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Show day.

I woke up that morning feeling nervous.

It was the day we had all been waiting for, a day we'd been rehearsing for weeks. Our very first performance in front of a crowd...as a group. I had performed at my church back home for some time as a kid, but this was the big time. We were finally doing what had been talked about since the five of us had signed the papers. I constantly asked myself why I was doing this.

The Backstreet Boys were about to show everyone what we could do. I was terrified. I looked around at the others, and they looked just as scared. I suddenly caught myself wondering what I was getting myself into.

I remember back to that day I got the phone call from Kevin to join the group. I was sitting in History class and was called down to the front office thinking some family member had passed away, or something was gravely wrong with my parents. A millipn scenarios ran through my mind on that walk down to the office.

"Brian Littrell? You have a phone call."

I picked up the phone and closed my eyes as if doing so would erase my anxiety.

"Hello?"

"Brian, it's Kevin."

"What are you doing calling me at school?" I asked, looking nervously at the secretary and shrugging. She smiled and returned to her paperwork.

"Brian I just got signed to this singing group, and-" Kevin started, but I interrupted him.

"You called me about this singing group? Look, I need to get back to class, cous." I went to hang up but he started shouting excitedly.

"Don't hang up. Look, Lou says we need a fifth guy to round out our sound. I told them about you and they wanna have you audition. Please do this for me. I need you." Kevin begged. I rolled my eyes. This was so ridiculous, I pinched my own arm to make sure I was not dreaming.

"Are you serious?" I asked, my arm throbbing slightly.

"Yes. Lou really wants to hear you sing. I told him you were good. Please?" he begged.

"Okay, if I said yes...and that is a BIG if...when am I supposed to be there to audition?" I said. I was very doubtful about joining a group that had no guarantee of making it big. I didn't even plan on being famous. I wanted to be a teacher, not in a singing group. It didn't seem like it was for me.

I heard Kevin talking to someone before he spoke to me again.

"Right now over the phone....just sing something....anything."

"Now?"

I felt my heart beating faster. I had performed in the church and other things but performing on command was something I was not used to.

"I can't do this now, Kevin."

"Please, I promise you won't regret it. Trust me, you'll be fine."

I took a breath and closed my eyes, started singing the first thing I thought of. I could hear clapping when I was finished.

I always closed my eyes when I was nervous, it had been a habit of mine when I was younger and I still did it.

"You're in.....all you need to do is get your butt down here!" Kevin had told me. A month or two later, here we are at Sea World about to perform our very first show.

I stand in front of the bathroom mirror, feeling anxious again. My nerves were shot.

"You almost ready?" Kevin asked, poking his head in the door.

"As ready as I will ever be. You really think I can do this Kevin? Are we going to be okay?" I asked.

Kevin just smiled.

"I know you can. We all have it in us. Just trust me. I wouldn't have  called if I didn't think you could do it."

"Just picture everyone naked." AJ chimed in as I rolled my eyes.

"I have no intention of seeing any of you naked. Especially you, Jay." I said. Nick giggled, appearing next to me and put his hand on my shoulder.

"If it makes you feel better, I am scared too." he whispered.

"Just close your eyes if you get nervous."

I shrugged him off...he's just a kid. What does he know?

Closing my eyes when I was afraid was something I had been doing since I was little. I had a bad habit of it when I sang, my choir teacher often scolded me for it growing up..but for some reason I always did it anyway until I didn't feel scared anymore.

I could hear the crowd when we got to the stage and we all stood in a circle.

"We should pray," I said.

"Pray?"

"Yes, pray. Let's pray for a good show." I said. All of us took one anothers hands and bowed our heads in prayer, I said a few words and we all smiled at each other.

"Boys, you're on in five." a stagehand told us.

I wanted to throw up.

"Guys this is it. All that we have practiced for has lead us to this moment. We can do this. Let's show 'em what we're made of." Lou cheered, waddling over. Nick made a point to duck behind Kevin when he came by.

"Show 'em what we're made of." Kevin repeated.

I turned, taking a deep breath as we marched out onto the stage, seeing all the faces looking up at me. My heart was beating a mile a minute.

This is what I signed up for. I knew in that moment, I was in it for the long haul, I would prove everybody wrong. I wasn't scared.

I closed my eyes and began to sing, and it felt great.

I knew I wouldn't regret signing that paper.