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Chapter Twelve


Brian's got one of those families that are sickeningly close. That's the part about them that has always been both really great and really... not so great. When I was a kid I'd go with Brian to visit his parents and it would feel really cool how much like a real family they treated me. I looked forward to being a part of it and being accepted. But it always made me feel worse about my own family, who wouldn't be that close if our asses were superglued together. There's only just so much of Brian's close-knit family that I can take before I gotta hide.

Which is why I snuck out of the house around nine o'clock and sat myself down on the front stoop of the house. I stared up at the bright Kentucky stars that hung overhead and rubbed the back of my neck. My stomach was hurting again. I put my palm across my abdomen and closed my eyes, trying to will away the pain that seared through me. I let out a breath. I could feel tears kinda half thinking about sneaking their way out of my eyes.

I wished I could make it all better somehow, make the confusion and the hurt and the suffering that we'd all been through go away. I really wanted the time machine to work. I ran my hands along my knees with a sigh and turned my eyes to the ground, to the worn dirt pathway that snaked off across the Littrells' front yard.

The front door opened and a moment later the step creaked beside me and Meira sat down. I drew a deep breath and looked up at her. She smiled and held out my pills. I reached for the bottle. "Thanks," I said.

"No problem. What are wives-from-the-future for?" her lips curled into a half smile, then she turned to look at the ground at the base of the steps, too.

I looked over at her. She still had on my Journey t-shirt.

"Do you even like Journey?"

"Who doesn't?" she asked.

I shrugged, "Deaf people."

"Obviously."

Silence fell over us for a long moment and I looked away. I let my mind wander off, imagining ways for Carl's time machine to malfunction. I pictured myself getting all wired up to that thing and something similar to those static electricity balls happening - you know the ones with the purple lightening that goes to your hand when you touch the glass? Except I'd be in the center of that shit like an overdone potato. I pictured it working like the thing in Honey I Shrunk the Kids and making me itty bitty. I pictured it just plain blowing me up like the eels at the end of the Little Mermaid.

"Whenever we talk about this part of your life you always tell me I'm what made you strong enough to do what you had to do," Meira said quietly. "I pictured this part so much different."

I looked over at her.

"I guess it didn't really occur to me that you didn't know me yet, that it wouldn't be like a hero's welcome."

"How did you picture it?" I asked.

Meira let out a dreamy sigh. "I guess I pictured... something closer to the day we met." She stared up at the stars, her eyes glazed as she spoke. "I pictured you taking my face in your hands and kissing me deeply and saying that you missed me, that you'd been waiting for me all your life. Which is silly 'cos you haven't been waiting for me all your life really. I'm not a thing to you yet... though you're the world to me."

And I felt so bad for her - because I wasn't who she wanted me to me, because she was sticking by my side anyway... so I stood up and I stepped in front of her, between her and the stars, and I grabbed her face in my hands gently, my palms pressed to her cheeks, my thumbs on her chin, on her lips, and I tilted her head sofly. I stared down into her eyes - those deep brown, hypnotizing eyes - and I whispered, "If I'm the world, perhaps you're the universe... and maybe I'm jus not comprehending yet just how big you are... but eventually I'll get there... and when I do... I'm gonna be amazed." I leaned in and I pressed my mouth against hers.

The kiss had started out as a sympathy kiss but somewhere between staring into those eyes and the flavor of her mouth and the way her lips moved to perfectly shape around mine... somewhere in there, in all the heady, dizzying, heat of the moment... it turned into magic.

When I pulled away I stared into her eyes again, breathless, my heart pounding, my hands shaking just a little bit, and I took a deep breath...and went in again for another kiss. She stood up this time, her hands brushing up the sides of my neck and into my hair. Around us, there were all the night noises of a Kentucky evening, a light wind blowing through the brush, making the porch swing creak. Meira pulled away this time and she had tears in her eyes.

"I love you," she whispered. "Oh Nick Carter, if you only knew how much I love you."

"I'm gettin' an idea of it," I whispered back.

Meira's lower lip trembled and she pulled me close and pressed her face against my chest and breathed deep, like she was trying to memorize the smell of me. "Please," she whispered, "Change whatever you need to, but don't change us."

"I don't even know what I'm changing at all yet," I reminded her.

"You will," she answered, "When I give you the message."

"Tell me what the message is," I pleaded.

"I can't yet," she answered, shaking her head.

I sighed.

"Tomorrow," she said. She moved to look up at me. "I'll tell you tomorrow."