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“Nick? Nick!” a voice drifts through the suffocating haze around me. “Goddamnit Carter! Wake up!”

With tons of effort, I manage to open my eyes to splits. A blurry face floats through my vision and after I blink several times, it finally takes a somewhat proper shape.

“Kevin?” I ask, dumbfounded.

“Good afternoon to you too,” Kevin Richardson grumbles, “I’ve been trying to wake you for ten minutes!”

Suddenly wide awake, I shoot upright, wildly looking around the room, “Where-… what-… how did you get here?” I ask, my words jumbled together in one big messy slur. Only then I notice the big frown on his face.

He looks pissed. Really pissed.

“Can you tell me what this is?” He questions slowly and I watch him retrieve an all too familiar looking syringe from behind his back.

“That son of a bitch…” I mumble in astonishment, looking at the needle with wide eyes.

“Nick?” There’s more than just concern in Kevin’s voice.

He seems… panicked.

“Oh! No! Ah, that is not what you think it is!” I exclaim, laughing nervously, “You see, I-… I can… we…. There’s…”
Helplessly, I snap my mouth shut, realizing there’s no way I can explain any of this to him, or to anyone for that matter.

“Cause to me it seems pretty clear,” Kevin fills in the blanks, looking at me with a mixture of anger and disappointment, “One derailed Backstreet Boy to deal with is pretty much all I can handle now, Nick! Damn you!”

“No! I wasn’t… You don’t understand! I was… I was tricked somehow,” I comment frowning as I think back to the events of last night.

“Right,” Kevin sighs, slowly standing up and turning away, “That’s always how it starts, isn’t it?”

“Damn it, I told you the truth, man!” I yell, getting angry now as well, “I have no reason to lie, I’m not using that stuff anymore, I haven’t used it in years!”

“But, then wh-?”

“No!” I cut him off, “Give me that needle,” I say, holding out my hand. I see him hesitating, “Please?” I add. He slowly hands me the syringe and I study it carefully. My best guess is that it contained the same stuff Roland gave Brian in ’99, when we- well, when he, took his blood, it would certainly explain why I feel so disoriented and dizzy right now, “How’d you know I was here, anyway?” I mumble, trying to approach a subject other than my supposed drug-use.

“You called last night, remember?” Kevin answer, sounding a bit annoyed, “it was like the middle of the night and you scared the hell out of Kristin.”

I nod in shame, the vague and distant memory of Kevin’s wife picking up the phone and my panicked speech slowly drifting to the surface, “Right, I’m sorry about that.”

“Anyway, you told me you were in Chicago, in a motel or something and then you just hung up on me all of a sudden!” Kevin states, his voice taking an accusing tone now.

I frown, “I did?”

“Yeah, took me like five or six hours to check all the motels around Chicago for a sign of Nick Carter.”

“He must have panicked when he figured out I called for backup,” I mutter, more to myself than anyone else, “God damnit!”

“What, who?” Kevin throws me a confused look, “What are you talking about?”

I study his face for a few seconds, contemplating if I trust Kevin enough with this information, or if he will even believe me. Shaking my head, I decide that yes, I do trust Kevin and no, I’ve known him long enough to know he would not believe me, no matter how much I would explain.

If anyone, I would have gone to Brian for help, but that’s kind of a problem right now.

“I-I did something really stupid,” I mutter, not looking Kevin in the eyes, “I need to, to go back, and…” I rub my forehead in frustration, breathing heavily as I get up and walk to the door, “I’m sorry, I… I need to go.”

“Nick wait!” I hear Kevin yell behind me as he scrambles to his feet as well, running after me.

“I’m sorry, Kev. It’s all my fault. I need to fix it,” I mumble, not caring if he hears me or not.

“I’ll go with you!” Kevin states, determined.

“But-”

“I don’t care what it is, you are in no condition to drive right now,” he comments on the way I swerved towards the door, swaying dangerously as a result of the heavy sedative Brian, no not Brian, used on me. Before I know what happened, Kevin has snatched the car keys from my fingers, and walks confidently towards the parking lot.

“Whereto, brother?” He questions seriously and I smile, glad I’m at least not alone in this anymore. Not entirely, at least.