I drove up to his house and put my rental car in park. Normally I would not have flown all this way, but I was worried. I was worried about Nick. None of us have heard from him in almost two weeks; which was unusual. I got out of the car and shut the door behind me. I noticed while walking up the drive his yard looked like it hasn’t had a good mow in years. I knocked on the door. No answer. I continuously rang his doorbell next. No answer. As I tried to remember where he kept his spare key I decided to see if it was unlocked. I turned the handle and sure enough it was. As I walked in I noticed a terrible smell. This was not looking good.

“Nick!” I called. No answer,” Yo, Nick dude this isn’t funny,” I hollered,” I began to worry even more. I decided to investigate. I walked into the kitchen and came to the conclusion where the terrible stench was coming from. The dishes were piled in the sink, on the counters, and even some on the table. Nacho’s bowls looked like they hadn’t been clean in years. He certainly wasn’t taking this break up well, but why didn’t he call and talk to someone? Maybe he was just embarrassed. Investigating more I walked down the hall and into his bedroom. I took a quick sweep around the room I noticed clothes were thrown everywhere. Picture frames of him and Lauren were broken and glass was shattered all over the floor. He clearly had been upset.” Nick? Are you pulling some God awful prank or something? Because this prank really sucks dude,” I was hoping he would jump from behind the curtains or hell even out of the closet, but still no sign of him. Looking into his closet all his clothes were still there, but most of Lauren’s were on the floor like he threw them there. My heart was breaking for him and I don’t even know where he is. He clearly was having trouble and I don’t know where he is. Hell, he didn’t even tell us the full story of what happened between the two of them. I have finally realized though-he isn’t here.

“Maybe he went to the store or something?” I questioned aloud as I walked into his living room. I could not bear to look at the sight of his house any longer. I don’t think I have ever seen it this bad. He was pretty messy on tour, but this was just bad. I moved some garbage from the couch and made myself a spot and plopped down on the couch.

*****

I heard my phone ringing. I looked at the time 2:30.

“Damn I must have fallen asleep,” I said looking at my phone not recognizing the number I decided to answer it,” Hello?”

“Yes, may I speak with Brian Littrell please?”

“This is him. May I ask whose calling?”

“This is Detective Smith from the LAPD.” I was confused and then it dawned on me-Nick.

“How can I help you?”

“I have some bad news to tell you, but I don’t think I should tell you over the phone. If you are in the area do you think you could swing by the station? I have some questions to ask you.” I took a deep breath.

“Yeah I am not too far from there. I can be there in about 20 minutes.” I hung up the phone. I was now confused and really worried.

***

I arrived at the station and was greeted by Detective Smith immediately. He took me into his office and I sat down in the chair across from his desk.

“So what is going on?” I asked.

“Do you recognize this car?” he pulled out a picture from a file folder and showed it to me. It was Nick’s 2013 hummer.

“Yes did something happen to him?” the Detective quickly sighed. I had a feeling I was going to be braced with some news I certainly was not ready to hear.

“We found his car in the Los Angeles River down by Long Beach this afternoon any idea why?”

“Are you sure it wasn’t like stolen and just dumped there?” I questioned.

“We also found a bottle of anxiety pills. When we opened the bottle in the evidence lab there were only just a few in there. The prescription was just filled a few days ago.”

“So what are you saying?” I asked,” Are you telling me Nick killed himself?” I know Nick would not have done this. Even on his worst of days he wouldn’t. He loved the fans too much and we were his family. He had been acting weird lately after the break up. I guess anything was possible.

“We don’t know that, but it’s looking that way. Has he ever been suicidal before?” I shook my head. “Not that I know of I know he has been depressed lately. His wife just left him a couple of weeks ago. He quit talking to us which is why I flew out here. I was worried about him. I guess I was too late.” I felt like this was almost my fault. If I had just flown out here when she left him maybe I could have helped him. I have seen break ups before, but this one was different. He truly loved Lauren. They were meant for each other or so I thought anyway,” Did you find his body? Do I need to ID it or something? Did you contact his parents?”

“We tried contacting his family but no one answered. To answer your question no we haven’t found a body just he car. We are assuming when the car was driven into the river the current took the body with it. The driver’s side door was open as well as the passenger side window was rolled all the way down as well. The chance of actually finding his body is almost slim to none I am afraid. We also found this in the passenger seat” he showed me a dog collar in an evidence bag.

“Nacho,” I whispered,” He took him with him I guess. I suppose you didn’t find any remains of a little pug either?” he shook his head,” None of this makes sense to me. Nick wouldn’t do this kind of thing. I know him. Are you sure there isn’t some foul play or anything?”

“We aren’t ruling it out, but because he car was in the river all evidence has pretty much been compromised Mr. Littrell. Until I can either find a body or he shows up there isn’t much I can do right now other than speculate what happened.” I sighed.

“Thank you Detective for all the information.” I stood up and shook his hand,” I have a lot of people to notify. What do we do next?” “Keep looking for clues. Not much I can do without a body. I will have the force out for the next couple of weeks to look for the body. My budget is stretched as it is so after two weeks I cannot continue the search I am sorry”

“I understand,” I nodded my head,” Please call me if he turns up or if you find anything else out.”

“I will be sure you are notified first,” I shook his hand once more and walked out of the office and back to my car. Nick was gone. He just disappeared. I didn’t even know how to react. I have lost family members in my life, but this was hard. I think I am just more in shock than anything. When it sets in, its’ going to set in hard. I decided to go back to Nick’s house to see if I could find anything out of place. On my way there I wondered how I was going to tell Howie, AJ, and Kevin. How was I going to tell Leighanne or even Baylee? They were best friends. The worst part of this situation was going to be the reaction from the fans. I had so much to do and so little time to do it all in.