- Text Size +
** AJ **

“I am not staying here!” Brian stamped his foot in a manner that reminded me of Baylee when he was in the middle of throwing a tantrum. “I can’t – I just can’t do it.”

“Do you have an alternative suggestion?” Kevin challenged his younger cousin. “There are no hotel rooms available in Franklin. Howie’s been calling around for the past two hours and he keeps getting the same answer; no vacancy.”

I absently twirled the unlit cigarette between my fingers and darted my eyes back and forth between the Kentucky cousins. I had been about to disappear for a cigarette when the situation had begun to play itself out. I had immediately decided that my nicotine addiction could wait a few more minutes. The impending argument was going to be one that would be simply too good to miss.

“I will literally stay anywhere but here!” Brian took a step closer to Kevin, his voice rising. “Do you really want to stay here amongst all of his stuff?”

“It makes sense.” Kevin argued. “What if Lauren comes back?”

“If Lauren magically appears and finds us all sleeping in her house, she’s going to shit a brick!” Brian shot back.

Kevin frowned. “Did you even consider the fact that she might be happy to see us? This is the best place for us to be right now. The police know that we’re here and the media doesn’t. What more do you want?”

“I want to be somewhere that doesn’t remind me of Nick!” Brian exploded. “I want to be somewhere that isn’t filled with his clothes, and his smell, and his fat-assed dog!”

I bent down to address Nacho who was sprawled out on the area rug in the middle of the living room. His breathing was becoming laboured from the simple act of trying to fall asleep. “Brian didn’t mean it.” I promised as I scratched the pug roughly behind the ears. “Your ass isn’t that fat.”

Howie brought a hand to his mouth in an attempt to hide his smile, but his move was unnecessary. Kevin and Brian were locked in their standoff, completely oblivious to the fact that Howie and I were still in the room.

“Brian, I know that you’re upset, but we really don’t have any other choice.” Kevin’s voice softened. “Unless you want to sleep in your car.”

“Maybe I will sleep in my car.” Brian fumed. “If nothing else, it will allow me to be far away from you.”

The anger returned to Kevin’s face in record speed. “There’s no need to be snippy with me! You act like you’re the only person who’s suffering.”

Brian’s mouth fell open. “I can’t believe that you had the nerve to say that! Do you really think that I’m so much of a selfish prick that I can’t see how this is impacting all of us?”

I stood up from my position next to Nacho and cast a worried look at Howie. The situation was now on the verge of getting out of hand. The last thing that the four of us needed to do was turn on each other. I opened my mouth to add my opinion, but stopped when my phone began to vibrate against my leg. I hastily pulled the device out of my pocket and saw Rochelle’s smiling image on the display. As soon as I saw her face, I was overwhelmed with the need to hear her voice. I waved my phone discreetly in Howie’s direction and headed for the front door. Howie, the peacemaker, could deal with the angry southerners.

“Hey, baby.” I pulled the door closed behind me and stepped out onto Nick’s front porch. The sun had already set, and the subdivision was humming with the lights and sounds of families getting ready for the approaching work week. I placed the cigarette between my lips and pulled a lighter from my pocket. “How are you doing?”

“I’ve been better.” Rochelle admitted. “I can’t stop watching the coverage. The story is all over the Internet now.”

I cringed as I inhaled the first welcoming blast of nicotine. I had been avoiding the online world for that exact reason. “You shouldn’t be reading that stuff. I bet that most of it’s not even true.”

“I know.” Rochelle’s voice wavered. “I just don’t know what else to do. I’ve spoken to the other wives. We’re all really worried about you guys, and we can’t seem to stop speculating about Lauren.”

My mind immediately flashed to my morning commute from Atlanta. I could still hear the determination in Brian’s voice as he asked me to hang up on Leighanne. “You’ve spoken to ALL of the other wives?”

Rochelle hesitated. “I had a group chat with Leigh and Kristin this afternoon.”

“What about Leighanne?” I exhaled into the darkness and took another long drag.

“She – She didn’t pick up.”

I knew that my wife was lying, but I didn’t have the heart to call her bluff. “That’s too bad.”

“AJ, have the police – have the police told you what happened?” Rochelle stuttered. “Was it really Nick’s body that they found?”

“It – It – It looks like it.” I choked out the response. “They brought us his wallet and showed us some pictures of him doing drugs at the club. The police are telling us that they can’t officially confirm that it’s him until someone identifies the body, but things aren’t looking so good at the moment as far as Nick is concerned.”

“Shit.” Rochelle had started to cry; her sniffles making her voice sound muffled. “He was using again?”

“I guess so.” I walked to the end of the driveway and tossed the remainder of my cigarette onto the street. “I had no idea that he had started again. He seemed fine the last time that I saw him.”

“Did any of the other guys have any idea? What about Brian? He and Nick seemed pretty inseparable while you guys were in Europe.”

“Brian didn’t know.” I shook my head for my own benefit. “You should see him, Ro. He’s taking it worse than the rest of us.”

“Isn’t that what you expected?” Rochelle sounded surprised. “Nick was his best friend.”

“I know …” I struggled to find the right words. “Brian just seems so volatile at the moment, whereas the other guys are acting just like I expected them to. Howie is bottling everything up like he always does by concentrating on a stupid list of mundane tasks. As usual, Kevin is coming across like a stubborn asshole because he’s trying to be strong for everyone else. I was expecting Brian to be overly emotional, but he’s more than that. It’s almost like he physically can’t deal with the situation. I thought that he was going to have a heart attack when we first stepped into Nick’s house.”

“And how are you doing?” Rochelle encouraged. “I thought that YOU were having a heart attack when I found you this morning.”

I thought back to my own shortness of breath, to the absolute sense of heartache and terror that I experienced every time that I allowed myself to focus on the fact that I was never going to see Nick again; at least not alive and well. “I’m just as fucked up as everyone else.”

Rochelle actually laughed. “God, I miss you! Are you sure that you don’t want me to come out there?”

“I want you to be here more than anything.” I admitted. “But the guys and I have some stuff that we need to sort out on our own. I’ll let you know when I have more details about – about the funereal and everything.”

“Okay.” Rochelle was sobbing again. “I still can’t believe that he’s gone, AJ.”

“Neither can I.” I pinched the bridge of my nose to keep from crying myself. The whole day had been way too emotional for my liking. “Give Ava a big kiss from her daddy.”

“I will.” Rochelle promised. “Try to stay strong.”

I snorted in amusement at my wife’s final comment. If only she knew. “I’ll try my best.”

“He’s impossible!”

My finger was still in the process of pressing the button to end the call when Brian came storming out of the house. He stomped across the porch and began making his way down the driveway, his hands crammed into the front pocket of his Kentucky Wildcat’s sweatshirt. His behaviour confirmed my earlier assessment; it was like watching an overgrown version of Baylee throwing a hissy fit.

“I assume this means that we’re staying here?” I tucked my phone back into my pocket and watched as Brian headed towards his car.

“Of course we are.” Brian grumbled. “The almighty Kevin has spoken.”

“Are you really going to take his advice and sleep in your car?”

Brian gave me a withering look as he yanked open the driver door. “No, AJ, I’m not going to take his stupid advice and sleep in my car.”

“Than what are you doing?” I took a few tentative steps forward. With the way that Brian was behaving I didn’t know if it was such a good idea for him to get behind the wheel. I had a sickening vision of him slamming his car into a tree in a sudden fit of rage.

“I’m going to pick up dinner.” Brian spat. “Kevin is now assigning me busy work to keep me out of his hair.”

“I’ll come with you.” I quickened my pace and intercepted Brian before he could swing himself up into the driver’s seat. I deftly plucked his car keys from his fingers and pushed past him into the car. “I’m driving.”

“Of course you are.” Brian rolled his eyes as he walked around the SUV and ripped open the passenger door. “If Kevin can tell me what to do, why can’t you?”

I chose to ignore Brian’s comment as he climbed in next to me. “Where are we going?”

Brian shrugged, his arms folded across his chest in defiance. “Kevin wants KFC.”

“Perfect.” I flipped on the headlights and began backing out of the driveway. “We’ll get pizza.”

Brian shook his head and uncrossed his arms. He shot me a grateful smile. “Thanks, AJ.”

“For what?”

“I dunno.” Brian shrugged again. “For understanding, I suppose.”

I slowed for a stop sign and dared a quick glance at Brian. He appeared to have simmered down from his fight with Kevin, but he was still staring out of the window with a spacey look on his face. I wished that he would just open up and say what he needed to say about Nick, about Leighanne, and about everything else that was running through his head. Losing Nick had made me realize just how fragile and potentially even superficial my relationships with the rest of the guys had become. I had no idea that Nick had fallen off the wagon, just as I had no idea that Brian was suffering at home. It was too late for me to fix my relationship with Nick, but I still had time to change things for the better as far as Brian was concerned.

“No worries.” I grinned and jabbed at the audio system.

If I was driving, Brian would have to agree to listen to whatever I wanted. The stereo sprang to life and Drake’s ‘Started from the Bottom’ began blasting through the speakers. I did a double take and nearly veered off the road as I confirmed that we were, indeed, listening to a CD as opposed to the radio.

“Drake?” I couldn’t even be bothered to hide my surprise. “Since when do YOU listen to Drake?”

Brian flashed me a goofy grin and began to move his head in time with the beat. “I heard Howie listening to him at some point during the tour. You can put on whatever you want.”

“No.” I could feel the smile pulling at the corners of my mouth as I watched Brian begin to mouth the words to the chorus. “This is fine.”

“What?” Brian laughed softly; his mood was clearly starting to improve. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“It’s just …” I trailed off and shook my head one final time in disbelief. I realized that I may know even less than I thought I did about the man sitting beside me. “Who ARE you?”