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Chapter Forty


When we got to Nick's place, it was already abuzz with vendors waiting to deliver and set up. Nick grinned as he settled into the chairs on the deck and watched, pulling his sunglasses onto his face and reclining the chair back so he was in the direct sunlight. I imagie it must've been interesting, like watching the Whos in Whoville prepare for Christmas or something. I wouldn't know because as everyone set up, I scrambled around with a clipboard making sure everyone knew what they were doing and where things were going to create the wonderland of a party that Nick had envisioned from the beginning.

"The balloon archs need to be centered on either end of the pool from the staging," I said, waving the balloons guys back from each other. I caught a caterer setting up a table between two dolphin shaped statues - "No, no, not there. Over there. By the deck there... OI!" My eyes had caught sight of a guy trying to run a neon orange extension cord across the freshly mowed lawn, "What's with the freakin' eyesore wire?" He waved at the speakers. "Get a green one!" I yelled. He grumbled and walked away.

Nick grinned as I sat down with a heavy sigh of exhaustion as the vendors all scurried around. I closed my eyes and smacked the clipboard to my forehead. "Jesus Christ, could they hire stupider people for these jobs?" I moaned.

Nick laughed. "You're brilliant," he said.

"Yeah, well, any time you feel like coming out there and taking some of the duty, feel free, Mr. Cabana Boy."

"I'd just get in the way. Nobody takes it seriously when I yell at them," he said. "That's why I don't keep help around here."

"What about your landscaper?"

Nick looked confused for just a second. "Oh. Yeah, him. He's different. He barely speaks English." Nick turned and grabbed a Pepsi that had appeared at his elbow at some point while I was running around commanding the delivery guys.

"Just admit you're a lazy ass diva and get it over with," I said, shaking my head.

Nick grinned.

I looked up just as the sound system guy was rolling the orange extension cord across the lawn again. "Fucking hell," I groaned, "I just told him not to use that one." I leaped to my feet and rushed across the deck. "What did I say about that damn orange cord!" I yelled.

"It's the only one that'll stretch," he answered.

"So use two green ones stuck together!"

"That's four cords!"

"Do you know whose party this is?" I demanded, folding my arms across my chest.

The guy sighed and rolled the cord back up again and went back to his truck.

Nick clapped from his seat. "See, why the hell would I get up when I can just watch you boss these guys around? It's a good show."

"Why I oughtta---"

"Where do you want the light rigging?" a vendor called.

I pointed at Nick. "You just wait. I'll be back to get you."

He cheesed. "I look forward to that."

I wanted to make some smart ass remark, but the twinkle in his eyes all but turned my knees to jam and I knew if I tried it'd only come out sounding stupid so all I did was give him the Keeping-My-Eyes-On-You hand motion before I hustled off to finish the prepping of the party grounds process.

It was close to five o'clock when everything was set up and the lights were on. Balloons crowded the grass, colored spotlights lit up the dolphins, stringlights crisscrossed over the pool, the deck was a menagerie of delicious smelling foods being heated up by the caterers, a champagne fountain and a couple guys dressed like penguins with stacks of champagne flutes waited to the side. The DJ was sound-testing the equipment and I was running my finger over and over my check list when Nick came up behind me and slid his arms around my waist.

"You've done it perfectly," he said thickly into my ear, "Everything is beautiful. You're amazing."

"I feel like I'm forgetting something," I muttered, rereading my checklist again.

"You haven't," Nick argued. "It's perfect." He grabbed the list out of my hands, and kissed my mouth as I turned to protest. "Shh," he commanded. "It's time to get you ready. C'mon." He pulled me across the lawn and into the house, tossing my clipboard onto the counter. We went up stairs and he led me into his bedroom, which I'd never been in. The room was huge, with a California King-sized bed installed with a wall-length picture window view of the ocean. It had a canopy and -- you gotta be kidding me -- a mirror over the bed.

I pointed. "How 50 Shades of you," I commented.

Nick grinned.

I ran my hand over his bed. The sheets were the softest sheets I ever felt in my life. "How do you get up in the morning?" I asked.

"Sometimes I don't," he confessed.

I crawled onto the bed and laid down. "Jesus this was a mistake," I groaned. "I'm gonna have to skip the party. I'm gonna just lay here and pretend I'm in a god-damn cloud instead."

Nick laughed. He came over and crawled onto the bed next to me. "Wanna test out that mirror?" he asked in a low, throaty voice.

I laughed, "Do we have time?"

"There's always time for Jello," he mumbled, and he kissed me, falling across me.

"Room," I muttered into his mouth as his hands pushed my shirt up. "There's always room for Jello."

"Fuck Jello," he muttered back into my mouth.

I laughed, "I can't fuck Jello, I'm fucking you."

"Mmm, yes you are."

A half an hour later and my hair looked like a bird had tried to nest in it and he was covered in sweat and we were laying there breathless.

"Guess we should get ready for the party now, huh?" I panted.

"Yeah, probably," Nick panted back.

I stared up at him in the mirror. He looked so damn sexy. He grinned, catching my eye in our reflection. "Hi there," he said.

"Hi," I replied.

"You're sexy," he said. He smiled, and rolled to look into my eyes.

"No I'm not."

He shook his head, "You really are." He brushed my hair behind my ear. "What in hell do you see in me?" he asked, and his eyes clouded.

I couldn't believe he was asking me that. "What?" I asked, a laugh catching in my throat. "What do you mean?"

"I mean... What do you possibly see in me? I'm kind of a tool."

"Kind of?"

"No seriously." Nick sighed. He rolled onto his back again. "You really love me, don't you? Do you know how much that blows my mind?"

"Lots of people love you."

"Not me, but you seem to for God only knows what reason."

"You're sweet, you're gentle, you're respectful, you're thoughtful, you're good." I reached over and turned his head to face me, "You're kind."

Nick blinked up at me. He drew a deep breath, "I wish those things were true," he said, "But sometimes I'm so far from being any of those things that it hurts me to think of you thinking I am those things."

I shook my head. "I believe in you," I said, "And what you've been in the past doesn't matter to me. It's what you are now, who you choose to be in the future."

Nick swallowed. "Do we have choices?"

"Of course we do," I replied. "We all do."

Nick closed his eyes and hmmm-ed quietly. "I guess we'll see."

I laughed, "Guessing isn't choosing. It's guessing. You have to choose." I kissed his nose. "You're a good guy. Believe it. Choose it." I looked at the clock. "For now, we gotta choose to get dressed or all your guests are gonna show up and find us naked in bed."

"Like John and Yoko," Nick laughed.

"Mmhm," I nodded, and crawled off the bed.

He caught my wrist as I started to walk away. "You really believe I have a choice to be good?" he asked.

I paused. "You already are good," I said, shaking my head, "You have a choice to see that and believe it for yourself or not. That's your choice."

Nick watched me as I went over to the closet door where he'd hung up the two garment bags that held his suit and my dress and I unzipped the bag and pulled the soft green material down from the hanger. "Thank you," he said.

"For?"

"Everything," Nick said.

"No problem, Nick." I smirked. "I expect a good Christmas bonus, that's all."

Nick laughed.