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actually uploaded things quick this time :D

  1. Battlesong

May 1993

Seaworld. They were going to be the greatest band in history and Seaworld was a good place to start. The greatest band without a name anyway. Together only for two weeks, Lou had come in one day to announce that he got them a gig. Nick had watched with a level of satisfaction how New Guy, who’d never performed for something other than his church or school, seemed to have a complete nervous breakdown. He’d wanted to ask why New Guy had even considered joining a band if he was too scared to perform, but had kept his mouth shut when he’d seen Kevin’s warning glare. He’d noticed that Kevin made a great deal of keeping an eye on Nick and New Guy, afraid they’d fight each other out of their skins. Nick assumed he was probably right. But when Kevin wasn’t looking, he’d make sure to make New Guy’s life to a living hell. He’d actually been surprised when New Guy, who he considered awfully mild mannered, had begun to fight back. It had gotten to a point they couldn’t even look at each other without saying something nasty. But it was always Nick that started it, and he was proud of that, it let him know that he was in charge.

Now the five of them were sitting on a bench on a market square, totally exhausted from rehearsing their performance over and over again, planning everything out into the smallest details so that nothing could go wrong. Nick had noticed that New Guy had refused any major leads, probably scared that he would shit his pants if he would have to sing solo. Some artist you are. Nick hadn’t wasted any chance on taking the parts instead and he felt considerably satisfied with what they had accomplished that day. There was only one problem: they didn’t have a name for their act. They had everything else, but that wouldn’t matter a damn thing if they couldn’t be announced as a group. They’d spent the rest of the afternoon wrecking their brains over possible names, but hadn’t gotten anywhere so far.

“What about ‘The Shoplifters’?” AJ suggested, his eyebrows raised.

“Why are you unable to come up with a name that doesn’t sound like we’re perverts or criminals… or both?” Howie replied.

“I haven’t actually heard you come up with anything, D.” Howie and AJ had known each other for years and they were always bickering, but they never seemed to mean a word of what they said to each other.

Nick had long since given up on his suggestions, as New Guy brusquely denied all of them. It sucked, they had agreed that the decision must be unanimous, so any suggestion Nick made, would be refused by New Guy. On the other side New Guy hadn’t even bothered making suggestion, cause he probably knew that Nick would reject them. Their stubbornness left the two out of the game and Nick watched sullenly as New Guy stared off in the distance. All hope was vested in Kevin now.

“Kev?” Howie asked in a begging tone. Kevin seemed lost in thought, not noticing anything around him, so he must be thinking of something good.

“How about ‘I have no freaking idea’?” he offered.

“No,” the other four said in unison and Kevin laughed.

“Seriously guys, don’t look at me, I’ve never been good with making up names and stuff.’’ Which left Kevin out of the game as well.

“What was it you were saying again, Alex?” Nick asked, out of options.

“’The Shoplifters’, and it’s AJ by the way, Nickolas,” AJ replied, sticking out his tongue.

“The Shoplifters’,” Nick repeated, nodding, “could work…”

“Ugh, don’t tell me you’re actually considering that,” Howie said, “it’s repulsive.”

“I know, but we’re kind of running out of other options here, and it’s the best one he’s suggested so far. Or do you want to go with ‘The Peeping Toms’?” Nick responded fiercely.

“Well no, but there’s gotta be something normal we can think of.”

“Such as?”

“What about Backstreet?” It seemed to get out of nowhere and Nick was about to automatically say no, when he heard New Guy open his mouth, but something made him stop. Instead he said: “What?”

“Backstreet,” New Guy repeated and he looked at Nick with his eyebrows high, daring him to reject. But Nick couldn’t and wouldn’t deny it, for it was absolutely brilliant, but he would never admit that. There was something missing though. Nick began to smile ecstatically, which made New Guy frown insecurely.

“Backstreet Boys,” Nick stretched the words, savouring the sound, loving every  single syllable of the name.

“Well done, boys, we’ve got ourselves a name!” Kevin exclaimed, standing up, he came to stand in front of the group.

“Anyone have an objection?” he questioned.

Everyone kept his mouth shut.

“Then it is settled, from now on, we shall be the Backstreet Boys, the greatest pop band of the 20th century!” Kevin spoke solemnly.

“Amen to that bro!” AJ yelled, high-fiving Howie.

Nick kept staring at New Guy, who kept staring at Nick, attempting a small smile at his younger band mate.

“Sounds like we’ve got ourselves a name,” New Guy said, his eyes never leaving Nick’s.

Nick didn’t answer. The “we” thing was bothering him. They were supposed to fight each other, not making up names together. Not actually working together. It wasn’t part of the plan. He suddenly realized what New Guy was trying to do. He’s offering a truce.

“We should go and celebrate,” New Guy stated, his gaze still fixated on Nick.

“Not if you’re gonna be there,” Nick responded and with that, he stood up, walking away.

“Yeah run off, you chicken shit!” New Guy called.

Nick smiled, his back facing the others. It was war again, and Nick wouldn’t have it any other way, cause he didn’t know how to handle peace with New Guy. He turned around briefly to give his offender the finger and finally walked away, satisfied.

 

September 2015

“You want what? Why?” Kevin exclaimed, his eyebrows furrowing together.

“You know why,” Nick said. Of all people, Kevin should be able to understand. He’d been the inventor of leaving in the first place.

“No I don’t, explain why,” Kevin challenged. Nick sighed, he really didn’t want to explain things to Kevin, or to anyone for that matter. He didn’t want to elaborate on stuff that was in the past, stuff he was trying to forget, trying to block out in more ways than just one.

“I just feel like I’ve closed the chapter of boy bands,” he replied and flinched, he knew Kevin still despised the term ‘boy band’.

“So what? You’re going solo?” Kevin asked disbelievingly.

“No. Look, I’m just tired of all this shit, okay? I just need to do something different for a while, need to get out of this business.” The words sounded familiar, they were similar to the ones Kevin had said so many years ago, but used in an entire different situation.

“Nick listen, I know how you feel, okay? We all feel that way. It may seem useless now, but I promise it will get better, alright?”

“Don’t make promises Kevin. You know they won’t come true.”

“Just give it some time Nicky, it will get better, I’m sure.”

“No Kev! It won’t get better and it won’t be alright. Everything is so fucked up, why can’t you see that, damnit!”

“You don’t think I see that? He was my cousin, Nickolas, my family!”

“I know… I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. It’s alright to be upset, and maybe you’re right. Maybe we’re looking for replacement too early, but I don’t know what else to do.”

“It’s only been a year Kev. And how can we ever find proper replacement? He’ll never be good enough,” Nick tried sullenly.

Kevin smiled sadly. “You said that about Brian once too, remember?”

“That was different.”

“Yeah… you two were at it the hard way…” Kevin was still smiling, lost in a faint memory of a time when everything was indeed alright.

“We got over it,” Nick replied quietly.

“Thank God you did, cause there were times I was scared that we needed to break up before we had even started,” Kevin said jokingly. Nick was smiling now too, all the anger evaporating, replaced by the dark tiredness that never seemed to go away.

“You wouldn’t have let it come that far.”

“Maybe not. I don’t know and I’m glad I didn’t have to find out.”

“You’re welcome,” Nick laughed softly as Kevin smacked him on his head.

“Look, I just think it’s time to move on. Time to… you know…” Kevin whispered and Nick closed his eyes.

“No… say it…” the younger man choked out.

“… let go…”

 

Chapter End Notes:

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