Author's Chapter Notes:
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Special Shout out too..
Kyrie, Hazel, Brian_Fan_4eva, Carter, JuJube, JordansLady39
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing it means so very much to me.
Much Love,
Rosalie
Special Shout out too..
Kyrie, Hazel, Brian_Fan_4eva, Carter, JuJube, JordansLady39
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing it means so very much to me.
Much Love,
Rosalie
Sophia's POV
We completely missed the soundcheck party that day and we arrived just in time for the concert. Through all the hussle and bussle of nick getting into costume. It hit me I was backstage at a backstreet boy's contest. I was the girl that Nick decided to take home at the end of the day. He choose me over anyone, he choose me and it felt great.
I have never been more proud of my guy. It is awesome to see him in all of his glory, doing what he loves. Singing and dancing and most importantly the huge step he took with me, the step we took together. We opened up about things with each other and told each other things we have never told anyone before. He finally let me know about his sister;s tragic death, and how when he first thought lauren was cheating on him, he had a moment of weakness and went and bought an eight ball of cocaine.
How he planned on taking it. He had it all lined out on the hotel suite mirror that he took off the wall hours earlier on that rainy day.
He told me how he grabbed the red 50 canadian bill out of his jeans pocket rolled it up, and bent down and was about to snort it. When his cell phone rang and the caller ID was Leslie's cell. Leslie died six months earlier. Nick took it as a sign and flushed it.
He told me he has never told anyone that. I told him about my family and how close we were and how my dad used to wake me up to watch the thunder and lightning storms. I told him my mom was the small towns seamstress, and how she made my wedding dress. I told him about my siblings, and my husband James...
Flashback...
“So I told you all about my family, now its time you tell me what you are running from.”
Nick found an old granola bar hidden in the console of his car. Between our conservations he was complaining about how hungry he was.
I am learning Nick is slightly like a three year old when he is hungry. Not to mention we haven't moved in a while, the accident up ahead must be bad with all the emergency vehicles that are are on the scene. Nick keeps looking at me patiently to answer the question.
“I don't know” I stare out the window watching people get out of their cars and stretch the stiffness out, nick moves his hands to my chin “No secrets, remember” to get me to look into his understanding eyes.
I close my eyes and feel my eyes water I press my lips hard together “It didn't feel like home anymore.”I whispered as I told Nick my personal love story.
“The man I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with died in an accident. I was driving his Red Shelby Mustang. I was 7 months pregnant at the time. I paused to think of the rights words to say.
"He told me that night he cheated on me, it was raining.”
I told him the rest of the story with my eyes closed as I remembered that horrible night. As I remembered the sirens, the screaming, the yelling. The screeching of the tires trying to stop on wet pavement.
“The skid marks show we were both driving way to fast.” I whispered and Nick nodded knowingly understandly.
His family blames me for the accident I was driving the car and another car hit us. The person that hit us walks our small town everyday. Her blood Alcohol level was fine, but her level of illegal substances was not. She killed him and my baby instantly. I may not have given birth to her, but she was my baby girl.
Nick motioned for me to continue..as he grabbed my other hand and kissed them “I am so sorry baby, I wish I had the right words.”
Nick grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight as it was getting harder for me to speak because the lump in my throat kept getting bigger, and bigger.
“His family doesn't know that he was cheating on me...oddly enough the lady driving the car was the lady he cheated on me with. It was his Secretary who just got out of highschool, it was her summer job. I took a deep breath as it was getting harder and harder to complete my thoughts.
“James was a basketball coach. I guess he needed a head cheerleader.” I paused as wiped the water that was pooling over my eyelashes. I wiped the tears away.
“Its not your fault you know Soph”
“I could say the same to you about Leslie.” I looked up into his deep watery and red eyes.
“I know you could, but we could play the blame game forever. Its not going to bring Leslie or James back.”
“Things weren't perfect with us- I had no idea he was cheating. He said it only happened once and it didn't mean anything.”
“Later at the funeral- Mary, told me she was pregnant with his twins. They were sleeping together for two years it started when he was her gym teacher.”
I believed her she seemed so scared “I gave her a lot of my babies things the day I left. When I made up my mind.”
“I left because it was to hard. To see her protruding belly. To see his parents on the street they acted like they didn't even know me. I was depressed and pushed all of my family away. It was just to hard. Everything was hard.” I slammed my fist against the grey dashboard and bursted into tears.
Nick pulled me into a hug and I sobbed for what seemed like hours he just held me and whispered
“Don't leave me” I whispered
“Everything is going to be okay, its okay baby- I am not going anywhere.
End of Flashback
Today was what I am sure mine and A.J's leader would say “Today was a breakthrough day.” Yea it was hard talking about it, but it felt like a really big weight has been lifted off my shoulders. My heart doesn't feel as heavy. Nick makes me feel things- we have a level of comfortable with eachother that doesn't make sense for just knowing someone for the few months that we have known eachother but we work.
We are both badly damaged and have a lot of things that we need to work through. As long as we keep talking to eachother we will be just fine. I was so emotionally drained- I wanted tonight to be perfect with Nick it was our last night together for a few weeks. I was going to miss him, he brought me out of the dark hole I was hiding in. I loved him, I feel like he is my light, my water, food and energy. He is my everything. I know its not good to rely on someone else for my own happiness, I do though, I really do.
The light coming from the on-suite bathroom mixed with the steam and smell of Nicks body wash, and Nick naked with a towel wrapped around him, and the emotional rollercoaster we have been on today. Made my head spin. I gulped as I saw the water beading from his body slowly driping and leaving a trail over to the bed where he sat next to me he dropped his towel and I saw the white towel pool at his feet. I watched as nick put a pair of boxers on.
“You enjoying the book? It really helped me.” Nick gave me a book to read on death, love, and loss. I have been trying to read it by I keep getting sidetracked away from the book, and into the thoughts of my head. He had given me the book to read once we got home tonight, he said he needed to take care of a few last minute flight arrangements and he smelled so he was going to take a shower.
I kept looking at his body “I was- I seem to be more interested in something else now.”
“Hmm...what could that be?” Nick smirked as he moved on the bed so he was hovering over me.
“Make love to me.” I stare up into his eyes. Nick searches my eyes. As I pull his head down forcefully and his lips crash to mine soon to be swollen lips.
“More than anything.” I whisper
Nick smiles and whispers in my air “Your wish is my command.”
Chapter End Notes:
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