Second Chapter
Nick wasn’t worried. At all.
Why should he be worried? Only because had chosen to go out without a jacket or an umbrella when it seemed like heaven had decided to unleash a downpour so close to be related to the Flood?
No, Nick wasn’t worried. At all.
Although Brian’s phone kept ringing and no one was picking up. It made sense, of course. Brian was still angry but, most of all, he was still licking the wounds caused by Nick’s words of accusation. And he was known to be so stubborn to wait until he had calmed down to come back and apologize. It didn’t really matter who had been right or wrong because Brian always, always, apologized and, after awhile, even Nick had learnt how to do it. In his own way, without words because they always seemed to fly away before he could catch them or because they never came out as he wanted; Nick had learnt to apologize in his own way, with gestures that tasted of caresses and kisses, and try to make it up to Brian for whatever disaster he had created.
This time, though, tasted of something totally different,
A strange melody was dancing through the rooms of the house and it was a disorganized harmony of raindrops hitting against the windows; of rumblings of thunders, playing hide and seek as naughty kids and, lastly, those guitar chords barely stung by Nick’s fingers. It was a habit that he had taken up only a few years ago, since he had started to study more seriously that instrument: strangely playing it, without caring so much about notes or melodies, seemed to let him think over or let go of all those thoughts that clouded his mind as if they were too higher and bigger waves.
Nick wasn’t worried. But he wasn’t relaxed either. He couldn’t be when the two of them fought or argued because fear was always creeping around the corner, ready to throw its web as soon as Nick would lower his defenses and show his weaknesses. Rationally Nick knew that there was no reason at all for that fear to exist but it would only take just one single moment of freedom and Nick would had ended up agreeing with that vulnerable part of himself that saw, in the fight, the last drop of water in an already overfilled vase. Like the wicked of the witches, that fear whispered and murmured about how Brian had finally realized how childish Nick was and that he should and could find someone else who was way better than him, someone who could be perfect and more worth to stand by his side. Nick didn’t really believe in that voice but it kept hissing without a break until Brian’s smile, that smile that told everyone how Nick was the most important person in his world, would throw that voice back inside the darkness. And maybe he was being a little bit too much modest but Nick knew that that smile was the truth, that he was really the most important person for Brian, because he shared the same feeling and emotion about Brian: no matter what happened, Brian was and would always been the most important person in his own world and universe.
No, Nick wasn’t worried at all.
And yet he couldn’t push away that bad feeling that nested within his gut and was slowly wrapping itself around it, piercing the skin with its long claws as time kept slipping away. It was something that Nick couldn’t really explained because he had felt that sensation each and every time something would happened to Brian and it had never been wrong. That was the reason why Nick kept looking at the phone; that was why he kept dialing Brian’s number and silently praying and hoping for an answer. Just so that he could prove that bad feeling wrong.
What happened next was so quickly and suddenly. First there had been a lightning, so bright that it shook Nick even though he had never been scared by it before; then came the thunder, cutting the power off not only inside that house but even all around the neighborhood. The dull sound quivered through the walls, sounding as the scolding of a grouchy parent and managed in making Nick jumping from the couch. Although the blame wasn’t only on the thunder but more on the second sound that followed shortly after, the sound of a door slamming coming not from the doorway, as it should had been, but from upstairs. Nick’s heart started beating furiously inside his chest as the mind raced between images of thieves or fans that, somehow and in some ways, had managed to find out where they lived and got inside.
“Okay, Nick. Don’t panic. It’s only the wind. It has to be only the wind.” Nick repeated to himself while he got up and walked, trying not to bump into tables or other furniture, towards the kitchen, where he knew that Brian kept some flashlights. Nick was about to rummage through the drawers, ruining the perfect and almost maniac order made by Brian when the power suddenly came back as the rain started to come down slower and slower: the storm centre had softened and it wouldn’t now take too much time for it to be over. That made Nick feel better in part, thinking about how Brian was still out there and who knew exactly where.
For a quick second Nick almost decided not to go upstairs and check the source of that unknown sound but that thought didn’t last long, for he knew he wouldn’t be able to relax until he had been sure that a window and the wind had been the source of his panic.
The bedroom’s door was left ajar, a gap small enough to let out the bright light of those lightning that seemed not to have understood that the party was officially over for them. Nick opened the door and what he saw inside the room left him utterly baffled: Brian’s figure was sitting on the edge of the bed, so immobile and so still while his eyes were looking straight at the wall in front of him.
How in the hell did he manage to be there?
That was the first question that popped inside Nick’s head while he still stood outside the room, wondering if he should just go inside and apologize to Brian with a hug or if he should first reckon him and see what would happen. Because, to be honest, the sight of Brian inside the bedroom hadn’t been a relief or managed to erase completely that bad feeling that was still keeping his gut hostage and prisoner within its web. Rather, it had been worsened because that man in front of him had almost nothing to do with the man Nick knew as if he was a second part of himself: the muscles were taut, the body so still and immobile for someone that was able to stand still only when he was on a plane. And that only because he was always half-asleep. It was the face, though, that managed to shock and blocked Nick where he was still standing: the jaw line clenched so tight that it almost hurt just watching it; lips curved in a small line that didn’t give rise to any expression or emotion. A mask that Nick had seen rarely on that face. Even Brian’s eye didn’t show any emotion: not that light that had always made the blue so much brighter every time Brian had been happy or when they were together; neither that dull grey that told about a rage storm that was raising a fight inside him. Pale, motionless and lifeless blue was what Nick’s eyes met, a shade that got along coherently with that strange area that was surrounding Brian.
And that was what most scared Nick.
“Bri?”
The boy didn’t even seem that he had been called and just kept looking straight in front of him. So Nick got closer and kneeled in front of Brian. But even there Brian didn’t seem to notice Nick’s presence.
“Brian?”
Nick called him a second time, softer and almost a whisper, placing the back of his hand against Brian’s cheek. That contact managed to get through Brian: he opened and closed his eyes twice before they managed to focus on who was standing and kneeling in front of him.
“Nicky. – Brian murmured, letting that hand caressing his face. – I’ve finally found you.” He added, placing his own hand upon Nick’s, the corner of his lips curved in that special smile that belonged only to Nick.
Another flame of confusion matched that omnipresent feeling that kept Nick between its claws. Brian was being strange, too much strange but he couldn’t understand what was wrong in him.
“Found?”
“Yes. I was looking for you.” Brian replied, without stopping smiling at Nick for even one second. That was the only thing that Brian knew, the only thing that he could recall. He had to find Nick, though he couldn’t explain why it was so damn important.
“Looking for? I had been here, you know. You are the one that had gone out with this... – Nick stopped abruptly as another string was being added to that web wrapped around him. Brian’s clothes were completely dry. Even his hair didn’t seem to have been wet. How was that possible? Even if the storm was slowing down, a thin rain was still falling down so it wasn’t possible for Brian to be completely dry. – Why aren’t you wet?”
Something appeared on Brian’s face, a shadow that was saying how he didn’t even know how to start replying to that question. Brian hadn’t noticed. Brian hadn’t noticed that he was wearing dry clothes, or that his hair weren’t wet and he wasn’t feeling cold.
“I don’t know.”
An uncomfortable silence fell among them, both of them with nothing more to say to keep the conversation going. Nick couldn’t find that clue that would allow him to solve the mystery sitting in front of him and resembling Brian. At the same time Brian kept looking at Nick, knowing and sure that there was something that he needed to say, something so damn important but that he couldn’t even remember. His mind was clouded, numbed, because the sun had started to shine only the moment when Nick had appeared at the door: he had found him, that was what his heart kept telling him.
“Brian, are you feeling okay?” Nick asked, shifting his hand on Brian’s forehead so he could check for fever. Pale as Brian was, being sick was the only solution Nick’s brain could come up with but the skin was cold. It wasn’t a relief, it didn’t push the worry away but it actually managed to worsen it since Brian had never been that physically cold.
“Yes. Now I’m good. – Brian replied and, as if that question had been the switch on, he could finally remember why finding Nick was so important. – I know now. The reason why I had been looking for you.”
“Why?”
“To tell you that I love you.”
“I know, Brian. I know. – It was Nick’s turn to reply, it was Nick’s turn to find the right sequence of words in order to wipe away any doubts that Brian might still had. – I’ve never doubted your love for me. How could I? – Nick bite down on his lips while he shifted the weight on the other leg. – You were just trying to protect me.”
Shreds of their previous conversation started to come back to life: what happened at the story, the look and that hurt and angry expression of Nick’s face as he accused him to be ashamed of their relationship. That was the reason why he had to come back. Now Brian remembered, though he couldn’t explain even to himself how he managed to get there. It didn’t matter or, better saying, he couldn’t lose any more precious minutes, seconds, in trying to find a logic explanation. There was nothing logic and, even if he could had talked to Nick, surely he could have found some kind of explanation but Brian couldn’t tell him. He couldn’t look into Nick’s eyes and tell him that, somewhere in that city, his own body was slowly dying: Brian could feel it starting to shut down, he could feel cold and blood getting the better hand and battling to be the final and definitive blown.
And that was why Brian had to come back.
He had to come back to tell Nick every little thing that he had never said, all of those words that usually stayed hidden because Brian had always been hesitant and uncertain to let them free, as if he had been afraid of scaring and make Nick run away for the intensity of his love for him. But now that Brian hadn’t so much time left, Brian realized that it could his last chance to say them.
That was the reason why he had to come back. That was how he preferred to spend his last hours. He preferred dying knowing that he didn’t have any regret, knowing that he had protected Nick from that nightmare instead than letting him searching his body and leaving him with images full of blood and unanswered prayers. No, Brian didn’t want Nick to remember him like that, lifeless and without the chance to tell him all the things he had kept hidden for so long.
Brian came closer to Nick, lowering his face to caress the tip of the nose; then, the caress moved on the lips where, with small touches, they tried to underline those words that his voice had first said.
“You still doubt it. I know you do, I can still see it in your eyes. You live with the constant fear that I can actually leave you and that I might realized that there can be someone better and more perfect than you. But you’re so wrong. I want you to know that it doesn’t. There isn’t and there won’t ever be someone better than you. I won’t ever leave you. Not on purpose, at least.”
Something in those words alerted Nick. By instinct those words made sense. But that last sentence left a bitter taste in Nick’s mouth. It was as if Brian was defending himself, as if he was building a perfect defense that he could then use to explain and justify his behavior. Did Brian really want to leave him? Was that what Brian was trying to tell him?
“Frick, what the hell is going on?” Nick asked, using that Nick that had been giving them years before and that most explain their complex relationship.
Brian let his hand drop, intertwining their fingers together and getting up.
“Let’s go.” Brian just said, forcing Nick to get up with.
“Where?”
“I want to take you somewhere. – Brian replied. – Do you trust me?”
“You know I’ll always trust you. But shouldn’t we be discussing our fight?”
“There is nothing more to say. Unless you’re still convinced that I’m ashamed of you or that I don’t love you enough. – Brian came closer to Nick, only a few inches of distance between them. –I’ve already forgiven you. Let’s not waste precious time with these stupid and useless discussions.”
“They aren’t stupid.”
Brian didn’t snort as he always did. He just kept observing Nick with that emotionless look, too abnormal and too cold for someone like Brian. It didn’t belong on Brian’s face.
“Okay. – Brian sighed. – What do you want to talk about?”
“Maybe I want to talk about what the freaking hell is going on with you.”
“I don’t... – A sigh. A breath that hid uncertainty. – I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Damn, Brian! Yes, you do! – Nick screamed in a high – pitched tone. – You appear from nowhere, with no recollection about where you have been. You start rambling things on how you had to find me. And now you want to go out without even discussing the elephant in the room. That’s not you. It’s like... It’s like you are not my Brian.”
Brian recognized fear and worry shining in Nick’s eyes. But he couldn’t tell him the truth, for he would only increased those clouds and made his task even more difficult. A smile, a pale shadow of the one that usually shone on his face, was the perfect move to ring around that matter.
“I’ve already told you, Nick, there is nothing to say. I know where your words were coming from, you were disappointed and angry with. I get it. And that’s why you should come with me. You said... – Brian’s voice faltered, becoming small and so emptied of his usual confidence. - … you said that you trust me.”
It was so unsettling to hear and see Brian so insecure. And, in the end, that was what made Nick going back on his decision and following Brian. It had always been that way, after all. Since the beginning, since that first moment they had decided to become best friends in the whole universe, Nick had religiously followed Brian wherever je lead and whatever he said or did. Brian was his star, his sun and, even if he had never said one word to him, Nick had long decided to follow the oldest if he would have died before him.
Because that was how it was supposed and would always be.
Together.
Forever.
*********;
“A basketball court?”
That was the place where Brian had so much wanted to take him and, as much as he tried, he couldn’t understand the reason lying underneath it. It was a simple basketball court, inside the park and now completely left abandoned because of the bad weather. It was nothing special, there wasn’t anything that could give Nick a clue about the reason why they were there.
That situation had turned out to be more weird and stranger. That bad feeling, still sitting in the pit of his stomach, didn’t dim but it grew stronger and bigger with every step they had left behind their backs. It had been a silent walk and, under different circumstances, Nick wouldn’t had found something weird about it because it was something that happened regularly and it was one of the things he loved more about his relationship with Brian: that silent and natural being together that could be tasted even if no one would talk or say something, well aware of the presence of the other one but without the constant and desperate need to say something just to break the silence.
How many times did they walk together lost in their own thoughts?
But that time... no, that time was different, though Nick couldn’t place his finger about what was really the turning point of the situation. They hadn’t talk during their walk but, differently from the other times, they didn’t even share a glance or those small gestures that spoke more than the words. Brian hadn’t move any muscles, aside for the necessary to walk, and Nick had found himself being not able to formulate any words because he knew that Brian would had never answered all those questions that kept running inside Nick’s mind.
That time Nick had sensed the distance as if it was a knife that was slowly dipping its sharp tip inside his heart, like it wanted to search the perfect spot to draw the highest amount of blood. Nick trusted Brian. Nick believed when Brian said that he loved and had forgiven him those didn’t do nothing to dissipate that bad feeling that he was still harboring inside him. Something wasn’t right, everything about Brian was so strange and he still hadn’t found a clue to start sorting out that mystery.
And now Brian had taken him in a basketball court. Why?
Brian turned slightly his face towards Nick. A smile, the only sign of emotion, appeared on those lips as soon as his eyes gazed on his partner’s features; Brian’s hand reached out and took Nick’s, intertwining their fingers together- Brian knew that Nick was understanding nothing about what was going on and, in the end, that had been always his goal: keeping him away from the painful truth, keeping him away from everything that could possibly be a danger and a threat for Nick. Because that had always been Brian’s mission: defending and protecting Nick from everything. Including him.
“This is where I realized that I loved you. – Brian replied, turning his eyes towards the court. – Of course not this particular one, since back in the day we didn’t even know that this town existed.”
It was Nick’s turn to smile, tightening up his grip around Brian’s fingers. The cold was still there between them, like a stranger company, but for only just a few second a warmth wind had wrapped itself around him, stealing away a veil of worry.
“A basketball court?”
“We were so much younger. – Brian replied with a sigh, his eyes shining with a light of fondness and memory. – You, especially. You were so much younger than me. I felt like I was a monster, I thought that I was the worst of the friend because I was so convinced to be using you, somehow. I would always bring you somewhere to play because I was so sure that we would end up being the two of us, alone. And I would end up being the only one who could watch you and have all of your attention. You were mine, if only metaphorically speaking. I could watch you, I could fake to push you so that I could touch you... I kept telling myself that it had to end it, I kept telling myself that I was acting like a pedophile but I couldn’t say no to you. I couldn’t give up being with you. You were the only who made me feel good, the one who could made me smile even when I was so close to give up and go back in Kentucky. And I don’t remember exactly when it happened. One day I just saw you laughing and I knew. I knew that I loved you.”
“Can I tell you a secret?” Nick whispered with an amused and malicious tone in his voice.
“Yep.”
“I loved those matches because I could just feast my eyes on you without having to justify or defending me with someone else. – Nick whispered, lowering until he was so close that he could brush the tip of the ear with his lips. - Though you had never let me win one game.”
The real Brian, Nick’s Brian, would have laughed at that last sentence. He would have lowered his face, red from embarrassment and then, even before Nick could even take nothing about it, he would have started tickling him. Not that Brian standing by his side, the one that only managed to smile a little.
“The world never lets you win so easily. And where is the good in a victory obtained only because someone else had pitied or felt compassion towards you? Sport has always been a perfect metaphor for life, for this world: sometimes the winner isn’t the strongest but the one who lowers his head and work hard, sacrifice you, so that his team can win. Since that first day, Nick, I knew that we were the best and perfect team, even if we were only wearing the jackets of friendship. Among us, you are the star. And it’s my job to make you shine and protect you from the darkness.”
Nick sighed, passing a hand through his hair. He felt a small pinch starting to burn inside his eyes and he had to bite down on his lip to stop the tears to run down so easily. Intertwined in those words, in words that only Brian could build with such mastery and ability, there were all the love that had always beating inside his heart. Never before had Nick felt it so throbbing, never he had felt those flames stroke his skin, aside for those moments when only their bodies spoke with their special and unique magic language. Nick had always considered Brian as his sun but never, never, he had dared to think to be the same for him. Never he had thought to be so damn important that it was worth losing everything, even the simply being happy and proud of their love, just so to protect him from the hate and hatred.
Oh, that bad feeling hadn’t left his nest. Oh, no, it didn’t disappear just because Nick had understood the reason why they were in that place. That bad feeling became bigger, it changed in sharp claws that were trying to climb back and get to the heart, the centre of the soul and his own being.
“Frick, do you really think that I could give a damn about shining if then I had to hide who is the one that makes me so special? You want to protect me? Well, I want to protect you too.”
For a moment Brian didn’t say anything. In that moment, in that precise moment between space and time, saying goodbye to Nick didn’t seemed like protecting him. From what was he really protecting him from? From what was he trying to shield him if he still had to go away, he still had to leave Nick among waves of pain that would try to make him part of their family?
There was no more time left. Strange was to be able to feel his own body starting to shut down, as if the was a big switchboard that someone, maybe his mind or what else, had started to turn off the switches because there was no more energy for both organs and muscles to work. There was so little time left and, yes, maybe leading Nick to where his body was supposed to be wasn’t really a good idea. What good would come out from it? He was still going to die, regardless if Nick was or wasn’t there with him. And with so little time left, all that Brian wanted was to spend that precious time together with Nick, he wanted to remember those moments when Nick was looking at him so happy and so full of love, instead than facing eyes obscured with desperation and agony for what it was happening.
There was so little time left and, yet, Brian found that he couldn’t really say goodbye. He didn’t want to. He didn’t want for everything to be over, for his life to be ended like that. There were still so many things that Brian wanted to do; so many opportunities that were waiting to be caught, dreams that he had caressed and his life and future with Nick that was just now starting to be real. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t really fair. Time kept clocking away and there was a faint flame hope still burning. It was up to Brian to decide. It was up to Brian to decide if he should save himself or Nick.
Brian placed his hand upon Nick’s cheek, a smile that wanted to reflect the one that was brightening his lover’s face.
“I love you.”
It should had been that simple, a small promise that had became reality as time passed by. In that moment, though, that “I love you” tasted as a bitter and sour goodbye. And it didn’t made sense, Nick thought. It didn’t make sense for Brian to bring him there, to tell him all of those words, only then to say goodbye and what? Break up with him? No, it didn’t make sense.
Brian didn’t let Nick say anything. While kept caressing the cheek, Brian stood on his tiptoes and placed his lips upon Nick’s, at first small touches that only wanted to ask, gently, to be trusted and be accepted. And Nick, Nick didn’t let Brian wait. He would never make him wait even if what Nick really wanted was to ask questions and explanation about that entire situation. But how he could deny Brian when he offered himself like that?
Nick was about to place his arm around Brian’s waist when he noticed, in the corner of his eyes, some people walking by and looking at him strangely. The look wasn’t of shock, or of disgust because two men were hugging so intimately and so close to kiss. They were simply astonished. Dazed. As if he and Brian were the crazy ones, two aliens that had to be studied and observed from far.
No, not even the both of them. Only Nick. Because those people were only looking at Nick.
Brian didn’t seem to notice anything, his lips too busy stealing away the attention from the real world around them. But it was impossible not to listen to that voice that, along with that bad feeling, was trying to eat away every ounce of calm and tranquility he had. So Nick kept looking around, focusing his gaze on those strangers who kept looking at him with an expression that had become shocked and, sometimes, it had the features of pity and compassion. And yet, they were looking only at him, as if Brian didn’t even exist.
“Bri... Bri! – Nick stepped away unwillingly from Brian, still having his hands placed on his arms. – Why do these people keep looking at me? Why are they only looking at me?”
Brian’s answer came as a cold shower, delivered with that emotionless and ice expression that had given birth to horrible monster of bad sensation growing and winning inside Nick.
“Well, you would do the same if you would see someone talking to himself, right?”
There was no time left now. His time was up and Brian had made his decision in the very moment when Nick had asked him that question.
“What the... Brian! I’m freaking talking to you!” Nick said in a whisper, as if he didn’t want to give air and breathe to that voice that was trying to go out and scream from his soul.
“Yes. You are talking to me. – Brian replied, without even a small smile. Only that cold hand, placed on Nick’s cheek. – But you are the only one who can see me.”
*********;
Rain was pouring down again. Small drops, so tiny that they could be felt only when they would hit something, sliding then away and painting itself with red. Rain was coming down again and a part of Brian, that part still awake and alive, was fighting with every ounce of energy and strength not to be caught inside the web of darkness.
It was strange. Merely a few seconds – or were they minutes? – Before, Brian hadn’t been afraid of dying. Maybe it had been because pain had taken the stage and his mind hadn’t been able to comprehend that tiny and so important detail. But now that everything had been numbed, now that pain was only a memory and everything felt cold, Brian could only feel those small raindrops melting away once they had touched his face.
He didn’t want to go.
He wanted Nick, at least, there with him
Even if he wanted to protect him, even if he didn’t want Nick to see him in those conditions, all that Brian desired was to have Nick there with him.
He didn’t want to die.
He didn’t want to be left alone.
He had never wanted to be alone. It made him remember a time of his life that he had always acted like it didn’t really happened. He never talked about, he always glazed over and said how lucky he had been but he had never talked about how hard those months spent in hospital had been, the only kid of his ages prisoner in a small room while all of his friends were playing soccer or were learning new things. They would come to visit him, once the worst had been over, but it had never been normal, all of them so weary and afraid to touch him. So he was left being alone and that was where he started to hate the loneliness and always managed to be around someone: silence was too suffocating; silence brought to light all those bad thoughts that had been hidden in the most remote and obscure corners of his mind. Nick had been his saving grace, a constant and loud presence in his life even when he hadn’t been there with him physically: messages and phone calls seemed to arrive randomly, without a proper request, as if Nick would sense when loneliness was starting to creeping up without being noticed.
Nick could beat it again. Nick could beat that loneliness once again. Maybe he couldn’t beat death, maybe he would never be able to force Brian to stay but he could, and he would, erase that cold feeling from those last instants.
And he was tired.
Brian was tired because, as Nick was used to say, he never stopped going and doing things even when the level of energy was so damn low that it was only fierce will that kept him standing and going. Brian could only rest when Nick, doing his best impression of puppy eyes, would make him succumb and lie down on the couch to watch all the football matches they had lost during the months of touring. Brian was tired and so utterly cold and sleeping seemed so much charming and attractive that it was harder and harder to remember why sleeping was so a bad idea.
“You need to stay awake, Frick.”
Nick’s voice was a whisper brought by the wind, a drop of rain that seemed to wake every memory.
Brian couldn’t fall asleep. Not until he had seen Nick for the last time. Not until he had been able to apologize and told him that he would love him from that small cloud they would give him in heaven. If he would be allowed to be sent there.
Brian didn’t even feel the cold anymore. Nor cold nor pain. Nothing. Only the awareness that soon everything would be over; the curtain would closed down while he was all alone, rain and tears mixing together before there was only a river that was becoming redder and redder.
Nicky...
Even if Nick was still angry with him. Even if he was still convinced that Brian was ashamed of them and that Nick was and would always be his dirty secret. How could he think so little of him? And that still hurt, though it was nothing compared to the desperation that those words would be the last Nick would hear from him. That mere fact was going to destroy Nick, Brian was sure. That and the fact that Brian had left himself go without even putting up a fight.
And Brian couldn’t let it happen.
Nicky...
With his last forces, Brian reached his hand toward the pocket of his jeans. Once, twice, his fingers slipped without accomplished their task to search and get his cell phone. Had he take it up, at least? Brian couldn’t remember, there was still that deep mist that clouded all of his thoughts and memories. More agitated Brian tried to summon his other hand to search for that small object but the more he tried the more his attempts fell against the cement.
No, no, Nicky...
If he couldn’t find his phone, how could he call and warn Nick? And if he couldn’t call Nick...
He had been defeated. He had lost and now death was going to claim what it had won. Those goof and poor attempts had sucked away any traces left of oxygen and breath. There was nothing left inside Brian, only desperation and it took away the last veil or warmth his body was still clutching on. Now there was only a body prisoner of cold and numbness. In a last shred of lucidity, in a last attempt not to succumb into the darkness, Brian desired and wished for the pain to be back because hurting would meant that there was still a small and frail flame of hope. But his prayer was left unanswered as the numbness grew stronger and bigger. With every rain drop that fell down. With every shadow that came closer and closer.
Then. Then darkness decided that it was time to wrap its blanket around that clod and shivering body, shelter him like a loving father would had done but with the malicious grin of a kidnaper sure that no one was going to see him as he took away that soul.
Frack.
That word, that name, was Brian’s last prayer. The last syllabi, rolled around the hope that somehow it might would find Nick wherever he was.
Then the curtain fell down, leaving only silence and darkness.
