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Before: A Side of Guac


Nick

It'd been silent in the car for a good ten minutes. Ashley had turned, staring at the back seat, at Zoey, a nervous expression on her face. I took a deep breath. "What're we having for dinner?" I asked, just to break the silence.

"I don't know, I bought stuff for tacos."

"Do we have guac?"

"We have the mix, but we need avacados," she replied.

"I'll stop and run in for them, then," I said. The car sped down I-65. I shuffled my hands on the wheel. Finally, I said, "Ashley, what are we gonna tell Zoey?"

"About what?"

"About Chris?"

Ashley looked at me. "Why do we have to tell her anything about him?"

"Well I mean he is her father."

Ashley shook her head, "No he isn't. You are. Only biology says otherwise and what does biology matter?"

"I guess. But I mean... Well, like, what if your mom had stayed with Patrick, what if she never told you about Henry. What if you never knew him. What if you never got the chance to?"

"Then I'd be better off, wouldn't I?" Ashley said coldly.

I shook my head, "I just... Well I mean, once upon a time, these people were... they were good people. I mean, I'm mostly talking about Chris, I obviously didn't know anything much about Henry. Other than his parting words to me were 'do right by her'. Ashley, he tried in the only way he had left to make it up to you. He told you about Patrick, didn't he? He didn't have to. He could've taken that to the grave with him. And Chris, well, he ain't now but at one point he was a good friend. At one point, he truly loved you. And who knows, maybe he still does. Maybe he just as a really jacked up way of showing it. Maybe somewhere, under layers and layers and layers of distortion, is that old Chris. The good Chris. Maybe we owe it to Zoey to see if it's there."

"Why so he can beat the shit out of her too?" Ashley snapped.

The car came to a stop at the red light at the end of the exit ramp. I glanced over at Ashley. "I'm not saying to let him have custody of her, I'm saying that maybe she should at least have the chance to know. Not right away. Someday. When she's older and can understand and tread carefully and all that."

"I don't think it's neccessary. You're her Daddy and that's all she needs to know. Period."

"What if she finds out somehow?" I asked. "What if he finds her and he tells her and she thinks I'm some horrible monster for lying to her for however long it takes before she finds out?"

"She won't think that."

"What if she does?"

"Telling her about Christopher won't change that." The light turned green and I drove on toward downtown Franklin. "He is evil and she is better off never knowing that he even existed."

I sighed. "I guess."

"Don't sigh like that," she said, "Please. Just -- I don't want her knowing him. He's done nothing but hurt me and hurt her since she was conceived, Nick. He doesn't deserve her love."

"I didn't say he did," I argued. "I said she deserves the chance to decide that." I parked the car and unbuckled my seatbelt. "I'm gonna go in and get avacados for the guac," I said.

"Okay." Ashley nodded. "I'll stay here with Zoey."

I looked over at her. "Hey, it doesn't matter really to me what we tell her about him. If you don't want her to know, then we won't tell her. Okay, baby?"

Ashley looked over at me. "We have a really long time to decide this," she conceeded.

"We do." I nodded. "Years, at least."

"At least," Ashley agreed.

"Do we need anything else in here?"

"It seems like there was something but I don't remember what."

"Well. Call me if you remember it in the next couple minutes. I'll be right out."

"Okay. I'll be right here."

I ducked out of the car and headed into the grocery store.




Ashley

I watched Nick walk across the parking lot and disappear into the automatic entry doors. I glanced back at Zoey, who slept peacefully in her car seat. Her little nose twitched and I reached back and tucked her blanket around her.

Milk.

"Crap." I looked at the doors Nick had gone through and grabbed my purse off the floor of the car. The handle of it caught the glove box, which fell open. Nick had shoved the Glock into the glove box. I groaned and slammed the glove box closed. It wouldn't shut. The gun was too much. I don't know how he got it shut in the first place. I took the gun out, made sure the safety clip was on, and shoved it into the abyss that was my purse. I fished around for my cell phone and pulled it out. I was about to turn it on when I thought of the app and I stopped.

"That was almost very stupid of me," I muttered. I turned and looked at Zoey. "Well Zozo, looks like we gotta go inside to let Daddy know about the milk." I climbed out of the car and opened the back door, leaning in to get Zoey. She picked up pink giraffe and she threw him, gurgling happily. The giraffe bounced out of the door and onto the cement. I bent down to pick him up.

Someone stepped up behind me.

"Oh, honey," I said, "I realized we need milk. I was just getting Zoey and then I was gonna come in and --"

Before I could finish my sentence though, there was a metallic click - a gun loading, and then there was something cold and hard pressed against my back.

"Don't worry," Chris said, "We can go tell him together."