...well…it was more like his entire upper body. Nick…the ever helpful one…was boosting him into the laundry chute in a very sad attempt of retrieving his toupee which had accidentally been tossed in the laundry, by one of the new nurses, along with the bed sheets. Now, it would seem very odd that this incident would remind the men of their previous talks to do another tour…however; it may come as no surprise to find out that a very similar incident had happened many years ago on a previous tour.
“Try to wiggle yourself loose Bri. I’m not sure I can hold you much longer.” Shifting a little, Nick tried to keep his balance. “Can you see it? Did you get it?”
“Just…a little more…” Brian stretched as much as he could, not really being able to move much. “…hey Nick? I’m getting some…uh…what do they call it? Dijon?”
“Mustard? Are you upchucking? That’s totally gross dude!” With a wrinkled nose, Nick turned his head away while still keeping a hold of Brian’s feet.
“No…no…that thing…what do they call it? When you feel like you’re reliving something that already happened before? Dijon right? Dejay?”
“Don’t you mean parlay?” Nick grunted, now trying to help get Brian out, rather than just holding him up for support.
“I thought parlay was a pirate thing?”
“What in sam hell…?!” Another voice broke into the mix, making both men freeze for a moment.
“Busteeeed! How come we always get caught Bri? Oh! Hey…maybe he can help. Howie…”
“Dear God have mercy…he’s stuck again, isn’t he?.” A deep sigh filled the hallway as Howie shook his head. “I’ll have someone call the fire department.”
“Did someone say…fire department?! No worries…I’m here.” Racing up to them, Kevin’s eyes lit up. “I’m a fire fighter! I can save the day! What’s wrong?”
“Can’t you see…Brian is…”
“There’s a cat stuck in a tree?! Little Timmy fell down the well?!”
“No Kevin…” Howie rubbed his forehead, starting to wonder if Nick was right about Alzheimer’s actually being a fun place. “…Nick got Brian stuck…
“Nick got Brian stuck in a tree?!”
“…in the laundry chute. Again. Right there. Can’t you see Brian’s legs? Maybe I should go get the nurse.” With one more look at the three men, Howie zoomed off down the hallway as fast as his power scooter could go. Once out of sight, Kevin grabbed one of Brian’s legs and started to tug.
“Never fear! Don’t you shed a tear. I will get you out of here!”
“Oh now this shit is amusing. What the fuck are you clowns doing?” AJ walked up, looking at them funny. Kevin was tugging on one leg with one hand as his other hand was unsuccessfully trying to maneuver his walker. And then there was Nick who tied Brain’s shoe laces around his cane and was trying to tug him out by pulling on it.
“We’re trying to get him unstuck. What does it look like, smart ass?!” Rubbernecking to glare at AJ, Nick kept tugging which only made Brian scream like a 12 year old school girl.
“I’d rather be a smart ass…than a dumb ass…which is what you bozos are, because you’re doing it wrong. Watch. And learn.” After leaning his cane against the wall, AJ stepped up between Brian’s legs, wrapping his arms around his thighs.
“This does not feel appropriate! If I feel my zipper come down, heads are gonna roll!”
“Shut up, Brian. No heads can roll unless we get your ass outta there.” With that said AJ positioned his heels against the wall and began to lean forward with all his weight. “Damn. Someone needs to butter you up like a lobster Bri.” Just a few moments later, the men crashed to the floor in a pile.
“Damn mother fucker, you landed on my bad knee!”
“I still didn’t get my hair!”
“It’s ok…no one worry…my cane is just fine. Although the Bucs flag may need some scotch tape.”
“Did we save the cat?”
“Oh…” Howie came to a stop, looking up at the nurse. “…I guess they got him free. And it looks like they are all alive, too…shocker.”
“Well…I think you gentlemen have had enough excitement for the day. How about we all go outside and sit in the flower garden?” Once all the men were turned right side back up, she helped them all outside into the warm yet overcast day. “There we go…nice and relaxing.”
“I just can’t believe you got stuck in a laundry chute again. Remember when that happened on…was it the Black and Blue tour?” Howie engaged his parking brake and leaned back in his seat, trying to recall the details.
“I think it may have been, but I can’t really remember. Whenever it was…I think it hurt more this time than it did last time.” Making a face, Brian rubbed his side. “Wait…that reminds me…weren’t we talking about going back on tour?”
“Yeah. We were.” Everyone, aside from Kevin who was playing ‘she loves me, she loves me not’ with a daisy, nodded as their minds returned to the idea. One could almost smell smoke in the air as the gears started turning again. “I really think we should do it.” Nick’s eyes sparkled with delight, hoping that they would all agree to go through with it.
“Hell to the fuck yeah, we should! You bet your ass I’m game!” Not even old age could tone down AJ’s colorful vocabulary, but all things considered…that’s part of what made AJ…AJ. He pulled out one of his cigars and looked around. “This place isn’t really all that bad but…nothing beats the open road…the screaming fans…the rush of being on stage.”
“We took a break, now it’s time to go back to work.” Go figure, Howie was more focused on the working aspect, rather than all the fun touring would involve. Most of their best memories happened on one tour or another.
“What kind a work?!” AJ challenged the others with a smirk and raised brow.
“HARD WORK!” Ok, maybe they needed to work on that a little. None of them were in sync, AJ nearly hacked up a lung after the first word and Kevin shouted…
“SHE LOVES ME!” …instead.
No matter how out of sync they were, the men still had that united love for music and they had faith that it would be enough to pull this off. So the planning began…without Kevin’s input.
“So first…we have to get out of here. The windows are a no go…they alarmed every one of them after Nick’s last escape attempt.”
“Forget the damn failed escape attempt, Brian. That was the time he let Skullzee get out. I’m still mad about that, shit head.” With a death glare aimed right at Nick, AJ crossed his arms. He didn’t talk to Nick for almost a week after losing his pet lizard.
“I’m sorry! I just thought I’d have better luck getting out of your window because of it being in the back of the building. I told you that I would get you a new lizard but you said no.”
“No other lizard could take Skullzee’s place.”
“Hey…are we doing this or are we gonna sit and argue over a lost lizard?” Howie questioned, pulling out the notepad from inside his wicker basket. “The windows are out. As is just walking out the front door. What other ideas can we come up with?”
“Could we…somehow get ourselves taken to the hospital? Maybe it would be easier to get out of there?”
“Hm. That might be an idea.” Jotting down Nick’s suggestion, Howie then looked back up at the others. “Does anyone else have an idea?”
“What if we get Joslin and Lillian to take us to a movie?” AJ grinned at the thought of the sisters who owned the nursing home. Lillian wasn’t the only one to marry a Backstreet son…Joslin was Baylee Littrell’s wife…and the two women were very dedicated to making sure all 5 of the men were well taken care of. “They like taking us out places. So…we go to movie…then one by one, we sneak out of the theater to use the bathroom…get a coke…whatever…”
“…they we make a break for it. Now there is a winning idea!” Quickly, Howie scribbled down the plan. “Any other input?”
“I say we give that a whirl and if it doesn’t work…we can brain storm some more. But I think AJ might be onto something.” Brian grinned, knowing his daughter in-law wouldn’t turn him down if he asked. “I’ll talk to Joslin tonight. Does anyone know what’s playing?”
“There is that new comedy out…you know…the one with Suri Cruise and…” Nick trailed off as Ella brought out a snack for them, smiling as she gave them each a small bowl of red jello and a kiss on the forehead. Once they thanked her, she turned and left them to their talk.
“Hey wait a minute…who put this in my jello?!?”
