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ah yes, finally got around to update. Please review for more updates :P

  1. 1.       Greater Than Sex

May 1993

It wasn’t like he hadn’t been at SeaWorld before. He used to go there every year on Easter. He’d never have to perform at SeaWorld though. He felt his heart hammering in his throat as they waited impatiently for their turn. Sure, he’d been excited before, but never like this. This was going to be their big break, they were gonna be popstars, they were going to be famous, they were the greatest five in the world, they were…

 “Oh my God! I can’t do this!” the greatest four in the world.

Nick rolled his eyes and tried to concentrate on the three men in front of him, while ignoring the crouching figure to his left.

“Well, you don’t have to go on, we can do this as four you know,” he mumbled through clenched teeth.

“Oh yes, you would surely like that, wouldn’t you!” New Guy lashed out. Apparently anxiety gave him more volume. Good to know.

“Why did you join the group if you’re too scared to be on stage then?” Nick replied hatefully.

“To go and annoy the crap outta you!” It was New Guy’s standard answer, because it wasn’t the first time Nick asked the question.

“Boys, be nice!” AJ growled. Nick smiled as he saw the boy bite his nails anxiously. Everyone was scared, that was obvious and he sighed in relief. At least I’m not the only one then.

“Yes Alex, sir!” he saluted and AJ laughed.

“It’s AJ for you, young man!” he demanded.

“Yes Al…, errh, I mean AJ sir!” They both erupted in a bolt of laughter. Goofing off was their way of releasing the tension they felt. They’d always done it, as long as he’d known AJ, which was over a year now. On his left, Nick felt New Guys angry glare upon him and AJ, but chose to ignore the Southerner. That was what he did most of the time anyway. It was nice to pretend there were still only four people in the band and somewhere inside him, there was a little bit of hope left that if only he waited long enough, New Guy would go away by himself. It also helped that New Guy seemed to hate him just as much now, so they were usually ignoring each other. AJ didn’t belong to the ignoring union though.

“Hey B-Rok, what’s the glare for?” the scrawny 15 year old asked and Nick sighed exasperated. New Guy had only been there for two weeks and they already had a cool nickname for him. Nick didn’t have a cool nickname, and he thought, of all people, he’d deserve a cool nickname. Kevin called him Chaos sometimes, but Nick considered that as an insult, rather than a nickname. So he started to call Kevin Train, for no matter what you did, proposed or invented, Kevin would always come around and thunder over everything, just like a train. He was too cool to take Nick seriously though, which destroyed half the fun of course. AJ had declared himself as Bone, for obvious reasons. He had a nasty obsession over skulls and was terribly skimpy by nature. Bone suited him. Much unlike New Guy’s name. Nick had never bothered to ask, but he assumed B-Rok had something to do with Rock’n’Roll, and as he looked at the pale and shaky guy that stood next to him now, he didn’t know how AJ had ever even come up with the name.

Before New Guy could think of an excuse for his angry stare, a crew member came up to the group.

“Four minutes, guys, are you ready?” Nick nodded and saw New Guys eyes get big as he swallowed difficultly. How cool would it be if he fainted, Nick wondered and smiled to himself. His mind on pure evil mode, he pushed New Guy to the ground. The blond fell on his bum and Nick saw the fire explode in his blue eyes. Shit. Nick suddenly realized that, if New Guy was really the ‘funny’ guy AJ claimed him to be, this wasn’t the best time to find out. He had about three seconds to plan an escape, before he felt his feet being pulled from underneath him. Losing his balance immediately, he crashed to the ground on his ass, right next to New Guy. He could hear AJs roaring laughter somewhere above him and realized just how funny the two of them must look. Nick smiled sweetly at the tormented guy next to him, who was looking like he was going to fulminate right in front of him, as he stared at Nick with his arms crossed and his jaw clenched.

“Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to push you, I just lost my momentum or something like that,” he stated innocently. They both knew it was a lie, just like Nick intended to.

“My butt hurts,” was all New Guy said, before standing up stiffly.

“Guys, you’re on in twenty seconds!” the crew member came into view again as Nick too stood up, rubbing his behind grimacing.

“Let’s do this,” he heard New Guy grumble and looked at him in surprise. All the tension had vanished from the boy’s face, replaced by a stern determination, probably coming from the anger burning in his veins.

The show was great, the most exciting feeling Nick had felt in his whole life. This was what he was made for, this was his calling. If he’d known what sex felt like, he’d say it felt greater than sex.

High on adrenaline, he heard New Guy sing the only solo he hadn’t been able to turn down, and could easily feel the emotion New Guy was pouring into it. It sounded awesome and Nick smiled at Brian, then realized he hated the guy, and went on ignoring New Guy again.

 

September 2015

“Who do you think you are, you can’t leave!” Howie glared at him. Over the years, after everything that had happened, there was nothing left of Sweet D.

“Why not? Kevin left once too, remember?” Nick shouted a little louder than he had intended.

“That was an entire different situation!” Howie yelled back and Nick scoffed. Once he had mentioned his departure, the meeting he’d called had soon turned into a shouting match.

“Right! What about Brian? He left!” He knew he was going too far, that he’d hit a sensitive spot. But right at that point, he couldn’t care less.

“Don’t you say that! Brian didn’t have a choice!” Howie said, a little more insecure this time.

“Yeah, cause we forced him to leave!” Nick yelled, if he wanted to destroy Howie’s defences, he didn’t have to go much further.

“Shut up Nick!” Howard yelled, which only fuelled Nick’s anger more. All his life he’d been told to shut up once the other didn’t know what to say anymore. Not that they’d ever listened to him anyway.

“No, you shut up! Don’t pretend like you’ve ever even tried to contact him! Or have you already declared him dead?” It was the final blow, and a heavy one. He watched satisfied as Howie began to shut down. A darkness took over his brown eyes and he shrunk back in his chair. AJ saw it too and frowned angrily at Nick. Of course, after all these years, AJ was still sticking up for Howard like he used to.

“Yeah? Well, what about you, huh? When was the last time you spoke to Brian?”

 Nick stared at AJ for a long time and finally sighed, defeated.

“I dunno. He’s mad at me.”

“I know, he’s mad at all of us, and he has a good reason. But so did we.”

Nick didn’t respond, he knew AJ was right, but that didn’t mean their situation didn’t still suck.

“Okay, is it settled then?” Kevin asked, who hadn’t said a word since the meeting started, he’d just sat back and observed, like he’d often done in the past. Only when the situation escalated, he was there to prevent the worse. But there was only so much he could prevent.

“What’s settled?” Howie and Nick asked in unison.

“Nick’s not leaving the band, cause if we lose one more member, there’s gonna be nothing left,” Kevin explained.

Nick, about to protest, thought about it for a moment instead and finally spoke up, “Okay, I won’t leave, but,” he stretched and looked his bandmates purposely in the eyes, “we’re not getting a new guy, cause I find that rather disrespectful.”

He could see the other guys clenching their jaws, thinking hard to come up with a solution that would make all of them happy.

“I don’t know…” AJ mumbled.

“Come on! We didn’t replace Kevin!” Nick exclaimed, waving his hand at the oldest member.

“That’s because we always knew Kevin would come back one day. We just have to face it. Brian’s never coming back,” Howie said softly. The room went quiet. Howie had spoken a truth all of them liked to ignore. Saying it out loud made it all the more… true.

“You think I don’t know that?” Nick said finally, “All I ask is that we give him some respect and leave his spot empty. Forever.” 

Chapter End Notes:

finally feel like we're getting somewhere? I know I do...