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Before: She's Just So Damn Pink


Nick

I was covered with paint. I put the oscillating fan on in the bedroom and hacked and coughed my way down the hall to the bathroom, where I stripped off all my clothes and climbed into the shower. I hoped the paint smell would die off before the next day. I couldn't believe I hadn't done this before. But I guess with everything going on, it was easy to forget. Plus, it would've been some generic color if I had done it before.

When I was clean and all the paint was out of my hair and off my skin, I climbed out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist and brushed my teeth, leaning close to the mirror to see that I got it all, making faces like a deranged animal. Like a llama maybe.

I got dressed and rubbed my hair, trying to dry it quicker, as I walked back to the kitchen and opened the fridge, pulling out an Odwalla protien shake. I turned to toss the cap in the trash and my eyes landed on the thick contract I'd chucked in there a couple days before. I pulled it out and put it on the counter. It had a couple stains, but for the most part it was still in tact. I opened it to the page with my signature, releasing me from all responsibilities to the Backstreet Boys for a minimum of three years.

I left the contract on the counter.

I grabbed my keys and headed out the front door.

At the hospital, I said hi to the receptionist at the door and stopped by the gift shop to pick up the mandatory payment for admission: Ashley's York peppermint patty and a Yoohoo. Then I jogged up the steps to the maternity ward, the bag on my arm. I got to the big baby window and pressed my face against the glass until I saw her. The little pink giraffee toy was next to her and she was kicking her feet all round and pink and perfect. Zoey Jackson the tag over her head read. I waved at her, even though I knew she had no clue I was there, then I continued down the hallway to Ashley's room.

Two cops sat in chairs alongside Ashley's bed. She was sitting up, her hair tugged into a messy, dirty bun that hung limply to one side of her head. She'd obviously spent time trying to clean up though because she had on make up. I snuck around the bed as she talked to the officers and came up the other side of her, pulling up a third chair.

She was in the middle of describing what had happened at the apartment with Chris.

I put the peppermint patty and the Yoohoo on the table and reached into my backpack for the package of bendy straws. I tossed one up next to the Yoohoo.

Ashley grabbed my hand as she talked, describing how I'd tried calling and the cell phone had shattered. The cops were taking notes.

"And then Nick was there... and... well, to be honest, it's kind of hazy from there," Ashley finished with a shrug. "Then I was here, and the epidural, and the light, and... I guess the next thing I really remember from there is Zoey." She looked at me and smiled. "How is Zoey this morning? Did you see her yet?"

"Yeah, I waved at her on my way by. She's pink."

Ashley turned to the cops. "She's always pink. She's so cute. You should stop by and see her. She has the cutest fingers you'll ever see. Her fingernails, they look like she got a french manicure in there." She put her hand on her stomach.

One cop, whose badge declared his name was Officer Dexter, laughed. The other said, "I'm sure she's beautiful." But it was in that obligated to say so sort of way. Little did he know she really was the most beautiful baby in the entire world.

How could she not be? She looked just like her momma, and her momma was the most beautiful woman in the entire world. So it really made sense.

Officer Dexter looked at me. "Mr. Carter, do you mind if we ask you some questions about the incident as well?" he asked.

"Shoot," I replied. Ashley reached out her hands for her peppermint patty and Yoohoo, and I handed them to her so she wouldn't have to strain herself leaning forward. Her stomach was still raw from being stitched closed. She opened the cap on the Yoohoo and stuck her straw into it.

"How long did you know that Mr. Stensby was physically abusing Ms. Jackson?" the officer asked.

I thought about it. "What was it, like a week after your birthday?" I asked, looking at Ashley.

She nodded around her straw.

"I got a call from a doctor here.. uh.. I think his name was Edwards... She'd been admitted after a neighbor called and reported the arguing," I said.

"Why didn't you notice the warning signs sooner?" the other officer, whose badge said Officer Bryant, asked.

"Well before that, I'd been on tour across the country... and... well, we'd lost contact for a few months following them getting married, so yeah."

The officers took notes. "And you reported your suspicions following your discovery of the situation?" asked Officer Dexter.

"Yeah, I talked Ashley into filing a police report."

Officer Bryant shuffled through some notes. "Chris is claiming in his defense that you assaulted him at the apartment following your arrival..." he said.

"Well fuck yeah I assaulted him, the bastard all but killed Ashley," I blurted before I could see the fault in those words. A silence fell over us. Ashley lowered her Yoohoo, her eyebrows raised at me in disapproval.

"What exactly conspired between you and Mr. Stensby?" Officer Dexter questioned.

"Well when I broke down the apartment door, he had Ashley in a corner and she was all battered up real bad and I came up behind him and pulled him off her and we exchanged a few blows, but I mean I didn't do anything that wasn't... deserved."

"It was defensive," Ashley said.

Officer Bryant raised an eyebrow, "I thought you said you didn't remember from the moment you fell into the coffee table?" he asked.

"Well I mean it's hazy, but..."

Officer Dexter took a deep breath. "Unfortunately, Chris got a relatively good lawyer. He's behind bars, but if he can prove he was assaulted, he may get out on a mutual abuse clause that's designed to protect men from false accusations."

I felt my anger flare, "It's not a false accu--"

"I know!" Officer Dexter held up his hands, "I'm not saying it's a false accusation. I'm saying the justice system is very careful to make sure that the right persons are being detained in these situations and unfortunately it leaves a lot of loopholes for crafty lawyers to weave through if they know how to work the system."

I shook my head and turned away, pissed. "How could -- how can you call that justice if the bastard could get out just because I was protecting her?"

Officer Bryant sighed, "The justice system often serves up injustices. But if we all cooperate with one another, and work together, then everything will turn out just fine."




Ashley

After Officers Dexter and Bryant left, Nick paced the room. I patted the mattress next to me. "Sit," I begged.

He came over and sat but his leg bounced up and down with nerves.

"Nick, please, it's going to be okay. Those cops were talking like worst case scenario stuff just then."

"Yeah but this is us and let's face it if something can possibly fuck us up it's going to," Nick said pessimistically. He rubbed his face. "I mean look at what we've been through already: Vegas, plane crashes, interferring fiances, Vegas again, pregnancies, domestic abuse, dead dogs, two near death experiences... I just seriously don't put psychopath with a vengence out of our spectrum."

I laughed. "Well when you list it like that you'd think we were fucking Bonnie and Clyde or something," I said. I held out my hand and wiggled my fingers until he put his in mine. "Nickolas, stop being a pessimist. Be positive."

"Dude." He looked at me with wide eyes, "Did you not pay attention to that list? It's long."

"I know. But there's something different this time that wasn't true those other times."

"What's that?"

"We have each other. And we have Zoey."

Nick smiled. He stood up and leaned over me, pressing his mouth to my forehead softly. "I am glad that we have that," he said.

"You should go get her," I pleaded.

"Can't we like make out a little or something first?" he asked, pressing his lips to my mouth.

I thought about it a moment. "Ummm.. yeah, sure, making out works." I laced my fingers through Nick's hair and pulled him closer to me. He was bent like an L over the bed but that didn't seem to bother him.

He pulled back after a couple moments. "I painted the spare bedroom last night. Well I guess it's not spare anymore."

"You did?"

He nodded, "It's pink. Like she is."

"She certainly is pink."

"Yes she is."

"Aw Nick, I miss her, go get her."

"Okay."

I watched as he ducked out of the room to go get my baby girl and I grabbed the York peppermint patty off the table tray and ripped it open, breaking it into pieces. I shoved a slice of it into my mouth and chewed. I imagined myself sliding down the alps like they do in the commercials after they bite into York peppermint patties.

Nick came back in a moment later. "The nurse is gonna bring her in a second," he said, and he sat down. He grabbed my hand again and stared up at me as I chewed my candy bar. I offered him a piece. Well I didn't really offer it, I just shoved it into his mouth and he laughed as he chewed it, grinning up at me with those big blue eyes of his.

"I've been thinking," he said.

"Have you now?" I asked, "What's that like for you?"

He smirked, "Don't be a bitch," he laughed.

"I like being a bitch to you," I teased. "Seriously, what were you thinking?"

"I think we should move."

"Move?"

"Yeah, move outta that house. There's a lot of weird shit associated to it and I think it'd be better karma if we took Zoey and moved somewhere else."

"But you painted the room."

He shrugged, "Other rooms will paint."

"But... Where?"

"I have the house in Nashville."

"But the ocean?"

He shrugged. "We'll keep this place. Or get another place. But I think we should make Nashville our primary home for awhile."

"What about the Backstreet Boys?"

"I signed the contract."

I stared at him. "I thought you threw it away."

"I didn't take the trash out yet."

"So you're thinking about bringing it in after all then?"

He shrugged. "It seems stupid to tour now. I mean, Zoey. And you."

"Zoey and I will be here when you get back."

"Yeah, but... I'll miss stuff. I don't wanna miss stuff."

I licked my lips. "It's still your choice, Nick. I stand by that. I'll back whatever you chose to do."

"I just think we'll be... happier... in Nashville for awhile." He grinned, "Zoey can play in our backyard. We'll get her a swing."

I laughed. "I think she's a little small for a swing."

"A pink swing." Nick was grinning.

"Even a pink swing."

"She'll be big enough someday," he said.

The nurse came in, pushing the little bed and I saw little fingers and sock covered toes flying around and I squealed and Nick moved out of the way as the nurse picked Zoey up and softly laid her across my chest. "Here she is," she cooed as I wrapped my arms around her.

"Zozozozozo," I mumbled in a soft voice.

"Thanks," Nick said to the nurse.

The nurse smiled and nodded and left the room and Nick came over like he was pulled by a magnetic force and put his head on the pillow next to mine, staring at Zoey.

"She's just so damn pink," he said.