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A/N- I don't do the notes much anymore but I have noticed all the reviews I've been getting and I wanted to say thank you! They really do motivate me to update faster...so thankies mucho! Hehe read on and enjoy!



“Blind Within The Shadows”


“Could you make it on your own? If I could, then I would…I’ll go wherever you will go. Way up high, or down low, I’ll go wherever you will go. And maybe, I’ll find out, a way to make it back someday. To watch you, to guide you, through the darkest of your days…If a greater wave shall fall, and fall upon us all, well I hope there’s someone out there, who can, bring me back to you.” - The Calling, “Wherever You Will Go”


Chapter 6: Everybody Needs Something


Howie walks into the McLean home, after knocking several times with no answer. AJ, he knew, is out with his newest girlfriend of the week, but he had figured him and Nick could hang out. Denise doesn’t get home from work for a couple more hours anyway. He strolls through the oddly silent house with a frown. Something is off. Something he can’t put his finger on is wrong. Perhaps it’s the fact even when Nick is studying alone; Nirvana is usually playing in his room. Or the fact the door hadn’t been locked. Usually the blonde locks it up from a slight irrational fear of invaders that no one’s ever been able to explain. He heads towards Nick’s room first, and pauses when the hallway seems foggy, almost Smokey, yet not. It was more as if there was a deep fog in the house that thickens as he gets closer to his friend’s bedroom. His coffee eyes widen with horror at the flame that’s eaten away most of the door. There, on the floor, he sees Nick lying there without a hint of what is going on about him. The strange fog is so thick one can barely see much else except him, where for some reason it looked like a bubble of air surrounded him because the fog would not touch him. Howie takes a breath, and runs in, dodging the flames.

“NICK!” He yells, shaking him. “Wake up dammit!” He shakes him roughly in any attempt to wake him up but the young teen doesn’t stir. Howie sighs, picks him up, and carries him hurriedly out the door without a second thought and sets him outside on the grass. He then grabs the hose and rushes inside, spraying the water, and the instant one drop touches it, all the flames vanish along with the fog. He doesn’t notice however, because he sprayed all of it a good portion of it at the same time. Once the danger is gone, he sighs, shaking his head, eyeing the area. Not much is damaged except the door and the wall around it. Denise is going to get furious, he knows. Howie goes back out to check on Nick. He sees him coughing as he wakes up from his slumber, his eyes full of confusion.

“Howie? What’s going on? Why am I out here man?”

He blinks in surprise. “I was about to ask you that, are you aight?”

He runs a hand through his floppy tousled locks. “Of course I am, and how would I know? I don’t remember anything.”

Howie watches Nick and sees the lie in his eyes. His friend is lying; he doesn’t remember something, if only just a little. He wants to know what happened, and why the strange happenings always center on his young friend. He sits beside him.

“As long as you’re ok.”

“Yep,” he gives him his winning trademark smile. Mentally Nick sighs, he remembers. But it’s not what happened here that is in his memory. That’s why he’s staying silent. He remembers something he did not do. Something he knows just happened now. Running away with just a duffel bag full of clothing, and running with two people he had never met. One with dark hair and one with strawberry gold hair. Being called a name that’s not his, even though he can’t remember the name it was now. Was it a dream? He looks at his hands which are covered lightly with a navy blue ash. He wipes them quickly on the grass so Howie doesn’t see and then smiles and acts as if all is fine, despite how it’s not. Just what is happening to him? All he needs is answers, why is that too much to ask for?


********


Jessica sits in the back of Brian’s jeep next to Brian as Kevin drove up front. He had sat back there with her seeing she needed the comfort, even though she will never in her life admit it. Both cousins were surprised that she actually asked them to take her to Huntington Beach instead of trying to hitch a ride there. The two had told their own parents that they were going for a camping trip to get Jessica for a much needed outing. Both the Richardsons and the Littrells know that she comes from a home empty of love so they understand their sons’ need to fill that for their friend. The fact both of them have never betrayed their trust helped as well. Jessica hasn’t told them why she needed to get there, or that her adoptive parents don’t have any idea she left, yet they trust her. In fact she hasn’t even told them what happened during PE and when she had been taken home either. Still, Brian’s inquisitive nature is beginning to get the best of him while Kevin’s more relaxed demeanor is letting him wait until she tells them on her own. They have been driving for about an hour now and traffic is terrible as usual for the early evening. Jessica idly wonders what Mike’s reaction will be when he sees she’s gone. She doubts either of them would even care.

“Are you ok?” Brian asks her, his kind sky blue eyes staring into her stormy ocean ones.

She nods, blowing a stray blond strand away from her face. “Don’t worry Bri, I’m alright.”

“You don’t sound it.”

“I am though.”

“Jessie-”

“I’m serious, I’m cool.”

“Why are we going to Huntington Beach? Why do you need to go so badly?”

“Jesus fucking Christ Brian I just have to. Back the fuck off.” She snaps, giving him a look and turning away from him.

“I’m just trying to look out for you, you know…it‘s just easier to do when I know what‘s up.”

“I’m doing just fine doing that for my damn self.”

Kevin glances back as he drives down the freeway with a concerned look. “Hey, let her be man.”

She gives Kevin a grateful look and doesn’t look at Brian as she mutters “You wouldn’t believe this shit anyway…”

Brian gently turns her towards him, his eyes full of concern and compassion for his closest friend. “Try me.”

She sighs, she can never say no to his eyes. Never could, never will. She sighs again and glances over at Kevin. “Pull over to the side.”

Kevin frowns. “You okay Jess?”

“Yeah, I’m good, just can you pull over? I do gotta tell ya, but you need your full attention for this shit.” She tugs on her hair a little, unsure how to explain the building urgency to find her lost twin. Jessica watches as the older man she’s always had a slight crush on pulls over, gets out and climbs into the backseat as well, sitting on the other side of her. They both observe her, waiting her to explain just what’s going on. She takes a breath and looks away. Ready to tell her tale.


********


As Jessica is preparing to tell her friends, and Nick is trying to orient himself again, the two men who had met up before are now yelling with frantic, uncontrolled, rage over the phone…

“It has vanished!!!”

“You were not careful!”

“It went to find the other”

“It cannot not join”

“I fucking know that!”

“You must go retrieve It then.”

“I have no clue where the other is. I need to get it!”

“The other is where It started.”

“I’ll find the damn thing!”

“Stop at nothing.”

“Anything that helps It or stands in my way, has already signed its own death certificate. I’ll do more horrific things than we did to the former experiments. It shall not fucking join!” Then the one yelling slams the phone on the receiver, letting the other man hear nothing but a dial tone.


*******


Jessica takes a breath again, and looks at her friends, as suddenly a chill runs down her spine. Unnoticed by the three teens, rain begins to fall harshly upon the ground. “I have no damn clue if I’ll sound sane to you, but fuck I hate holding this shit in. And I don’t trust anyone else, I have no one fucking else. You both know I’ve never thought I was normal. I’m not. I don’t know why I’m not either. My real mother would know, but I’ve never met either of my real parents. I never thought I knew any of my real family…”

“Well you were adopted at five, and never lived with your parents, and were an only child, why would you?” Brian asks, wondering where this is going.

“That’s the thing…I wasn’t an only child. You guys didn’t know me when I first lived with Mike and Rachael. I used to wail for someone. I used to scream to go back, I was couldn’t be controlled and I cried till my eyes went dry and I lost my voice for a short time. I was that upset. It didn’t stop until I was filled with the idea I had been forgotten so I had to forget my life at the orphanage too. To forget the sisters who took care of me. To forget the other orphans who were almost like siblings….to forget my twin brother…Nick.”

Kevin’s dazzlingly emerald eyes widen with shock. “Nick? That’s the name you wake up saying in your dreams lately….It doesn’t make sense though.” His eyes narrow slightly, “if you had a twin, wouldn’t he have been adopted with you?”

She sighs shaking her head. “No, I remember that day now…for fuck knows why I‘m getting the stuff I blocked out back….he said he couldn’t. I screamed for Nick, and Mike kept telling me Nick didn’t need me anymore. That he forgot me. I was only five/six you know? So I blocked him out…made myself forget, and I became well hell not even content but adjusted anyway. Living with The Karonas was all I remembered knowing.” She reaches into her duffel bag and pulls out the worn photo. “I found this earlier today after Mike and I got into it.”

“About what?” Brian asks, rubbing her arm a little and being careful to keep his emotions for her in check. He’s always had a hidden crush on her but kept it quiet knowing she had a thing for Kevin.

“What happened at school, I passed out during tae bo cause I relaxed too soon.” Jessica is careful not to make any mention of the glow Mike had told her had happened. It was all a blur to her anyway, and though a memory is nagging at her to take note of what Mike said, she dismissed it. It probably isn‘t true. “See I know those pass out spells ain’t normal. There’s a good example. Anyways. So I went up to the attic, broke the lock on the door, and then broke the lock on the trunk.” She pulls out the blanket she had brought as well. “I found this, my old blankie,” She says with a small smile, “Covering the picture up. The few things I had brought with me when I got adopted.”

Kevin nods in understanding, “Now you feel guilty for forgetting him.”

The sandy red haired teen stares at the photograph. “You two look so much alike, it’s uncanny”

Jessica nods. “I want to find the person who actually loved me. My only family. It’s even beyond that. I just have this sense I have to find him and fast. I want to know what happened to him. We were both at the Sparkling Waters adoption agency in Huntington Beach, so I can find out what happened. Hell he might still be there for all I know. Maybe he knows why I’m not normal…why I’m such a fucking freak. I miss him, when we were little, he was my other half, and I hate how most of my few memories of him are so damn vague.”

“I’ll help.” Kevin replies with a hug, and Jessica’s eyes light up as she hugs him back. She has such strong feelings for him. “We may not find him here but maybe they can give you a clue. But Mike’s going to kill you when you go back.”

“If I go back.”

“We’ll discuss that later Jess,” he says with a fatherly type tone, knowing she’s not up for discussing the inevitable taking responsibility for her rash running off.

“Yeah, and we can focus on helping you first.” Brian smiles a little at her as he hugs her as well, ignoring how her eyes don‘t light up the same way when he does it. He understands, she needs a family, and although they were a surrogate one, she needs a real one as well. This Nick might be it for her. They can at least find out where he is now for her, then be back in Los Angeles before anyone realizes besides Mike that they aren’t camping like they claimed. He knows it’s a long shot to find him, but they can try at least, what could happen?