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“Blind Within The Shadows”


“A place where no one waits to die before they go into the light…in just a blind eye sight. I follow nothing but the corpus of my instinct, no matter where it leads I know it’ll take me to the brink. And leave me there all by myself and all alone with my dreams. Can you hear my screams? I believe in the sanctity of dreams, no more running from these masqueraders. I believe the society will never dream like me…never dream like me. Society will never dream like me, dream like me…I believe in the sanctity of dreams.” - Live, “Sanctity of Dreams”


Chapter Seven: Dream Like Me


Nick sits in his room, the only evidence of what happened earlier being the half ashen door, and the black marks around it. Howie had told him he had found him on the floor while a blue flame was getting bigger and bigger. Nick frowns, he doesn’t remember any of it. Why did he have the memory or the thought of something that obviously didn’t happen? It feels to him like it did. Nothing is making sense. Has anything in his life ever made sense? No, he realizes, not since he had been adopted. He can’t even remember the time he was at the orphanage. Sure he had been young but he had been six, almost seven when he was adopted. He should at least have a few memories, even if they were vague, but he had none really. All he had were a few images from the past, and feelings. Of acceptance and happiness. Not that he’s not happy here, here he has a family, and love, he just wants answers is all. He picks up his sketch pad off of the floor and blinks at what he drew. A young girl, the same girl he drew a few days before out on the hammock. In the picture she seems to be sneaking into an attic and is gazing at something in her hands. The drawing is so detailed, to a point not even Nick goes to normally. It looks almost real, with the exception of the picture in the girl’s hands, which is too blurry and unclear to see what’s in the frame. He sets it down and rubs his eyes. He’s unusually tired. He doesn’t get much sleep, unbeknownst to anyone. All he needs is sleep perhaps six hours, three nights a week and he’s fine. He stretches as he goes to lay down on his bed. Maybe everything that happened today is a sign that he truly needs to rest. He yawns and closes his eyes, wondering for only a moment why he drew the same girl twice.


*************


Jessica leans again the window of the jeep with a sigh as Kevin tries to navigate it through the heavy traffic along the freeway. She yawns; not because she was tired, for she rarely needs sleep; but because she is emotionally drained. Too much is happening at once. Everything she knows isn’t real anymore. One day she’s hanging out with her friends and the next she passes out at school, is told she glowed, discovered the twin she forgotten, and knew everything Mike told her was a lie. Now here she is running for answers in a city she hasn’t been to since she was just a little girl. She glances down where Brian is resting against her shoulder, wearing a sweet smile of contentment. She can’t help but smile herself. She’s lucky to have a friend like him, and a friend like Kevin. Her eyes travel to the raven haired eighteen year old, who’s deep charismatic voice sings along to an old Boys II Men song as he pays attention to the cars around him. She watches out the window and sees a blue jay fly above them, which strikes her as a little odd because of all the honking cars but she shrugs it off. Her eyes slowly close and she lets herself drift off to a sleep she knows she doesn’t need. Her mind subconsciously calls out for her twin who she knows must be out there somewhere, if she only knew where…


***********


Jessica opens her eyes and gazes around curiously. Instinctively she knows she’s still asleep and this is a dream. Yet, it feels like more than that. It feels real, but in a way still not the reality she has come to accept. Everything is still far to hazy for her to be awake the way she has known all her life. Her ocean eyes gaze around for any type of clue or answer as to where she is and what exactly is happening now. Like everything else in her life isn’t strange enough? Does she really need this. She sighs and wanders around. Her surroundings are a large field type clearing and she can see the hint of woods behind her. The ground is covered, almost consumed by a light gray mist, cool to walk through and touch. Above her is the velvet night sky, clearer and more dazzling than she’s ever seen it before, the stars dazzling like diamonds above her. The only light is the glow of the pale yellow moon which seems larger than ever in her life, and give the area a sort of comforting gentle illumination. A soft wind blows through, ruffling her honeysuckle locks around her face. A figure cast in the shadows begins to approach her and for a few moments she can’t make out any of his features until he is only a foot away from her. Then it takes her a minute to realize just who it is. A young teen boy about her age and height, floppy straight golden hair and the bluest eyes the color of sapphires. A familiar smile settles upon his face and the five year old ages before her in her mind. No it can’t be….


“Nick?” she asks softly.

He nods with a smile, his eyes showing he’s unsure of who she is but he pays it no mind. He runs a hand through his hair as he shifts his leg. “This is my favorite dream…”

“Huh?” Jessica replies, having no idea what’s going on. Still her instinct is running overtime, telling her to go along with what’s happening, to just answer on what comes instinctively. She is never one to question her feelings. They’re rarely wrong.

“This, in it there’s always someone I’m chasing, but I never find out who, but I like it. I like where it takes place. It’s weird though cause this time I’m not chasing anyone.”

Jessica, still not knowing what exactly was occurring, is disappointed by the fact he doesn’t know who she is. Meaning, he doesn’t remember her or know he even has a sibling, let alone a twin sister. Not that it would be hard to guess once you see the two together. Anyone with eyes can guess that. She doesn‘t have what iota how this is happening however. “I think I know why Nick….”

His eyes, so much like her own, brighten. “Why? How do you know me?”

She sends him a playful grin. “You’ll figure it out….”

“You seem familiar”

“I get that a lot.”

“Do you?”

“Maybe.”

“Why are you in my dream?”

“Maybe you do know me.”

“Are you always so cryptic?”

Jessica snorts. “Hell no. I just can’t say anything.” Why though? She’s just answering without knowing why she’s telling him these things. What is all this?

“Why not?”

She shrugs. “I’m a girl who runs on instinct, cause sometimes logic can fuck you up. So my instinct is saying hell no.” She smirks at him, but her eyes, although they are unreadable to Nick, anyone close to her can see she’s fighting so many urges to hug him and never let go. “What I want to know is why we’re here.”

“I’m not sure.”

“You should cause it sure ain’t me who’s doing this.”

“What do you mean?”

“Fuck if I know. I’m just as damn lost in this as you are.” She grins. “Nicky did you always ask so many questions?”

Nicky, that’s something he’s never let anyone call him, yet it stirs in him something familiar and he doesn’t mind it this time. He pushes that aside. Now Nick smirks at her. “No but with you I will I think. Why can’t you tell me now? I’m too curious.”

“You know what can happen to curious people?”

“They learn what they need to know if they pursue it.”

She watches him. “Then find out then.’”

Nick goes up to her with wonder. “What?”

“Don’t ask me, fuck, like I said, I know less about this shit than you do.” Her image begins to fade…

“Wait a second I-” Nick calls out before he...


...wakes up in his bed with a start, disoriented and confused. What was that dream about? He’s had it before but not since he was nine years old. Always chasing something, never knowing what, but always thinking he had to get it. He always loved the dream because of the beautiful place it occurred, but why is he having it now? Why is it so different now? All of it is a muddled mess. Just a crazy dream, he tells himself silently. He shakes his thoughts away and heads downstairs as he hears his mother come in and knows dinner will soon follow.


******


Jessica wakes up with a start, not sure of what happened. She glances over at Brian who is looking at her with concern.

“What?”

“You didn’t pass out again did you?” he frowns, his cerulean eyes always showing his emotions like an open door into his heart.

She smiles softly. “Nope, why do you ask?”

He leans back against the car door to relax. “You talked in your sleep. You only do that during those blackouts.”

She shrugs. “oh.”

Kevin looks back at them both as he pulls up into a parking spot. Jessica blinks. She didn‘t realize she was out that long, she had thought they were still on the freeway. She never sleeps much…weird. “Do you guys mind us staying at the Holiday Inn?”

Brian smiles and shakes his head. “Anywhere with beds is the happiest place on earth to me.”

Kevin laughs. “Your new Disneyland huh cuz? “

He grins back cheekily. “Yep! The guy who checks us in is my Mickey Mouse!”

The three laugh as they climb out of the Jeep tiredly and grab their bags. Jessica shrugs with a smirk. “Anything is better than home for me.“

As they head inside to check in, she can’t help but smile a little. She can’t remember a bit of what she dreamed, all of it a blur again. Still Jessica, not caring how she knows, can’t help but be completely sure of the fact that wherever he is, her Nicky is ok.