyone before I left the room Ashley had dragged Chris and I into. The dinner room was dark, the seats up on the table. Someone had come and cleaned most of the mess up, all they had left was vacuuming. The vacuum cleaner stood in a corner, waiting to be used. I slipped out of the room and down the hall to the elevator bay.

Upstairs in my room, I took a shower and lay down on the bed in the dark. I didn't even turn on the TV. The only light in the whole room was the ambient light coming in through the window. I stared up at the ceiling, just replaying the scene over and over and over in my head. She'd been so freaked out when she left, the way she'd gripped her hair and everything. I couldn't help but wonder if I'd done it right if she would've reacted differently. I wished I could take back that entire fight, turn back time, and tell her before Chris had screamed it out like that.

Stupid, fucking, Chris. He'd very quickly become the bane of my existence. I know it wasn't his fault, all the guy really did was fall in love and finally get the chance to score the perfect woman. All he was guilty of was getting lucky. But I couldn't help but picture him laughing maniacally, purposely stealing Ashley away from me.

"Well, I guess you were wrong, Leslie," I said aloud into the hotel room, "You said the story wasn't over, but really it is."

I closed my eyes and wondered how I was gonna manage to walk Ashley down the aisle the next day... how I was going to be strong enough to give her away.

That's when there was a knock at my door.

My eyes popped open and I froze, waiting, half expecting house keeping. Though what house keeping would be doing there at ten o'clock at night was beyond me.

The knock came again.

I climbed out of bed and walked to the door. I looked through the peephole and saw her vibrant red hair and I quickly unlocked all the latches and everything and opened the door for her. Ashley was wearing her wedding dress, her hair was in a messy bun at the back of her head, long tendrils of it framing her face, tears all over her cheeks. She pushed by me into the room, and once she was halfway across it, back to me, facing the window, she said, "Close the door, Nick."

I closed the door. And locked it also, for good measure.

I didn't have words to speak, so I walked into the room behind her silently.

Ashley turned around, her nose was red at the end and she held balled up tissues in her hands, breathing through her mouth. She was a mess. She swallowed, "I should not be crying like this on the eve of my wedding, Nickolas," she said in a scolding voice. She gasped a deep breath, wiped her nose and eyes with one swipe.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly, "I didn't -- I didn't mean for you to find out... not like that. I meant to tell you right, and I was too scared or stupid or something and every time I tried something came up, and... I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to find out like that."

"What were you gonna do, let me go get married and never tell me?" she asked.

"I don't know."

"Nick," she said, "Tell me right."

"What?"

"Tell me now. Tell me the right way, right now."




Ashley

I stood before him, waiting for the words to come out of his mouth. He stood there, his eyes searching mine, obviously spinning through words in his head. I had a feeling his heart was probably pounding as hard as mine was. I couldn't help but wonder what the hell I was thinking, coming over here in the night like this, crying and wanting him to tell me he loved me. I'd spent the last two hours in my room putting on the wedding dress to remind me how happy I was about the ceremony, how happy Chris made me, how much Chris loved me. And now here I was, in the most dangerous place I could possibly be: alone with Nick.

But I felt like I owed it to myself to make him say it. I owed it to myself to hear it. Because if I didn't hear him say it, then I'd always wonder what it sounded like when Nick Carter said I love you to me.

"Say it, Nick," I begged.

"I died," he said.

"What?"

"In the plane crash. I died. It wasn't for very long, but I died. I saw Leslie, I talked to her." His voice shook. This wasn't what I'd been expecting him to say. I sat down at the end of the bed. He sat next to me. "I didn't see my life flash before my eyes or nothing like that," he continued, "It was just so peaceful feeling, and freeing."

"What did she say?" I asked.

"She said our story isn't over yet." He looked at me. "Ashley, I called you just before I died on that plane."

I stared into his eyes. I'd wondered about that phone call almost every single day since I'd received it. I'd analyzed it in my mind, every syllable that he'd spoken. I licked my lips. "Nick," I said, "Who is Oliver?"

"What?"

"When you called me from the wreck... You said my name, you said hi, and then you said Oliver." Even as I said the words, my palms started to sweat. No... I thought, Don't tell me I was that stupid to not hear it...

"I didn't say Oliver," he said. "I said I love you."

We stared at each other. The seconds seem to stretch longer and longer.

I couldn't believe that he'd said it... and I'd missed it.

"I said it with all my heart," he said, "I just... I was dying. My face was melting to the window." He waved at his scar.

I felt sick. "Why didn't you tell me again? When you were okay, when you were at the hospital? Why didn't you want me to come see you?"

Nick's hand went to his scar. "I was afraid... of what you'd think."

"You were afraid of what I'd think of your scar?" I asked.

"Well at that point it was a gaping, disgusting, oozing wound and -- I saw it, after the nurse had found you and told you to come. I saw it in the mirror. I got up to brush my teeth for you and --" he lowered his hands to his lap and stared down at them.

"Nick you've called me Dogface since we were eight years old and you thought I would be freaked out by your scar?" I asked. Then something occurred to me. "Hey, you stopped calling me Dogface."

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Because it was wrong of me to call you that," he answered, "I mean, I didn't mean it like to insult you, I never meant it to insult you. It was like an army term..."

"Yeah, your uncle said it playing chicken, I know," I nodded.

"But you're beautiful," he said, "And, I dunno, it just realized that it might hurt you when I call you that."

I bit my lip. Something inside me was awakening, a feeling that I thought I'd buried months ago. I reached out and touched his hand. He looked down at the touch. "Nick," I said, "Tell me how you meant to tell me."

He looked up from our hands and he drew a deep breath and said, "Ashley, I love you. More than I've ever loved anyone or anything, I love you. I have loved you since the day I met you. I never meant to break your heart. In Las Vegas, when you said that the sex didn't mean anything, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think. I lost my mind. Not a single day has gone by that I don't hate what I did to you. But that night with you... it was the most amazing night I've ever had... and I think about it, about you, about us...everyday." He paused, shrugged, and met my eyes again. "I just love you."

I felt torn in half. Part of me wanted to throw him backwards onto the bed and rip off all his clothes and give myself to him. But the rest of me knew that I wasn't that kind of person, and I couldn't do that to Chris.

And besides, I was marrying Chris the next day. I had already given myself away.

But you owe it to yourself, a little voice in my head told me, You owe it to the past twenty-five years.

"Nick," I said, "We have twelve hours before we have to be at the church for my wedding."

"I know, I should've told you sooner, I'm sorry."

"Take me out," I said.

"What?"

"You want a chance to win me back, well here it is," I said. "Take me out on a date."

"Now?"

"Right now. I'm your girlfriend for the next twelve hours. Then we'll never have to wonder what it would've been like. We'll never feel like we never gave us the chance."

Nick looked wildly frightened.

"Please," I said.

"Okay."

"I'm going to change. Meet me in the lobby in fifteen minutes," I said.

Nick nodded.

I stood up, "This is your chance to sweep me off my feet, Nick."