“Fuck this,” he said,” Fuck it all. Why did she have to go?” he questioned,” We were just fine!” he exclaimed. He was mad and angry. All of his emotions were starting to unravel. He couldn’t come to terms with it. He took a deep breath and then took the papers out of the trash. When he was about to put them onto the desk his phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Hey there Nicky-roo whatcha up too?”
“Not much D, just trying to find a nanny”
“I understand that one. It took Leigh and I a while to find the right nanny. I could see if mine knows anyone who is available and qualified”
“Sure D. I’d appreciate it. I don’t know the first thing about hiring a nanny, and I sure as hell don’t think I could rely on my mother to do it for me”
“Anyway, I was calling to see if you wanted to go out to lunch or something and talk”
“Sure mom is still here for a few days or so.”
“We will be going to the BreadBar off of Santa Monica Blvd if you just want to meet me there”
“Sounds good D, I will see you in 10” Nick hung up the phone. He grabbed his wallet and keys and walked down the stairs,” Hey ma I will be back in a couple of hours. Howie wants to have lunch,”
“Don’t be too long Nick. I have to leave in a few days and you still don’t have a nanny”
“Howie may have a nanny for me so it’s practically been taken care of for me. See you soon.”
………….
Nick arrived at the bistro before Howie. He seated himself. A waitress came over to him.
“Oh my god you are Nick Carter!” she exclaimed.
“That’s me”
“Can I have your autograph?”
“Sure” Nick flashed a smile. The waitress took out a piece of paper and a pen and handed it to Nick. He signed it and handed it back to her.
“Thanks! I am so sorry to hear about your wife. All of us fans adored her.” Nick nodded,” I am sorry I shouldn’t have said anything.” Nick sighed.
“It’s ok. I am still having a hard time with it myself.”
“Can I get you anything?”
“Just water for now Howie should be walking in here any minute”
“I will be right back” As the waitress walked off Howie came into the bistro and Nick waved his arms to get his attention. Howie saw Nick and sat down across from him.
“Sorry I was late,” he said taking off his coat,” Had to help put the kids down for a nap”
“No problem D. I haven’t been sitting here long.” The waitress came back with two waters. She sat them on the table,” Thanks”
“Are you guys ready to order?”
“Give us a few minutes and I will call you over if that’s ok?” Nick asked.
“Sure thing” the waitress walked off. Howie and Nick started looking at the menu.
“So is everything going ok at the house?” Howie asked.
“Yeah everything is just fine,” he responded.” Why are you asking?’
“The guys and I were just curious. We haven’t heard from you in a few weeks. We just wanted to make sure everything was ok.”
“Everything is fine. I have everything under control. He knew in reality he didn’t. He was falling apart at home and didn’t know how to pick himself back up. Howie brought out his IPhone and brought up a picture from TMZ.
“This doesn’t look like everything is fine Nick,” he showed Nick the picture.
“It was just one night,” Nick shrugged. Howie showed him another,” Ok so there were multiple nights.”
“Nick we aren’t trying to tell you how to live your life. We know you miss Rayna but you have to stay strong for the kids. Going out like this all the time isn’t going to bring her back.” Howie said.
“You think I don’t know that D? It’s hard. I have tried everything I can think of to try and get over what has happened.”
“Partying your life away won’t solve anything either.” Howie advised,” The grieving process isn’t going to get any better with you out all the time. In fact it might make it worse.” Nick had heard enough of Howie’s “talk” he just wanted to eat.
“Can we just eat please?”
“If you need someone to talk to I am here Nick. We will always be around.”
Nick waved the waitress and she ordered their food. He couldn’t believe Howie was preaching. It almost sounded like Kevin’s old talks. He knew it was going to be hard for him to get over Rayna. It is never easy to get over a loved one. He just didn’t want to hear about it. He knew he didn’t have anything to worry about, and no one should be worried or should they?
