1. Long Way Down

“You wanna give it to him now?” She whispered in his ear and he looked up, snapped out of his thoughts.

“Huh?’’ he asked a little dazed.

“The present,” she explained exasperated, giving a small flick of her head.

“Oh!” he remembered suddenly. He’d been a little nervous about giving it to the birthday boy, wondering if it was too soon. He just hoped Baylee was going to like it. “Yeah, yeah, definitely.”

“Okay, well, he doesn’t seem busy now,” Lauren suggested impatiently and Nick looked at the kid. It was amazing that Baylee was alone. Nick suspected all of Atlanta’s twelve and thirteen year olds were present at the party. The entire backyard was crawling with overly loud teenagers. There were even girls, and Baylee seemed quite familiar with some of them, which made Nick wonder if Brian had had The Talk with his son yet. Probably not, kids didn’t need to have The Talk anymore these days, learning all they needed to know either in school or on the internet. In fact, if he thought he knew Brian at all, the older man would most likely wait until Baylee was twenty before ever discussing S.E.X. with him. So that will never happen.

Taking a deep breath, he lifted the slightly heavy box in his arms and brought it over to the thirteen-year-old. Confidently, he planted the present in front of Baylee, knowing that not many presents could impress the boy at this point. Surely this will.

“Hey little man, got you a present,” he declared with a grin.

“You know, you can’t call me ‘little man’ anymore, I’m thirteen now, you know,” Baylee stretched the word, making it sound like the number was a big deal.

“Sure he can,” Kevin interrupted, “Nick may be thirty-five, I’ll always call him little man,” he stated, smacking the back of Nick’s head resolutely.

“At which I always remind him that I’m taller,” Nick glared, rubbing the place where Kevin had hit him.

“Doesn’t matter, I’m older,” Kevin said cheerfully.

“Yeah, lots,” Nick mumbled under his breath.

“What was that, little man?”

“Umm, nothing. Baylee! Why don’t you open the box?” Nick called, changing the subject quickly. “It’s really special, you know. It’s something I definitely owe you,” he stated mysteriously, smiling.

Baylee’s eyes narrowed and he grabbed the box firmly. “What is it?” he asked, bringing the box up at eye-level to inspect it, “Jeez, it’s heavy!”

“I know. And don’t shake it either! It’s kind of… fragile…”

“Oh,” Baylee whispered, solemnly setting the present back down, clearly afraid to touch it. Swiftly, he unwrapped the orange ribbon that held the top of the box firmly in place. As he opened the lit, Nick saw the boy’s eyes go wide and his mouth dropped open.

“Oh my God!” Baylee yelled out. “He’s so cute!”

A few curious heads turned in their direction and some of the kids came running over. Nick laughed when he saw the girls swooning all over Baylee’s present.

“Err, technically, it’s a she…” he explained with a smirk. He watched the small crowd of children surround Baylee and the six weeks old Boxer-pup. “And that’s a dog.”

“Are you saying a Maltese isn’t a dog?” Baylee challenged playfully.

“Oh sure they are,” Nick stated sternly, “if you call mutant baby sheep ‘dogs’, that is.”

“Ooh, what a sweetie! What are you gonna call her?” one of the girls Nick had noticed earlier, asked in a high voice.

“I’m not sure. Maybe I’ll call her Katie,” Baylee replied with a charming grin. Nick raised his eyebrows and his jaw dropped in surprise, realizing what the boy was trying to do. No doubt the girl’s name is Katie… Astonished, he glanced at Kevin next to him, but the oldest Backstreet Boys only shrugged at his cousin’s son behaviour. Who taught Baylee to flirt like that?

When he looked a little further, he could easily see the answer to that question. A few feet behind the crowd of small people, he saw AJ nodding approvingly at Baylee’s attempt, a huge, proud smirk plastered on his face. Of course, who else?  

 “That’s my boy!” AJ muttered quietly at Baylee when Nick walked over to him.

“I should have known you had something to do with it,” Nick said, shaking his head.

“Damn, someone’s oughta,” AJ swore softly, “I don’t see B-Rok teaching his kid the necessities anytime soon.”

“So you decided to take matters into your own hands?” Nick asked incredulously.

“Damn sure I did, and by the looks of it, he’s a fast learner!” There was that proud smile again and Nick couldn’t help but smirk himself, as he watched Baylee and Katie play with what seemed to be Little Katie now.

“You’re right, he does a good job…”

“I must admit, I’m kinda relieved too, you know….” AJs grin turned into a wicked one, “he fortunately does not have his father’s flirting skills… thank God…”

Nick laughed at that, “Yeah, by now, he would have the ladies running for their lives.”

“Ah, give him a little credit, he did get Leighanne with that attitude,” Howie appeared suddenly from out of nowhere and slapped a hand on Nick’s back. Apparently, he’d overheard their entire conversation. The man could do that without anyone ever noticing. In another life, Nick thought, Howie would have made one hell of a spy.

“No,” AJ stated, “Leighanne got him with that attitude, there’s a difference, D.’’

“Speaking of difference, where is the lovely couple?” Howie said, looking around.

“Umm, well, Leighanne’s over there somewhere,” AJ answered, vaguely waving his hand, “And I told Brian to go back inside, cause it’s too damn cold out here.” Nick shivered at the word ‘cold’. The kids didn’t seem bothered by the temperature, running around, jumping on the huge inflatable in the middle of the field.

“Wait, Howie!” he suddenly called, “what did you mean by difference?”

“Difference?”

“Yeah, you said ‘speaking of difference…’’”’Nick remembered.

“Ah, so you did pay attention to something I said,” Howard contemplated thoughtful.

“For once.”

“You know, it’s just that… I’m sure you noticed it the past few weeks…” Howie spoke slowly, looking sternly at him.

“Huh?” Nick had no idea what he was talking about.

“Just, I don’t know. The way those two behave around each other…”

“Are we still talking about Brian and Leighanne?” AJ interrupted, unsure.

“You guys are so blind sometimes!” Howie exploded, “don’t they seem, oh I don’t know, hostile to you? You know, how they used to swoon all over each other?”

Nick and AJ nodded stupidly, not knowing what to say. Nick had always known Howie was too perceptive for his own good, but this was absurd. Of course he knew why they should be hostile towards one another, but that didn’t mean that it was actually happening, did it? As far as Nick knew, Brian didn’t know about the thing of the thing. But then again, how much did Nick know?

“Now it just seems like Leighanne’s trying to make sure to stay as far away as possible,” Howie continued untroubled, “Was there a fight?” he turned to Nick.

“Err, no…” Nick answered, confused. There wasn’t, was there?

“Really? Cause by the looks of it, I’m guessing Baylee’s blaming his mother for something too.”

Nick’s mouth unhinged for the second time that afternoon. Just two hours and Howie figured all that out? Nick had been there for five weeks, and he hadn’t even gotten that far without Larry calling him. Howie is too smart to be in a boyband…

“Oh, really?” he asked lamely, trying to sound like he had no idea what Howie was talking about. But just as he’d expected, his friend could see straight through that too.

“I think you know damn well what’s going on here Nickolas…” the older man suggested sternly, looking him in the eye.

“Okay, okay,” Nick finally relented, “Let me just say, Bay’s got a very good reason to be mad at his mom, kay?”

“What do you mean?” AJ had found his voice again, “What’s going on?”

Nick knew there was no way back now.

March 2015

The kid didn’t have a right to be in this group of awesome people, and that was final.

Why am I even getting so worked up? The guy probably sings like shit, and once everyone’s heard him, we can vote him out.

At top speed, he flew down the stairs, running through the halls, praying he was not too late. There was so much left he’d wanted to say, but by the sounds of it, it seemed like Brian didn’t ever want to see them again. Nick had wondered if his friend had overreacted, or if the group had really gone too far this time. He recalled the harsh words that had been spewed by both parties in AJs dressing room and cringed, knowing that there was definitely no way back now.

Skidding to a halt when he suddenly reached the hotel room he’d been looking for. Raking up some leftover courage, he slowly walked up to the room, knocking softly on the door. Strangely, it wasn’t locked, and when he peered inside, he saw the room was empty, he grunted frustrated and looked around. Where could they be? Damn it, he should have done this in the dressing room, when there was still time, when Brian hadn’t stormed out furiously yet. He’d been too afraid, too much of a coward to stand up for his friend, so he’d kept his mouth shut, watching the other three turn the sick Backstreet Boy down mercilessly. He should have done something, should have at least let Brian know that he didn’t approve of the way things had gone down.

  Defeated, he put his head in his hands, sighing resignedly. He stayed like that for a while and was about to give up and get back to his own room when he heard a muffled voice echo through the halls.

“But Dá-had! I forgot… you know… We gotta go back!”

“No, we don’t!”

“But I need it!”

“You’re twelve years old, you don’t need it!”

With growing fascination, Nick listened to the bickering between father and son. He could easily tell that Baylee had no intention of going and that Brian was clearly on edge. He bit his bottom lip and thought furiously for a moment. Suddenly he remembered what it was that Baylee was talking about and jumped into the room, in search of the worn, stuffed rabbit the boy had had since he was three. He spotted the animal lying abandoned on the floor beside one of the beds and picked it up slowly. He frowned, realizing that Baylee would have never forgotten it if he hadn’t been dragged out of the room by his father. Nick stared at the rabbit a moment longer and finally stepped out into the hallway. He could still hear the faint voices ringing through the hotel, but they were further away than before. It took him only a second to realize what that meant and immediately he set off sprinting again, following the fighting voices down the halls.

Finally he spotted the two standing in front of the elevators, backs facing him. At once, he halted, panting. He felt his heart beating a drum in his throat, partly because of the madman’s run throughout the hotel, but mostly because he had no idea of what to do next.

“Brian, Baylee, wait!” he called out weakly, feeling his knees turn into jelly. Man up, you wussy!

He watched as the father and the son turned around in surprise, and clutched the stuffed rabbit a little tighter. When Baylee saw his toy in Nick’s hands, his eyes lit up. He quickly wiped his tearstained face before running over and snatching the rabbit out of Nick’s grip.

“How’d you know?” he exclaimed in relief.

“I’m kinda guessing the entire h-hotel knows, jud-judging by the rate the t-two of you were bickering,” Nick stammered, hesitatingly flashing a glance at Brian, who hadn’t moved an inch and stared straight at him. Nick had never been afraid of his friend before, but Brian had never obviously made Baylee cry before either. So now he was more than a little reluctant to look directly at his brother.

After a long moment of silence, he felt himself obliged to speak again, “A-actually, I-I was looking for you,” he admitted softly. He couldn’t hold the stammer out of his voice, knowing that if he said the wrong thing, this was probably the last time he would ever see the two people in front of him.

“What do you want?” Brian growled in a low voice, his eyes shooting fire. Nick swallowed uneasily and in just the nanosecond he looked his friend in the eyes, all the stuff he’d wanted to say, all the stuff he’d prepared to tell Brian, flew out of his mind, leaving him speechless at the sight of the tiredness in Brian’s eyes, the unhealthy complexion of his face. He opened his mouth, but closed it again as he couldn’t find the correct words to cover this moment. Instead, he just kept staring mutely at his friend. He cursed himself over and over again, remembering the same thing happening in a dressing room, not an hour ago.

“Figures…” Brian mumbled and turned around again, punching the elevator’s button a few times for good measure.

“Brian… wait,” Nick called again, his voice breaking.

This time, Brian didn’t turn around, but he stopped pushing the button of the elevator. Nick closed his eyes in frustration, wondering why everything was falling apart all at once. He realized everything had fallen apart already a long time ago, but up ‘til this point everyone had been denying that and now… now they were all faced with the ugliest of truths.

“Brian, please…” Nick tried desperately, whispering this time, not trusting his voice anymore.

“What do you want?” Brian repeated, turning again. There was no trace of the warning growl that had laced his voice when he’d first spoken the sentence. The fire in his eyes was gone, replaced by the pale exhaustion that coated his entire posture.

Not wanting to waste any more time now, Nick didn’t care about the interested twelve year old watching them. In three long strides he forgot about all the words his mind was feverishly trying to make up. He had never been good with words anyway. This, he thought, this is my thing, as he wrapped his arms firmly around Brian’s bony frame. He felt his friend tensing considerably, but the older man didn’t try to break free.

“I don’t want you to go, I wish you could stay,” Nick murmured softly, finally letting the tears escape his eyes.

Brian gave a deep sigh and finally relaxed in the offered embrace. As Nick noticed his friend returning the hug, he realized that those had been the words Brian had been waiting for. For someone that cared enough to want him to stay.